After Jack kills people with his feet, he likes to wash those feet off using leaky pipes; When Russians don’t like table settings, they’ll use a shotgun to rearrange things; Arlo is still a big, weasel; Josef left a necklace behind as his calling card to become known as the super villain “The Jeweler”; It should have occurred to someone to look for a eerily glowing truck, since it’s the one carrying the radioactive fuel rods.
The following takes place between 12 am and 1 am:
12:00 am – Josef arrives with the fuel rods. He doesn’t seem the least bit winded, despite what it must have taken to single-handedly get that thing in the back of the van. Meanwhile, Jack is with Bazhaev and coordinates a call to Josef through Chloe. Josef answers the call, expecting an apology about the pizza he ordered for delivery, but it’s just his father Sergei.
Jack, in an attempt to scare Josef into giving up the rods, announces that “Jack Bauer” is talking to him. Jack tells him that Sergei was able to negotiate an immunity idol away from Survivor, even though it’s on another network. Josef isn’t impressed by this at first, because he’s still pretty upset about Sergei shooting Olaf. Finally, after Sergei points out that people with real guns are going to start coming after him. Sergei also says it’s likely that the nuclear fuel rods are going to make Josef’s hair fall out. Josef finally asks how handing over the fuel rods would work and agrees to hand them over.
Unfortunately for Josef, Fahrad is on a nearby rooftop with a guy holding one of those laser pointers. The guy points the laser pointer at Josef, sets off a loud “bang” sound effect and Josef falls over dead from fright.
In his deft management style, Hastings wants Jack to bring back Josef to CTU, clearly not paying attention to the fact they have no idea where Josef is. Fahrad and his bad guys get to the van, not realizing that the phone Josef was using was still on. Jack over hears part of their plan, which is that they need to make a new plan. At this point, one of the bad guys who has had a very bad experience with overage charges, sees the cell phone and stamps on it. This doesn’t seem to faze any of the other people with him, since they’re used to his hatred of cell phones.
12:07 am – Chloe analyzes the voice they were able to record from the cell phone before it was smashed, and discovers it was indeed Fahrad.
Arlo comes over and tells Hastings that Rob from the White House is on the phone.
Chloe calls Jack to ask how long it’s going to take to get Bazhaev to them, and to ask how he is doing after getting zapped with a car battery jumper cable. Jack says he is O.K. because he already cheered himself up by killing a couple of the bad guys. He then asks to talk to Renee who offers to sew him up as soon as she sees him, since she WAS the one that knifed him. They make some idle conversation about how Renee has to stick to her story, and that everything will be all right.
12:08 am – Hastings is in his office, and man, he’s excited because he gets to take custody of a real live Russian mafia guy within the next 15 minutes. He takes Rob’s call, and Rob rehashes everything we’ve seen over the last 8 minutes.
Rob is worried that Hastings is going to fail, which while it would be bad for Hastings, Rob asks Hastings to see the big picture: It’s going to be REALLY bad for Rob if things fail. So, he hatches a plan: Blame Renee! He’s already set things into motion, and has even ordered some “Blame Renee” t-shirts and bumper stickers. Hastings doesn’t want to blame Renee for anything, even questioning the fact that Vlad was stabbed fifteen times, since technically it could be self-defense. If it had been 200 times, then maybe it could have been on purpose, but even then he isn’t sure. Rob is sending Kristin Smith to “handle” everything.
12:14 am – Cole gets a phone call from Arlo, and asks about Dana. Arlo starts to explain that he suspects Dana is the last Cylon, but Cole just wants to know where she is. Arlo sends the coordinates of where Dana is to Cole’s phone, and Cole leaves to go after her.
12:16 am – Dana pulls up her car to a secluded area where Kevin has parked his van. It wouldn’t have been any kind of problem finding it, since the van is light blue with dents and large white pull tabs on top. Kevin and his buddy are in the van with a couple of girls. Dana is in her car with a gun, a silencer and a couple of bullets.
12:17 am – Hastings asks Arlo where Dana is. Arlo tries to deflect the question by asking “Why, do you need her for something?”, which is possibly the stupidest question of all time, considering what’s going on right now at CTU. An analyst tells Hastings that Kristin has already arrived, breaking the land speed record to get there, even by CTU standards.
Kristin has pretty much decided that Renee is already guilty, and has even brought a hangman’s noose with her. She also wants a video tape record of what happens in the room, but doesn’t want any close surveillance of what’s about to take place when she talk to Renee. Hastings doesn’t find this the least bit suspicious.
12:18 am – Renee is in the room, looking pretty concerned, and I have to say that it looks like someone else’s hands on her neck because it looks like she has giant man hands. In any event, Chloe comes into the room with something for Renee to sign. Hastings interrupts, and asks Chloe to leave while Kristin “talks” to Renee. Chloe protests, because she’s seen ’24’ before, and knows what might be going on.
12:19 am – Fahrad and Samir drive to a staging area, and try to figure out a way to get the nuclear rods out of the country. They suspect that Fed-Ex or UPS might be the best way to do it, but they still have to figure out what kind of packing materials to use.
They get out of the van, and Samir introduces Fahrad to all the guys he’s recruited. Fahrad is a bit surprised to find out that Samir’s solution to get the rods out of the country is to blow them up. Samir explains that the best way to get America’s attention is to set a bomb off. Fahrad realizes how crazy this is, but goes along with it anyway, since that’s what you do when you’re alone and there are 15 guys with guns standing around waiting for you to agree with them.
12:27 am – Kristin questions Renee about her relationship with Vlad, trying to play both good cop and bad cop at the same time. Renee looks suspicious of Kristin’s questioning, especially the part where she asks about Renee stabbing Vlad 15 times. Renee insists she acted in self-defense. Kristin keeps asking Renee to “do the right thing”. Renee doesn’t answer, because it’s more dramatic this way.
12:31 am – Jack arrives with Bazhaev. Chloe meets them, and tells Jack that Renee is being debriefed by Kristin. Skipping the opportunity for a stupid joke, Jack asks Chloe where this is taking place, because he realizes that they’re setting Renee up to take the fall for the failure of the mission. If the mission is a success, a lot of people will take credit. If it fails, Renee will be the one that is blamed. Jack explains this is the way things happen at companies all over the world, and it’s happening right now at CTU.
12:34 am – A guard tries to stop Jack from entering the debriefing room, which works for about one millisecond. In the next millisecond, Jack is able to disable to guard, use the guard’s own hand to unlock the security door, and knock him out to the floor. Jack enters the room and tells Renee not to say anything because she’s being set up. He even gets his hands around Kristin’s throat to “explain” things. They go to leave.
The door opens and the guard Jack attacked confronts them with a gun. Jack treats this with utter contempt, since it’s only one gun, and hand gun at that. As they move to leave, a cowardly guard zaps Jack with a taser from behind, knocking him down.
12:33 am – At Fahrad’s nuclear fuel rod party, they’ve finally figured out how to use the fork lift and now have the fuel rods several feet off the ground. Fahrad asks about how they’re going to blow this up. Samir says that getting explosives is easy, since they’re close to an Explosives-R-Us outlet, but getting a detonator is something they’re working on. Fahrad announces that he knows a professor with a degree in detonatorology, but he needs to talk to the professor in private. Nobody finds this the least bit suspicious. Samir tells him to go use a phone, and someone escorts Fahrad to the office.
On the way to make the phone call, Fahrad makes small talk with his escort: How’s the weather been? How are the kids? What is the intended target for the nuclear bomb? The guy won’t answer, so Fahrad grabs a handy wrench and hits the guy with it. There’s a brief struggle, and Fahrad takes off running. Everyone else realizes Fahrad is running, and they take off after him.
12:39 am – Jack is escorted to Hastings’ office, and he interrogates Hastings briefly about the woman from the Justice Department coming in to frame Renee. Jack wants to call Mrs. President, but Hasting points out that she’s not very inclined to protect someone from murder charges, considering she sent her own daughter away for that. Hastings asks Jack to sit down, and Jack does, only because he chooses to do so, and it puts him into a good attack position, just in case something needs attacking.
12:40 am – Chloe enters Hastings office to let them both know that Fahrad is on the phone, and wants to talk. Good thing Fahrad has CTU on speed dial. Fahrad tells them that he needs help. Since he lost the fuel rods to some people that are even crazier than he is, who want to blow up something in New York, he wants help getting the heck out of there. Hastings assures him that they’ll get him out. Fahrad doesn’t realize the irony of this, since that’s pretty much what they told Josef about forty minutes ago, and that didn’t end up very well. Fahrad tells Hastings he’s near a boat warehouse. Hastings tells Chloe that someone named “Owen” has to get a team together and get Fahrad. From the way she reacts, Chloe doesn’t seem to have much faith in “Owen”.
Since Jack is done debriefing Hastings, and has the information he needs about the nuclear weapons, he leaves. Hastings says that Jack has to leave the building, which is all Jack wanted in the first place.
12:42 am – After all this time just sitting around in her car, Dana watches as the women that were with Kevin and Nick leave, and then makes her move towards the van. At that moment, Cole drives up, surprising Dana. She asks what he’s doing there and he says, “We’re in the middle of an operation, you can’t just leave your post”, not realizing he’s done the EXACT SAME THING. They argue briefly, and Cole insists that Dana explain what’s happening.
She tells him that she her real name is Birdy Goobleplop, but had it changed to Jenny Scott.
12:49 am – Fahrad is still hiding, and Samir’s men are still hunting him. Back at CTU, Arlo explains to Hastings the layout of the area where they’re looking for Fahrad. It turns out that “Owen” is the same guy that Cole helped with the vest in the elevator. “Owen” looks about 12 years old. Hastings uses his vast experience with field ops to tell Owen that it’s a standard op. As Jack leaves, he points out that there’s nothing standard about it. Hastings, realizing that Jack is usually right about these things, asks him what he means. Jack points out that operations like this are a little trickier than usual, especially since there’s no “Jack Bauer” involved. Jack tells Hastings that he’ll bring in Fahrad in exchange for covering for Renee. Hastings insists that Jack stay on for the rest of the mission. Jack agrees.
12:54 am – Dana explains about the warehouse robbery. Cole realizes that Dana is there to kill Kevin, and doesn’t want to hear anything she has to say. He gets out of the car, and it appears he intends to give Kevin and Nick lead poisoning. After discussing the situation with Kevin and Nick, he gives them the option of leaving the show right now, or going to prison. Kevin agrees to leave. Cole slams the door shut.
Nick really doesn’t want to hear about this, and after a brief argument, stabs Kevin in the same place in the gut where Jack got stabbed. It turns out Kevin isn’t nearly as tough as Jack is, but is able to warn Dana before Nick shoots Cole. Cole shoots Nick, and Kevin dies in Dana’s arms.
1:00 am – TIME’S UP
NEXT TIME: Jack and Renee exchange love phone calls; Dana and Cole practice making mummies; Mrs. President finds out about the bomb; Fahrad is STILL on the phone with CTU.
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK