Last time on “24”, we saw that: Bill went to visit Edgar; The White House has no emergency backup power generator if the lights go out; Hospitals with important patients don’t have very high security; If Jack tells you not to move, you shouldn’t move; If you offer Olivia a job, chances are pretty good she’ll turn on you; Jack will go limp if you feed him an Alka-Seltzer, but can revive so quickly that he’ll jump through a ceiling to follow a bad guy.
9:00 pm – Jack runs to hide from the police, and happens to find a car old enough that he can smash through it with his elbow. He breaks out his laptop, which happens to be a Mac, which in 24 is traditionally the good guy computer.
9:01 pm – Morris is being tortured at FBI headquarters! Oh, wait, he’s talking to Janis – it’s worse than torture! Morris is trying to find out where Chloe is, and after going ’round and ’round, Janis finally tells him that Chloe is under arrest. Janis tells Morris to wait in the conference room.
9:02 pm – Larry calls Janis, who appears to have taken over Renee’s role. Renee is busy talking to the FBI human resources guy, who tries to go over the FBI policy of cutting down to only shooting three people a day, now that she’s on suspension. Renee listens in to Janis’ conversation, and it’s pretty much a recap of what we already know from last hour, which is Burnett is dead, and Jack took off. Janis recaps this again to Renee, just in case any of the viewers dozed off while it was explained the first time.
9:05 pm – Jack uses his super-Jack powers to drive, work on the computer, find the bad guy, send e-mail, and do promotional advertising using a well-known cell phone company that rhymes with Splint. He calls Renee to ask her to ID the guy Jack is looking for. She does some serious acting, which for her is staring off into space. Jack almost hangs up on her, but she finally agrees to help him ID the bad guy.
9:06 pm – Meanwhile Quinn, the guy Jack is looking for, is listening in on a police radio to find out if there are any episodes of “COPS” being filmed in the area. He happens to hear that the FBI is looking for Jack, so he calls Jonas to let him know that 1) Jack got away, and 2) Jack is an impressive operative. Jonas agrees that Jack is impressive, and is a bit worried that Jack is so impressive it could be trouble for them.
Greg, Jonas’ assistant, states the obvious, and says that Jack might be trouble for them. Jonas thinks that once “the weapons” will be deployed, Jack won’t matter. He then goes on a tirade about it being necessary to kill a lot of people but that “the loss of one soul is tragic to me”, which indicates he might be very delusional, or the devil, or both. I’m leaning towards delusional, because he then tells Greg to wake up a bunch of people because they’re going to have a sleepover.
9:08 pm – Renee finds Quinn’s information, and calls Jack, telling him that Quinn is working for Starkwood, a private army company. Renee thinks that Senator Red Foreman knows all about Starkwood and what they’ve been up to, so Jack’s going to talk to him.
9:09 pm – Larry shows up at the FBI, and asks Janis a question which he promptly ignores. He walks in to find Renee working on her computer. She says she was just finishing up a game of Minesweeper. Larry doesn’t see this, and instead talks to her about Jack.
Larry walks out with a dumb look on his face, but it turns out he was just thinking. Somehow he knows, probably by reading in the script, that Renee talked to Jack. He tells Janis to do “some of that computer stuff” to find out what Renee has been up to . He wants to use Renee as bait to catch Jack. Janis goes along with this, despite her concern that putting Renee on a hook with a fishing pole will be a dead giveaway.
9:16 pm – Mrs. President is already relaxing watching her television in the Oval Office, while one of her speech writers is working hard. Olivia wants to spin the whole Juma incident into a great PR campaign, and Mrs. President agrees. Ethan comes in the door, despite Olivia giving him the evil eye. Ethan put on his evil eye repellent this morning, so this has no effect on him.
Ethan tells Mrs. President what Jack has suspected – that there are still people around that helped Juma. He tells her what happened at the hospital, and that he thinks Jack made the whole thing up, since all the evidence about Jack so far points AWAY from Jack. Ethan says he did this to protect the president, and Olivia starts kibitzing from the peanut gallery. Mrs. President tells her not to be snotty.
Ethan tells her that the FBI is devoting their full resources to finding Jack. Since this involves Janis in some way, chances are slim they’re catch Jack.
9:18 pm – Renee hands in her badge and gun to the FBI human resources guy. Janis jumps into surveillance mode by staring right at Renee in a completely obvious way, and talking into her headset. Renee leaves the room. Larry catches up to her, and wants to know where Jack is. She refuses to cooperate, so he has her arrested.
9:20 pm – Senator Red Foreman arrives at home to find that someone has involved him in a game of “Goldilocks and The Three Bears” – someone’s been using his computer, and it was just right! He looks around, and sees Jack. The Senator says that he knows what happened at the hospital, and that Jack isn’t going to be able to kill him all that easily. Jack correctly points out that 1) he would already be dead, and 2) all it would take is Jack’s little finger.
Jack is convinced that Starkwood is involved, and Senator Foreman doesn’t believe him. The Senator is completely convinced he’s right, because they’ve had “investigations and everything”.
9:29 pm – More Mrs. President hugs, this time for Olivia. She goes out to talk to everyone in the press, who give her a standing ovation, even that ancient woman in the front row. During her speech, a reporter grabs Ethan. The reporter tells Ethan just about everything that happened within the last hour, which makes him the third or fourth person that has gone over that same story within the last half an hour. Ethan denies the whole thing, and then goes straight to Olivia. They argue about leaking to the press, and Olivia turns out to be quite a bit more rotten then we’ve previously suspected, since she doesn’t seem to have a problem with throwing just about anyone under the bus. She just wants to get “even” with Ethan for pointing out that she’s probably not the best person to be advising Mrs. President.
9:31 pm – Larry’s on the phone with someone who’s already looking for Jack somewhere in the northeast, which is a lot farther away than even Jack can get in 30 minutes, even if he was delivering pizzas. Janis walks in to tell him that Renee used some really high level encryption involving a combination of Blowfish, DES, RSA, rot13, and lemon juice. She says she can’t decrypt it, but Chloe probably can. Instead, Larry goes to see Morris, who could also probably decrypt it.
Larry and Janis explain the situation. Morris finds the whole thing hard to believe: Janis is actually working for the FBI. He also thinks that Jack wouldn’t have done what they’re accusing him of. He finally agrees to do the decryption for full immunity for Chloe, nothing on her record, and a large cherry slushie. Larry agrees. Morris then makes the huge mistake of telling Janis that she’s a witness. She responds, “What kind? Jehovah?” He ignores this as he gets to work. Hours of work for Janis, turns out to be seconds of work for Morris – they now know that Jack was headed to visit Senator Red Foreman.
9:41 pm – Janis tells Larry that they can’t reach the Senator. She’s pretty sure it’s Jack because they phone they tried to reach the Senator with has been tasered. Larry leaves with a team. Janis walks back to her desk giving orders into her empty hand, when she realizes she left her Bluetooth headset on her desk. She hopes that nobody noticed her doing this.
9:42 pm – Chloe starts to complain to Morris that he shouldn’t have helped that FBI. She’s really mad and points out that a large squad of FBI agents going after Jack isn’t going to be a good thing – for Jack, or them.
9:43 pm – Senator Foreman asks Jack if he has any regrets. Jack sings, (to: “My Way”)
“Regrets, I’ve had a few;
But then again, I got to shoot spies;
I did what I had to do,
and I also got to shoot thighs!
I planned each sneak attack,
Each careful drive along the highway,
But more, much more than this,
I shot them my way!”
9:44 pm – Senator Foreman tries to pretend to understand what Jack has been through. While he does this, Jack finds a picture of a car accident – with Quinn in it! At first Senator Foreman doesn’t believe there was a connection, but Jack quickly (even by “24” standards) puts the pieces together: Juma had a WMD that he used against his own people, and Starkwood probably helped him get it. The Senator finds it hard to believe that Juma had a Wild Martian Daiquiri. Jack tells him he means, “weapon of mass destruction” – a bioweapon. Jack thinks they intend to use it.
Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. It’s Metro PD! Senator Foreman thinks this might be a setup for another reference to an old Saturday Night Live joke which has been done here before, but Jack believes it’s really the police.. The Senator FINALLY realizes that Jack might be on to something, and promises to help Jack. Jack doesn’t want to trust him, but he does. The Senator goes to the door, and it turns out that it isn’t Metro PD after all – It’s Quinn! He hands the Senator some bullets; well, not so much hands as shoots. Senator Foreman is dead! Jack crashes through a window, and escapes before Quinn can hand him some bullets too. Quinn chases after Jack, while the real Metro PD – the ones that don’t assassinate senators, drives by.
9:53 pm – Olivia enters the Oval Office where Mrs. President and Ethan are waiting. Mrs. President confronts her with the press leak, and wants to hear what Olivia has to say about it. She tells them both that the press probably found out about this from reading a blog from a famous humor writer whose name rhymes with “Brave Dairy”. She says that it also might be a leak from inside the federal marshall’s office. Olivia got the producer to drop everything by getting him to agree to an exclusive interview with Mrs. President and a shiny nickel. Ethan apologizes, but Olivia just gives him another one of her evil eyes. That one doesn’t work this time either.
9:55 pm – Jack runs back and forth, killing a little more time until the end of the hour. He climbs a fence. Meanwhile, Quinn is still running around looking for Jack. Quinn gets mad at a lock, and shoots it. (Jack would have tasered it). Quinn goes into a building, and shoots everything inside just in case Jack is hiding. Jack, of course is WAY ahead of Quinn and uses bulldozer to knock over the whole building! There’s a big fight. Jack plays with him for a while, and then throws a knife in Quinn’s chest with a follow-up slam in the chest with a two by four. Jack asks when the weapon is coming. Quinn tells him that it is already here, and dies. Jack grabs Quinn’s cell phone and finds a text message that says “Port of Alexandria. Yard C. 2230”. Jack guesses that they’re not taking about Egypt, and uses his phone to call someone.
Larry finds Senator Red is dead, and orders Jack to be shot on sight, which is better than shooting people blindly.
Jack’s calls Tony. He tells Tony to meet him at the Port of Alexandria. Jack drives off, taking off a bit of aggression against a defenseless fence.
10:00 pm – Time’s up!
NEXT TIME ON “24”: ETHAN RESIGNS! SHOOTING! TRUCKS! HELICOPTERS! TONY! JACK! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!