24 – Two Days Later – Hour 23
The following takes place between 5 pm and 6 pm
5:00 pm – Jack, Bill, Chloe and Morris find themselves standing on the sidewalk of an urban street. It’s dark. They walk down the street trying to get their bearings, and figure out where they are.
Jack asks, “What did you think he meant, ‘Send us some place where we can do no harm’? Does he really think after all we’ve done today to stop their plans they can …”
5:02 pm – Bill interrupts, “What was that?!” He points towards an alley. “Did you see that? It was huge!”
They all look, but don’t see anything.
Chloe says, “I think we have bigger problems… look back there!”
They turn around. The street and building abruptly end in a dark void. Jack steps up to it, and puts his hand out to touch it.
Bill says, “Jack! What are you doing? How can you touch something like that?”
Morris says, “Relax! He dated Audrey. How much worse could this be?”
Jack wheels around at Morris, “One more crack about Audrey, and you might not make it back!”
5:05 pm – Chloe steps between them. “Look, we’ve had a hard day. Both of you need to settle down. We have to find a way to contact Fenster. What we really need is someone to ask where we are.”
5:06 pm – Music starts playing around them, and Jack inexplicably breaks out into song:
Sunny day,
Chasin’ these clowns away,
On my way to where perimeters are sweet,
Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Counter Terrorism Street?
Made them pay,
Everything will be A-okay,
Friendly analysts there
That’s where we’ll meet,
Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Counter Terrorism Street?
5:08 pm – Bill, Chloe and Morris all stop and look at Jack. Jack doesn’t understand why they’re staring at him. He asks, “What? What’s the matter?”
Chloe asks, “Uh… Why did you just break out into song like that?”
Jack says, “What? What are you talking about? I didn’t break out into song!”
Bill says, “Yeah…. Yeah you did, Jack. The lyrics weren’t even that good. Maybe you better sit down.”
Commercial
5:14 pm – Jack sits down on a curb near an apartment stoop and some trash cans as they talk about what to do next. Chloe says, “We need to find a telephone. Any time we’re near a telephone, Fenster has figured out a way to call us.”
None of the lights in upper part of the apartment building are lit, but they can see some lights and movement in a basement apartment. Morris volunteers to go ask if they can use a telephone, and leaves.
5:16 pm – Bill suddenly points down the street. “There it is again! Did you see that?” Chloe and Jack look up, but don’t see anything. Chloe tells Bill that he better sit down too.
5:17 pm – Morris comes back up the stairs, and tells everyone to follow him. At the top of the stairs he says, “Okay, I found some people. These guys are a little odd, but they were the only ones down there.”
Bill says, “Odd? Odd how?”
Morris says, “One of them looks jaundiced and has a single large eyebrow. Kind of like that intern we hired a couple of months ago. The other guy looks like he’s been doing full body applications of that sun tan lotion that turns your skin orange. Other than that, they seem okay… and they’ll let us use their telephone.”
Jack says, “Considering everything else we’ve seen today, that almost seems normal.”
5:19 pm – They go downstairs to the apartment, and Morris introduces everyone to the jaundiced man, “Bert”, and his orange roommate “Ernie”. He tells Bert and Ernie that their friend Jack isn’t feeling very well, and they need a place to stay while they wait for a phone call.
Chloe whispers to Bill, “I’m not sure what’s stranger… Us waiting for a phone call from Fenster, or them not realizing how we could be getting a phone call to their telephone when they haven’t even given us their number…”
Ernie says, “Bert and I were just going over our numbers! Care to join us?”
Chloe says, “You’re accountants? Uh… sorry we wouldn’t be able to help you.”
Ernie laughs, “No silly! Come on Bert!”
5:21 pm – They both recite numbers in a sing-song way, “One, two, three… four, five, six… seven, eight, nine… TEN!”
5:22 pm – Bert says, “Phew! I’m worn out! I’m going to go read my book.” He picks up a book on pigeons and sits down in a chair.
Ernie says, “It’s time for my bath! I have to get my rubber duckie!”
5:23 pm – Jack suddenly stands up and sings:
Rubber Bullets, you’re the one!
You make interrogations lots of fun!
Rubber Bullets, I’m awfully fond of you!
(woah, woah, be doh!)
Rubber Bullets, joy of joys!
When I shoot you, you make noise!
Rubber Bullets, you’re my very best friends, it’s true!
(Do do do doooo, do do)
Every day when I
Interrogate a guy who’s grubby,
I find a little bullet that’s
Cute and rubber and stubby!
(Rub-a-dub-a-dubby!)
Rubber Bullets, you’re so fine!
And I’m lucky that you’re mine!
Rubber Bullets, I’m awfully fond of you!
Jack sits back down.
5:25 pm – Chloe points at Jack and says, “There! Right there! You sang again! That’s what I’m talking about.”
Jack looks at Chloe like she’s crazy.
Ernie says, “I recognize the tune, but not the words!” He laughs. “Oh well, off to my bath!”
Commercial
5:31 pm – Everyone waits in the apartment while Ernie takes his bath. Morris tries to pick out a magazine, but the only magazines he can find either have to do with the alphabet, counting, pigeons or rubber ducks. The phone rings, and Jack answers it. It’s Nadia.
5:32 pm – Nadia says, “It worked! Jack, I can’t believe I got you! Fenster just pressed a button on the console here, and told me you’d be on the other end! I can see you on the television monitor above that door over there. Where are you?”
Bill says, “We’ve been chasing after some terrorists that caused that explosion near the restaurant. We chased them into the warehouse you’re standing in, and followed them through that door below the television monitor you’re looking at. Whatever you do, don’t go into that doorway!”
Nadia says, “We’re way ahead of you there. One of my men went through there, and came back ten seconds later. He came back babbling about seeing cavemen trying to adjust to today’s society. He said he was the most horrific thing he’d ever seen.”
Jack says, “Ten seconds! How did he get back so quickly?”
Nadia says, “He said he just walked right back through the portal. Can’t you do that?”
Jack says, “You don’t understand. We haven’t been walking through other portals. We keep changing places every hour. Right now we’re in someone’s basement. You have to find us a way out of here!’
Nadia says, “I have people working on that right now. We’ve been able to detect one other person that shouldn’t been there. That’s probably who you’re after. You have to get out there and find them, and see if you can get any information out of them.”
Jack says, “We’ve been TRYING to do that. These people don’t know anything! There’s somebody controlling this whole operation. THAT’S the person we’re after. Find him, and we’ll finish this once and for all. I’m going out there to find that other person you say is here, if it’s him, we can finish this! Call me back at this number if you find anything out. Just do it before the top of the hour!”
5:36 pm – Jack hangs up the phone, and explains to everyone what Nadia said. He asks Bert to find them if the phone rings again. Jack, Chloe, Bill and Morris walk out of the basement apartment and back upstairs to the curb. The street is still very quiet.
Jack tells Bill, “Stay right here in case the phone call comes in. We’re just going down the street a little way to see if we can find that guy Nadia was talking about.”
Bill hesitates, “Look, Jack… There’s something weird about this place. I keep seeing things no one else does.”
Jack says, “That’s why you’re staying here. If you see something that bothers you, just run back downstairs to Bert and Ernie’s apartment.”
Bill says, “Well, what do you want me to do in the meantime?”
Jack says, “I don’t know… hum something to yourself. If you see anything weird, just yell. Look, I know I can count on you.”
5:37 pm – Jack, Chloe and Morris head down the street. A voice in the distance says, “Count on you! Ha! Ha! One! Two! Ha! Ha! Three! Four! Ha! ha!”
Commercial
5:43 pm – Jack, Morris and Chloe peer into shop windows as they move down the street, but don’t see anything. Chloe says, “Bill’s right. This place does give me the creeps. Where is everyone?”
At this end of the street, there’s an old theatre. There’s a poster for a sold out performance of “Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem – Final Engagement”. Jack tries the door, and it opens. They go inside.
5:44 pm – They step into the lobby, and see posters on the wall of a frog, a pig, and other animals. They hear a noise in the theater. Jack motions for Chloe and Morris to keep quiet, and they make their way back to the theater.
Jack carefully opens the door, and enters. The theater is very large, complete with balconies, many plush velvet seats, and a large stage. Jack whispers, “I bet he’s in here. Spread out, we have to find this guy.”
5:45 pm – Jack, Morris and Chloe walk past row after row of seats, but don’t see anyone. Jack tells everyone he’s going to check the balconies, and suggests that Chloe and Morris check backstage.
Morris and Chloe make their way backstage. Row after row of costumes are on racks, but there’s no sign of anyone. They walk back towards the dressing rooms, and hear something. They stop outside a door marked “Miss Piggy”.
Chloe tells Morris, “Go check what it is!”
Morris says, “Me? You’re the one with the taser! You go check! Besides… My shoulder still hurts!”
Chloe raises her voice and says, “You’re going to milk that for all its worth, aren’t you? I bet the drill bit wasn’t even that big.”
Morris says, “Keep your voice down!”
Chloe raises her voice higher and says, “I’ll talk however loud I want to talk!”
5:47 pm – The dressing room doors flies open. A female pig with long hair and make up comes out of the room and screams when she sees Chloe and Morris. Miss Piggy yells, “HI-YA!” and hits Chloe right in the stomach. She yells, “HI-YA!” again, and hits Morris. They both double over, the wind knocked out of them. “DON’T YOU MORONS KNOW MOI WANTS IT QUIET?!” She realizes they’re not who she expected, “Hey! You’re not on the staff! Who are you people??” Her voice suddenly changes to a sickly sweet tone, “You’re not here with the pizzas moi ordered, are you?”
Morris breathes, “No… Just… checking… for intruders…” He gets a better look at her. “You’re a… you’re a…”
Miss Piggy’s voice gets deeper as she says, “Watch it buster.”
5:48 pm – Meanwhile, Jack walks up the stairs, and hears a noise coming from a balcony compartment.
Jack enters the compartment and sees two chairs with back plates labeled, Statler and Waldorf. Someone hits him from behind, knocking him to the floor. It’s the dark-hooded man they’ve been chasing! The man leaps from the balcony on to the stage below, rolling as he lands. Jack yells, “He’s on the stage! I see him!
The man almost involuntarily stands up and in his metallic voice sings:
It’s not easy bein’ seen!
Have to spend each day hoping not to be shot up in the thighs,
When I think…
Jack yells, “Chloe! Morris! Get him!”
5:49 pm – This snaps the figure out of his trance. He screams in frustration. Chloe, Morris and Miss Piggy come running from backstage, surprising the man. Chloe yells, “Hi-Ya!” and chops him right in the stomach, causing him to double over. The man falls to the ground. He rolls away and pulls something out of his pocket.
Jack leaps from the balcony to the stage. The man points a device at Jack, laughs and says, “The device is nearly complete. I just had to retrieve this spare hearing aide from the balcony. You’ll never live to see it though, Jack.” The man presses a button on the device he’s holding.
Nothing happens.
For a split second, everyone stands there as they realize nothing dramatic happened. The man screams in frustration. Jack tries to grab him, but the man touches something on his wrist and in a flash of light disappears.
Everyone’s quiet while they contemplate what just happened. Miss Piggy tells Chloe, “That’s a pretty good karate chop. If you ever need a job, look moi up.” She goes backstage.
Jack sits down in one of the chairs, puts his face in his hands and says, “We’re never going to get these guys…”
5:51 pm – Meanwhile, Bill looks around nervously as he stands at the top of the staircase to Bert and Ernie’s apartment. He starts humming to himself, and then starts to sing:
This is the song…
La la la la
Bill’s song.
La la la la
La la la la
Bill’s song…
La la la
La la la la la,
La la la
La la la la la,
I love to sing,
La la la la
Bill’s song,
La la la la,
La la la la,
Bill’s song!
I wrote the music
I wrote the words,
That’s Bill’s Song!
5:52 pm – The lid to a trash can goes flying off. A hairy green creature with large eyes pops its head out of the trashcan and yells, “Elmo! Do you have any idea what time it is? Some of us are trying to get our ugly sleep!”
Bill yells, “Jack!!” He runs downstairs and nearly falls on his way down.
5:53 pm – Chloe, Morris and Jack all come running back, and find Bill banging on the door to Bert and Ernie’s apartment. Bert opens the door, and Bill throws himself into the room. The only thing he says is, “Trash can! Trash can! Monster in the trash can!”
Bert says, “Where else would you expect him to be? That’s his home!”
Jack ignores this and says, “Calm down, Bill. We’ll take a look.”
5:54 pm – Everything looks as it did before. Jack looks around the trash cans, but doesn’t see anything. Bill points at the trash can we was talking about. Jack puts his hand on the can which the monster popped out of and starts to sing:
Oh, I love guns!
Give me a revolver or shotgun or Uzi,
Give me a flintlock, I’m not really choosey,
Yes, I love guns!
I have here two pistols that are battered and worn,
They’re a little bit rusty and the cases are torn,
A gift from my father the day I was born,
I love them because they’re guns!
Oh, I love guns!
Give me a rifle or Luger or Uzi,
Give me a machine gun and I’ll get all woozie,
Yes, I love guns!
I found an old shotgun at thirteen years old,
A black powder musket, it’s blue and it’s cold,
But I won’t trade it for a big pot o’ gold!
I love them because they’re guns!
5:56 pm – Chloe yells at Jack, and slaps him in the face. The slap snaps him out of his trance, and he stops singing. The trash can lid goes flying up, and the green monster pops out again, “Will you people be quiet! Some of us are trying to get some sleep around here!” The lid slams shut. Everyone looks startled.
Ernie comes out of the apartment holding a rubber duck, and drying an ear out with a towel. He says, “Don’t mind Oscar! He’s just a grouch!”
Morris whisper to Chloe, “Maybe you two are related?”
She tries to punch him in the arm, but he dodges, so she slaps him on the back of the head.
5:57 pm – Ernie continues, “Hey, your friend is on the phone!’ Ernie hands him a cordless phone.
Nadia says, “Jack! We’ve got an idea of how to get you back to us. From what we can tell, one of the computers here is automatically switching locations on the screens. We had some of our other analysts look at the equipment, and they saw that it’s missing a television remote control. If they’re using that, we might be able to use it to get you back here!”
Jack turns to Morris, Bill and Chloe and tells them, “Nadia says that one of them might have a television remote? We have to look for it.”
Chloe look startled. “Jack! When we were in the warehouse, I grabbed a television remote! I put it in my purse!”
Morris bursts out into song:
C is for Chloe, that’s good enough for me!
C is for Chloe, that’s good enough for me!
C is for Chloe, that’s good enough for me!
Oh, Chloe, Chloe, Chloe starts with C!
They all stare at Morris. He says, “I just sang something, didn’t I….?”
5:58 pm – Chloe says, “Oh forget that.” She looks in her purse. Bill says, “If you’re telling me that we could have gone home this whole time just by using the remote control in your purse…”
Chloe turns white as a sheet and says, “Oh, no…” She turns the purse over and out come broken pieces of a television remote. She says, “It must have broken while we were traveling around! How are we going to get back?”
Morris reaches towards the broken pieces on the ground and says, “Maybe we can fix…”
Bill points down the street and yells, “Giant brown elephant! It’s coming! There’s a big bird with it! Can’t you all see them?”
5:59 pm – There’s a bright flash.
Chloe, Bill and Jack watch as Morris reaches towards the ground… but the pieces of the remote aren’t there. They look up, and see that they’re standing at the bottom of a hill on a road which leads up to a spooky looking mansion.
6:00 pm – Time’s up!
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR THE FINAL EPISODE OF “24 – TWO DAYS LATER!”