I participate in the weekly blog of the TV show “24” over on Dave Barry’s blog. Here’s my weekly summary; it’s slightly different than what was posted over there. Typepad’s message filtering system didn’t let me post the original. I had to change a few words to get it to post.
Oh oh, we get local channels on the dish… Apparently the local channels on the dish are on strike (including 24!) because 167 hours of SpongeBob per week, and the local channels feel neglected. Either that, or it was that storm last night.
I called the provider, whose initials are D.I.S.H., and they said that the local channels weren’t on yet because of clouds. Or a bird. Maybe even the wind. I’m still thinking it’s SpongeBob. I’m gonna have to watch this over-the-air without TiVo.
Anyway. this is my really long-winded way of saying that I’m going to be summarizing without a net tonight, so if this is a bit inaccurate, if I miss a few people that get shot, or if it’s got really really lame jokes, then everything is normal.
10pm – CTU. Everyone’s panicking. Without Jack, there’s no CTU, and worse, no season next year.
10:01 – Jack’s OK! That was the scariest minute of their lives. Jack is carrying IEST. Audrey looks like she’s going to cry.
10:02 – Interrogation of IEST begins, which involves Jack yelling really really loudly, because that always works. They’re taking IEST to the top place to treat the injuried….CTU.
10:03 – Jack wants to know where Robocop went, and Bill doesn’t know. Jack thinks Robocop is working on a bigger subplot.
10:04 – Scary’s on the phone with Madam Haig, and wants her to jump through hoops. He realizes it’s Haig…he thought he dialed 1-800-HOT-HOOP
10:05 – Creepy Home Security Guy thinks he can work his Creepy magic on Audrey to turn her against CTU. Probably the same magic he worked on Shari.
10:06 – Robocop has henchmen too!
10:07 – Secret Service guy got Wayne back to retreat, and he wants to know what’s going on too. Evelyn (Mrs. Manilow’s assistant) was giving out information that got President All-State killed!
10:08 – Mrs. Manilow wants to chit-chat while Evelyn just wants to get the heck out of there.
10:09 – Wayne catches up with her, and confronts her about the e-mail. He tells her that unless she lets him know what was in those e-mails, he’ll tell everyone she’s the biggest spammer on the East coast, which is sure to get her in BIG trouble.
10:09 – Yikes! They kidnapped Evelyn’s little girl!
10:11 – She’ll give up the evidence if Wayne can get her daughter back. Someone better tell Jack. He’s good at this sort of thing.
10:16 – Insane Shari and Chloe see the Homeland Security people walking in, as if they were those girls from Deal or No Deal. Without the money. Or Howie.
10:17 – They’re taking over CTU! Madam Haig invoked with Backslash Protocol! Which is much worse than the Frontslash Protocol.
10:18 – Creepy Home Security guy invites Audrey into another room.
10:19 – Jack’s on the phone with Wayne. Wayne gives him the story…..and tells Jack! Woo hoo! That kid is as good as saved.
10:20 – They go to leave, but decide to separate…after all, the bad guys wouldn’t suspect that the woman they’re black mailing and the guy they were just trying to kill would be talking to each other….noooooo.
10:21 – Creepy is talking to Audrey, and he wants her to sign something that blames CTU for everything that happened. Creepy tries to tell Audrey that her career is on the line, if she doesn’t sign that thing. She goes to sign it….and NO…Creepy is denied.
10:22 – Jack calls Audrey, and Jack gives her Wayne’s story. Audrey tells him about the CTU take over. Audrey reminds him that Madam Haig is “in charge here”. Jack thinks Creepy and his padwans are in on the plot. He wants Audrey to get Chloe back on.
10:23 – Whoa! Audrey goes to Madam Haig to sign the papers! That’s how she’ll get Chloe back. Creepy doesn’t want to go along with it, but Haig goes for it. Foolish Mortals. They know nothing of Chloe and her leet haxor skillz.
10:24 – Robocop tells his henchmen that Evalyn will be leaving the presidential retreat soon, and that he’ll take care of the little girl.
10:29 – Evalyn’s at her car. Secret Service guy and Wayne get caught by the Emperor..er, I mean Scary VP. They make up a story about picking something up at the retreat, and Scary tries to use his mind powers to find out why he’s there. Doesn’t look like Scary bought the story.
10:33 – Bill tells Chloe that everything will be OK. Creepy tells Bill and Chloe about the paper, and Audrey tells Bill that she agreed with what she signed. Bill looks at her like he just found out that he could have been paying less for his car insurance.
10:34 – Wayne and Evelyn are driving on the road. She probably wouldn’t be in the car if she knew about Wayne’s LAST ride in a car. She’s upset about President All-State still. She gets a phone call from Robocop, and Jack’s on the line listening.
10:35 – Robocop knew that Wayne was there, but lets Amy (the daughter) talk to Evelyn. He wants her to go to 40615 Tarpen Street, stop at the local McDonald’s for a Happy Meal, a big Mac, and one of those yummy cherry pies….and to bring some information.
10:37 – Jack calls Audrey with the address. Audrey and Bill exchange looks, and Bill looks like he found out that he won’t be back next season and is almost in tears. This Audrey crying thing must be catching. Audrey goes to talk to Chloe who doesn’t EVEN look in the mood to talk. Audrey tells Chloe why she signed the paper (to get Chloe back near a CTU computer).
10:41 – Creepy farm house exterior, with Wayne and Evelyn inside. Someone drives up….good thing they thought to hide in a barn in the middle of no where. They hide behind a board, because boards in barns are bullet proof. It’s just Jack…who enters from the back of the barn. Wayne looks like he feels silly for forgetting the old “Sneaking in the back entrance of the barn” trick.
10:43 – Jack makes a phone call on that “never looses a signal” phone, and calls Chloe. Chloe uploads real-time information to Jack’s super PDA.
10:44 – Wayne wants to go with Jack, and WAYNE looks like he’s going to cry when Jack says no. Audrey’s disease strikes again, so Jack changes his mind since Audrey has that effect on him.
10:45 – Scary VP sneaks up on President Manilow, who’s self congratulating himself about the day. Scary finds out that Evelyn and President All-State where buddies… oh oh… not good info to tell Emperor Scary.
10:46 – Jack tell’s Evelyn to be careful and she drives off for that McDonald’s happy meal.
10:47 – Chloe uploads MORE information to Jack’s super PDA (this thing must have 50gig on it), and pinpoints a bad guy for Jack to shoot. He looks happy, but disappointed that he’ll have to wait to do that until after the commercial.
10:52 – Abandoned factory….Robocop is there with his henchmen. Wayne and Jack find someone to shoot, and Jack does so.
10:53 – Jack outsources one of his henchmen kills to Wayne, and Jack looks disappointed.
10:54 – Chloe’s on the phone with Wayne. Wayne shoots the guy he’s supposed to, but doesn’t look like he wanted to….
10:55 – Jack’s sneaks up on one of the henchmen and kills him. Jack screws around with the walkie-talkie they were using, and disguises his voice so he can talk to Robocop. He picks up the gun with the scope and aims it at Evelyn’s car that just pulled up.
10:56 – Robocop gives Evelyn instructions and heads out to meet Evelyn at the car. Evelyn ducks, and Jack starts shooting. Wayne and Jack shoot everyone else including Evelyn, but miss Robocop, who gets away.
10:59 – Evelyn tells Jack that it WASN’T Scary that was behind this whole plot. It was MANILOW!
11:00 – Time’s up!