2 am to 3 am

2:00 am – Bill’s on the phone with Haig, and tells her that Jack’s on an airplane. She’s horrifed that Jack didn’t use his frequent stow away miles. She tells Bill that Chloe needs to contact her after she leaves.

2:01 am – Really slow homeland security guys walk up to Bill’s house. They look behind the TV briefly, move a keyboard, and in all of five seconds, declare that Chloe is not here. They were obviously expecting her to be dressed as a personal computer, like she was last Halloween. One of them notices that Bill’s Commodore 64 has a MAJOR upgrade, and that only Chloe could have done it.

2:04 – Creepy says he’ll make it really bad for Bill if he doesn’t tell him where Chloe is. Bill points out that Chloe was able to walk right out of CTU after pickpocketing Creepy’s id, his cell phone, and his underwear. I think he’s threatening that he’ll talk to Bill even more than he already has… Bill looks a little creeped out by that, but refuses to talk. Haig tells Secret Agent Ed to bring him in. Creepy doesn’t like how Haig is handling things.

2:06 – Chloe walks into a hotel bar with really bad lounge music, figuring that no one would bother her there. She calls Haig and asks for info about the plane.

2:07 – Chloe calls Jack, who’s on the plane, in the cargo hold with some dogs in cages. The cargo hold is quiet now, and he looks relieved that he doesn’t have to put up with any more of that yipping he’s been hearing. From Audrey, not the dogs.

2:08 – Leisure Suit Larry is hitting on women at the bar.

2:09 – Jack, who still hasn’t turned off the ringer his phone, gets a call from Chloe who tells him where the air marshal, Christopher Outt, is sitting on the plane. Jack lifts a floor tile in the back of the plane, and no one is there to see him. Jack wonders for a second what an air marshal would be doing on a diplomatic flight, but then decides to completely ignore this plot point.

2:10 – Jack grabs a seat next to the air marshal, elbows the air marshal in the HEAD, and grabs the air marshal’s peanuts. Jack really, really likes peanuts.

Commercial

2:15 – Jack STILL hasn’t turned off his phone, and gets a phone call from Chloe. She knows where the Guy Who’s Got The Recording (GWGTR) is, and Jack gets that guy to come to the back of the plane. I think this guy’s name is Mr. Unger.

2:16 – Jack closes the curtains in the back galley, which is NOT a good sign for Mr. Unger. Jack asks for Unger’s ticket stub, and then punches it. Unger passes out in a choke hold, and Jack drops him into the baggage compartment right onto a poodle, which makes a whining noise that sounds a lot like Audrey.

2:16 – Mrs. Manilow can’t find her medication. A secret service guy (who I think is a robot, because he has a telephone hookup in his ear), won’t let her.

2:17 – Mrs. Manilow calls Cheney Looking Guy and says she wants to see him. CLG looks hopeful this might be his big chance.
2:18 – Mrs. Manilow REALLY REALLY wants her medication. She starts speaking in riddles to CLG, who looks puzzled, even for this show. She convinces him to get her meds, and he leaves.

2:20 – Graham, one of Manilow’s secret guys that looks like a really uptight writer, calls Manilow to discuss the run-away episode that’s happening. He states the obvious that it would be REALLY REALLY bad if Jack got that recording, because because if Jack got it to Chloe, it would be all over the Internet like a flash, and they’d get no royalties.

2:21 – CLG goes to Manilow telling him that Mrs. Manilow is really upset, CLG presses the point, and Manilow tells him that the reason Mrs. Manilow is upset is that she’s married to a handbag. CLG completely agrees.

2:22 – Back to the cargo hold in the plane, Jack tries to find out what Unger know about Robocop.

2:23 – Leisure Suit Larry starts to bother Chloe, and offers her a drink. She calls the airport.

2:24 – Back on the plane, the stewardess tells everyone there is massive turbulence in the area. In reality, Jack is just kicking Mr. Unger’s butt all over the cargo area. The stewardess notices that someone’s missing and that the air marshal is down.

2:25 – Call to the cockpit, and the steward on the phone tells the pilot, Captain Oveur, that the air marshal has been assaulted. The pilot says “Assaulted what? Peanut?” They both groan at this horrific pun, and the Pilot asks the steward if he likes gladiator movies. They’re headed back to LA.

2:25– The air marshal discovers his badge is missing, and he immediately suspects Chloe, because he saw last episode, and knows how she grabbed Creepy’s badge.

Commercial

2:30 – CLG brings Mrs. Manilow her pills, and she unwisely drinks a few with wine, which is apparently some new medical breakthrough in pill/wine technology. CLG says that he’s getting the same feeling from the president that he’s getting from her. Mrs. Manilow looks completely disgusted by this, until he explains he means they way she’s been acting lately. Then she looks really made and explains that her acting is just what it says in the script. CLG explains that’s not what he meant either, that it’s something she’s covering up. She adjusts her sweater, and gets him to leave.

2:31 – Jack can’t find the recording. Chloe calls him and says “oops”, it can’t be Mr. Unger because he’s been checking in at the airport, going through security, having his luggage tagged, and that has taken the better part of the whole past week. Jack realizes the plane is landing, and that they’re on to him.

2:32 – Air marshal Outt is blocking Jack’s way back into the cabin, and gets the stewardess to call the pilot and tell him to “begin”. The pilot gets on the intercom, announces that this is the maiden voyage of the “Grace L. Ferguson Airline and Storm Door Company” in his best Bob Newhart impression.. The air marshal grabs the phone, and tells the pilot he meant the “other” begin.

2:33 – They’re either letting air out of the baggage area, or Mr. Unger has sprung a HUGE leak.

2:34 – Jack calls Chloe, and asks her to patch him through to the pilot using her technology and the super Jack phone. She calls Haig to ask for help.

2:34 – Leisure Suit Larry tells Chloe he knows how she can get some “free bandwidth”, and appears to sweep her off her feet. Little does this guy know that Chloe can get more bandwidth than an Internet2 connection. She tells him to sit down, and she tasers him! Go Chloe Go!

2:35 – Jack gets through to the pilot, Roger Ovuer, explains everything, and the pilot doesn’t believe him, and won’t let him back up. Jack puts the JackPhone on speaker, takes a knife, rips open the cargo hold and starts messing with the wires in the plane! It lurches really badly, and everyone on board does the Star Trek lean to prove how much the plane lurched.

2:36 – That convinces Captain Oveur. The stewardess lets Jack back up, and he tells the air marshal to go into the baggage hold. The air marshal gives him one of those “But all the other air marshals are going to make fun of me!” looks, but goes in anyway. Mr. Unger doesn’t look pleased. It appears Jack’s plan is to get everyone in the cargo hold.

2:37 – Jack gets the stewardess to move people from first class back to second class. This takes several minutes because they’re all eating gourmet dinners, getting massages, and listening to a live concert, because that’s the way first class passengers are always treated, even on “24”. One lady looks really horrified to mix with the “other passengers”.

2:39 – Jack tries to get Captain Oveur to go in a holding pattern, but Captain Oveur won’t do it. Captain Oveur then asks Jack if he’s ever been in a Turkish prison.

Commercial

2:43 – Manilow’s on the phone with someone asking about Jack’s plane, and he looks really upset. He calls Graham, explains everything, Graham disses Manilow and hangs up on him by removing his pretentious earphone from his ear…which is how you do that.

2:44 – Chloe calls Haig to let her know the situation as Bill enters CTU with two agents. Agent Ed, is nowhere to be seen. Creepy confronts Bill about Jack, but Haig interrupts and says Bill has to go into holding. Bill looks relieved she stopped him from talking to Creepy.

2:45 – Creepy calls CLG to complain about Haig. Creepy says that Bill needs to be dealt with “appropriately”, whines about what Haig is doing. CLG hangs up on him after lecturing him about tattle tailing on people, and Creepy looks really made that he won’t be able to use the interrogation room on anyone.

2:46 – Creepy goes to spy on Haig and Bill in the interrogation room, and Haig uses her LEET programming SKILLZ to cut off his access. I’m beginning to think the lady on the Video Professor commercials can get around anything Creepy does on a computer.

2:48 – Bill and Haig talk about what Jack has to do within the next 15 minutes, just as Manilow and CLG call them. Manilow wants Jack to be brought in dead or alive! He wants his secret service detail to bring him in. Both CLG and Haig look bewildered. Never has Manilow been so direct in what he wants. They’re immediately suspicious.

2:49 – CLG says this none of this makes sense, forgetting what show’s he’s on.

Commercial

2:54 – Back at the bar, Chloe tasers Larry again. Chloe figures out that the co-pilot, Scott Evans, is the guy Jack is looking for! A passenger tries to rush Jack and gets no support from his other passengers because they know what Jack can do.

2:55 – Jack’s on the phone with Captain Oveur. Captain Oveur hangs up on Jack.

2:56 – Captain Oveur makes small talk with Evans, by asking if he’s related to Bob and that he really likes those breakfast biscuits. Oveur gets up to stretch and Evans knocks him out, but not before he opens the cockpit.

2:57 – Evans hands the recording to Jack after Jack explains how bullets and guns work. Evans says he knows what Jack did to Unger. Jack says tells him that he’ll get blamed for Roger Oveur, Unger and Outt. Jack tells him to land the plane.

2:58 – Mrs. Manilow calls Manilow and she’s really drunk, or having a nervous breakdown.

2:59 – Graham calls Manilow, and tells him that Manilow has to shoot down the plane to get rid of the evidence!

3:00 – Time’s up!

Next time: Manilow wants the plane shot down! Jack wants the plane to land NOW! Star Trek lurching around!

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