24 – Season 7 – 8 am to 9 am

Last time during “24: Redemption” – We learned that: Jack Bauer is equally effective in real locations and fictional locations; soccer has more rules in Africa than in America (notably, machine guns); sometimes people at embassies can be real jerks; and despite just trying to settle down and help orphans, bad people still manage to find Jack Bauer, and he still manages to kill them.

8:00 am – Someone who looks a lot like Dr. Flox from Enterprise argues with his daughter about not using a cell phone, and ends up getting into a major car accident while using his cell phone. Guys in black vans grab the man out of his car right after having the accident. I’m guessing this happened in Miami.

8:02 am – Someone who looks a lot like Red Foreman is starting a congressional hearing with JACK BAUER testifying! Jack Bauer turns down having an attorney, because he is, of course, Jack Bauer. The senator starts asking questions about people, and Jack tells him the answers are classified. The senator states that it sounds like Jack tortured people. Jack doesn’t answer, and when the Senator asks why, Jack tells him that the Senator forgot to answer in the form of a question but he’d like to answer the final Jeopardy question for all his money.

8:06 am – The Senator says he wants the truth, and Jack tells him he can’t handle the truth. The Senator and Jack start to argue about Jack’s methods of saving people, and Jack isn’t the least bit scared off by this, because he’s probably armed at this moment.

Before the Senator can say anything else, yet another branch of government comes in and asks for Jack’s services, which I’m guessing are going to be just like what the Senator was just objecting to. The Senator tells Jack that he can go, but that he has to be back at this same time tomorrow. The Senator doesn’t realize that Jack’s days are a lot more action packed that most people’s.

8:07 am – The female FBI agent introduces herself as Agent Walker, and tells Jack that he is going to be briefed when he gets to their offices. Jack says he wears boxers.

8:08 am – The agent gets a phone call from Agent Garaffilo, and is told that Michael Latham was the guy that got kidnapped in the morning. Turns out that this guy was an engineer, and nobody in the criminal world knows anything about getting into computers, so that’s why he was kidnapped.

8:09 am – A very concerned agent holds a briefing in a conference room full of people, who must have been waiting around in there in the first place, because the kidnapping only happened about 10 minutes ago. The people around the table ask some obvious plot advancing questions.

8:11 am – At a bad guy’s hideout, Lathan is already working on a computer. We can tell it’s a bad guy’s hideout because there are very few lights, unlike the good guy’s offices, which have lots of lights. Since Lathan is already working on the computer, this hideout must be about 2 blocks away from the accident scene, so of course no one was able to follow them there. Latham’s pretty good at his job, since he’s messing around with the computer while it’s still turned on. You’ll notice that it automatically turned off when the bad guy grabbed it.

This isn’t looking good though, because they keep showing airplanes, which means there’s going to be a pretty bad accident soon.

8:12 – Jack’s already at the FBI, meeting Agent Larry. Larry is sorry that his brothers Darryl and Darryl aren’t there to meet him too. Larry tells agent Walker that Jack is the type of guy that can go off at any moment, and Walker tells him she’s pretty sure that Jack isn’t wired for explosives.

Agent Garaffilo appears to be the office suck-up, because as soon as Agent Walker leaves to talk to Jack, she’s on Agent Larry like a South Florida retiree at a blue plate special.

8:13 – Agent Walker tells Jack that the government has a single firewall to protect all the extremely vital computer systems in the whole country. Before Jack can point out that doing that is a pretty stupid way to set up a network, she continues and says that they need his help. Jack says that he quit doing that, since his Senate indictment was getting in the way. He says he’s not sure why she wanted to talk to him in the first place, since there doesn’t appear to be anyone that needs to be shot in the thigh. Walker tells him that the person behind the firewall break-in is Tony Alemeda, who Jack last saw dead on the floor in CTU. (This gives me hope that Edgar, too, might not actually be dead.) Jack frowns while watching this, saying he always wondered why all federal computers take a long time to bring up pictures when the pictures on the Internet come up so much faster.

8:15 – Jack’s pretty upset that it might actually be Tony, since he never once called or wrote to him while he was in a Chinese prison. Jack says he knows a lot about Photoshop, and that he’s not convinced. Walker says that she dug up Tony’s grave, just in case they were dealing with a Zombie Tony, and it turns out that DNA evidence says that the body wasn’t Tony after all. Jack looks at the picture again and seems pretty upset.

8:16 – Tony comes out of the dark in the bad guy’s hideout, to look at the planes on the screen. The bad guys don’t understand how to use the module Latham worked on. It appears broken, most likely because they left the lid off the thing while they were using it. Tony brings the module back to Lathan, and threatens him with a never ending subscription to AOL if he doesn’t get the module working quickly, and that he won’t need Lathan’s tech support help soon. Lathan gets the message.

Commercial

8:21 – At the White House, Mrs. President watches a fake news channel about a fake country. The President and Ethan, her advisor, discuss the African situation and General Juma. Ethan thinks a bail out might help, but the president tells him he’s thinking of General Motors, which makes cars not dictatorships.

Henry, who looks remarkably like Mr. Keaton (but isn’t), walks in without knocking, which can be dangerous in the Oval Office, and is very concerned about someone who’s giving a very hazardous press conference. Henry is Mrs. President’s husband, the First Hubby.

The President gets some notes about a briefing before the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and is very excited until she finds out it has nothing to do with joints. Ethan says that he doesn’t want to sound like a broken record, and makes a hissing and popping noise. The President says that’s the worst impression she’s ever heard.

8:24 – The president enters the room and she thanks everyone for helping with the operation. She suddenly realizes her mistake, and leaves the operating room, and goes to meet with the Joint Chiefs of Staff, saying that going to war is a very hard decision.

8:25 – Lathan fixes the module for Tony, saying it was just overheating and gets it back online. This really freaks out the real air traffic controllers, because they see a glitch on the system, and that never EVER happens to computers.

8:26 – Back in Walker’s office, she tells Jack that Tony is part of a home grown terrorist organization trying to mess around with infrastructure. Jack says that this whole “green” thing is going a bit far if people are starting to grown their own terrorists now. She tells Jack that Tony is probably a teensy bit upset that his wife, Michelle, was killed by a government task force, lead by the former president. Jack points out that everyone involved with that has been kicked off the show, so he still doesn’t get why Tony would be involved. He finally agrees to help, and Walker gives Jack access to Tony’s information.

8:28 – Agent Larry tells Walker about the glitch in air traffic control, and that it probably doesn’t mean good thing for frequent flyers. They all look very concerned.

8:29 – On the plane, everyone does a Star Trek lurch, proving the plane just hit turbulence or something scarier.

8:30 – Jack’s taken this time to read everything already, so Walker takes him to Shawn, while telling Jack about air traffic control. Shawn seems just thrilled by this.

8:31 – Back at the Joint Chief’s meeting, a guy who looks like he should be a general because of his white hair and bingo pad on his chest tells the President the plan to get Juma. He says all he needs is a go order from her. The President tells him he’ll get a green light as soon she gets Secretary Steven’s post invasion report. He says he really just needs a go order, not a traffic signal, but she doesn’t hear him. Steven’s is being passive aggressive, and she tells him she needs the report right away. Ethan pulls her away to talk to someone in the hall. As she leaves she says she expects Steven’s homework on her desk when she gets back.

Out in the hallway, Agent Tim tells her about everything nearly all the other characters in the show already know about – the air traffic control break-in. They discuss possible options – she wants to ground all the planes, but Tim says that if they do that, half the show will be over by then. He tells her that she’ll be briefed in real-time, as opposed to being briefed in future time, which is a lot trickier. The president says she doesn’t like the timing of this, and Ethan reminds her of the name of the show again.

Commercial

8:38 am – The First Hubby is having tea with a reporter, trying to bribe him with an exclusive story, but is interrupted by an agent. There’s a phone call for the First Hubby from someone named Chuck. The First Hubby is excited by this, and asks if Peppermint Patty is there, but it turns out to be a different “Chuck”.

8:39 am – Chuck looks like he’s either a Dabney Coleman impersonator, or a private investigator. Turns out that he’s investigating the mysterious death of the President’s and First Hubby’s son, and that his girlfriend got a mysterious $400,000 just before the son’s death, which they think might be slightly suspicious, but nobody’s investigated yet. The First Hubby asks the agent if Chuck might be leading him on, and the agent says he probably is. (First Hubby neglects to ask if there might be a massive internal conspiracy about this.)

8:41 am – Back at the FBI, Agent Garaffilo swears she’s checked all the sockets – (but I’m guessing that Chloe would have done a much better job), and freaks out a little bit, which is always something you want in an FBI agent.

8:42 am – Jack directs Shawn to keep typing for him, which thrills Shawn to death. Jack thinks that the access cards the bad guys have been using might have been forged, which is something that never occurred to the crack FBI staff. Jack recognizes the guy who likely forged the cards is Gabriel Schector, a supplier that he and Tony used to get things “off book”. The FBI agents are just about to screw up the plot by trying to get Schector the old-fashioned way, when Jack tells them that would be a mistake because it would really drag out the plot.

Agent Larry makes a crack about Jack wanting to torture the guy instead, and then when Jack starts to confront him, Agent Larry just eggs him on some more. Jack says that he really doesn’t care what they end up doing, because he’s the star of the show, and it’s in his contract that he’ll get to shoot some bad guys sooner or later. Walker interrupts this little macho fest that Agent Larry and Jack are having to ask how well Jack knows Schector. Jack says that he didn’t think Walker wanted a date that badly, but she ignores this. She asks to speak to Agent Larry privately, and they walk 5 feet away past a half-height cubicle where no one could possibly hear them.

8:44 am – Walker tells Agent Larry that she wants to take Jack to meet with Schector, and that she’ll keep Jack on a short leash. She goes back to Jack and says that they’re going to do things “her way”. Jack looks away as if to say, “She don’t know me very well, do she?”

Commercial

8:50 am – Washington streets are just as easy to get around on as Los Angeles streets, because Walker and Jack can drive around without even stopping once on the way to visit Schector. Jack tells Walker that he and Tony used to use Schector as a conduit. Walker says, “Wouldn’t that hurt?” Jack explains that they used Schector as a conduit for technology that he and Tony needed.

Walker asks if Jack and Tony were close, and Jack says they were, but in a “let’s go get the bad guys” way. They arrive outside of Schector’s building, where they meet an FBI agent that sticks out like a sore thumb on an otherwise relatively deserted street. He assures them that Schector’s inside.

8:51 am – Back in the President’s briefing room, she’s briefed by Steven’s on a computer monitor only capable of displaying yellow. She apologizes for “dressing down” Steven’s in front of the Joint Chiefs. He accepts her apology, and assures her that he doesn’t hate her freaking guts for doing that.

Ethan comes in and tells the President that the reporter isn’t going to say anything until WAY after the show is over, so they won’t have to deal with that plot line anymore. They will, however, have to deal with this whole kooky airplane thing. They exchange very concerned looks.

8:52 am – In the hallway outside the Apartment of Forgery, Jack hopes that Schector isn’t going to give up the information easily. Walker says that they work under the confines of the law, forgetting that Jack isn’t with the FBI.

8:53 am – Schector comes to the door after a HUGE thug answers the door and sees Walker’s badge. Schector’s a little freaked out that Jack is there, telling Walker that he has a witness (Huge Thug) if Jack does anything.

8:54 am – Schector asks Jack how that whole Senate Hearing thing is going. Jack is still maintaining his composure, since he hasn’t reached the Jack’s Mad Threshold yet. (It’s creeping up though.) Jack says that he just wants the information on the components Schector stole for Tony, which freaks out Schector a bit, and he tries to get Huge Thug to get them to leave. Jack asks, “Are you sure?” and before you know it, Walker already has Huge Thug down on the ground. Jack grabs a gun, pointing it at Schector, who yells, “This was unprovoked! Unprovoked!” Walker appears to have studied the Jack Bauer playbook, because she tells him, “He was going for his gun! I have a witness!” (Jack looks so proud right now.) Walker tells Jack to “do what it takes”.

Jack grabs to deadliest thing he can find – a ball point pen. Just as he’s about to draw on Schector’s face, Schector agrees to talk. He gets out the words, “Last time I saw Almeda”, triggering an explosive device in his chest, or possibly a shots from a sniper from across the street. Maybe both, because there is definitely a sniper across the street and Schector and Huge Thug get shot. Walker and Jack are pinned down for a moment, long enough for the sniper to run off.

8:57 am – The phone rings, and it’s for Jack! Tony finally called him, after all this time. Tony warns Jack to stay away, and it looks like Jack still doesn’t believe Tony has turned bad.

8:58 – On the airplane, they get instructions to land. An air traffic controller realizes that his video screen has effectively been turned into a video game, because he doesn’t have contact with the planes anymore. The person who does is Tony, who learned how to be an air traffic controller while he was busy not being dead. He gives them instructions, which freaks out the thug with Tony. The thug thought this whole, “Let’s steal air traffic control equipment and the engineer who knows how to get through the firewall” was just a prank. Tony assures him it isn’t.

9:00 am – Time’s up!