Last time on “24”: We found out that: Jack’s father, Philip, asked Marilyn to call him Susan, which is bound to surprise the whole family; Susan is working to simplify the inheritance math by plotting to kill his grandson Josh; Josh has no idea his grandfather might now want to be called Grandmother; putting Reid in a basement office really made him mad; resigning during a big crisis seems to be standard operating procedure in President Wayne’s White house; the scary special effect the blew up a few episodes ago is getting a lot more mileage by being shown onscreen more than Kumar did, probably because it has a better agent; Gredenko spelled sideways is Tancredo.
The following summary occurred between 3 pm and 4 pm:
3:00 pm – Jack excitedly runs up to a burning UPS truck, only to realize it’s a CTU van disguised as a UPS truck. He immediately calls Bill to let them know that Federal Express seems to be at work here. Jack tells Bill that Milo and Marilyn are being pursued by “hostiles”, which is Jack Code for “soon to be dead guys”
3:03 pm – Milo runs with Marilyn and disguises them both as a dumpster, which completely baffles the thugs that were chasing them. One of the thugs makes a phone call to Jack’s dad, and informs him that Jack is dead, and that Marilyn escaped. He tries to draw Milo out by saying that Milo doesn’t look like a field agent. Milo nearly yells that he’s better than Edgar, but stops himself.
3:05 pm – The dumpster disguise isn’t as good as they thought. Milo devises a plan where he’ll shoot and Marilyn runs. Milo remembers his part, and Marilyn forgets hers, yelling “line!” to someone off camera. It appears that the whole terrorist plan is to disable CTU by hurting all the analysts in their typing arms, because the thugs shoot Milo in his right forearm. Just as Milo is about to be shot in a very painful way, Jack shoots two of the bad guys in a very painful way first. The last remaining thug improvises a Marilyn shield to keep Jack away. When Jack says he’ll shoot, the thug decides that lead poisoning is a bad way to die and gives up.
3:06 pm – Jack does a quick field analysis, decides that Milo will be OK, and goes over to hold Marilyn against the wall by her throat. Marilyn lets Jack know it was his father’s men that were after them and that Josh would have been killed. Jack is shocked. He realizes that Marilyn called his father “Susan” on the phone, and he’s not prepared for that. He recovers quickly, and gets the information from Marilyn about where Gredenko’s house is. Jack calls Bill to tell him that he’ll need a full tactical kit, Milo is whimpering about one little bullet hole in his arm, to send a team to get Gredenko, and that he’s going to take a little personal time.
3:14 pm – Chloe goes to talk to Morris, and suggests that he talk to a shrink or to his sponsor, but Morris refuses. Nadia informs them both that Milo was shot and he’s up for a medal. Morris points out that he had a 3/8” DRILL in his arm, and now he’s mad.
3:16 pm – Jack asks Marilyn to call Philip, and she’s a little apprehensive that Josh might be killed. Jack says that “he’ll do everything in his power” to get Josh back, which is not a good sign for Josh.
3:17 pm – Philip starts to try and talk to Josh about what a great evil mastermind Gray was last season, but Josh doesn’t want to hear about it. Josh goes back to watching the local perky news team explain what nuclear fallout might do to those picnic dinners people have planned for the weekend.
3:18 pm – The bad guy that Jack captured calls Jack’s father and explains everything, except the part that he’s captured. Philip asks to talk to Marilyn. At first Philip is upset that Marilyn didn’t call him “Susan”, but they get past that. She tells him that she wants to see Josh, and they argue on the phone. During a commercial, Josh gets up to listen to what his grandfather is saying on the phone. Philip tells Susan that he can’t see the future for her or Josh. Marilyn seems really astonished now, since first Philip wanted to be called “Susan”, and how he claims he can see the future. Josh picks up on the whole “I’m going to kill Josh” theme, and seems pretty sure that “kill Josh” doesn’t mean “go get some lunch at Burger King later”. Marilyn hands the phone back to the thug. Philip tells the thug to bring Marilyn to where he’s staying.
3:20 pm – Josh asks to go get a soft drink from a vending machine, and goes to leave. Philip pulls a gun on him, letting him know about his strict “always order from room service” rule. Philip says, “No one’s life is worth the destruction of everything I’ve built”, which is coincidently Microsoft’s secret company motto.
3:25 pm – Back in the electrical closet that Reed calls an office, Lennox returns with a TPS report with President Wayne’s schedule. Reed tells Lennox that all he needs to do is to let someone in the back way, and that person will “carry the ball”. Lennox quickly translates this from Reed’s native Weasel to English, and realizes this means “kill President Wayne”. Reed tells Lennox that they’ve got a “security specialist” (Weasel speak for “hired killer”) coming, and they’re going to blame the whole thing on Assad, and no one will be the wiser. Except briefly, for Wayne… and probably Assad.
3:27 pm – Lennox goes to talk to President Wayne, who’s putting the finishing touches on Assad’s speech. Nice to know that on a day like today, Wayne has time to write speeches for other people. Must be a hobby. Anyway, Lennox decides that he’ll be snotty to the president one last time, and Wayne tries to apologize. Doesn’t seem a good enough of an apology to Lennox, because he doesn’t tell Wayne about his impending doom. They sit down to read Wayne’s speech which has magically gone from the computer screen to written form in Wayne’s notebook.
3:28 pm – At Gredenko’s hideout, they’re STILL working on getting a new pattern programmed for the remaining nukes. I think this would have taken Chloe no time at all to do, so Gredenko must be working with a rank amateur.
3:29 pm – Morris is either at the CTU liquor store, or he’s gone out to buy a pack of cigarettes and a Red Bull. If he did go outside, he must have gotten over his fear of kidnapping and power drills, or he’s read ahead a little in the script. He also buys a scotch whiskey, which must be “Scotch” as in “McDonald’s”, because he throws up right away. He starts to cry, Chloe calls him to come back, he stops crying, and as soon as he’s off the phone, he starts crying again, but takes a breath mint to calm himself down. That arm must still really hurt a lot.
3:30 pm – Jack arrives at the garage of the hotel, and tells Marilyn to get dressed in a slinky bulletproof vest. Jack doesn’t wear one because…. Well, because he’s Jack. He gets the thug they had stored in the back seat, and they head upstairs.
3:36 pm – Morris heads back into CTU, noticing that Milo is back. He asks Milo how he’s doing, nearly decides to compare scars, but decides not to. Morris goes back to work.
3:37 pm – Wayne butters up Lennox some more, telling him that his suggestions for Assad’s speech are pretty good, especially all the deletions of “death to the infidels”. Lennox leaves to talk to Reed back in Reed’s electrical closest. Reed really presses for the clearance for this “security specialist”, which Lennox says he’ll do. Reed leaves, and Lennox makes a phone call to the head Secret Service agent at the bunker! He’s going to try and help Wayne! Lennox tells the agent that he’s going to go see him. As he opens the door, we find out that Reed is not only the sort of guy that would try and get President Wayne killed, but he also listens through doors to people’s private phone conversations! This guy has no shame. He barrels through the door and knocks Lennox to the ground, they argue briefly, and Reed knocks him out. Reed steals Lennox’s phone, calls someone to let them know that Lennox doesn’t need to meet with the head Secret Service agent. Reed has sunk to a new low…. Now he’s stealing other people’s airtime minutes.
3:39 pm – At CTU, they’re having another meeting to find out why they’re always having meetings. They also discuss the house where Gredenko is probably hiding. Chloe and Morris go to reset a backup module, which is needed for an operation that’s about to take place in two minutes. “Reset a backup module” is Chloe talk meaning “I smelled alcohol on Morris’ breath.” and now she’s going to tell Bill. Morris convinces her not to tell on him.
3:42 pm – The operation is about to start, and the tactical CTU guys are all ready to go. No sign of Jack, which does not bode well for the tactical CTU guys. They go through the house, not finding anything.
3:43 pm – Jack is headed up the staircase to the hotel room, and gets a message from CTU about Gredenko not being at the house. They go into the room, only to find it open, and not in the least bit suspicious. No sign of Philip or Josh. The phone rings, and its Jack’s dad. It turns out that Philip is across the street in other building! He’s got Josh on the roof for some fresh air, at gunpoint. Josh must really not like fresh air.
3:44 pm – Jack and Philip argue. Jack tries to convince Philip to give himself up because, hey, just maybe the government will overlook the whole “a nuclear weapon went off today” thing. Jack finally convinces him to let Josh go by exchanging himself as the hostage.
3:51 pm – Milo tries to get some sympathy from Chloe, but it doesn’t work. Milo asks about the whiskey on Morris’ breath. Chloe says that Morris didn’t “metabolize” the alcohol yet. Milo REALLY wants to tell Bill, but Chloe gives him a look at that says she’ll metabolize a taser on Milo if Bill finds out, and convinces him she’ll say something if Morris isn’t really OK.
3:52 pm – Jack and Marilyn discuss their plan in a stairwell that I’m sure is heavily soundproofed so Jack’s dad can’t hear a thing. Jack gives Marilyn a gun saying it’s just like a mouse, but instead of “point and click”, she can “point and shoot”. Jack tells her NOT to call CTU.
3:53 pm – Jack goes up the staircase and yells that he’s unarmed, when clearly he’s got two under each shoulder. He finds his dad in another room on the roof. Philip tells Jack to put one foot in, while Josh puts one foot out and to keep doing that until Josh leaves, or they both finish doing to Hokey Pokey.
3:54 pm – Josh runs to his mother, and they both run downstairs.
3:55 pm – Philip says that Gredenko blackmailed him by watching last season and figuring out that he was involved in President Palmer’s death. Gredenko told Philip that he wanted to keep around some of the bombs for special occasions like weddings and tail gate parties. Philip gave him the bombs that were supposed to be destroyed. Jack points out that his father wouldn’t be in the trouble he’s in, if he didn’t try to cover it up. Philip tells Jack that if he just would have turned to the dark side, everything would have been OK. Then he calls Jack a “civil servant”! Jack starts to point out that he’s a “civil servant with a license to kill”, but stops himself.
3:57 pm – Philip tells Jack to get on his knees. Jack makes a really heartfelt speech about how he had to go his own way, how he never meant to turn his back on the family, and that he was sorry. Jack waits a little while, starts to yell, and then realizes he just apologized to an empty room. He runs outside to look for his father and finds a phone on the ledge! The phone number listed is (310) 597-3781. (I called it; it’s some kind of “24” hotline). It’s hard to tell if Jack’s upset about making the speech to thin air, or happy about finding the phone.
3:59 pm – Jack calls the phone number, and he’s talking with PRESIDENT MANILOW! He’s butched up! A beard and everything! He tells Jack to meet him alone! As soon as possible!
4:00 pm – Time’s up!
NEXT TIME: JACK STARES DOWN MANILOW! DUCT TAPE FINALLY SHUTS UP LENNOX! IT LOOKS LIKE THEY’RE GOING TO INJECT WAYNE WITH PEPSI! HE’S A COCA-COLA MAN! THEY’RE GOING TO BOMB WAYNE!
Be sure and catch all of Steve’s summaries of Season 6 of “24”!