Previously on “24”: We learned that if Jack doesn’t get to shoot something for a while, he starts to get the shakes and blames it on “toxic gas exposure”; Speaking of “Toxic Gas”, Janis yet again proved she’s no Chloe; Ken and Olivia vied for the Sleazy Weasel of the Year award; Jonas must have terrible depth perception because he wanted to show Douglas a large glass bottle up close, but ended up hitting him over the head with it; Mrs. President stopped an air strike, which would have put the whole show out of it’s misery.
1:00 am – Tony’s still sneaking around, watching a truck at the compound. Jack gives Tony the bad news, no air strike, and no quick end to this season. Tony notices that they’re pumping “RP-7” into the depot. Renee thinks that with a little help with C3PO they could use his protocol droid abilities to talk to the surface to air missiles and save the day. Tony tells her that she wouldn’t know a Jawa from an Ewok, and besides, “RP-7” is rocket fuel. Jack suggests they use the C4 that Tony just happens to have in his pocket. He wants Tony to blow up the truck using a remote detonator, which is a much better detonator than the “up close” detonator, but Jack has to make a call to Mrs. President first.
1:02 am – Agent Tim comes in to tell Mrs. President that the Joint Chiefs have been smoking quite a bit of what they’re in charge of, and are wondering why she didn’t bomb Starkwood into next week. Mrs. President tells him it’s because she invited Jonas Hodges to the White House, and doesn’t really want to answer any of his other questions because she forgot those lines in the so-called “script-thingie” for the show.
A receptionist calls to let Mrs. President know that Jack and Renee are on the phone. Mrs. President is hoping that they’re calling from “Who Wants To Save The World”, and that she’s one of their lifelines. She really doesn’t want to hear what Jack says. Jack interrupts, and lets her know that HE knows all about the surface to air rockets. She relents and tells Jack all about the rockets, and Hodges. She thinks she can talk Hodges out of it! Jack wants to act quickly, but all this “talking” is slowing things down! Jack wants Mrs. President to trust him… she tells Jack that she expects Jack will do what he thinks is right!
1:09 am – Greg and Jonas arrive at the White House, and are pretty impressed there are no signs of Juma, dead bodies or bullet holes. Jonas heads into the meeting with Mrs. President.
1:10 am – Larry talks on the phone with Renee, and says that “technically” Mrs. President didn’t authorize anything. Good thing that Jack is “technical”, and it turns out Larry is still upset about what happened before, so he wants to see some explosions too.
At FBI, Jack calls Tony and gives him the “go-ahead” as long as he isn’t detected. It’s fine if he’s detected by blowing stuff up, but anytime before that is a “no-no”.
1:11 am – The bad guys want to do another “perimeter” check. We get a good look at the rockets, and they look exactly like the rockets you used to fill up with water and shoot off when you were a kid. Except these are much bigger. If they work anything like the little rockets, there’s no chance these things can launch.
Tony arrives pointing a gun at one of the thugs. He knocks one guy out, and takes another thug downstairs through some doors that look like they were left over from Auntie Em’s House in “Wizard of Oz”.
1:17 am – Jonas arrives with Greg, insults him in an introduction to the President, and says that the Oval Office smells funny. She tells him that’s because very patriotic people have been in that office, and that’s why he doesn’t recognize the smell. Jonas tries to suggest that he had nothing to do with Juma, despite Mrs. President’s pesky “evidence”.
Jonas tries to give Mrs. President a sales pitch for his company, to help shape military policy, and he even brought color brochures he just got from Kinko’s! Mrs. President says this is “blackmail”. Jonas says that, technically, it’s “PowerPoint”.
1:22 am – Tony goes around putting C4 everywhere and is about to leave, and then he stupidly un-handcuffs the guy he took downstairs. Upstairs, the thug on the ground that Tony took out was faking it, and he knocks the remote out of Tony’s hand! The other thug types in “867-5309”, signaling they’re about to launch Jenny, and the rockets onto the last train to Clarksville, where the missiles are pointing.
A guy downstairs with the rockets wants to be super-sure everything is a “go” for the rocket attack, and this gives Tony just enough time to get the remote back, set it off and dive for cover.
Tim interrupts the PowerPoint presentation Jonas is giving Mrs. President. They both leave Jonas and Greg in the Oval Office, where they could steal ANYTHING… anyway, they leave, and Tim tells her that they detected a giant explosion at Starkwood, and he’s about 57% sure this has something to do with those rockets.
A lot of FBI agents come back into the Oval Office and Mrs. President orders them all arrested. Jonas tells her that he’s a small cog in a big machine, like an ant in a huge swarm. She tells him he’s a big ant hole.
He tells her that it’s not over, and he won’t tell her what he means.
1:31 am – Renee tells Jack that the current plot device, the nerve agent, is no longer a problem, since it all burned up.
Jack gets a phone call from Mrs. President, and she thanks him. Jack thinks this is a good opportunity to ask for a pardon for Tony and … ooo! He sees something shiny! Jack forgets what he was talking about. Mrs. President says she’ll take care of Tony and that she wishes she could help Jack. Jack says he has to go to see the Doctor. Mrs. President asks the CDC to keep her informed of what’s happening to Jack.
1:32 am – Tony’s safe, and arrested. Larry is rounding up arresting people. The thug that Tony nearly let get the better of him is there too. Renee says she has to go… KIM BAUER is here! She hasn’t been here in quite a while.
Tony asks about Kim, and is worried about Jack. Larry tells him that he’s pretty impressed that Tony helped out the way he did, and orders Tony’s handcuffs removed.
1:33 am – Jack talks to the doctor, and he can’t quite explain what’s happening, since he keeps forgetting things, and doesn’t feel like himself. The doctor says that one of the things that might happen is that his personality might change! Jack asks if this means he’ll be able to do better Christopher Walken impressions, and she says she’s not sure how the gas will act, since it’s been weaponized. Jack looks very concerned that he might turn into a wimp. He leaves the room.
1:37 am – Jack tells Renee that he needs to start telling someone everything before he completely forgets about what happened today. Renee tells him about Kim, and Jack gets REALLY upset that Renee brought Kim in. Renee tells Jack that Kim has been trying to see him for quite a while. At least several seasons. Jack’s surprised Kim wanted to see him, since she could have just turned on the TV or bought the DVDs.
1:43 am – Kim and Jack talk a bit, but have even more awkward silences. She apologizes for leaving the show several seasons ago, and blames herself. She wants to make up for this lost time by using “stem cell” therapy, which involves a risk to her, and a “possible” reversal of the problem that Jack is having. (“Possible”, in this case, means 100% recovery). Kim gives him a hug, and he seizes up again, nearly giving her a head lock. He asks her to leave, and he start to cry.
1:47 am – At Starkwood, a random FBI agent says everything is “OK”, which of course means that everything is definitely NOT “OK”, and about a nanosecond later, a Starkwood thug shoots him. Nearly immediately, Agent Davis shows up, and gets the thug to put down his Hannah Montana book bag. Davis looks in it, and there’s a thermos inside. Well, not so much a thermos, as a container of the gas weapon that was completely destroyed. Except for this canister. And probably many others like it that haven’t been found yet. Davis calls Larry, and while explaining everything to Larry, he lets his guard down and gets attacked by the thug. Davis is shot, and the thug takes off, completely ignoring Larry yelling into the handheld radio Davis was using. Davis ignores this too, mainly because he was shot. And maybe dead.
Larry calls Renee, and lets her know the season isn’t over yet, because they have to go find that canister. They’re both hoping that SOMEBODY might be able to help them. If they only knew someone with experience in situations like this.
1:54 am – The Starkwood thug drives, while Larry and Tony fly by helicopter looking for him. Renee has to endure some stupid questions from Janis, who starts saying things like “Hey! I thought TONY destroyed ALL the bioweapons.” (Nearly a whole Janis free hour, ruined). Janis finds the suspect, and Renee tells everyone that they need to set up a roadblock at the county line.
The helicopter finds the guy, who is driving on completely empty streets. They shine a huge spotlight on the car, hoping that maybe the driver won’t notice that he’s be found. The suspect gets out of the car, bright lights all around, and puts his hands over his head to hide while he runs away.
The helicopter lands, the suspect shoots the helicopter pilot, in that order, which is good for Tony and Larry. The thing that’s bad for Larry and Tony at this point is that they’re getting shot at.
Larry gets shot and goes down. Tony goes to help him and has his back turned on the suspect. Larry gurgles a warning. Instead of getting up and shooting the suspect, Tony turns and covers Larry’s mouth to suffocate him! Larry forgets to breath through his nose, and ends up dying.
Tony asks to see the bio-weapon, and tells the thug he’ll work out a story so he can get away!
2:00 am – Time’s up!
Commercial – Chloe’s in a commercial! She’s complaining about global warming! She says that Jack can’t shoot it.
NEXT TIME ON 24: TONY SHOOTS HIMSELF! RENEE IS UPSET! JONAS WANTS OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE JAIL! A BUILDING BLOWS UP! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!