I post over on Dave Barry’s weekly 24 blog, along with a lot of other folks.
Here’s what I posted this week:
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Summary
2:00 am – Bill’s on the phone with Haig, and tells her that Jack’s on an airplane. She’s horrifed that Jack didn’t use his frequent stow away miles. She tells Bill that Chloe needs to contact her after she leaves.
2:01 am – Really slow homeland security guys walk up to Bill’s house. They look behind the TV briefly, move a keyboard, and in all of five seconds, declare that Chloe is not here. They were obviously expecting her to be dressed as a personal computer, like she was last Halloween. One of them notices that Bill’s Commodore 64 has a MAJOR upgrade, and that only Chloe could have done it.
2:04 – Creepy says he’ll make it really bad for Bill if he doesn’t tell him where Chloe is. Bill points out that Chloe was able to walk right out of CTU after pickpocketing Creepy’s id, his cell phone, and his underwear. I think he’s threatening that he’ll talk to Bill even more than he already has… Bill looks a little creeped out by that, but refuses to talk. Haig tells Secret Agent Ed to bring him in. Creepy doesn’t like how Haig is handling things.
2:06 – Chloe walks into a hotel bar with really bad lounge music, figuring that no one would bother her there. She calls Haig and asks for info about the plane.
2:07 – Chloe calls Jack, who’s on the plane, in the cargo hold with some dogs in cages. The cargo hold is quiet now, and he looks relieved that he doesn’t have to put up with any more of that yipping he’s been hearing. From Audrey, not the dogs.
2:08 – Leisure Suit Larry is hitting on women at the bar.
2:09 – Jack, who still hasn’t turned off the ringer his phone, gets a call from Chloe who tells him where the air marshal, Christopher Outt, is sitting on the plane. Jack lifts a floor tile in the back of the plane, and no one is there to see him. Jack wonders for a second what an air marshal would be doing on a diplomatic flight, but then decides to completely ignore this plot point.
2:10 – Jack grabs a seat next to the air marshal, elbows the air marshal in the HEAD, and grabs the air marshal’s peanuts. Jack really, really likes peanuts.
Commercial
2:15 – Jack STILL hasn’t turned off his phone, and gets a phone call from Chloe. She knows where the Guy Who’s Got The Recording (GWGTR) is, and Jack gets that guy to come to the back of the plane. I think this guy’s name is Mr. Unger.
2:16 – Jack closes the curtains in the back galley, which is NOT a good sign for Mr. Unger. Jack asks for Unger’s ticket stub, and then punches it. Unger passes out in a choke hold, and Jack drops him into the baggage compartment right onto a poodle, which makes a whining noise that sounds a lot like Audrey.
2:16 – Mrs. Manilow can’t find her medication. A secret service guy (who I think is a robot, because he has a telephone hookup in his ear), won’t let her.
2:17 – Mrs. Manilow calls Cheney Looking Guy and says she wants to see him. CLG looks hopeful this might be his big chance.
2:18 – Mrs. Manilow REALLY REALLY wants her medication. She starts speaking in riddles to CLG, who looks puzzled, even for this show. She convinces him to get her meds, and he leaves.
2:20 – Graham, one of Manilow’s secret guys that looks like a really uptight writer, calls Manilow to discuss the run-away episode that’s happening. He states the obvious that it would be REALLY REALLY bad if Jack got that recording, because because if Jack got it to Chloe, it would be all over the Internet like a flash, and they’d get no royalties.
2:21 – CLG goes to Manilow telling him that Mrs. Manilow is really upset, CLG presses the point, and Manilow tells him that the reason Mrs. Manilow is upset is that she’s married to a handbag. CLG completely agrees.
2:22 – Back to the cargo hold in the plane, Jack tries to find out what Unger know about Robocop.
2:23 – Leisure Suit Larry starts to bother Chloe, and offers her a drink. She calls the airport.
2:24 – Back on the plane, the stewardess tells everyone there is massive turbulence in the area. In reality, Jack is just kicking Mr. Unger’s butt all over the cargo area. The stewardess notices that someone’s missing and that the air marshal is down.
2:25 – Call to the cockpit, and the steward on the phone tells the pilot, Captain Oveur, that the air marshal has been assaulted. The pilot says “Assaulted what? Peanut?
You are incredible!