Tag: humor

24: Live Another Day – Hour 7 Recap

24
PREVIOUSLY ON 24: Steve talked to his hat after he nearly exploded; Jack asked permission to take Kate out so they can go thigh shooting together; Jack then asked Kate to hang out with some of the friends he’s been around recently, but she misunderstood what “hang out” meant; Navid’s perfectly good cell phone was almost thrown away along with his body bag; The Prime Minister proved he has American instincts when it comes to trusting Jack; Rask misunderstood Kate’s request to be drilled on questions for an upcoming CIA test; Rask was so upset by this he pulled the pin on a grenade and exploded into a thousand pieces of confetti; Simone’s sister-in-law didn’t get the point, until she got the point; Simone looked like she got hit by a bus; Steve turned out to be a mole, and while I have this opportunity, I should remind people not all people named Steve are moles.

The following takes place between 5pm and 6pm:

5:00 pm – Simone is in the street being treated for her wounds after getting hit by a bus, so naturally the police continue to ride horses around right on top of her. Simone’s niece identifies her as the killer of her Mom.

Across town, Kate loses count of all the bodies they’re already taking out of the factory they just had a shoot out in, so she’s not sure who’s ahead on the scoreboard, but we think it’s Jack. Jack notices that his friend Belacheck is one of the people NOT killed during the raid, and releases him back into the wild, much to the chagrin of the MI-5 agent in charge. Chloe calls Jack to tell her the results of her “Where’s Simone” game, which turned out to be pretty easy because Simone was the only one wearing a red and white striped knit hat and matching sweater. Also, the only one that got hit by a bus.

While Chloe is on the phone, Chloe’s computer, which is always looking out for her, prints a “GET OUT OF THERE!” message. It’s clearly the computer used to win the Turing contest. She sees the police coming into the building, and gets the heck out of there, while Jack and Kate also get the heck out of where they are.

Back at the President’s office, Mark explains that a message he’s just given the president is coordinates for Margot. The President wants to know if they can trace the video stream back to her, and Mark points out that a piece of paper doesn’t have a video stream, since it is just a piece of paper.

Jack calls the President and tells him about Simone. Jack thinks Margot hasn’t figured out that Simone has been hit by a bus yet, which is a pretty good bet since Margot (for the time being) doesn’t have superpowers to allow her to find that out. The President, under the impression he can do whatever he wants in whatever country he’s in, says he’ll send someone to the hospital to guard Simone. Jack also complains that MI-5 was there, which really put a kink in his thigh shooting, since he couldn’t just shoot everyone in sight. The president says he’ll take care of that, and conveniently the Prime Minister arrives.

The Prime Minister and the President have a yelling match, complete with spit flying out of each others mouths, which is frankly yucky. The Prime Minister pulls out the “hey, tell me about your health” card. Heller says, “If you have a question about my health, you should have come and asked.” This confuses the Prime Minister since he JUST ASKED THAT. The President is really upset by this, enough to say that he’d resign from trying to sell gold to people, if that’s what it took.

The President goes on to explain that Jack has a line on Margot, but more like an idea of how to get to her, rather than something with Cartesian Coordinates. The Prime Minister promises he’ll do everything he can to help Jack.

Meanwhile, on the ambulance, the paramedics talk about all the various injuries Simone has, trying to make each other barf. They even get to the chopped off finger, but neither of them even come close to hurling. Just then, her phone rings! It’s Margot, calling from the House of Don’t Send Your Daughter Out To Kill Her Sister-In-Law Because She’ll Screw It Up. The paramedic explains that Simone challenged a bus to a fight, and lost. Margot says she’ll go to the hospital right away, and hangs up… just as the paramedic asks her name. For some reason, Simone has the only smart phone on earth that doesn’t display caller ID.

Margot, clearly upset that Simone is on her way to the hospital, tells her son, Ian, to send Karem to the hospital to see if anyone knows who Simone is. Ian looks worried that Margot may be catching Heller’s forgetfulness, but makes the call.

COMMERCIAL

5:15pm – At CIA HQ in London, Jordan is playing the ASCII game “Find the Missing Pieces” on the data file that Steve the Mole told him not to look at. He’s interrupted by a creepy guy named Gavin who stalked up behind him, to ask for some “files”.

Steve gets a phone call from “Unknown” which, in every single movie that’s ever happened, is not a good thing. Of course, Steve picks it up. It turns out it’s Husky Voice, who tells him Jordan is decrypting the files using a very recent version of Norton Utilities, so Steve better hurry before Jordan figures out the whole “Mole” thing. Husky Voice turns out to be Adrian! And Adrian really wants Steve to do something about Jordan right away.

At the hospital, Jack runs in with Kate and yells “Are you in charge?” The Agent there says no, her name is not “In Charge”, it’s Helen.

5:17pm – Helen explains that Simone can’t do much talking, being unconscious and all. Kate goes downstairs to talk to Simone’s niece, who they mistakenly name “In Shock”.

The doctor comes out and tells Jack that he won’t be able to talk to Simone, until Jack uses Jack Voice to explain that he will be able to speak with Simone and this is exactly the droid he’s looking for.

Karem shows up at the hospital, and doesn’t look the least bit suspicious looking all over the place, while he searches for a place to steal a hospital outfit.

Kate finds Jasmine, Simone’s niece, and offers her a butter beer. Jasmine explains everything that happened at her house, and sounds completely normal until she gets a sinister sound in her voice when she says that she hopes Simone dies. Kate relays this information to Jack, and tells him that since Simone was trying to warn her sister-in-law to get out of the city, there’s a good chance she could turn on her mother.

And what do you know, Karem is already finished changing clothes and just happens to overhear this whole thing. Margot gets crazy eyes when Karem tells her that Simone was trying to warn them to get out of London. She tells Ian to move a drone within range of the hospital. Ian thinking about pointing out that it’s more of a fly the drone thing, not move, but thinks better of it, when Margot tells him that Simone is not about to betray her again.

COMMERCIAL

While watching The Prime Minister Channel, Jordan gets called into Steve’s office to “pick up a package” at a houseboat. Jordan thinks this a little weird since he’s not technically a “field op” but more of a “sys op”. He’s pretty excited though, since anything would beat having Gavin sneak up on him again, so he thanks Steve and goes out into the field. He quickly returns and says he’ll head to the houseboat instead of the field, because fields don’t usually have boats in them.

At Mark’s office, he and Audrey watch The Prime Minister Channel too. We see that it has the caption “The Prime Minister Speaks”, which is apparently a new thing, so new that they have to point that out in a caption. The President enters the room and tells him that he faked his way through the whole “health” thing with the Prime Minister. He tells Audrey that it was “Arrogant, vain and stupid” to think that he could remain in office, while simultaneously pointing out that “Arrogant, vain and stupid” is Audrey’s nickname.

The President tells Mark to get the Vice President up to speed on turning over the presidency, which upsets Mark because he’s clearly been sucking up to the wrong person for a long time now.

At the Hospital, Jack looks at Simone’s chopped off finger and is clearly impressed by the blood clotting capabilities of her body. Kate entries the room as Jack wakes Simone. He asks if, since she tried to warn her sister-in-law about the London bombing, it’d just be darn swell if she would help him find Margot.

Simone doesn’t like this at all. Seems her attachment to her finger, or lack thereof, hasn’t made any difference, and she says she won’t betray Margot. Jack presses on what’s left of her finger, and asks if that’s the little finger that went “weeeeee! All the way home”. Simone says that her mother would never hurt her, it was only a flesh wound, and passes out. Kate goes out in the hallway to barf. She appears to be more upset that Jack pressed on the finger, than all the terrorists they shot less than an hour ago.

Out in the hallway, Jack immediately recognizes that a guy in the hallway, who happens to be Karem, shouldn’t be there. Helen, who is talking to a police officer, tries to get Karem to stop right there. Karem shoots! It must have been a heck of a shot too, because the police officer that Helen was just talking to completely disappears! Karem fires a few more times and runs!

Jack and Kate give a short chase, catch up to Karem just as two officers fire on him twice, killing him. Jack’s sure he’s dead because instead of just two bullet wounds, there are three, two in the chest and one in the arm and a gun by his elbow. The gun by the elbow is clearly physically impossible, unless Karem was one of those elbow sharpshooters. Jack finds Karem’s phone, and Margot has posted on Karem’s Facebook page that he has a very short time to get out of the hospital.

Jack uses his Jack Voice to tell Helen to clear the hospital because it’s about to be blown up. Kate runs off to the bathroom. Or maybe to get Jasmine. Maybe both.

COMMERCIAL

5:40 pm – Chloe’s at a place where anyone in their right mind, knowing what was about to happen, would go: a pub.

Back at Margot’s House of No Betrayals Allowed, Ian loves the fact that he spent all the time he did on Air Flight Simulator, because it makes this drone thing a LOT easier to fly. Which is a good thing, seeing how touchy Margot is being today.

At the Hospital, Jack races through while on the phone with Chloe. He runs into Simone’s room and tells her that Margot is about to blow up the place. Simone swears her Mom would never, ever do such a thing. Jack says, “Fine, you believe that? Stay here.” He drops her right there and walks off. Simone says, “Wait… by ‘never do such a thing’, I meant ‘of course she would do such a thing'”. Jack grabs her and gets her moving again.

Kate races through the hospital and can’t find Jasmine where she left her. This surprises Kate, because, for some reason, she expected a little girl to hear sirens and people evacuating the hospital to be right where she was before. Because only a really stupid kid wouldn’t leave. Well, it turns out Jasmine is a really stupid kid, because she’s just about where Kate left her. Kate grabs Jasmine and leaves.

Back at Margot’s House of the Incredible Drone Flying Gizmo, Ian is really excited to try out some of the new features in the program he’s been playing.

The hospital continues to be evacuated, while Margot and Ian launch a missile which hits the hospital. It turns out that Ian is REALLY good at the simulator. So good, in fact, that he and Margot get an image of Simone, Jack and Kate getting into Jack’s car, even though the image is in reverse black and white. This can easily be explained away by the reverse black and white images of her children that Margot has hanging up in her house.

Anyway, Margot tells Ian to fire a missile. Good thing it was one of those discount missiles without a homing mechanism too, because Jack’s car is able to get out of the way of the missile just at the last second. The explosions pretty much convince Simone that her mom is a little bit ticked off. Well, that and the horrific devastation that the missile just caused to everyone at the hospital.

Jack’s not sure where the drone is, so he drives like a maniac, which is to say, like an American driver, through the streets of London. Ian fires, but misses. It’s not a completely loss though, because it takes out a blood pudding factory, which is really gross anyway. The whole building explodes.

Jack turns the corner, right into a traffic jam. He tries to back up, and when he can’t, he does what anyone else would do: He gets out of his car, belts someone in the face, and takes off in THEIR car. Kate brings Simone along. They jump into this new car, and get away. Ian misses his opportunity because he’s more interested in narrating what he’s doing, instead of just doing it and firing the missile.

Jack drives to a tunnel. He jumps out of the car and tells Kate they need to get another car, which happens to drive by just at that moment. Jack orders the guy driving out of his car, which he does. Then Jack goes to a homeless guy, takes the guy’s favorite brick, tells the guy not to move, and uses the brick to press the gas on the first car they were driving. The car speeds out of the tunnel, and Ian takes the shot. The missile hit the car and it explodes. So does the car. The homeless guy is a little ticked off that 1) Jack didn’t even tell him to duck, and 2) that was his favorite brick.

Ian is really happy that the car exploded, and asks Margot how many points that was worth, because the score wasn’t coming up on the screen. These drones have very good cameras, because Margot notices that the car was empty.

As they drive away, Kate mentions that Simone is in rough shape. It was probably the black eyes, the cuts on her cheek and missing finger that tipped her off.

COMMERCIAL

5:52pm – Jordan is still on his way to the house boat, which is named Sophie. The doors, are strangely locked, which throws Jordan off. Then he’s hit in the arm by a bullet, which really throws him off… the boat. The guy who shot Jordan looks for him but doesn’t see a body.

Meanwhile, Mark meets up with the Russian Deputy Minister. The Minister wants “The Criminal Jack Bauer”. Mark tries to explain that Jack can’t really be turned over at the moment, because he’s busy saving the day. And besides his name is currently “The Hero Jack Bauer”. The Minister knows the real truth about the extradition papers though, and tells Mark he’s pretty sure that Heller never signed any papers to turn over Jack. He’s also aware of Jack’s previous relationship with Mark’s wife, Audrey. Then Mark says something we ALL wish would have happened to this season of 24: “Leave my wife out of this”.

Mark explains that he just can’t run out and get Jack to turn himself over. The Russian basically repeats this, and just can’t believe it. Mark says that he’ll turn Jack over as soon as Jack saves the day.

The President watches the report of the hospital attack and calls Jack. He wants to see Jack at his office ASAP, even though Jack is out in the field trying everything he can to save the day. Jack tells Kate that they’re going to a place to try and save Simone long enough to get her to talk, and that he has to go to talk to the president. They might actually slow down the car for one or both of these events.

A minion brings the President a paper on Margot with her channel information. It’s in cartoons so he can understand it. The minion drops off The President’s “good jacket”

5:57 pm – Jordan crawls out of the river! It’s a yucky river too.

The President calls Margot, and they talk pleasantly to each other. He asks Margot if he can trust her! He’s clearly insane. Margot says he can trust her to end this. He says he’s already made his decision about turning himself over.

TIME’S UP!

NEXT TIME ON 24 – SIMONE ISN’T GOOD! GUNS ON DOCTORS! THE PRESIDENT WANTS TO GO WATCH TENNIS! MISSILES! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

Season 8 – 24 – 3pm to 4pm

Previously on “24” – JUST HAPPENED! PAY ATTENTION!

3:00 pm – Suvarov makes a heartfelt speech about the peace agreement. Dahlia gives him a look at that makes it seems she’d like to feel his heart personally. Suvarov notices that Dahlia isn’t her normal, chipper self. Mrs. President tells him that they’ve all been awake for more than 23 hours now, and that really wears on a person.

Suvarov realizes this is a lie, questions Mrs. President about this. She tells him all about Meredith. Suvarov says that he thinks Mrs. President must have threatened to pull America Idol off the air before the final show, because Dahlia is still at the negotiating table.

His assistant interrupts to tell him Logan is calling. Suvarov rolls his eyes as if to say “Not THIS guy again!”, but takes the call. Logan insists on talking to him in person in his suite. Suvarov doesn’t like this idea until Logan tells him that someone has either sprung a leak, or taken a leak, and it’s in his delegation. Suvarov adjusts his Depends, and hoping to keep his secret, agrees to see Logan.

Logan talks to Jack, while contemplating how he fell for the old “Never Be A President On 24 And Stand In Front Of A Big Glass Window” trick. Jack tells Logan to sit down.

Chloe wakes up and tries to convince Jack that if CTU comes up, there will likely be a lot of shooting, and she’s really hoping to be on any “24” movies that might come along in the next few years.

Meanwhile, Logan sits at his desk, his arms outstretched, trying to do his best Richard Nixon impression.

Chloe’s phone doesn’t answer. Cole paces back and forth, wondering what to do in a very Billy Rosewood sort of way. Cole finally makes a call to the tactical team, and tells them to go after Jack!

Continue reading “Season 8 – 24 – 3pm to 4pm”

Season 8 – 24 – 2 pm to 3 pm

Previously on “24”, we saw that: Jack gives good introductions, and could be a successful television spokesman; Jack can make an ex-President wet his pants by just giving him a mean look; Some people think yelling into phones makes the CIA work harder; Chloe has a foundation that releases CTU agents out into the wild; Ex-President Logan has bug around the collar; Someone who was hungry asked Jack for “Russian Take Out”, and he completely misunderstood what they said.

The following takes place between 2:00 pm and 3:00 pm:

2:00 pm – Cole gets a call from Arlo, who tells him that Jack has been making life-size pin cushions. Cole thinks Chloe might be able to help stop Jack’s rampage through the city, but Arlo thinks that they’d have an easier time calming down Godzilla. Arlo also warns Cole that James, Jack’s paranoid friend, probably has an explosive doorbell, so he should be careful.

2:02 pm – James watches television on a series of branded monitors and is alerted by his Paranoia surveillance system that Cole is in the building. Cole shoots the door, because it has been a very naughty door, and bursts into the room. James is already pointing a gun at him. James has had a lot of practice, because he’s been waiting for that door to make the wrong move for years now, and it finally happened.

Cole tells James that he has two choices: “1” Have his cover blown, and have every federal agent from here to Mars altered to his “non-dead” state or “2” Help find Jack. Cole tries to reason with James, but it doesn’t seem to work until Cole suggests that if Jack dies, it’ll be James’ fault. James finally agrees to help Cole. He just has to change into his spy clothes first, before they go out.

2:06 pm – Chloe arrives in the field where the CTU agents have set up shop. One of the agents stops selling t-shirts long enough to ask why Cole, who had been helping Jack, was now free. Chloe resists the urge to taser him, and tells him that Cole designed the UN protocols. Chloe goes on to say she’s seen many protocols in her time, and was very impressed with Cole’s, so he’s going to be helping out. And that the agent questioning this is a moron. She gets a phone call from Cole.

Cole tells her that James told him all about the bug on Logan’s collar, and it recorded that Suvarov is in on the whole plot. Oh and Jack is probably going after him to kill him. Cole is unsure of how an insect with a little recording device could get all that, but at this point she’s just going along with what’s happening.

Cole tells her that the evidence that was recorded was wiped out, but Jack should have a backup copy. Chloe tells Cole to shmoosh the bug, and that she knew Jack would have a backup, because that’s just the kind of guy Jack is: He practices safe computing.

Chloe thinks she can re-route Suvarov’s motorcade to go to the UN so he’ll be safe, because nothing worthwhile ever happens at the UN. They think Suvarov might be in trouble if he gets out into the open there, but there’s very little chance Jack will be able to do anything about it.

Continue reading “Season 8 – 24 – 2 pm to 3 pm”

Season 8 – 24 – 1 pm to 2 pm

Previously on “24”, we learned: If someone comes in to take over a job and has an assistant, they are probably up to no good; Jack really hates department store mannequins; If you’re an ex-president, don’t ask to take credit for something if you’re not 100% sure everything is going to plan; Don’t ever swallow a SIM card if you’re near Jack Bauer; If you call terrorists on the phone and get a call back, you better have your voice mail answering message recorded in a disguised voice, because if it’s Jack Bauer calling you back, you’re going to be in big, big trouble.

The following takes place between 1 pm to 2 pm:

1:00 pm – Ex-President Logan puts on a red polka dot tie, which he still had from the days when he performed as a clown. He watches a fake news conference, which is taking place to let the world know that he’s helping out with the mid-east peace process. An assistant comes in to tell him that his car is in the heliport, which would be great if he drove a flying Jetsons’ car, but he doesn’t. She informs him President Suvrarov is arriving in 20 or 30 minutes, and that if he orders Domino’s right now, she’s pretty sure the pizza will be there before the Russian president. She leaves.

President Logan receives a phone call from Jason. Jason informs Logan that Jack has been playing Operation again and Pavel is dead. Jason also tells him that it’s likely that Jack has given information to the press, so the whole story is going to come out.

President Logan is so deep in denial that he can almost read the hieroglyphics at the bottom. He tells Jason that he might be able to solve this Bauer problem with “management”, which as we all know won’t do anything.

Jason informs Logan that Jack appears to have reverted to his “Lost Boys” days, because from the condition they found Pavel in… well, Jack’s out for blood. And not in a sparkly vampire, or stupid, Sunnydale vampire kinda way… he’s out for revenge for what happened today. Logan tells Jason to find Jack, and to keep him posted. Jason tells him he doesn’t think the US mail system will take a man of his size, but he’d be willing to try after they finish off Jack.

Continue reading “Season 8 – 24 – 1 pm to 2 pm”

Season 8 – 24 – 12 pm to 1 pm


Previously on “24”, we learned that: Jack will shoot people even before they get done with the reasons Jack won’t shoot them; Never volunteer to make sure Jack doesn’t get in a building – you will be shot… probably multiple times; You should always ask for the non-explosive safety deposit box; If you ask Jack Bauer what you can do to help, and he says “Nothing”, you’re about to be shot.

The following takes place between 12 pm and 1 pm:

12:00 pm – Cole is escorted to Dana’s body by one of the Village people, where he identifies it.

Meanwhile in a cab, Jack plays the copy of Dana’s Funniest Home Videos where he gets to see Dana’s Russian contact, who is about as fun as Renee’s Russian contacts, except with more fingers.

Jack calls his paranoid friend with all the electronic equipment, and tells him he’s coming in “hot”. His friend freaks out until Jack reassures him he’s not about to crash a fighter jet into him. Jack does however want the Russian in the video identified.

12:05 pm – Jason tells everyone at CTU that Dana is dead, and they all resist the urge to start applauding. Jason wants two things: First, they have to find Jack Bauer, who is suspected of killing Dana. Second, everyone has to take some extra time to see if they can figure out what smells like a body hidden behind some wood paneling – the smell is becoming unbearable. Cole is also coming in to CTU, mainly to assist in figuring out where Jack is and to make some faces.

Jason won’t listen to Chloe’s suggestion that perhaps Jack really is on to something with the Russian connection. He completely ignores this because he knows about it already, and doesn’t want anyone at CTU to figure this connection out.
Continue reading “Season 8 – 24 – 12 pm to 1 pm”

Season 8 – 24 – 11 am to 12 pm

Previously on “24”, we learned: the budget for exciting helicopter sequences only permitted 40 second of flying time; Mrs. President can look really concerned when she wants to; When Jack does laundry, he sends out entire bodies with it; People not familiar with Chloe hand her perfectly good, secure electronic devices, only to have them backed up and posted to the Internet two seconds after Chloe touches them; Dana wears black napkins on her head when she travels. The interrogation team really doesn’t understand when people ask for a class of water.

The following takes place between 11 am and 12 pm:

11:00 am – At a fake news conference, Dalia talks about a few generic things about peace. She even thanks Mrs. President because she’s been in heroic raid mode, rather in normal raid mode. Mrs. President looks guilty about that.

Ex-President Logan talks with Jacob-Looking-Guy (JLG) about Dana. Dana isn’t telling them anything so far, probably because the last time we saw her she had a towel over her mouth and was having water poured over it. That makes it a bit tough to talk, but they haven’t realized that’s probably the reason.

JLG starts to talk in code to Logan about what to do after Bledsoe is done “interrogating” Dana, just to make sure they’re all on the same page. Logan rifles through his script just to be sure, and he says they are. Logan, however, thinks this means they’re going to take Dana out for an ice cream later, while JLG thinks she’s going to be killed. Boy, they’re going to be so embarrassed!

Logan says, “Not that I have any idea what you’re talking about”, which means the situation is normal.
Continue reading “Season 8 – 24 – 11 am to 12 pm”

Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop

The weekend before last, I was at the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop. It’s the second time I attended.

The workshop is held every two years at the University of Dayton campus. About 300 to 400 people attend for two and half days.

The workshop is completely unlike any conference I usually go to. Some of you may know that I do computer work, and a writer’s workshop is COMPLETELY different. First, the ratio of women to men is completely reversed. I think there less than 20 guys at the workshop. Estrogen galore. Whoa.

Second, the sessions start earlier. At the computer conferences I’ve been to, most sessions start at 10:30 or so. These started at 9am. A hour and half makes a difference to a computer guy.

The classes at the workshop were much smaller, which is nice if you want to interact with the instructor. You could certainly do that if you were brave enough to read any of the exercises you went through (I wasn’t).

Everyone was very interested in hearing about what everyone else wrote about. I did my best to try to explain the 24 stuff I write about, and to my shock, someone I met had actually read it before. And they didn’t want to chase me down with a hockey stick because of it. Theresa Lode, thanks for admitting you read that 24 stuff. 🙂 Check out her blog, The Mother Lode.

I met a writer who gives tours and teaches out to write about your adventures while traveling, Dave Fox. He runs Globejotter Tours, and is great guy to hang out with.

I also met Danny Gallagher, a writer for TV Squad, and one of the guest lecturers. Danny was really busy, and seemed to know darn near everyone. Another really nice guy to hang around with.

I was able to get books signed by Bill Scheft (writer for Letterman), Steve Doocy, W. Bruce Cameron, Christian Lander (From the Stuff White People Like site. Christian’s rise from idea to New York Time’s best seller took about six months. Crazy.

If you’re at all interested in humor writing, be sure and keep you calendar free for spring of 2012, when they’ll hold the next workshop!

Season 8 – 24 – 10 am to 11 am

Previously on “24”, we saw: Ex-President Logan is still a weasel (apologies to any weasels that may be reading this); Dana is Russian for “mole”, since that’s who she was working with all this time; Jack tried to give Dana a “desk slam makeover”; Most people watching the show fell asleep for 50 minutes, yet somehow didn’t miss anything – fortunately they woke up just in time to see Jack take a CTU helicopter, because he’s just plain sick of driving cars.

The following takes place between 10 am and 11 am:

10:00 am – Jack continues his flight over New York city, only narrowly missing getting mugged. A couple of more helicopters show up, and tell Jack they’d like to have Jack’s helicopter back, so Jack lands it on the “Cooper” building. The helicopters continue to circle, providing narration to Jack’s actions as he makes his way down the fire escape and to the ground. The Fake New York Police arrive just in time to lose Jack, who has already made his way into the crowd.

Continue reading “Season 8 – 24 – 10 am to 11 am”

Season 8 – 24 – 9 am to 10 am


Previously on “24”, we found out that: They choose new temporary directors of CTU by seniority (but we’re still happy Chloe is now in charge); They choose new presidents of fictional countries by marriage; They choose new plot lines by recycling old presidents; The sniper who killed Renee better be choosing his coffin, because Jack is going to be doing some recycling of his own.

The following takes place between 9 am to 10 am:

9:00 am – Jack tries to use his powers of staring to bring Renee back to life, but it isn’t working. A nurse comes in to take Renee’s body away, and I have to say it is the best acting Renee has done all season.

Jack wanders down the hallway and another nurse gives him some new clothes, with less blood on them, to put on. His phone rings. It’s Chloe.

Jack insists on finding the person who killed Renee. Chloe doesn’t know who did it, but does know the Russian mafia is involved. She’s reluctant to give Jack any information since she’s now in charge of CTU. She’s also pretty sure that Jack is completely capable of taking out the entire Russian Mafia with a shoelace and a butter knife, so she declines to tell him where he can get more information.

Jack knows they still have Bazhaev in custody, and he promises not to interfere with the overall CTU investigation. In Jack Talk that translates to: “I’ll only kill him a little bit if he doesn’t give me the information I want.” Chloe, who has known Jack for eons, believes this for some reason, and tells him where Bazhaev is currently being held – he’s in federal court downtown.

9:02 am – Ethan, who had a major heart attack a few hours ago, who was denied treatment by some White House staffers a few less hours ago, and who got out of surgery even fewer hours ago… shows up for work. This guy is the very definition of a workaholic. Mrs. President is shocked to see him.

Mrs. President tells Ethan that she decided to send ex-President Logan over to the Russian embassy to pick up some of those cool nesting dolls, and to negotiate a peace treaty while he was there. Ethan asks how Logan intends to do this, and like everyone else on the show, Mrs. President is completely stumped. She has no idea, and assumed that he was going to try to win them over by offering them a bunch of blue jeans and iPads. Ethan thinks this is pretty suspicious.

9:04 am – President Logan shows up at the Russian embassy outdoor buffet, and orders an espresso from one of the KGB agents. Novakovich tries to explain how sorry he is about Hasan’s death, but Logan isn’t buying it. It could be the huge smile on Novakovich’s face while he says it. He goes on to explain that he doesn’t think Hasan’s wife can do a thing to help the peace process, since there was so much opposition.
Continue reading “Season 8 – 24 – 9 am to 10 am”

Season 8 – 24 – 8 am to 9 am


Previously on “24”: We saw Lady Gaga drive away with Omar in the back of her car; We witnessed Cole’s attempt to become a Scanner to blow up Dana. It wasn’t working, but he did have the right facial expressions down cold; Dana got an immunity agreement, which is now as endangered as a cupcake in the middle of a kindergarten class; Omar went to great lengths not to be on the show again; Finally, we saw a number of things resolve (kind of), except for that weird smell in the heating ducts at CTU.

The following takes place between 8 am and 9 am:

8:00 am – Mrs. President gets a phone call from Jack, who gives her an apology: He wanted to kill a lot more bad guys, and save more heads of state. Jack has a wire hanging from his ear while he makes this call, but everyone is too scared to tell him about it.

In the hallway, Samir is relaxing on a gurney, with a not so relaxing Jack Bullet in his shoulder. They’re going to transport him for questioning. At least most of them want to do this. Someone no one recognizes as “The New Guy” waits until everyone looks in the other direction and tries to give Samir a Botox injection. He completely misses and sticks the injection in Samir’s neck instead. Realizing his mistake, he makes a quick exit, stage left.

While he’s headed down the stairs, he encounters Renee. She looks at him for a second and seems to recognize him from…somewhere, but she’s not quite sure where. She realizes it must be from those Brooding Seminars she’s been taking, and then she goes upstairs to meet with Jack.

8:02 am – Renee tries to console Jack by telling him the number of bad guys he personally shot, but it doesn’t do any good. Jack talks to Cole and tells him that he and Renee are headed home where there are (usually) a lot less terrorists.

8:03 am – Tim tells Mrs. President that the delegates have arrived, and she goes off to meet them. While this goes on, Novakovich tells Minister Jamat that he sure is sorry that Hasan died. Oh, and that he sure bets Jamat is happy that Hasan died, even though Novakovich is sorry. Jamat realizes he’s talking to a crazy person, and leaves.
Continue reading “Season 8 – 24 – 8 am to 9 am”