Jack jumped RoboEdgar off the cost of Miami, preventing RoboEdgar from starting a hurricane. RoboEdgar flew off with Jack still attached. Curtis and Chloe have flown from Miami using a hypersonic Harrier Jet to try and find RoboEdgar and Jack. They suspect that he’s somewhere in the Midwest, but are having a tough time tracking him down because there are no lines on the ground like there are on maps. Jack dropped out of the sky, and was saved by an Amish family. They have mistaken him as one of their own. Jack is being taken to the local doctor. Ex-President Manilow has gone back to warn Acting President Aaron about Marwan being brought back from beyond the grave. Audrey is still fascinated by her fingers.
Please note that because of some incredibly difficult editing procedures and several broken crayons, the times in last week’s synopsis were incorrectly calculated and were off by an hour. We blame this on Daylight Savings time; Daylight Savings time blamed it on us. We hope to reconcile soon. Ed: I fixed the time on my post here, but not on Dave’s Blog
We think the following happened between 1 pm and 2 pm, but we’re not sure because we became distracted when someone’s cell phone went off.
1:00 pm – The Amish couple and Jack continue down the road in the black buggy, which has a bumper sticker on the back that says “My other buggy is a buggy too”. Jack’s head is bandaged. The Amish woman asks Jack where he’s from and Jack tells her “Los Lobos”. Jack asks what their names are, and they introduce themselves as Douglas and Katherine Yoder. Jack replies that he loved the part in the movie where Yoder taught Luke about The Force.
1:01 pm – Chloe and Curtis are still searching for Jack, but don’t see any sign of him or RoboEdgar. Chloe does, however, see lots of other signs, which are large, green and have white lettering. Chloe asks Curtis what the heck is going on, and he says they don’t have enough fuel to make a “straight down” landing, and that they are going to make an emergency landing on the expressway. This takes a while because several cars go by and won’t let them merge into the right lane. A car finally blinks its lights a couple of times and the plane lands, and rolls down the highway to an exit ramp.
1:04 pm – Manilow is very animatedly trying to explain to Aaron that Marwan is back, and has resorted to drawing stick figures on a large white board. Aaron doesn’t seem to comprehend what’s Manilow is talking about, because Aaron has no reaction whatsoever.
1:05 pm – Mysterious-Hollywood-Agent-Looking Guy is on the phone, complaining about the shipment of terrorists he ordered. “I specifically said no sidekicks!” He slams down the phone, and turns to the two sidekicks standing in front of him. I places a large number “1” and number “2” stickers, on each of them and they start giggling and making “number 1” and “number 2” jokes at each other. Hollywood turns to a Senior Lackey, and tells him to get the sidekicks out of his sight.
1:07 pm – Jack continues to ride in the buggy as it slowly goes down the road. He looks over and sees something in the cornfield, and suddenly leaps out of the carriage. Well, it’s more like he steps out of the carriage, since it’s going about walking speed. But, he does get out and starts yelling and screaming as he runs through the cornfield. He picks up a few clods of dirt and starts throwing them while he heads further into the cornfield, scaring a lot of blackbirds. He gets them all to leave, yells “Audrey! I saved you!” and gives a huge hug to a scarecrow.
1:11 pm – The Yoders drag Jack away from the scarecrow, telling each other that the bump on his head must have been worse than they realized. They continue on their journey and make their way to a small bunch of buildings with a lot of signs promoting quilts, hand-made furniture, and cows. A large guy wearing sun glasses, Hawaiian shirt, and shorts is questioning an Amish farmer where exactly the “on” switch is on that cow, and were exactly to plug it in. Douglas continues to drive the buggy to their destination.
1:13 pm – Chloe and Curtis roll up to a gas station, and try to very inconspicuously fill up the tank on their Harrier jet. They fill up the tank, ring up $15,000 on the gas pump, and go inside to pay. Curtis asks Chloe what they’re going to do to disable RoboEdgar without Jack around, and Chloe says she’s working on it.
1:15 pm – Manilow has resorted to pantomime to try and explain that Marwan is back, but Aaron still doesn’t respond to this at all.
1:16 pm – The attendant looks at them, looks around the store and tells them he has to get them the “locals” rate, since they’re obviously from the nearby Air Force base and not out of town. The bill comes to $150. Chloe and Curtis look at each other, shrug, and go back out to the plane. As they reach the plane, Chloe snaps her fingers, and asks Curtis to wait a minute while she runs back inside.
1:18 pm – Marwan arrives at Hollywood’s secret office, with a few thugs and blonde curly-haired man, named Janosz. Janosz looks really upset. Hollywood asks him what the problem is, and Janosz says that he’s mad that he wasn’t able to conjure up Vigo the Carpathian. Hollywood reassures him that bringing back Marwan will do just as nicely. Hollywood spends to next few minutes explaining to Marwan that he’s personally assigned RoboEdgar the jobs of getting Jack out of Los Angeles and to kill him. The first part worked great, the second, not so much. They begin discussing a new plot to take over part of Los Angeles, while we here Janosz in the background mumbling about looking out for proton packs.
1:21 pm – Bill returns from lunch and goes to talk to Audrey. She’s in a very heated argument with a lamp. Bill tells Harold that Audrey probably needs to see a doctor. Audrey starts whining really loudly as she loses the argument with the lamp. Harold suggests that perhaps a team of doctors needs to see Audrey.
1:25 pm – Manilow gets completely frustrated with Aaron, and leaves. Aaron says, “Yeah, OK. I’ll get back to you about that. I have someone here that wants to talk to me. Goodbye.” Aaron takes out his earphone that was plugged into his cell phone and wonders where Manilow went.
1:27 pm – Audrey is loaded onto an ambulance, and it heads out for the hospital. The driver in the ambulance decides to turn off the siren, since Audrey’s crying is drowning it out.
1:28 pm – As the Yoders arrive at the small village square, a young man runs up to the buggy and hands Douglas a ticket. He tells him that when they’re done, all they have to do is show them the ticket, and someone will bring their buggy back around. The young man drives off with the buggy.
1:30 pm – Manilow calls Hollywood to tell the good news about seeing Marwan. Manilow relates the story about trying to tell the acting president what’s going on. Manilow says that he strongly suspects that if he can lead the charge to stop Marwan, he just might get to be president again. Hollywood completely freaks out at this news. He in no way wants to see Manilow as President again after yesterday’s performance. Hollywood says that he’s the one that brought Marwan back, and if anything happens to his plan, Manilow is going to pay for it. Manilow jokes that he has a good credit rating, so this should be no problem. After hanging up, Manilow realizes what Hollywood really meant.
1:33 pm – The ambulance that Audrey is riding in is swerving in and out of traffic, and finally crashes into a light pole. Audrey’s loud crying made the driver and both attendants pass out. Audrey walks out of the back of the ambulance completely unharmed.
1:35 pm – The Yoders and Jack are making their way through tourists, and pass a parade. Much to the annoyance of everyone, a cell phone goes off and a man starts talking really loudly while the parade continues. Several people try to get him to leave the area, but he ignores them.
1:36 pm – We see Marwan leave the warehouse where he had his meeting, and he drives off, just as we see Audrey walk by. They don’t notice each other. Audrey is now wandering the streets of perhaps the vilest part of town. A part of town where people assume other identities and no one thinks anything of it. A part of town where people are used and abused every day… that’s right…. She’s in Hollywood.
1:37 pm – Chloe and Curtis are back in the jet, and call CTU to find out if there is any further information about Jack. Bill answers the phone, and punches a few keys on his computer. Bill tells them that Jack probably is not in Indiana, but appears to be somewhere in central Illinois, given the trajectory of RoboEdgar when they last had them on radio. Chloe recommends that Bill order Harold to the Remedial Agent Tracking class. Bill gives them an approximate area where Jack and RoboEdgar are likely to be.
They take off in the plane.
1:40 pm – The Yoders bring Jack into a small house where the doctor is sending off a tourist with a head wrap made from opossum fur, brown paper, and vegetable oil. The doctor tells the man that it should hold until he gets to a “city-fied” doctor. The doctor, Johan Strudel, sees the Yoders and Jack arrive, and welcomes them into the house.
1:44 pm – Chloe and Curtis land outside of Arcola, Illinois. Curtis admits to Chloe that all the wide open space without any buildings is freaking him out a little. Chloe tells Curtis that if it would make him feel better, he could go put down a perimeter. Curtis looks absolutely overjoyed at the prospect of setting up the world’s largest perimeter. Off in the distance, we can see some sort of parade going on. Chloe starts heading for the parade.
1:46 pm – Johan looks both ways to make sure no one else is around and closes the front door. He asks about Jack. They tell the doctor they found Jack in the field. Johan asks Jack what happened. Jack explains that he fell about 4999 feet and everything was fine. It was that very last foot that really, really hurt. Johan asks Jack if he knows his name, and Jack replies that the doctor is a “big silly” if the doctor doesn’t know his own name. The doctor says that he wants to know if Jack knows who he is. Jack says that he’s “Jack Bauer”. Johan turns pale.
1:49 pm – The doctor asks the Yoders if they realize who this is, and Douglas tells him that they do, and that’s why they brought Jack to the doctor. The doctor hits a button that’s hidden behind a picture and a portion of the wooden floor rises up, revealing a staircase. They all head down the staircase.
1:51 pm – Chloe reaches town, where she meets up with Curtis who looks greatly relieved to have been able to set down a perimeter after not doing so for so many hours.
1:52 pm – The basement in the doctor’s office is actually a sophisticated communications center, with many state-of-the-art computers, many television screens, and a cabinet with guns and ammunition. Johan leads them to a room off of the main communications area, and goes to a cabinet. He pulls out a vial and a syringe, and injects Jack with something. Jack passes out.
1:56 pm – As Chloe and Curtis get to the central part of town, they stop to watch the parade. The parade consists of a small marching band, a float, and a really long line of men, three across, all pushing lawn mowers. The sign they’re carrying says “Lawn Rangers”. There must be over sixty guys pushing lawn mowers. They all suddenly stop and start doing formation patterns, all while pushing lawn mowers. Chloe tells Curtis that this is all vaguely familiar, and Curtis admits he was thinking the same thing.
1:58 pm – Chloe notices a jet plane flying toward them, and tells Curtis. Curtis thinks that it’s really strange that a single jumbo jet would be flying so low to the ground.
1:59 pm – From across the town square, Jack bursts out of the doctor’s office, shoots the cell phone out of the hand of the guy who wouldn’t shut up, and tells everyone to get down immediately. Jack runs to Chloe and Curtis and yells, “Lawn Rangers! This is a John Deere Priority One Alert!” All the guys with lawn mowers form a circle around Jack, Chloe and Curtis just as RoboEdgar, face covered with pizza sauce, lands about 100 feet away from them, and his hands have changed into guns!
2:00 pm – Time’s up!