Prison Break – Season 3 – Episode 1 – “Orientación”
As in every prison show, the scene open with a woman applying makeup to her face… a face with dramatic scratches.
Elsewhere, it’s raining on Michael who’s surrounded by a lot of guys that appear to be really excited about the rain. Michael even sees Mahone, who looks even less happy to be in the rain with a bunch of excited guys than Michael does.
It turns out that it’s not the rain that everyone is excited about. It’s… A guy shaking a chicken foot that he must have found in a bucket of KFC, and he’s mad at the clerk that gave it to him, and he throws it into the mud. Now not only does he have a chicken foot, but it’s muddy chicken foot. This doesn’t make him any happier.
While this is going on, Lincoln talks to a guy at the US Consulate who isn’t any help whatsoever to Michael, but sure knows a lot about the prison Michael is in. Turns out that it was voted the Worst Prison Ever at the Academy of Prisons Awards show last month. The problem is, it’s pretty much a convict hotel: Convicts check-in, but they don’t check-out. Even the guards have left. Nobody told the inmates, because they’re still in there.
Now, back at the prison, the guy with the chicken bone is beating up the other guy, and kills him. Right afterwards he realizes his mistake, and now he doesn’t have anybody to complaint to about that chicken foot.
Back at the US Consulate the next morning, Lincoln is talking with the guy in charge, who called someone that must be pretty connected with the Panama City police, because they’re trying to get Michael transferred to a “more modern” prison. I think that means one without so much rain, mud and chicken waving maniacs. Then he tells Lincoln that the whole “someone framed you for the death of the vice president’s brother” thing is all wrapped up, and there’s no problem! Except for the whole “Michael is in a really, really bad prison” problem, which the Consul has a problem focusing on because he’s more interested in finding Michael and Lincoln’s dad. Lincoln asks him to focus on the Michael problem.
There’s good news and bad news and good news: The good news is, all the crime scene checks out because they found a gun. The bad news is, the bag of money is gone. The good news is that Michael should be getting transferred to a new prison, and will likely have the charges dropped.
At the prison, the guy from the previous night is still dead in the middle of the courtyard, but the mud has completely dried up! They have great drainage at this prison. Michael wakes up and see Bellick all beaten up and staggering around in his underwear, which as horrifying as seeing Bellick all beaten up staggering around in his underwear. Bellick mistakes a couple of guys in the courtyard for concierges, and asks for some water. They’re pretty new at this, so they tell him he can drink some muddy water. (The only muddy water in the courtyard, it appears). Bellick tells them, “Bite me”, which goes over just about as well as you could expect in a prison yard. The concierges leave after splashing Bellick with the mud, and another prisoner helps him out of the courtyard.
Elsewhere in the prison, Mahone sits around watching a couple of guys play darts while having a lot of flashbacks to better times: his family, press conferences, shooting people and getting away with it. Mahone sees Michael come in from the courtyard and confronts him. He congratulates Michael for the drugs that got planted on the boat that got him thrown into prison, but swears he’ll get out soon. He talks pretty loudly, and a lot of the prisoners overhear all the talk of arresting people and working for the government. That’s pretty much a big no-no to let people know about in a place like this. Anyway, despite all this, Mahone is willing to let all that go, and wants to make a partnership with Michael. Michael says at would be OK except for one tiny thing: Mahone killed Michael’s dad. Of all the things Mahone could have done, he picks one of the very things that Michael would get upset about.
Outside of the prison, a woman is yelling in Spanish. Fortunately, she comes with subtitles so we can read what she’s saying. Someone called to let her know that her husband was killed in prison last night! Whoa! This prison has working telephones too? At least the question about the guards is answered. They’re all OUTSIDE of the prison, patrolling around it.
Lincoln shows up and heads for the guard station. The guard just let a nun into the prison… ALONE. That’s either one gutsy nun or one stupid guard. Maybe both. Lincoln goes in, and suddenly the guard speaks English better than most Americans. He tells Lincoln that once he’s inside the prison he’s: 1) On his own, 2) not supposed to help anyone escape, and 3) going to be shot if they even think he’s going to help some escape. I think Lincoln’s pretty clear on the “no escape” part.
They must have a pretty good public address system, because it takes Michael no time at all to get to Lincoln. This is one amazing prison. Quiet too. They exchange a few pleasantries about Michael being the one in jail now, while Lincoln is free. Before they can break into a chorus of “Isn’t It Ironic”, Lincoln says that Michael is due to be transferred to a new prison by tomorrow. Michael pretty much ignores this and wants to hear about Sara, Lincoln doesn’t know where she is, but suspects that she might have left the show for another show on another network, and says he’ll see Michael tomorrow.
Michael, from the safety of that area he was just in… the area with NO OTHER INMATES, decides to go back into the courtyard again. Oh sure, there’s a kid that wants to talk about basketball, but that lasts about 20 seconds when a group of men come up to Michael and tell him it’s time for “orientation”.
Somewhere else in the prison, we find out that nuns down in South America are a LOT different than nuns other places… well, at least this nun is. She either wasn’t a nun in the first place, or she’s going to have to say about a million prayers after confession for what she did with one of the prisoners. The prisoner she was with is doing aerobics with a flat screen TV, which is another perk of this prison. A group of men are brought into the room, including Mahone and Michael.
The guy that was doing aerobics turns out to be the head honcho at the prison, and wants to know if any of the men have anything to tell him. No one says anything, but he knows all about Michael from CNN. That makes, phones, flat screen televisions, visits from fake nuns, and either cable or satellite dishes that get CNN. I promise not to be surprised if they have a Starbuck’s too.
Oh oh… he knows about Mahone too, because of those prisoners that were listening earlier when Mahone was shooting his mouth off.
The last guy Mr. Aerobics confronts gets so scared that he starts peeing his pants, and since he’s not standing on newspaper, Mr. Aerobics gets really REALLY mad. Doesn’t kill him though. He tells everyone that now he has “mind control”. I’m not sure if the Amazing Randi would want to debunk this guy, so we’re going to have to take his word for it. He tells everyone to get out.
Now that everyone’s gone, he starts talking to the “nun” again. Aerobics says that he’s pretty sure Michael has a lot of charisma, so it could turn out to be a problem. He asks “nun” whether she thinks Michael is good looking, and she says that he’s not as good looking at Aerobics is…. not even Aerobics believes that, and throws her out too.
Back at prison, they’re playing rock music, while Michael has flashbacks about Sara.
Lincoln asks around about Sara with some authorities, but they’re pretty sure she’s left the show too.
Again back at prison, the guy who helped Bellick walks across the courtyard. This guy is wearing boxers (Bellick was wearing tighty-whities…must be some sort of underwear club). Anyway, one of the prisoners comes over to Bellick and his friend and tells them it’s time to work. They all head for the bathroom, which needless to say is very disgusting and doesn’t have any toilet paper left, and tells them to clean it up. As you might imagine, they’re pretty excited about this.
Aerobics comes out to the courtyard to view his domain, while Michael decides to go for another stroll through it, instead of keeping his head down and waiting for tomorrow. One of Aerborics men comes to tell him that there’s yet ANOTHER American that has joined them, and this guy has a creepy hand. It’s T-Bag!
Michael spots T-Bag right away, and of course, T-Bag spots Michael. And before anything else can happen, the front desk pages Michael, telling him he has a visitor.
Michael goes out to the visitors area again to meet someone named Elliot Pike, who says he’s not a lawyer, but has plenty of “big guns” behind him. Pikes speaks in several more clichés, telling Michael that once he’s out of prison, they can “help” him. Michael decides Pike is just a little too cliché-ridden, and leaves.
More music…this time from steel drums! In the prison! Man, Panama has some strick laws if they’re throwing musicians in prison for playing steel drums.
Back at cell 44, Michael looks around and starts to get comfy when another prisoner attacks him. He thinks that Michael took something of his. Nearly instantly, Aerobics comes down with his men and breaks up the fight. Michael is searched – nothing. His bed is searched, and tada! They find white powder in a plastic bag, blaming it on Michael. Aerobics gets REALLY harsh and calls them both scumbags, which is clearly uncalled for. The prison who attacked Michael threatens him again, and leaves.
Lincoln continues to look for Sara using the absolutely worst picture he could find. Sara looks like her eyes are going to pop out of her head in that picture. It’s not clear where Lincoln is, but it looks like he’s resorted to going to random offices to ask people about Sara.
Lincoln’s phone rings! It’s the constable he talked to earlier. Good news! They might have found Sara! Bad News! She’s at the morgue.
Bellik and his friend try and get something to eat in the courtyard, but all they get from the guy who’s cooking is the bone he was just chewing on. This place might have phones, televisions, and the rest, but their cafeteria is nothing to write home about. They head back into the prison, and Bellik’s friend sees a window that looks like it can be pushed out – and sure enough, it can! How something like that got past hundreds of prisoners… well, it just must be a prison miracle. He pushes the window out.
T-Bag catches up with Michael, and wants to chat about why the heck they ended up at Sona (which is the name of the prison they’re visiting this season).
Suddenly, someone starts yelling “Runner!” What kind of bozo yells “Runner!” when someone tries to escape? Shouldn’t they just keep quiet about that, and join the escape instead of alerting the guards? Nope… not at this wacky prison. The guards yell for Bellik’s friend to stop. Bellick yells, “No! No!” but Bellick’s friend doesn’t listen. The guards throw a bunch of bullets at him using their machine guns, and he dies. Bellick is pretty upset about seeing the guy shot, even though he just met him. Michael didn’t even meet him and he’s upset too. But probably not as upset as he is when he heads back to his cell and finds a chicken foot just sitting there. Two things are for sure: A) They really like KFC at that prison, and B) There’s going to be a fight.
At the morgue, Lincoln goes in to view the body and …. it’s not Sara! He can tell because it doesn’t look like her and Sara moved around a lot more than this women does.
Back at Sona Prison, Michael goes to see Aerobics about that chicken foot, protesting that he doesn’t even like KFC. Aerobics says that’s not his problem. Michael tells Aerobics that he knows that he’s been set up, and leaves.
Now, interestingly enough, Gollum or a close approximation has been listening to this conversation through an air vent that leads into the basement. The very basement that Bellick is dumping some garbage to be burned. The man whistles (well, kind of whistles) to Bellick, and offers him something to eat in exchange for running an “errand”. Bellick thinks it’s chicken he got a taste of, but the guy (who’s Australian) says it’s not. (He doesn’t say what it is, but I think it’s safe to say we’re going to find out it something nasty).
In the city, Lincoln gets a phone call and finds out that LJ is in Panama. LJ says he got the number from Sara, who got it from the consulate. He wants to meet at 8:30pm at the top of the Garfield Price building. The phone call ends. Nothing suspicious about THAT phone call. Nope. Not a thing. Anyway, the camera pans out and Lincoln took the call from the top of a big building. There must be great reception up there for his cell phone, or it must be easy to look for Sara from up there. Maybe both.
Michael sits in his cell while the reset of the inmates excitedly clean up the yard with the spare bodies that have been laying around.
T-Bag somehow makes friends with Aerobics out in the courtyard by offering to clean his shoes, and then not even doing that because of his hand. That T-Bag sure is a charmer. (eeech!)
Mahone goes to visit Michael and gives him some advice about fighting dirty (point at the sky, yell, “Turtle!”, and then punch him…. if that doesn’t work, just go for the kneecap. Mahone believes Michael is his only way out of prison alive.
Bellick goes up to Michael as Michael goes out into the courtyard, and gives him a note. Then Bellick does the same thing to the guy who’s going to fight Michael. Guess the Australian guy figures that whoever ends up dying will be pulled out of prison (dead) and the note will be found by someone.
Aerobics tells everyone the rules: No killing utensils, and there are rules to fighting because they’re not savages. Except for the killing part.
Michael stares at the other guy for a moment and says, “I’m not going to fight”. The guy turns to look at Aerobics, and whoops! Michael was lying! He kicks the guy in the knee, and he goes down. Michael beats the guy up, and then tries to leave, but the crowd won’t let him.
Aerobics stands up and tells him that there really is a rule: Only one man comes out alive.
The inmates continue to yell while they fight each other. Michael hits the guy, who goes down. Michael tries to leave again, when someone throws the other guy a knife. He stands up to attack Michael, and Mahone steps in to save him. Mahone beats the snot out of the guy, killing him, and quotes Aerobics speech back to him, which doesn’t make Aerobics very happy.
Lincoln tries to get into the restaurant at Garfield place, but they won’t let him in because he smells pretty bad and he’s not wearing a jacket. After buying a jacket from a busboy, he gets in, despite the smell. He walks to a bar outside, and a woman starts talking to him. It’s the woman from the beginning of the show. He doesn’t want anything to do with her until she calls him “Lincoln” and pushes a phone to him, telling him that he should talk to the person on the phone.
At the prison the next day, the woman who’s been yelling at the guards is still out there, and watches while Bellick’s friend is finally taken away.
The guards set up some kind of exchange (water or gasoline…can’t tell which) and the dead men from inside the prison are brought out. The inmates go back inside, and the guards shoot the dead bodies just to be sure they’re extra dead and don’t come back as zombies.
The bodies are dumped outside, and one of the workers tells the young woman that the bodies are going to be buried right there on the spot unless someone in their families comes to claim them. The truck drives away, and the woman searches for notes on the dead bodies! She finds the note that Bellick planted on the guy Michael fought. The note says, “Versailles 1989 V Madrid”. Michael finds the same note in his pocket.
Lincoln comes to see Michael, and it turns out that Michael isn’t getting out today after all. Some people have Sara and LJ, and want Michael to bust “James Whistler” out of the jail. They made a video of LJ on a Treo even! Great connectivity with the cell phone network. That prison has everything. Anyway, Michael has one week to get Whistler out of there or LJ and Sarah die.
This Season On Prison Break: T-Bag STILL doesn’t like Michael! Mahone tells everyone Michael set him up! Deals are made! Scary envelopes are pushed under doors! Alliances are forged! Sucre is back! Michael attempts to break out of prison AGAIN!