Previously on “24”, just happened! Pay attention!
The following takes place between 7 am and 8 am.
7:00 am – At CTU, Dana continues to not be at her desk, and tries to leave. Dana gets stopped by a guard, and doesn’t know about the new security protocol that keeps people in CTU from leaving. The guard is really excited, because he hopes that one day they’ll also have a security protocol for keeping people from entering CTU too. Dana tries to tell him that she has some migraine medicine in her car that she’ll be willing to share with everyone, including everyone in the audience, if she can just go to her car. The guard tells her that he’s really into this whole “security” thing, but he’ll send a guard out for her. Dana decides that since she doesn’t have anything with her to kill them, she’ll take her chances and stay in CTU. She heads back to somewhere, but probably not back to her desk.
7:01 am – Chloe finds the car that left the parking garage, has a picture of the blonde woman, but doesn’t have any idea where she went. Mrs. President calls for Hastings. He tells her that Hasan was not in the vehicle that crashed. She says, “I don’t understand”. Hastings translates this into seven different languages and finally, after speaking English really slowly, Mrs. President gets the idea of what happened and that he’s still alive. Hastings tells her that they’ll keep her apprised. She tell him that’s great because she loves prizes.
7:03 am – Mrs. President explains to the Hasan Ladies that Omar is probably still alive, but in big trouble, so they’re welcome to hang around while they are still looking for him. An aide comes into the room and tells Mrs. President that the Russian foreign minister is here to meet with her, even though it’s 7:00 am in the morning. He apologizes for not being able to figure out all the time differences between Russia and the US. He has decided to do everything on Russian time, which makes it hard to get doctor’s appointments at decent hours that he’s used to. His name is Mr. Novakovich, which is the name that Carl Sagan used for his old PBS show when it ran in the Soviet Union.
She informs him that CTU is working on getting Hasan back. He wants to make it clear to her that if Hasan dies, there will be no agreement. She points out that just because he has a funny, long last name doesn’t mean she’s been baffled into thinking that the Russian’s hope the agreement doesn’t happen. She’s pretty sure that they want all of the Russian version of the Chucky Cheese (Chucka Cheezka) franchises to be under their control. He protests, and she backs off. She says she’s pretty sure that they only want part of the Chucka Cheezka market in Hasan’s fictional country.
7:06 am – Renee arrives at CTU to talk to Chloe, to let her know that Jack suspects there is a mole in CTU, which has never, ever, ever in a million years, ever, happened before. Except when it did. Chloe realizes the computer glitches that have been happening could be a coincidence, but thinks that the probability of that happening are two raised to the power of 2079460347, possibly much higher. Jack’s going to upload the data to her. Two seconds later, Jack is uploading the data.
7:07 am – Dana arrives in Hasting’s office, telling him she’s there to take off all those extra programs that have been slowing down his computer. He lets her look at the computer. He gets a phone call from Chloe, telling him that she has a really cool screen saver he’d be interested in, and that he has to see it right away.
7:08 am – As soon as he’s out of his office, Renee tells him that there’s a mole in CTU, and they’ve been feeding the terrorists data. Hastings asks how a little animal like that could feed a terrorist anything. Renee explains what “mole” means, and tells him they’ll know who it is very soon. The data comes in, and Hastings notices that it was one of the phones that the NSA gave them. He can tell because the printout says, “This phone was issued by the NSA.” Chloe looks up who had that phone and it was: DANA!
7:09 am – Meanwhile, Dana has used Hasting’s computer to authorize herself to leave. She goes down to the security guard station again, and instead of authorizing herself to leave, she’s accidentally authorized herself to be apprehended on sight. Jim, the security guard, tries to stop her by saying “stop”, which works about as well as you might expect. Dana shoots Jim, one of his friends, takes another person hostage and continues to try and leave. This is NOT going to look good on her performance evaluation.
7:10 am – Cole arrives and asks what’s going on. Hastings fills him in, and Cole is pretty darn surprised that Dana has turned out to be a lot more slimy than even he thought she was. Chloe, who has sped the video of Dana’s arrival into the parking garage up to Keystone Kops speed, tells everyone where she is.
Everyone immediately realizes what happened the last time they chased someone into a parking garage, and panics. Then someone realizes that it’s an underground parking garage, making it much tougher to go to the roof. Cole heads after Dana.
Dana has a gunfight for a while with some of the security guards. No one seems to be able to hit anything, except some windows. Dana jumps into a car and tries to make a getaway. As she’s leaving Cole jumps out from behind one of his favorite parking garage pylons and surprises Dana with some bullets in her tires. This causes her car to crash. Cole pulls Dana out of the car, and calls her a bad word. Then he makes a really mean face at her and finally lets her go when everyone else arrives on the scene. Hastings tries to question her, but she only wants to talk to Jack. Cole continues to make mean faces at Dana while she’s taken away.
Commercial
7:17 am – Dana is being fingerprinted in a holding cell. She makes some of Cole’s mean faces at the video camera that Cole and Hastings are watching. Cole explains that her real name is “Jenny Scott”, that she has a bad past, got involved with some bad guys, but that none of ever, ever came up on any security checks for getting her into her highly sensitive position at CTU.
Hastings asks point blank about where Cole and Dana were when they went AWOL. Cole doesn’t answer directly, and uses his weird northeastern accent to confuse Hastings into letting him stay on until they find Hasan.
A call comes in. Jack’s arrived at CTU. He’ll be in to see Dana as soon as he finishes signing autographs in the lobby.
Hastings tells Cole that he needs to be debriefed. Cole thinks this is no time to talk about underwear. Hastings says he needs people he can trust. Cole just wants his underwear.
7:19 am – Jack arrives, and Renee tells him that Dana is the mole. She says they should have realized this earlier, since she dated someone named “Cole” and it sounds so close to “mole” they should have seen it.
Nobody can figure out why Dana wants to talk to Jack, so Jack goes in to find out.
7:20 am – Jack enters the room, which has a cool garage door sliding door, to talk to Dana. She tells him that in exchange for information about where Hasan is, she wants some of the money she lost on this operation. She wants part of the cash that will be recovered from the terrorists, a bottle of Old Spice, two tickets to that thing she likes, a boat, and a horse.
Jack wants some proof, and Dana says that in about a half an hour Hasan is going to be about a foot shorter. Well, technically a head shorter. They’re going to live stream Hasan’s statement and beheading over the Internet, and if it’s on the Internet, you know it has to be true.
Jack tells her that he’ll go ask Mrs. President about this, but that if Hasan dies, Dana isn’t going to get diddly squat. As he leaves, she tells him that she wants him to lead the operation to find Hasan, since there have been so many screwups today. Jack points out that the majority of the “screwups” have been because of Dana herself, and wants to know who was going to pay her the cash she wanted. She says, “Tick Tock”. He tells her that he’s been to China, but doesn’t recognize that name. He leaves.
7:22 am – Jack meets with everyone outside the interrogation room. The guy running the biometrics system says that Dana hasn’t been trying to deceive anyone. Renee tells everyone not to believe Dana, because she’s a sociopath, and “Believe me, I know what a sociopath is like. Believe me. Really. I KNOW what that’s like”.
Jack wants to call Mrs. President.
7:23 am – The car being driven by the Blonde Woman, arrives at it’s destination and they get Hasan out of the trunk. The trunk must have been huge, because Hasan’s hair is not out of place.
7:24 am – Samir and his chief engineer talk about Hasan. The engineer wants to kill him right away. Samir points out that killing him will make it a lot tougher to get him to confess to “his crimes”. The engineer tells him they can kill him first, and fill in with some really cool computer graphics, since that’s how everyone does special effects these days. Samir remains unconvinced. Hasan arrives, hair intact.
7:25 am – Samir tells Hasan they’ve met before. They argue a bit about which one of them betrayed their fictional country. Hasan points out that in a battle where everyone else but him thought they’d be defeated, they came out victorious. Hasan says that he has the exact same feeling about the peace agreement, and that Samir really should take that into account. Hasan starts to sing “Feelings”, and Samir smacks him for it. Samir wants Hasan to renounce the peace agreement, which Hasan says he’ll never do. One of Samir’s men takes a big scary needle and puts it right into Hasan’s neck, nearly poking out the other side.
Commercial
7:32 am – Mrs. President looks at Dana’s immunity agreement outside of the room Ethan is recovering in. She thinks that since Dana Walsh isn’t her real name, if she signed it “Mrs. Mickey Mouse”, the agreement won’t hold. Tim assures her that it will. She signs it anyway.
She asks Ethan how he’s doing, and all he wants to know is how Hasan is doing. They talk about everything that’s happened during the time that Ethan has been passed out on his couch. Instead of letting him rest, she continues to talk to Ethan about what will happen without Hasan.
7:34 am – Arlo is pretty freaked out about Dana. She’s a little too creepy, even for him. Chloe tells him to get over it.
Hastings tells Cole that Dana is going to get conditional immunity, and Cole doesn’t like this one bit. He calls Dana a traitor and a murderer. He leaves out the part where he helped submerge some bodies. Nobody knows that the weird odor they’ve been smelling for the last hour or so is “Behind The Panel Dead Guy No. 5”. Hastings tells Cole that he has to go on Jack’s detail, and hands Cole his gun back.
7:36 am – Dana is spilling her guts about Samir. She tells everyone about the building he’s in, his favorite snack food, and his shoe size. Jack just wants to know where Hasan is being held. Dana tells him that she doesn’t know, but that Samir’s the kind of guy that picked that particular building because the people in it can be used as human shields. She’s not quite sure how Samir plans on strapping handles on everyone to use them as a shield, but that’s Samir’s plan.
Jack tells Cole to get his guys ready. He gives Dana one more mean face, and goes to do just that.
Commercial
7:42 am – In Samir’s place, they taser Hasan and tell him to read the statement. Samir tasers Hasan some more, and still Hasan refuses to cooperate. The terrorists aren’t sure what to do. A couple of them think that if they get Hasan drunk enough, he might think he’s in one the amusement parks on the It’s a Fictional Country After All ride… and then he might talk. Samir likes the idea of beheading him instead.
7:44 am – Tim tells Mrs. President that CTU is almost in place, and she meets with the Hasan Ladies to explain everything that is about to happen. Tim tells her they need her in the situation room, which has a situation that is going out over the Internet. They are definitely not using any branded video whatsoever.
At CTU they try to analyze where the apartment might be based on where the light is. Chloe cheerily announces that the light coming in the room is sunlight. She can tell that, and I quote “The light temperature is 5600 degrees Kelvin.” She neglects to tell them that 5600 degrees Kelvin is about 9,620 degree Fahrenheit. Also, that at that temperature there should be a lot more screaming going on.
They pinpoint the room where Hasan is being held. They notice to guys on the roof, who are waiting to be killed.
7:46 am – Hastings calls Jack to let him know everything they can about the room. Jack tells everyone they need to put silencers on their guns, and tells Renee that she has to stick with him during the assault. Renee still has that deer in the headlights look.
Commercial
7:52 am – CTU shoots the two guys on the roof before we even know their names. Jack and his crew start to move in, remodeling parts of the surrounding fence as they go. They enter the building and head upstairs. A guy walks around the corner, and won’t do what jack says, even when Jack says something in his language, so Jack shoots him. They continue to look around for Hasan, but have a hard time finding him. They finally arrive at a door they think is the right one, and go in. They find a little girl and her mother. The little girl is taken away.
Renee points a gun at the mother. While she’s looking around, she sees the blonde wig, and she realizes this probably isn’t for a Lady Gaga disguise. The woman pulls a gun on Renee, but Renee shoots first.
Meanwhile, Jack has found a room where he can hear Samir talking. He starts shooting everyone in sight, and realizes something is wrong after they’re all dead. The video that’s being streamed over the Internet was pre-recorded, and Hasan is already dead. Jack tells Hasan he’s sorry.
Jack informs Hastings that the statement was taped. Mrs. President cries. She goes to tell the Hasan Ladies that Omar died.
8:00 am – TIME’S UP! – Oh, and Yuck.
NEXT TIME ON “24” – Jack admits failure! President Logan is back! Kissing! Shooting!
SEE YOU NEXT TIME!
Chloe is CORRECT when she said the “light temperature is 5600 degrees Kelvin.” Ever heard of Color Temperature? She’s referring to the typical COLOR temperature of daylight, which ranges 5500 to 6000 Kelvin. It is NOT the actual temperature of light, for God’s sake. Light (or photons) does not have actual temperature!
Check the wikipedia entry: _http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color_temperature
It’s a joke. Just like everything else in that summary.