You think we’d let a little thing like the season finale of “24” get in the way of blogging what happened the very next hour AFTER the finale? Ha! Then you don’t know the people that blog over on Dave Barry’s Blog very well. You can read the entire thread here, meanwhile, here’s my synopsis of what …er…probably happened.
The following takes place between 7 am and 8 am
7:00 am – Curtis arrives at CTU. After searching for Chloe and most importantly Jack, he realizes that someone must have taken them hostage, but he has no idea where they are, and he dashes out to his to look for them.
7:02 – Mrs. Manilow watches as Manilow drives away in his limousine, and turns to “high five” Cheney Looking Guy (CLG). CLG doesn’t realize this is coming, and when she slaps him straight in the center of his face, CLG falls over.
7:03 – Jack, very strategically, remains passed out in the middle of a dark room aboard the ship.
7:04 – Audrey confronts one of the CTU agents about Jack’s whereabouts, and CTU agent tells her he has no idea where Jack is. Audrey bursts into tears. The CTU agent backs up slowly and tells her he’ll try and find out what happened. He turns around and runs.
7:06 – Scary Shari exits the computer room at CTU, and goes back to her workstation. She looks around, and decides it’s safe to continue her solitaire game.
7:07 – Chloe, on her way home, stops at a gas station. She looks around, leans in close to the gas pump, and presses several buttons on the key pad. The gas pump price resets to 25 cents, and Chloe starts to pump gas.
7:08 – On a hunch, Curtis sets up a perimeter at the nearest McDonald’s.
7:09 – Miles is yelling into his cell phone and pulls rank on the secret service agent on the phone, telling him that he’s number two at CTU. The secret service agent on the other end tells Miles that he completely believes that. Then he tells Miles that Manilow is under investigation, and they’re looking for an unnamed accomplice. Miles screams like a little girl and drops the phone.
7:10 – As a Chinese agent peers into a door’s window on the ship, Jack, appearing to be completely passed out still, rolls over with his back after from the window.
7:11 – A convenience store.
7:12 – Chloe, driving home, realizes it’s a bit odd that there are no cars on the roads anywhere. She hits a button on her dashboard, and we see every traffic light on the road she’s driving on turn to green exactly at the same time.
7:17 – A maintenance man empties trashcans around CTU. He accidentally brushes Scary Shari’s shoulder while trying to reach for her trashcan, and she screams at him, saying that she’ll sue for harassment! The maintenance man runs off.
7:19 – Curtis drives off from the McDonald’s, all the Egg McMuffins completely secured. He tries again to reach Jack on the his cell phone, but can’t reach him. Curtis calls Bill’s cell phone.
7:22 – Audrey realizes that she can try and call Jack. She dials the number, just as her cell phone runs out of battery. Audrey bursts into tears.
7:23 – The Chinese guard, sensing that something is not quite right, opens the door to the room they’ve been keeping Jack in and goes in. Just as he reaches Jack, Jack rolls over, trips the guard, knocking him unconscious. Jack very professionally continues to be asleep.
7:25 – Bill’s cell phone rings, and it’s Curtis. Bill realizes that something is wrong, mainly because Curtis tells him that something is wrong. Bill tries to call Jack, and gets the message “The customer you are trying to reach is on a boat headed to China. We can connect you for a charge of $52.23 per minute.”. Bill is amazed at this price, and can’t believe the cell phone company is offering him a discount rate, and decides to make the call.
7:28 – Miles, in a complete panic, heads back to CTU.
7:34 – A second Chinese guard goes past the room where Jack is being held, and sees that the first Chinese guard is on the floor. He grabs Jack and drags him out into the hallway of the ship. Jack takes this opportunity to sleep some more.
7:35 – Bill reaches Jack’s cell phone! But it’s only a message: “Hi, this is Jack. I’m out of range right now. If this is a terrorist emergency, please press one. If you’d like a bomb disarmed, please press two. If you’d like someone’s thigh shot, please press three. If you have any other needs, please press four, and you’ll be connected to someone that can help you.”.
7:36 – Miles reaches CTU. The guard there has no idea who he is. He shows them his ID card, and the guard tells him that the last time someone showed him an ID card like that, they came into CTU and set off a gas canister, and he’s not going to let THAT happen again.
7:38 – Bill presses “4”. Chloe’s cell phone rings just as she arrives in front of her house, and she answers. Bill quickly explains that Jack is missing, and they need her help. Chloe runs inside her house.
7:40 – Commercial
7:45 – The Chinese guard that has Jack drags him into the top deck of the boat. Another guard is out on deck, smoking a cigarette. He sees the guard dragging Jack, goes to help. He grabs Jack’s arm. Out of pure instinct, Jack’s elbow smashes the guy right in the face. The guy drops his cigarette, and it rolls down the deck. Strange foreshadowing music plays.
7:47 – Audrey sees a pay phone, and runs for it. She digs in her purse, trying to find enough money to make a phone call. She realizes she has none, and bursts into tears.
7:49 – Chloe runs towards the front door of her house and we hear “Chloe identified”, and the doors open by themselves. Chloe yells “Chloe ID: 4 8 15 16 23 42″, and the whole wall of her living room swings around to reveal a really, really big computer.
7:51 – The guards on deck start hitting Jack, while Jack continues to be completely passed out, waiting for his big chance. The cigarette that fell to the ground earlier rolls towards some large leaking gas canisters that were there by an obvious plot device.
7:53 – Scary Shari, obviously distraught, goes into the lady’s room to freshen up. She goes to wash her hands, and sees her reflection in the mirror. She sees her hand touching her other hand, looks straight into the mirror, and decides she’s going to sue herself for harassment.
7:54 – Audrey sees a squirrel. Audrey bursts into tears.
7:55 – Madam Haig calls Bill asks him if anyone at CTU called someone to tell them the curfew in LA was over.
7:56 – Miles tries to storm past the guards, and they taser him.
7:57 – Chloe hits a big red button on her computer console, one labeled “In Case of Jack Going Missing At The End Of An Episode”. Immediately, the computer screen switches to an overhead shot of Jack being beaten up on the deck of the Chinese ship.
7:58 – The gas canisters aboard the ship explode, knocking everyone off their feet. In another obvious plot device, Jack – still passed out – falls into a life boat attached to the side of the main boat. Another explosion. Then another. Then several more just to prove that there are a lot of explosions going on. Jack’s boat is throw off and away from the main boat by the force of the explosions. The last thing we see is Jack fast asleep in the life boat as the last of the Chinese boat sinks.
7:59 – Jack wakes up, and wonders where the heck he is.
8:00 – Time’s up!