Previously on \u201c24\u201d – Jack: bit someone that wasn\u2019t kosher right on the neck; shot his friend Curtis; strangled two people; watched a nuclear bomb go off; cried; shot a LOT of bad guys; got framed for killing his brother; ran up his long distance bill; disarmed a bomb; ran through sewers; got Audrey to say one word; took a phone call he shouldn\u2019t have; finally heard someone admit that he was right; continued to save the world. <\/p>\n
But most of all, Jack is still hoping that this season would get over so he could get a nice new plot for next year.<\/p>\n
The following summary takes place between 5 am and 6 am:<\/p>\n
5:00 am \u2013 Out at the oil platform, the boat arrives with Josh, who to his credit starts arguing with Grandpa right away. Cheng comes downstairs and tells Grandpa that all their cargo ships are being watched after the last Bauer they got out of the country, so this time they\u2019re going to have to take a submarine. Back on the beach, Jack is wearing a bullet-proof life vest.<\/p>\n
5:01 am \u2013 Chloe is in the hospital, with Morris by her side. He\u2019s really worried, and the doctor tells him that she passed out because the absolutely bizarre plot this season finally just made her brain overload. Chloe opens her eyes and tells Morris to get back to work. She was listening the whole time! He wants to stay with her, but she tells him that it would really make her happy if she could just use a computer to find Grandpa.<\/p>\n
5:02 am \u2013 Nadia tells Morris that Jack was right AGAIN (surprise). This time it was the oil platform. They decide to use a satellite to see if they can figure out how many people are on that platform, and it turns out there are plenty of people there for Jack to shoot.<\/p>\n
5:03 am – Nadia goes to call Lennox, and Morris calls the doctor to find out about Chloe. The doctor points out the obvious: it\u2019s just been about two minutes since Morris was there! The doctor tells Morris to quit stalking Chloe, and that he won\u2019t release any information without her permission.<\/p>\n
5:04 am \u2013 Lennox tells Noah that Nadia called to let them know about the oil platform. Noah wants to send in a special tactical unit, but one of the cabinet officers has got a much more explosive idea: F-18 fighter jets! Explosions galore! The circuit board will likely just blow up too. Lennox points out that Josh is not explosion proof, so it\u2019s likely
\nthat there will be lots of Josh shark bait in the water, if they go through with the fighter jets. Noah points out that if the Russians attack, a lot of people are going to die anyway, so he orders the F-18 strike.<\/p>\n
5:07 am \u2013 Mike apologizes to Jack for falling for the explosive circuit board trick, and Jack says that it is OK, since he fell for that a few times himself when he was a rookie. Nadia calls Jack and tells him that the White House has ordered an air strike in thirty minutes. She orders Jack and Bill back to CTU to be debriefed, and not in a good way. <\/p>\n
5:09 am \u2013 Jack is pretty upset that Josh is being written off like this. Surprise! It turns out that Bill is a part time helicopter pilot! They take over the helicopter, which no one will notice because it\u2019s loud, has blinking lights, and a HUGE spotlight. The people on the platform will never see it coming.<\/p>\n
Commercial<\/p>\n
5:14 am \u2013 The fighter jets are 22 minutes out, as Cabinet Guy tells Noah that Russian Troops are all in Flank Two Position near our military base! Lennox interrupts to let Noah talk to Suvarov. Noah explains the air strike plan to Suvarov. Suvarov tells Noah that they know there\u2019s a Chinese submarine pretty close to the platform, and he\u2019s pretty sure that it\u2019s not going there for a fried rice delivery. Suvarov says that the oil platform needs to be completely destroyed in order to salvage what\u2019s left of the plot, since explosions always help to do that.<\/p>\n
5:15 am \u2013 Morris goes to tell Nadia that Jack and Bill are on their way to the oil platform with the CTU helicopter. Nadia tells Jack that she can\u2019t authorize a suicide mission. Jack tells her that he\u2019s already thought of that because Bill is with him, and Bill already had authorized a suicide mission today, so it all works out. Bill finally breaks in and tells Nadia that this is the right thing to do. Nadia stares off into space for a minute, remembering what it was like when Bill was in charge, and realizes she hasn\u2019t seen the guys that said they were doing an immediate investigation during the 3:00 am to 4:00 am show. They must have run away from the plot. Morris sends the information about the bad guys on the platform. Bill is going to fly in to the platform now, just as the F-18s acquire the target.<\/p>\n
5:19 am \u2013 Cheng, Grandpa and Josh have no idea what\u2019s going on outside, so they\u2019re not the least bit panicked. Josh asks to be let go, and Grandpa says he can\u2019t do that because of all the water.<\/p>\n
5:20 am \u2013 Outside, the Chinese guys outside see the helicopter, even though the helicopter is black, and it\u2019s dark outside. Inside, Cheng GIVES BACK THE COMPONENT to Grandpa, and says they\u2019ll meet at the boat. Why did he do that? Brain damage?<\/p>\n
5:21 am – Bill uses the helicopter to sneak up on the Chinese guys, who knew about the helicopter, but STILL weren\u2019t prepared. Jack does a lot of shooting, blows a few things up, and immediately finds Cheng. Cheng says they\u2019re too late, because he\u2019s fresh out of components and Josh. Jack goes off to find them, and Bill takes Cheng for a drag out to the helicopter.<\/p>\n
Commercial<\/p>\n
5:26 am \u2013 Josh won\u2019t go with Grandpa, so he just stops on the way to their boat. Grandpa tells him to stop acting \u201clike a child\u201d (even though he IS a child). Josh tells him to stop acting like a \u201cdemented homicidal traitor\u201d. Grandpa decides to enact some tough love and nearly chokes Josh to death, all the while telling him to control his emotions. He must think Josh is half-Vulcan.<\/p>\n
5:27 am \u2013 Meanwhile, Jack goes around firing at people that still haven\u2019t left the platform. The F-18 pilots are four minutes, 30 seconds away.<\/p>\n
5:28 am \u2013 Grandpa tries to get the boat ready, and Josh takes a wrench, smacks Grandpa in the head, and grabs his gun! Grandpa tells Josh that Josh won\u2019t shoot, and there he\u2019d be wrong. Josh shoot Grandpa! Jack arrives just in time, and tells Josh, \u201cI\u2019ve been exactly where you are, and I know exactly how you feel\u201d. Josh gives him a look that says, \u201cYou shot Grandpa once too??\u201d Josh finally gives up his gun, and Jack tells him to get to the helicopter. Josh runs for it.<\/p>\n
5:29 am \u2013 Grandpa wants Jack to finish it, and Jack says there\u2019s still a half hour left, so he can\u2019t do that yet. Jack says that Grandpa needs to be held accountable for what\u2019s happened today. Grandpa points out that unless Jack has figured out a way to stop time, there won\u2019t be enough time to carry him anywhere and still make it off the platform before the air strike. Jack tells his father, \u201cYou\u2019re getting off easy\u201d, and Grandpa responds he doesn\u2019t need oven cleaner. Jack says, \u201coff easy, not Easy Off\u201d. Jack runs for the helicopter.<\/p>\n
5:30 am \u2013 Bill is outside of the helicopter for some reason, probably trying to figure out where the tires are on the thing. Nadia tells him they only have ninety seconds to get off the platform before the air strike. Josh arrives, and Bill very brightly lets out a rope ladder.<\/p>\n
5:31 am \u2013 Noah orders the air strike. Bill circles around to get Jack, just as the missiles fire, and Jack grabs the rope ladder at the last second just as the explosions go off! Yeah! That\u2019s more action than we\u2019ve seen in WEEKS!<\/p>\n
5:32 am \u2013 Noah confirms with Suvarov that the oil platform is now the burning pile of rubble formerly known as \u201coil platform\u201d. Suvarov orders the withdrawal of the troops from around the base. Suvarov and Noah make nice.<\/p>\n
5:33 am \u2013 Jack\u2019s hanging on to the rope ladder, and decides to go for a swim since all this action has made him really smelly. Jack swims to shore, signals Bill that he\u2019s OK. Josh wants to go back for him. Bill tells Josh that Jack isn\u2019t ready to come back yet.<\/p>\n
Commercial<\/p>\n
5:40 am \u2013 Noah goes back to the Oval Office, where he tells Cabinet Guy to have one of the US submarines to follow the Chinese submarine back to China. Lennox wants to get right on this whole Chinese thing, but Noah wisely decides to leave that for another day since there\u2019s only twenty minutes left in the show. Lennox tells Noah that now would be a pretty good time to let Karen off the hook, since she did help get Jack involved, and besides a scandal right now wouldn\u2019t work out very well. Noah agrees, and Lennox hands over the tape recording he made earlier.<\/p>\n
5:42 am \u2013 At CTU, Morris goes to visit Chloe to let her know that everything is OK, since the Russians aren\u2019t rushing, the Chinese aren\u2019t china-ing, and they finally figured out a cure for Crazy Grandpa Bauer, who blew up. Morris tells Chloe he\u2019s concerned, and after a short discussion about who loves who, Chloe tells Morris she\u2019s pregnant. Morris asks, \u201cWith child?\u201d Chloe says, \u201cNo, with a keyboard! Of course with a child!\u201d Chloe says, \u201cLet\u2019s not ruin this moment by saying something stupid.\u201d And then immediately says something stupid, \u201cLet\u2019s go back to work\u201d.<\/p>\n
5:44 am \u2013 Lennox comes in to tell Karen that she\u2019s free to go, and that Bill is being pardoned too. Lennox tells her that she and Bill will be free to get on with their lives, at least until next January when the \u201c24\u201d season starts back up again.<\/p>\n
5:46 am \u2013 Bill returns to CTU with Cheng in tow. Cheng looks like a V8 exploded all over his face. Josh runs for his mother, and Bill informs Cheng that he won\u2019t be getting dim sum for a long time. Cheng tells Bill, \u201cMy people won\u2019t abandon me the way you abandoned Jack Bauer\u201d.<\/p>\n
5:47 am \u2013 Bill congratulates Nadia on a job well done. Nadia wants to know where Jack went, Bill says \u201cJack won\u2019t be found if he doesn\u2019t want to be found\u201d. Nadia looks at Bill as if he\u2019s been hanging out in a fortune cookie factory too long. Bill says they have to let him go, and she realizes that he\u2019s right.<\/p>\n
5:50 am \u2013 Heller is on the phone with someone actually HAPPY that Audrey is still alive. Now THAT is acting, my friends. Anyway, he hangs up and hears something. He picks up the phone, and Jack shows up soaking wet, probably to make Heller feel more comfortable, since he likes diving into water too. Heller asks if Jack is there to kill him, and Jack says, \u201cDepends\u201d. Heller says he has a whole box of those, but that doesn\u2019t answer his question. He tells Jack that he won\u2019t let him see Audrey. You\u2019d think Jack would be happy about that, but he goes nuts and pulls a gun. Turns out that Jack has father issues, but with Heller.<\/p>\n
5:53 am \u2013 Jack is really mad that Heller told him he was cursed, because people like Heller ordered him on the various missions he\u2019d been on, and never\u2026 not once, did they send a Christmas card or anything like that. Even when Jack had his \u201cvacation\u201d in China, not a birthday card, or a tactical extraction, or anything!<\/p>\n
5:55 am \u2013 Jack says he wants his life back, and he wants Audrey back. He just wants to disappear, and if anyone goes after them both, he\u2019ll kill them. Then, in the understatement of the whole season, Jack says, \u201cI\u2019m pretty good at that too\u201d. Granted, not as much as last season, but still, you have to admire a guy that would get out of being held prisoner by biting someone\u2019s neck, even though they hadn\u2019t washed in a week. Heller says Jack won\u2019t change, and he doesn\u2019t want Audrey to pay the price the way Jack\u2019s wife did. Jack says he wants to see Audrey.<\/p>\n
5:57 am \u2013 They go into Audrey\u2019s room, where she\u2019s sleeping. He holds her hand, and tells her that he\u2019s at a crossroads, and that he has to let her go. Audrey does some of her best acting ever, and doesn\u2019t move a muscle. He tells her he loves her, and kisses her on the forehead without even wiping off his lips afterwards. <\/p>\n
5:59 am – Jack gets up and leaves Heller\u2019s house. He goes out to the terrace looks out on the ocean.<\/p>\n
6:00 am \u2013 Time\u2019s up!<\/p>\n
Thanks to Dave Barry for allowing me to post these on his blog every Monday, thanks to everyone who actually read through the \u201c24\u201d summaries I wrote this season, thanks to my friend John who read through these week after week before I posted them, and extra thanks to my wife and kids who let me commandeer the TV every week to do this!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"