Previously on \u201c24\u201d, we found out: If you tell someone you\u2019ll lend them a hand, it\u2019s important to make sure they understand that\u2019s just an expression; A tactical nuclear strike is a good way to surprise people; It\u2019s never a good idea to go for a moonlight stroll under the Santa Monica pier, because you\u2019ll never know what you might find.<\/p>\n
The following summary occurred between 10 pm and 11 pm:<\/p>\n
10:00 pm \u2013 It\u2019s just like one of the joint chiefs to walk in front of the television everyone\u2019s watching. Lennox argues that holding the Unnamed Country responsible for Fayed\u2019s action is pretty pointless because nobody is really sure which country Fayed is from, or which country is about to be hit with a nuclear weapon.<\/p>\n
10:01 pm \u2013 Karen calls Bill, and Bill says that Jack isn\u2019t optimistic about breaking Fayed, since he\u2019s shatter resistant. Karen mentions that Wayne has decided to become a very well-known person in the Middle East, and asks Bill to \u201cpretext\u201d something to stop the missile. \u201cPretext\u201d is CTU talk for \u201clie\u201d. Bill refuses.<\/p>\n
10:02 pm \u2013 Mr. Joint Chief of Television Screen Blocking tells Wayne that someone with an RSS feed has tagged the missile, and there are many radar installations, jets, and several hot air balloons on the way to intercept the missile. Wayne helpfully points out that the missile has gotten someone\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n
10:03 pm \u2013 Nobody says anything because everyone thinks it\u2019s someone else\u2019s turn to say the next line.<\/p>\n
10:04 pm \u2013 Someone finally breaks the silence with a phone call, and Lennox answers it. Surprise! It\u2019s \u201cThe Ambassador\u201d from Unnamed Country. He says that they\u2019ve noticed the nuclear warhead headed towards their country, and within the last couple of minutes identified General Habib as someone that\u2019s been helping Fayed all this time! They\u2019ve even been interrogating him! All within the last few minutes. Wow, these guys are FAST. I sure hope they only have one General Habib, because that seems like a pretty common General name, even in Unnamed Country.<\/p>\n
10:05 pm \u2013 Two minutes left until no more Unnamed Country, and Wayne finally gives the order to abort the nuclear weapon, asks The Ambassador to star in a guest spot for the duration of the season, and hangs up. Mr. Joint Chief of Television Screen Blocking waits until after Wayne hangs up to abort the launch, telling the guy on the other end to ditch the nuclear weapon in the gulf. Lennox says that he\u2019s sure that somebody in Unnamed Country has watched James Bond movies, and it\u2019s going to occur to someone over there to grab some scuba gear, some underwater transports, and go get the weapon. Surprise! It turns out it doesn\u2019t matter, because Wayne just had someone write \u201cNuclear\u201d on the side of a regular old missile, and it completely faked everyone out. Turns out that Wayne isn\u2019t a homicidal maniac after all, he just likes to scare his cabinet ever so often. It\u2019s going to be a while before someone tops that one. Wayne orders the new information about Habib sent to CTU.<\/p>\n
10:07 pm \u2013 In the CTU food storage and interrogation room, Jack slips on a banana while hitting Fayed and almost makes the CTU blooper reel. Fayed doesn\u2019t seem to notice this, because he looks like he is meditating, or just really tired. Fayed asks if Jack is enjoying himself, which is a pretty dumb question. Fayed doesn\u2019t talk. Bill calls to tell Jack that Mohmar Habib (equivalent English name: Joe Jones) has been working with Fayed, and Bill tells him to try something more drastic, like threatening Fayed with a ham sandwich. Meanwhile, Doyle tries to tell Fayed that no one will remember his name because it\u2019s hard to spell, and his first name, \u201cAbu\u201d makes people think of The Simpsons. Fayed points out that it\u2019s not spelled the same in The Simpsons, but Doyle ignores that and tells him that Fayed\u2019s second in command will get all the glory. Fayed asks Doyle if he really thinks he\u2019ll get anywhere playing on his vanity. Doyle says that he doesn\u2019t play on furniture. Fayed says he serves the will of God, and Doyle says he\u2019s pretty sure God has never made out a will, and nearly shoots Fayed. Jack interrupts and tells Doyle not to shoot. Jack says that Burke back at CTU hasn\u2019t given any drugs to anyone all season, and it\u2019s his turn to try with Fayed. Fayed doesn\u2019t look the least bit concerned about any of this, or the fact that the blood coming out of his nose is coming out at a 45 degree angle.<\/p>\n
Commercial<\/p>\n
10:15 pm \u2013 Lennox brings Habib\u2019s file to President Wayne, and it appears that Habib is really South American, not Mid Eastern. Lennox mentions that Sandra won\u2019t be making any speeches soon, because she\u2019s on her way back to see Wahlid. Wayne confesses that the Joint Chiefs and he were able to concoct the entire \u201cfake bomb\u201d scenario a while ago during a commercial break, so no one figured it out. Lennox apologizes to Wayne. Wayne says without everything that happened, it wouldn\u2019t have been nearly as dramatic over the last couple of hours. Wayne also says he\u2019s not his brother David, and Lennox agrees that Wayne is much more alive than David. Wayne asks about Noah\u2019s quick withdrawal, but Lennox doesn\u2019t tell him what happened. <\/p>\n
10:16 pm \u2013 Wayne reaches for a pen, but a force field around it keeps him from doing so! Wayne\u2019s hand shakes!<\/p>\n
10:17 pm \u2013 In the CTU transport van, Jack and Doyle argue about the effectiveness of pharmaceutical interrogation. Fayed says he\u2019s not scared of any of this talk because back in terrorist school he was subjected to \u201cThe Simple Life\u201d for 98 hours straight, so he can withstand anything. While everyone argues, the person driving the car pays absolutely NO attention to the road and slams into an armored car going the opposite direction. The CTU van lands on its side.<\/p>\n
10:18 pm \u2013 Turns out that this is not your ordinary armored car. It\u2019s from Terrorist Home Insecurity, and it\u2019s packing a lot of terrorists. They all have posture problems and are carrying very heavy guns, because none of them is standing up straight, and they\u2019re holding their guns with both hands. Jack orders Doyle out the back of the van with Fayed. Jack kicks out the windshield, and suddenly all the terrorists see Jack! Fortunately for Jack they\u2019re all REALLY bad shots, at least for the most part because Jack shoots a lot of them even though they have machine guns. One of the stray bullets hits Doyle!<\/p>\n
10:19 pm \u2013 Someone clearly didn\u2019t get the memo, because one of them shoots Jack! That guy is definitely not going to be invited back as a guest terrorist next year. The rest of the terrorists run to get Fayed, and bring him back to their armored car. Fayed remarks on the happy coincidence that his men just happened to be driving by, but no one hears him. The terrorists leave.<\/p>\n
10:20 pm \u2013 Jack, having proven earlier that he\u2019s one of the undead, suddenly sits up! So does Doyle! Turns out that Wayne isn\u2019t the only one pulling amazing pranks tonight. The whole thing is a set up. At this rate Gredenko will be back any minute waving his hands at Jack with one hand.<\/p>\n
10:21 pm \u2013 Jack and Doyle jump into a car, and head after Fayed. Fayed is in a special Allen Funt equipped CTU van. CTU has replaced all of Fayed\u2019s usual terrorists with special fake CTU terrorists\u2026. Let\u2019s see if he notices! <\/p>\n
10:22 pm \u2013 One of the fake terrorists introduces himself as definitely NOT a CTU agent, but really someone that was sent by General Habib. Fake Terrorist #1 asks where Fayed wants to go. Fayed suppresses saying \u201cDisney World!\u201d, and instead asks for a gun. One of the fake terrorists gives him one. Fayed says that he wants to speak to General Habib, and Fake Terrorist #1 tells him that it\u2019s been impossible to get a hold of Habib because he\u2019s speed dialing American Idol. Fayed says he won\u2019t tell them where to go, until he\u2019s talked to General Habib. Fake Terrorist #1 says, \u201cAs you wish\u201d. It\u2019s a good thing that Fayed never saw The Princess Bride, because if he did, Fake Terrorist #1 probably would have been shot. Jack tells Bill to somehow get General Habib to cooperate, and Bill says that he\u2019ll call the White House, forgetting that everyone is now underneath the White House.<\/p>\n
Commercial<\/p>\n
10:27 pm \u2013 Bill informs Wayne of Jack\u2019s plan to trick Fayed, and Wayne seems pretty impressed, even though Jack didn\u2019t resort to nuclear weapons for his prank. Bill says that even though this was a pretty good prank, Fayed hasn\u2019t fallen for it completely yet, and has asked to talk to General Habib. Bill\u2019s talking pretty loudly, which he usually does when he sticks that piece of metal into his ear. Someone really needs to tell him about that. Lennox says that Karen is in another room meeting The Ambassador. Wayne says he\u2019ll try and put pressure on The Ambassador, and Bill suggests maybe just asking him will work. Wayne gets up to talk to The Ambassador and suddenly slumps over, much to Lennox\u2019s surprise. Wayne blames this on extreme localized gravity, tells Lennox to have someone check on that, and goes to meet with The Ambassador.<\/p>\n
10:29 pm \u2013 The Ambassador tries to make friends with Wayne again, but Wayne won\u2019t have it. Wayne informs The Ambassador of the plan. The Ambassador doesn\u2019t think Habib is going to cooperate. Karen suggests being a little more forceful. The Ambassador says that he resents her tone, and suggests she get a little more sun to correct that. The Ambassador says they\u2019ve done everything to get Habib to talk: they talked to him, they arrested his family, and even cancelled his subscription to Terrorist Today, but nothing is working. Wayne asks if they\u2019ve threatened to kill Habib\u2019s family, which even takes The Ambassador by surprise. He starts to say, \u201cWell, duh! That\u2019s the first thing we always try\u201d, but catches himself and says, \u201cExcuse me?\u201d Karen says that he\u2019s excused, and it\u2019s down the hall and to the left. The Ambassador says this is all very barbaric. This makes Wayne really mad, and says that he doesn\u2019t want to hear about it, because he knows how The Ambassador treats barbers in Unnamed Country. Wayne hands The Ambassador a phone, and tells him to make sure Habib doesn\u2019t give away what CTU is up to.<\/p>\n
10:31 pm \u2013 Bill tells Nadia that Habib will make a phone call to Fake Terrorist #1 and that Habib doesn\u2019t speak English. Nadia says she\u2019ll set up a separate channel to translate. Nadia tries to ask Milo to do it, but Milo has his sockets up in a bunch for some reason and won\u2019t do it. Turns out that Milo didn\u2019t like Nadia acting concerned when she found out that Doyle was bleeding earlier.<\/p>\n
10:32 pm \u2013 Meanwhile, Morris either a really bad eavesdropper, has sprung a leak, or both, and asks what\u2019s going on. Milo says he\u2019ll set up a channel.<\/p>\n
10:33 pm \u2013 Fayed orders the armored car to pull into a garage, which is completely wide open and has plenty of room, since there are no cars anywhere to be seen. I assume that\u2019s because no one drives cars in L.A. after 10 pm. Jack and Doyle pull up outside. Fayed asks Fake Terrorist #1 why he\u2019s never heard of him before, and Fake Terrorist #1 says Fayed should know by now how this works: Minor characters are introduced in the show, are shot, and are quickly forgotten. In the middle of explaining this, Fake Terrorist #1\u2019s phone rings. Surprise! It\u2019s General Habib. Even Fayed looks surprised. Nadia translates the conversation which she says goes like this:<\/p>\n
Habib: \u201cHey, it\u2019s me\u201d<\/p>\n
Fayed: \u201cHow\u2019s it going? Did you send these guys?\u201d<\/p>\n
Habib: \u201cYeah, I did. Why didn\u2019t you blow up anything else?\u201d<\/p>\n
Fayed: \u201cI\u2019ve been busy. I\u2019ve been trying to stay awake, but I haven\u2019t seen a Starbucks in hours\u201d.<\/p>\n
Habib: \u201cI find that hard to believe. You failed, I should have sent Samir. Can you still use the bombs?\u201d<\/p>\n
Fayed: \u201cYes\u201d<\/p>\n
Habib: \u201cCall me back when you get there. I\u2019ll send you a new target. Do you understand?\u201d<\/p>\n
Fayed: \u201cYeah, yeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fayed tells the driver that the safe house isn\u2019t far, and to head for the 110 freeway.<\/p>\n
10:36 pm \u2013 The armored car leaves. Jack and Doyle follow.<\/p>\n
10:37 pm \u2013 Karen asks if Wayne is feeling OK, but he clearly isn\u2019t because his voice could be entered into a \u201ctalking like this\u201d contest. The Ambassador says that he\u2019s happy that everything worked out so well, and he\u2019ll have to remember that \u201cthreaten the family\u201d trick for later. Wayne tells Karen to show The Ambassador out, even though it\u2019s Lennox\u2019 turn to do that. The Ambassador says that he thought he had a promise to stay until the end of this season, but Wayne insists that he should leave.<\/p>\n
10:38 pm \u2013 Wayne starts grunting a lot, and tells Lennox to lock the door. Lennox looks really alarmed because the last time he saw this happen, the Incredible Hulk showed up out of no where, and he doesn\u2019t want to see that happen. Wayne collapses.<\/p>\n
Commercial<\/p>\n
10:41 pm \u2013 CTU has everyone in place and ready to go, with snipers on both sides of everything because of what happened a couple of hours ago. Nadia comes up to point out that after some analysis, she found out that the Samir person Habib was referring to was killed two years ago. Milo suggests that maybe Habib is referring to another Samir. He also suggests that if Samir is dead, Habib might be gathering an army of The Forsaken, but no one hears this. Nadia points out that it might be a code that General was using, and if you look carefully you can see Morris throw his arms up into the arm and mouth the words, \u201cWell, duh!\u201d Bill tells Nadia that was good work she did to figure all that out.<\/p>\n
10:43 pm \u2013 Bill tells Jack about the Samir code that Habib used, and Jack calls Fake Terrorist #1. Jack tells FT #1 about the code, and just as he\u2019s doing so, a dramatic plot device in the form of static happens! Chloe tells Jack that it\u2019s probably the tunnel ahead. Jack says, \u201cHow long is it?\u201d Chloe tells Jack they have 17 minutes left, and Jack says that\u2019s not what he meant. Chloe tells him 120 yards, but it hasn\u2019t come out of the tunnel yet. Jack tells the CTU teams that he had Doyle are going to engage, and someone over the communications link says, \u201cWe had no idea! Congratulations!\u201d, but Jack ignores this.<\/p>\n
10:44 pm \u2013 Jack and Doyle drive into the tunnel, which is mysteriously completely empty, just like most of the streets in L.A. have been. The armored car is stopped in the middle. Jack and Doyle check, and everyone with a non-speaking part is dead, and Fayed is gone. Jack looks around and suspects that the door in the wall with all the bullet holes near the doorknob is probably where Fayed went. Since this is a common thing in L.A., he approaches with a little bit of skepticism. Jack kicks in the door and points the gun straight up, just in case Fayed suddenly got Sister Bertrille powers. <\/p>\n
10:45 pm \u2013 Jack moves into the main area where all the machinery required to operate the tunnel is located, looking for Fayed. Jack sneaks around and finds that Fayed just mugged someone! He\u2019s fitting right into the L.A. criminal lifestyle already! Fayed jumps into a big (but inconspicuous) white garbage truck, not noticing that Jack is doing a great Indiana Jones impression by hanging on underneath the truck. L.A. is one glitzy place because they even have lights underneath the truck. Jack makes a very loud phone call to Bill to let him know where the truck is headed, but drops the phone. Bill asks Chloe to figure out what she can. Doyle finds a dead body at the loading dock, so they\u2019re pretty sure Jack was nearby.<\/p>\n
Commercial<\/p>\n
10:51 pm \u2013 Wayne\u2019s doctor hurriedly straps a pocket calculator to Wayne\u2019s wrist and begins calculating how much overtime he\u2019s going to get for this extended under White House call. The doctor wants to take Wayne to the medical unit, but Wayne refuses. Wayne asks for another shot of adrenaline. When the doctor refuses, Wayne looks like he\u2019s going to cry, but then decides to go for a walk saying he feels happy. The doctor tries to resign, but Wayne says that they\u2019re all in this season together and they have to stay until the end just like everyone else. The doctor leaves. Wayne asks Lennox to call CTU to find out what\u2019s happening.<\/p>\n
10:54 pm \u2013 Meanwhile, under the truck, Jack prays for no speed bumps as Fayed drives into his secret hideout. Fayed tells Halil that Gredenko betrayed him and now he just wants to blow something up, so they\u2019re going to downtown Los Angeles for take-out. Halil doesn\u2019t seem to understand this until Fayed corrects himself and says, \u201cI mean, we\u2019re going to take out downtown Los Angeles\u201d. The men and Fayed all leave, except for one guy, who will probably be killed by Jack shortly.<\/p>\n
10:55 pm \u2013 The guy takes three steps, Jack karate chops him in the shins, slams him to the floor and kills him. Jack enters the building, following Fayed to the bombs. Jack starts shooting, killing nearly everyone but Fayed. Fayed and Jack shoot at each other, both running out of bullets at the same time. They look at each other with looks like \u201cWhat are the odds of THAT happening?\u201d, and Jack runs up to give Fayed a giant bear hug., except it\u2019s more of an I\u2019m going to kill you hug. They fight until they can barely move. Jack crawls over and uses a hanging chain as a defensive weapon, and is thankful he took that elective in CTU training school. He bites Fayed in the arm, since he hasn\u2019t bitten anyone in a few hours now, and wraps the chain around Fayed\u2019s neck. Jack tells Fayed \u201cSay hello to your brother\u201d, and presses a control button near the chain. Fayed suddenly wishes that he was about 5 inches taller, because he\u2019s lifted right off the ground and dies by strangulation. <\/p>\n
10:58 pm \u2013 Doyle finds Jack. Doyle seems pretty impressed with how Jack ended up killing Fayed, and calls CTU to let them know that everything is OK. Doyle gets a phone call. Doyle hands to phone to Jack.<\/p>\n
10:59 pm \u2013 It\u2019s AUDREY! The Chinese have brought her back to life! Chang wants Jack to call 310-597-3781 in ten minutes! An entire plot line is dropped for an even bigger terrorist threat: The return of Audrey!<\/p>\n
11:00 pm \u2013 Time\u2019s up!<\/p>\n
NEXT TIME: CHANG WANTS A COMPONENT OR THEY\u2019LL KILL AUDREY! NOAH WON\u2019T RESIGN. WAYNE OWES JACK! DOYLE AND JACK PULL GUNS ON EACH OTHER!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"