Previously on “24″, we discovered:
Renee is pretty handy with a knife. She tried to help Jack get rid of a kidney stone, but missed; Despite making bad decisions in the past, Dana still hasn’t learned to NOT make bad decisions; Arlo is still a stalker; Jack can take a knife to the gut, and will just walk it off; if you take Jack hostage, it’s only because he let you do it, and because he wants the chance to kill as many bad guys as possible.
The following occurs between 11 pm and 12am:
11:00 pm – Dana leaves to make a phone call to Kevin, who is hiding out in a strip bar, not understanding that nobody can hide anything in a place like that. Dana figures that this is a great time to say goodbye to Kevin and Nick while they’re busy drooling, but the boys have other ideas. They want to continue their operation. Dana tells them she’s not interested in playing Doctor, and they explain what they really mean is to continue stealing with Dana’s help. Otherwise they’ll tell everyone she used to be a bad Cylon. Arlo arrives to stalk Dana, but when she sees him, he improvises and tells her that she shouldn’t be sneaking off making private phone calls, or he’ll tell Cole about Kevin. Arlo has no idea who Kevin really is, since he’s only heard his name, but he’s pretty sure it’s that bird from the movie “Up.”
With that out of the way, Arlo lets Dana know that Jack has taken the Russians hostage – they just don’t know that yet.
11:05 pm – Cole explains to Hastings that they haven’t figured out where Jack is. Hastings is upset that Renee used Vlad as a pin cushion. Hastings starts to question Dana about her absence, but Chloe steps and tells Hastings that Dana was helping implement a TCP/IP protocol completely in Flash. Hastings accepts this and leaves. When Dana tries to thank Chloe, Chloe tells her that she just wants help finding Jack before he kills all the hostages he’s taken.
11:06 pm – Bazhaev, fresh from killing his youngest son, does what any father would do: He’s working on replicating something he saw Gordon Ramsay make on “Kitchen Nightmares.” A bunch of Jack’s hostages bring Jack into the basement kitchen where Bazhaev is working, and he tells them to put Jack in a room down the hall. He’s surprised to learn that Vlad is dead, and want’s to know how Jack knows about the nuclear fuel rods. (They still don’t realize that FOX has been running commercials mentioning them for weeks).
11:08 pm – Bazhaev goes to meet with Jack, who is still pretending to be Harry Potter, only without the glasses. Jack is now is now tied to a chair. Jack tells him that he’s been looking for a horcrux, and some nuclear fuel rods. Bazhaev wants to know how Jack knows about the fuel rods, and Jack tells him that they intercepted some owls, and found out that Fahrad wanted to buy the fuel rods, but Jack’s people want to do the deal instead. Bazhaev looks skeptical, and Jack won’t tell him whom he’s working for. Jack offers him $250 million dollars in small unmarked bills, or in change if he really wants it that way. Bazhaev doesn’t believe that Jack isn’t really a cop, so he orders one of his men to “make Jack talk”, which probably isn’t going to end well for the bad guys.
Josef arrives telling his father that he buried his younger brother. Bazhaev explains his skepticism, and won’t tell Fahrad what’s going on until Dmitry has a chance to “talk” with Jack.
Apparently Dmitry is a car mechanic, because he just happens to have a portable car starter with him. He zaps Jack right in the area where Renee wounded him. Knowing Jack, that only sealed the wound and has made him stronger.
11:16 pm – Hasting is on the phone with Mrs. President, and gives her all the information he has on the situation, which means nothing.
Fahrad is on the phone with one of his lackeys. The lackey tells him that at the rate Hasan is cracking down on the opposition, they won’t be able to reconstitute their nuclear program. Fahrad tells him it should be as easy as adding water because that is how he reconstitutes all kinds of other things. Fahrad tells him that the nuclear material should be there within the hour.
Bazhaev enters the room and tells Fahrad that some guy dressed like Harry Potter is downstairs working on his Electric Boogaloo, and wants to outbid him for the nuclear fuel rods. Bazhaev tells Fahrad he has halted the shipments, because he doesn’t want to expose himself. Fahrad agrees that nobody wants to see something like that, but unless he gets those fuel rods, they’ll be worthless to him because of Hasan’s crackdown. Fahrad starts to complain at Bazhaev about the whole Hasan assassination screw up, which ticks Josef off enough to pull a gun on Fahrad. Bazhaev tells Josef to take Fahrad to the rendezvous point to wait.
11:19 pm – Renee arrives at CTU with Cole. She starts to question Hastings about whether or not he’s got a lead, and that he should be using all the great CTU technology they have. Hastings counters by telling her that they did have a good lead, but Renee stabbed it in the eye. Hastings then tells Chloe to debrief Renee and to have her get a psych eval, but to make sure she doesn’t have anything sharp at her disposal. Chloe tells Hastings that there’s nothing sharp about anything at CTU, but he ignores this and leaves.
Renee is upset that Jack’s been taken, but Chloe convinces her that she needs to write a statement.
11:20 pm – Dana tells Cole that she needs to talk to him. She tells him that she wants to tell him why she’s been acting weird for the last couple of days, which is especially weird since she’s only heard from Kevin within the last few HOURS. There’s no telling what else has been making her act weird before that.
She tells him that there are things about per past that she hasn’t told him. She looks very concerned that he’s not going to believe anything about her Battlestar Galactica days, but suddenly seems convinced she knows how to handle the whole situation.
11:22 pm – Meanwhile, back in the torture room where Jack is hanging from one of the rafters, Jack is still being tortured. This time, Dmitry pulls off Jack’s bandage really quickly, but even THAT doesn’t seem to faze Jack. Dmitry asks Jack who he’s working for, and then presses Jack’s wound, in the mistaken belief that either this is will make Jack say a pre-recorded message, or that it will turn him off like it would Data. Dmitry continues to torture Jack until Jack pretends to fall asleep. Jack, deciding that he’s questioned Dmitry long enough grabs the electrical grip from him with his FEET and uses it to shock Dmitry until Dmitry passes out. Or is dead. Whatever.
Jack notices that the pipe he’s hanging from is leaking, and climbs over to the leaking area to try clean his feet. He also tries to release himself.
11:30 pm – Hasan’s daughter goes to talk to Hasan, and she’s pretty upset at Tarin’s arrest. She also tells him that she’s seeing Tarin on the side, and that they both hope to be on a couple’s version of Survivor. Hasan is very upset by this, since that show is on another network, and tells her that he doesn’t want her to see him again.
11:33 pm – Jack struggles with the pipe a bit more, but his feet are completely clean now, so all is well. Dmitry, who wasn’t quite dead yet, wakes up just as Jack causes the pipe to come crashing down to the floor. Dmitry makes the classic mistake of bringing a knife to a Jack fight, and after a brief struggle gets killed by Jack, even though Jack is completely tied up. Jack frees himself. He goes through Dmitry’s pockets for a breath mint, but only finds a cell phone. The cell phone doesn’t work. Jack decides a better option might be to just leave. He sees that Bazhaev is still in the building, and that he happens to be near the fuse box. The next thing you know, the entire place goes dark. Bazhaev is smart enough to realize it might be “Muir”, and tells them to look for him.
Now, despite the rest of the place being completely dark, there is still light near the fuse box. The lackey that went to check on it tries to turn the power back on, but Jack jumps down from the ceiling where he was hiding using his Spiderman powers. It takes Jack about two seconds to kill this guy, and he finds a cell phone on this guy. He calls Chloe to talk about how great it has been to FINALLY take out some bad guys, and asks her to trace the phone call to get some CTU agents over there right away. He puts down the phone and starts hunting more bad guys.
He finds one to shoot, and does so. Bazhaev sees this, and kicking it old school, shoots at Jack with a shotgun. Jack, being the more modern guy that he is, dives for a machine gun, and shoots that. He completely misses Bazhaev and dives under a table. Bazhaev takes this opportunity to shoot some of the glassware on the tables, which he didn’t like anyway and misses Jack by a mile. Bazhaev moves in close to see if he’s killed Jack. Jack uses this to his advantage and knocks out Bazhaev by pushing the table on him, chalking up one of the few times that Jack has knocked out someone using a table that had been set for a formal occasion.
11:42 pm – Cole explains to Hastings that they’re sending a team to Jack. Hastings wants to know where Dana is, and Arlo completely tattletales on her, saying that she left 15 minutes ago, or in Jack terms, two dead bodies go.
Renee is relieved to hear that Jack is OK, and wants to talk to him. Chloe tells her that she needs to go to the infirmary to have her head examined, and takes her there.
11:43 pm – CTU finally makes it to Jack, who takes this opportunity to do a nice product placement with his Sprint phone. Jack asks to speak to Bazhaev alone, and promises not to kill him very much while he questions him. Jack tries to cut a deal to get information about the rods, telling Bazhaev that Josef and Oleg will be part of the deal too. Bazhaev tells Jack that he shot Oleg, because he only had a bit part in the storyline. Bazhaev wants full immunity.
Jack calls Chloe, and gets conferenced in to the conversation with Hastings and Mrs. President. Jack convinces them that Bazhaev won’t talk without a deal, and Mrs. President tells Jack that she’ll tell Bazhaev that personally.
11:46 pm – Back at CTU, Cole confronts Arlo about Dana and wants to know what Arlo was implying. He tells Cole, “I don’t want to be the one that tells you this”, when you can see it in his eyes that he TOTALLY wants to be the one that tells Cole this: Dana went to meet “some guy”. Cole thinks that Arlo must have misunderstood, because “Sum Gai” is one of her favorite Chinese meals. As proof, Arlo shows Cole the picture of Kevin up close and personal with Dana.
Hastings interrupts and tells Cole to go to a helipad to meet with his team. Cole leaves, but not before telling Arlo to trace where Dana is. He calls her.
Dana gets the call, but doesn’t answer. She’s spying on Kevin in that club he’s in.
Cole leaves a message, and enters an elevator. In the elevator, he helps one of his men buckle a strap. Unfortunately for this man, whenever someone helps someone else with a strap, the person who gets help is sure to die soon.
11:55 pm – Kayla tries to see Tarin and guilts the guard into telling her when Tarin will be transported out of the area.
11:56 pm – Hastings paces back and forth while giving Cole instructions. The helicopter approaches, but there aren’t any hostiles in sight, probably due to the fact that a HELICOPTER IS RIGHT THERE. The helicopter lands. They use a radiation detector to find the truck with the fuel rods, and open the door.
Instead of fuel rods, they discover the body of someone whose last act on earth was to try and stare at the hole someone put into his forehead. The person he was with is dead too, and the fuel rods are gone! One of the CTU agents notices that a necklace, the same necklace that Josef took from Oleg was hanging on the door. Josef took the rods, and forgot the necklace! Boy, his father is going to be mad.
Jack gets the call about the missing rods, and confronts Bazhaev. Bazhaev tells Jack they must have gone to the wrong truck that contained nuclear fuel rods, since they are so easy to mix up. Hastings tells Jack that they also found Oleg’s necklace, and Bazhaev realizes it was Josef who took the fuel rods.
Meanwhile, Josef makes a phone call to Fahrad and tells him that he’ll have the fuel rods to their location in a few minutes. Josef must be very strong, because somehow he got that huge box with the fuel rods in the back of his truck.
12:00 am – Time’s up!
NEXT TIME ON “24″: Jack yells! Lots of phone calls! Dana has a silencer! Someone tries to pull a gun on Jack!
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!