Previously on “24” – JUST HAPPENED! PAY ATTENTION!
3:00 pm – Suvarov makes a heartfelt speech about the peace agreement. Dahlia gives him a look at that makes it seems she’d like to feel his heart personally. Suvarov notices that Dahlia isn’t her normal, chipper self. Mrs. President tells him that they’ve all been awake for more than 23 hours now, and that really wears on a person.
Suvarov realizes this is a lie, questions Mrs. President about this. She tells him all about Meredith. Suvarov says that he thinks Mrs. President must have threatened to pull America Idol off the air before the final show, because Dahlia is still at the negotiating table.
His assistant interrupts to tell him Logan is calling. Suvarov rolls his eyes as if to say “Not THIS guy again!”, but takes the call. Logan insists on talking to him in person in his suite. Suvarov doesn’t like this idea until Logan tells him that someone has either sprung a leak, or taken a leak, and it’s in his delegation. Suvarov adjusts his Depends, and hoping to keep his secret, agrees to see Logan.
Logan talks to Jack, while contemplating how he fell for the old “Never Be A President On 24 And Stand In Front Of A Big Glass Window” trick. Jack tells Logan to sit down.
Chloe wakes up and tries to convince Jack that if CTU comes up, there will likely be a lot of shooting, and she’s really hoping to be on any “24” movies that might come along in the next few years.
Meanwhile, Logan sits at his desk, his arms outstretched, trying to do his best Richard Nixon impression.
Chloe’s phone doesn’t answer. Cole paces back and forth, wondering what to do in a very Billy Rosewood sort of way. Cole finally makes a call to the tactical team, and tells them to go after Jack!
3:05 pm – Chloe continues to try to talk Jack out of shooting anyone. She finally tells him that Renee wouldn’t want Jack dishonoring her memory by shooting Suvarov.
Suvarov enters the room with Logan. Logan doesn’t say a thing, which for once, you’d think Suvarov would like. Suvarov doesn’t understand why Logan isn’t saying anything, and asks if he’s on Candid Camera.
Chloe’s arguments finally get through to Jack, who makes her promise that no matter what happens, she’ll be a reference for him on his next acting job. She agrees.
Logan covers up his allegations with Suvarov. Suvarov calls him a dipstick in Russian, and leaves. Logan practically runs out of the room.
3:08 pm – Jack gives Chloe a gun, and orders her to shoot him. They argue back and forth until Jack points the gun at his own head. She starts to laugh, and Jack says that this all sounds like a setup for a bad joke. Jack yells a lot and Chloe finally shoots him. He goes down like a Sack of Jack.
The tactical team breaks into the room. One of the agents asks what happened. Chloe tells him that Jack pulled a gun on her, and she shot him first. The agent, not realizing how ridiculous this is, believes her.
3:15 pm – Cole gets a call from Chloe. She tells him that Jack gave her a bloody SIM card and that they need to get a bloody SIM card reader to upload the information to Arlo so they can post it on the internet as soon as possible. She informs Cole that EMTs are working on Jack. Cole tells her that he’s worried about the computers in the area, and she tells him EM*T* not EM*P*. Jack is on a gurney. She sees that Jack is barely awake, which for normal people is on full alert.
Chloe starts to go downstairs to hand the SIM card off when she’s confronted by the same agent that believed her story before. He tells her that Jason wants to talk to her. She tries to blow this off, but the agent is very, very insistent that she be held there. So insistent in fact, that it appears he just wants to spend more time with her. He threatens to call the White House. That finally convinces Chloe that she’d rather take her chances with Jason.
3:17 pm – Chloe goes to another room, where Jack has been wheeled. She sees Jack still making winking and blinking signs at her, but she isn’t able to read the Morse Code in time before Jason arrives. Jason flashes his high school medal again, and people get out of his way, as usual.
Jason’s on the phone with Logan. Logan explains that Jack has somehow, probably using some new-fangled “giant record player technology”, recorded everything Logan has been saying for the last couple of hours, minus all the whining, which would then total 30 seconds. But that 30 seconds was the part that implicated everyone and their mother in the death of Hasan. Logan reminds Jason that he’s on the hook for everything that’s been going on too, so it’s really important they get that recording from Jack. Jason promises to get the recording.
Jason enters the room where Jack is, and sees the phone Jack was using. He also gets his own phone back. He realizes that the phone is much too tiny to hold the giant record Logan was babbling about, so it must be that SIM card technology he’s heard so much about. Except that it’s missing. Not aware of the recent development in Russian Mobster SIM Card Holder technology, Jason doesn’t realize the card might have been swallowed, so he orders the agents to continue to search the area for the card.
Jason asks Chloe what happened. Chloe tells him that she shot Jack before he had the chance to shoot her, and HE BELIEVES IT TOO! Jason tells her that Jack had a data card, and that he’s going to search her for it. Jason searches Chloe, which ordinarily would have resulted in about a billion taser hits, but since she wants to get the heck out of there, she lets him search her. He doesn’t find anything. She tell him that she hopes he got his jollies doing that. Jack is awake enough to witness this, but doesn’t spring into action yet. He continues to gather as much oxygen as he can (through the mask the EMTs put on him), just in case he has to hold his breath for several hours.
Chloe leaves, and replaces the data card into her handset.
3:20 pm – Jack wakes up a bit, and Jason starts to question him about the data card. Jack continues to act dazed. Jason says that he’s headed down to the mobile CTU facility to find out about that SIM. Jack realizes he needs to buy Chloe some time so he starts mumbling things about pushing the button and how he wish people believed him. Jack acts like he wants to tell Jason something, and beckons him over. Jason leans down, and that’s when Jack decides to follow McGruff’s advice and he takes a bite out of crime. Also a bite out of Jason’s ear.
Jason screams. Jack spits out Jason pieces, which were about as bitter as Jack expected. Jason orders people to go after Chloe.
Chloe starts to upload the data to CTU when agents enter the room to stop her. Cole tries to interrupt them by telling them he was a star in the Scooby Doo movie, and that he’d be happy to sign autographs. That doesn’t go over very well.
They pull the plug on Chloe’s transmission just as it was ending. The agent, Burke, calls Jason to tell him he has the SIM card. Jason orders fries, a milk shake, and Cole and Chloe taken to CTU lockdown. He also orders Burke to take the SIM card to ex-President Logan.
3:30 pm – Logan goes in to see Mrs. President. He gives her the SIM card which was already delivered to him via Federal Agent Express.
Logan tells Mrs. President that Chloe was attempting to upload to all the message boards and internet chat rooms that she could, but she was stopped. Mrs. President wants to know where Jack is.
Logan tells her that Jack is currently being transported by heavy guards. Or under heavy guard. Something like that. Logan points out that Jack Bauer being alive is a big problem. No matter where Jack ends up, he’ll come after them all.
Logan tells her that he’s got a plan to get rid of Jack, and since she hasn’t said anything, he’ll take that as approval of what happened. What he doesn’t realize is the reason she’s silent is that she’s trying hard not to throw up while listening to him babble. Logan leaves to carry out his plan.
3:32 pm – Mrs. President puts the card into her computer, and starts to listen to Jack’s recording to Kim and to the world about what’s happened. She takes a phone call about the peace treaty, which is just about to happen, followed by cake and cookies.
She listens to the rest of Jack’s recording in which he says that a peace obtained the way they’ve done it won’t last. She seems to take this to heart. It could also be residual queasiness from talking to Logan.
3:35 pm – Jason tells Logan that Jack is being “taken care of”. Logan tells Jason he did a good job. Jason says, “What? What??” Logan tells him again, this time in his non-eaten ear.
Mrs. President leaves her room, in time to hear Logan say, “Good luck, Madam President”. She rushes to the elevator so she doesn’t throw up for real this time.
3:37 pm – Back in Logan’s suite, he and Jason start to celebrate their good fortune of getting away from Jack Bauer, alive. Jason resembles a half-Vorta with that bandage on his head, but that doesn’t seem to bother him. Logan seems to think he’s got some political capital with Mrs. President now.
3:39 pm – Down in the signing room, it’s Dahlia’s turn to look like she’s going to throw up. She really doesn’t want to be there.
Mrs. President, and there’s applause, because the show is nearly over, and they can get on to other acting jobs.
The UN leader makes a speech that most people don’t pay attention to, simply out of habit. Suvarov signs, then Dahlia. Mrs. President goes to sign the treaty, but can’t bring herself to do it, much to everyone’s surprise. Suvarov realizes what is about to happen, and tries to stop her by offering her some vodka. It doesn’t work.
Mrs. President goes to the podium and tells them all that she’s not going to sign because there have been some bad things happening today. Mostly the acting.
She leaves the room and orders Tim to make a call to Jack’s medical transport before someone ambushes it.
3:41 pm – It turns out that either someone ambushed Jack’s medical transport, or Jack ambushed it himself, because it’s now sitting on it’s side acting more like a giant medical paperweight. Jack drags himself out of the truck, only to be surrounded by three men.
Tim gets the call… they didn’t get to Jack in time. He’s been taken. Mrs. President lets out a grunt. (That’s some fancy acting!)
3:42 pm – The UN leader appears in the press room at the UN, and makes a speech about how he’s still completely relevant, despite what just happened. Also, Mrs. President didn’t sign the treaty.
Logan sees his on television and wets himself. The phone in Logan’s suite rings. He and Jason don’t answer right away. Jason points out that no matter what happens, they’re in deep doo doo.
Logan finally agrees and tells Jason to answer the phone. Jason picks up the phone and tries to disguise his voice, saying “Wrong number!”, but they’re on to him. While Jason is doing this, Logan picks up a heavy decanter and smashes Jason in the back of the head! Then he grabs Jason’s gun and a pillow and shoots the pillow! He realizes too late that Jason’s head was under the pillow, so now Jason’s dead.
Mrs. President and the Agents (which would make a good name for a rock band) are about the break down the door when they hear a gunshot. As Mrs. President is escorted away she yells to Agent Tim, “I need Logan alive!”
3:51 pm – EMTs are already working on Logan when Mrs. President walks into the room. Agent Tim explains that even if Logan recovers it is likely he’ll have suffered brain damage. She looks perplexed, and he goes on to explain that he means “even more brain damage than before”.
She orders Chloe and Cole released, but Tim already released them. Chloe, in her first order of business is to arrest Eden, Jason’s ex-chort, which she seems to take great relish.
Only Arlo, Chloe and Cole are left at CTU, since they ordered everyone else out. They continue to try and watch for Jack.
They find him on New York’s extensive camera network within three seconds.
3:55 pm – Jack is ordered to his knees. The guy who is about to shoot Jack tells him it’s going to be quick and clean. Jack doesn’t see it that way… Jack tries to take him out with both hands tied behind his back. Jack is just about to be shot when the phone rings. It’s Mrs. President. She orders them to stop trying to kill Jack. They leave before Jack kills them all by looking at them with his Jack Vision.
Mrs. President tells Jack that she told everyone what happened today, and she’s about to resign. Jack tells her that she’s really only going to be president for a couple more minutes, because the series is nearly over.
She tells him that he better leave, because the Russians are going to be after him and so will the US. She apologizes to Jack and hangs up. If Jack was feeling better he would have been mad about being hung up on.
3:59 pm – Jack calls Chloe to make her promise that Kim and her family are kept safe. He thanks Chloe for watching his back all these years. Chloe cries, and tells Arlo to return the drone to base. Her final words: “Shut it down”.
4:00 pm – TIME’S UP!
That’s it. The end of “24”.
I want to thank everyone who read these summaries. I hope you enjoyed them as much as I enjoyed writing them. Thanks to my friend John who took a look at nearly all of the summaries I posted (even the two fake seasons I wrote) and fixed many mistakes I made while writing.
Thanks most of all to Dave, for playing along all this time with all this “24” summary stuff I’ve been posting on his blog, http://blogs.herald.com/
It’s been a lot of fun.
9 thoughts on “Season 8 – 24 – 3pm to 4pm”
Thank *you* for these summaries, which in many cases were far more entertaining than the show itself! (ohmagawd, que sacrilegio) I will miss them, but can’t wait to see what you’ll tackle next…
Yes, thanks for all the amusement over the years. These were a part of many-a Tuesday morning!
I’m still trying to figure out how I got hooked on this series. I’ve never seen anything so outlandish, ridiculous, and impossible on the one hand and so addictive on the other. In any case, I will miss your wonderful summaries. Which show will you tackle next?
I wish I had found this 9 years ago. I’ve been laughing at my desk hysterically. The pillow part was hilarious.
Thank you. I’ll read some of the post reviews now to relive the magic. lol
Thank you so much for sharing your hilarious impressions of #24. I’d used myself coming here right after watching the episode, just to read your summaries and have a good laugh. I’m going to miss them 😉
(Any chance we’ll be able to read about the fake seasons? =P)
No idea what I’m going to tackle next. We’ll see!
Renata, you can view the first fake 24 season here, and the second fake 24 season here.
I really did the first season as a spur of the moment thing (there’s a good story to that which is at the first fake season link. The second season was almost planned. Sorta.
It’s not high literature, so …be warned!
Thank you Steve. I can’t tell you how much I’ll miss these and the whole 24 stuff. It’s been great. You’ve given us all so many laughs. Best wishes.
I’ll miss your weekly summaries too. Thanks for all the laughs.
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