Twas the night before Christmas, when all through CTU,
\nNot a creature was stirring, not even a CPU.
\nThe presents were set by the computers with care,
\nIn hopes that Jack Bauer soon would be there.<\/p>\n
The interns were nestled all snug in their beds,
\nWhile visions of thigh-shots danced in their heads.
\nAnd Chloe at her computer, and I at my VAX,
\nHad just rested our brains from last week’s attacks.<\/p>\n
When out in the field there arose such a clatter,
\nI answered the phone to see what was the matter.
\nI brought up a window, and moused like a flash,
\nWhile part of my donut fell into the trash.<\/p>\n
The blips on the screen were beginning to show
\nLots of activity in the valley down below.
\nWhen, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
\nBut a black SUV, kicked in high gear!<\/p>\n
With a driver who chased those that would hurt us,
\nI knew in a moment it must be Curtis!
\nChasing bad guys with him was Jack, yelling as they came,
\nAnd he shot, and shouted, and called them by name!<\/p>\n
“Bye Cummings! Bye, Nina! bye, Salazar and Logan!
\nNo, Navi! No, Dina! No, Henderson or Marwan!
\nThey’re all gone now, we’ve seen them all fall!
\nWe got them! Got them! We got them all!”<\/p>\n
As the SUV stops at an airport, they’re ready to fly,
\nThey meet with a helicopter, and mount to the sky.
\nSo up to the building-top the copter they flew,
\nThe flight with Curtis, and Jack Bauer too.<\/p>\n
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
\nThe prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
\nAs I drew in my head, and was turning around,
\nDown the chimney Audrey came with a bound!<\/p>\n
She was dressed all in fur, from her head to her boot,
\nAnd if I had a gun, I swear I would shoot.
\nShe was stealing the toys, things she wouldn’t give back!
\nWe needed Jack back for a Big Jack Attack!<\/p>\n
Her eyes they were crazy, her dimples were hairy!
\nHer cheeks were like Bozo’s, her nose was just scary!
\nThe drool from her mouth had started to flow,
\nAnd it was clear she was mad they canceled her show.
\nThe stockings we hung, she held tight in her teeth,
\nShe took all the candy and made a hat of the wreath.
\nThe fur she was wearing was nasty and smelly,
\nShe was bound and determined to get back on the Telly!<\/p>\n
Jack finally arrived, and he hid behind a shelf,
\nAnd I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
\nA wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
\nSoon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.<\/p>\n
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
\nAnd charged up his stun-gun, then aimed at that jerk.
\nAnd laying his finger aside of his gun,
\nAnd jumped out, giving Audrey a stun!<\/p>\n
With Audrey subdued, to our team gave a whistle,
\nAnd carefully avoided the toe that was mistle,
\nBut I heard him exclaim, \u2018ere he went out of sight,
\n“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"