If you’re new to the blog, here’s what’s going on:
Each week that “24” airs, Dave Barry hosts a “live blog” of what’s happening on the show. Dave and the readers of the blog post funny comments about things they see in the show. While this is going on, I write a summary of the show with all my comments. I post that over on Dave’s blog, and here on my own.
Hope you like this week’s summary!
Previously on “24”: Tony found a new way to use a shower curtain and he will use it, in case the canister doesn’t work out; Olivia continued to think that just because her mom is President, her opinion actually counts for something; Chloe came back to fix the computers that Janis can’t figure out; Jack yelled at Janis which made millions of people really happy, but from the look on her face, none of what Jack said sank into her thick skull.
4:00 am – At the Pakistani home, Tony and his evil woman have broken in, and finally got their free Internet access. They also uploaded a lot of propaganda to the Jibraan’s computers, trying to make it look like he spends way, way too much time on Facebook, and to make him look like a terrorist.
Tony wants Jibraan to read a statement to a camera, which Jibraan is hesitant to do because it declares that his favorite website is Geocities. He’s pretty upset about it.
4:05 am – At FBI, Chloe tells Jack that they’ve gone through everything on Twitter, and have seen no mention of an attack anywhere in the DC area. Jack wants to expand this to Muslim extremists since Jonas Hodges said he was going to use them as a cover. When Janice objects, Jack asks if she has a better idea. Janice suggests they look at everyone that isn’t an extremist, and then when they have all of them eliminated, look at everyone who’s left over. Jack thinks it would be quicker if they did things his way, and Janice finally agrees.
Jack has a brief memory lapse and walks away. This surprises Chloe, since Jack can recite nearly as many digits of PI as she can. She confronts Janice and Renee, who tell him that Jack got the wrong end of the deadly gas, and Jack exposed himself.
Chloe’s pretty upset, and confronts Jack, telling him that he needs to be at the hospital. Jack says that it would make for a much more boring show if he did that. Chloe makes a very, very sad face. Sadder even than when Edgar died. Jack tells her that they need to find Tony, and she’s the only one that can help him, other than everyone else in the FBI.
4:10 am – Tony and the woman are working with Jibraan to get everything video-taped for YouTube, when the police arrive, asking about some yelling, screaming and duct-taping some neighbors overheard. The police leave after Jibraan distracts them with the address for an all-night donut shop and a coupon.
Tony tells Jibraan he has to finish the video, because if they want it to go viral, they’re going to need it uploaded soon.
4:17 am – Chloe discovers the fake multiple deposits that Tony set up to frame Jibraan, but doesn’t realize it’s fake even though some of the pictures they download have LOLcats in the background. They’re pretty sure the address they have for him is fake, because it’s the address for the Hannah Montana fan club. Chloe finds another contact who might know where Jibraan is, so Jack heads off after him with Renee.
4:18 am – At the White House, Martin Collier shows up in Olivia’s office. Olivia tells Martin that Jonas is behind everything, including the attack on the White House, the planes going down, and also much of the Swine Flu that’s spreading throughout the country. Also, Hodges is alive, and heading to witness protection. Martin tries to convince Olivia not to go through with all this, and Olivia decides she’s not so much interested in anything except vengeance against Jonas. She wants Jonas dead. Martin finally agrees, and then leaves.
4:20 am – Janice arrives at Jonas’ room with US Marshall Sullivan, to take him to witness protection and for an ice cream on the way. Sullivan gives Jonas a packet, which says that Jonas’ new identity is Engelbert Mahebadop. Jonas protests, and says that he likes dogs, and Robert Tippett sounds more like a dog breed, so he’s going to go with that. Sullivan tells him they’re off to a super secret witness protection facility in Colorado, which will be convenient since there’s a Dairy Queen right next door to it, and they can kill two birds with one stone.
4:28 am – Jack and Renee arrive at Jibraan’s friend – Gohar. He recognizes Jack from all the previous seasons of “24”, and the Lost Boys movie. He lets them both in.
Renee tells Gohar they’re looking for Jibraan, and that he might be part of a terrorist attack so secret that even he didn’t know about it himself. Gohar is pretty upset about this, and gets into a shouting match with Jack. They get really close to each other and they try and make each other pass out with their respective morning breath, but it doesn’t work on either of them.
Janice calls Renee to say “Hi”, and that she knows where Jibraan lives because of the domestic disturbance call from just a few minutes ago. Jack decides to take Gohar along for the ride, because he’s pretty sure Gohar would call Jibraan, and it would ruin Jack’s surprise visit.
4:33 am – Back at Jibraan’s apartment, they check over the video some more. Jibraan has given a speech so dead pan he makes Steven Wright look like Rip Taylor. Tony tells him that they’re getting ready to move out, and that he needs to talk to his brother. Jibraan is supposed to tell his brother that he’s really a terrorist, he’s been working with Tony for a long time, and he’s really the voice of SpongeBob. He tries to convince him by giving him the next three plots for what antics he and Patrick will have, but his brother still doesn’t seem convinced.
They all leave.
4:40 am – Olivia calls the person who she’s paying to kill Jonas. He gives her the account number 4-8-15-16-23-42, which she uses to access a hired killer website called “You Point, We Shoot”. Aaron interrupts, telling her that her father has been moved to the White House, since being in a hospital would be a terrible place for him right now, seeing that he’s sick and all. Olivia goes back to transfer the money, realizes that pressing the “Execute” button on the transaction has very heavy-handed symbolism, and decides to press “Cancel” instead. She calls Martin to tell him she was just kidding about the whole “killing Jonas” thing, leaves a message saying this, and asks him to call her back.
4:42 am – Chloe calls Jack to tell him that there is something funny about the transactions she found in Jibraan’s account. Jack asks “Funny – Weird” or “Funny – Ha Ha?” Chloe says, “Funny – Weird”, and informs him that all the deposits were made with Better Crocker coupon points, and they were all backdated – the real information was planted 30 minutes ago. Jack realizes they were about to make a serious mistake.
Gohar is surprised Jack admitted that he was wrong, forgives him, and tells him that it’s never too late to turn to God. Jack doesn’t look like he’s going to decide to become a priest any time soon.
4:44 am – Mrs. President and the First Mister visit when Olivia arrives. They’re about as unaware about what Olivia is up to as Gregory Peck and Lee Remick. Olivia tells them that she finally understands what Mrs. President had to decide.
4:45 am – Jonas looks through his wallet at the photographs of his family, which Sullivan confiscates. Sullivan wheels him out to an SUV and goes to get paperwork signed by a nearby guard. Jonas pulls out a photo he hid away from Sullivan. Unfortunately for Jonas, it happened to be the explosive photo he kept in his wallet for emergencies. The SUV he is in explodes.
4:53 am – Agent Woods is WAY behind what’s going on with Renee and Jack’s pursuit of Tony and Jibraan, but does get a phone call about Jonas’ SUV blowing up. Woods is worried he accidentally used one of the explosive SUVs, and that this whole thing is an inside job. Olivia gets a phone call, which she leaves the room to take.
Olivia completely freaks out, and Martin tells her to quit giving evidence against herself over the phone. She agrees to meet him in a nearby park soon.
4:55 am – Jack and Renee arrive at Jibraan’s home, and see that Hamid, Jibraan’s brother, is being held hostage, and is being forced to watch “The Truth About Cats And Dogs” with someone who looks remarkably like Janice… so this is real torture.
They storm the room and send in a canister of gas, which is completely ineffective. What is a lot more effective is the mirror that Hamid smashes. He takes a shard and stabs the guy who was holding him hostage right in the neck, for making him watch that horrible, horrible movie. Jack tells Hamid they need that guy alive if they expect to find Jibraan. They try and save him while he continues to lose blood.
4:59 am – In a secret van, Tony’s IT guys tell him it’s going to be 10 or 15 minutes before they can schedule the next explosion – which we see is going to be in a subway! The kind you ride, not the kind you eat.
5:00 am – Time’s up!
NEXT TIME ON “24”: PLANTED CANISTERS! JACK QUESTIONS! POOFING GAS! JACK HAS A GUN ON TONY! THREE HOURS LEFT! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!