24: Live Another Day – Hour 4 recap

PREVIOUSLY ON 24: Kate interrogated the seven dwarves; Mark has started practicing for a career as a sports memorabilia forger; Erik brought up Kate’s husband AGAIN; Audrey continued to float around people like a dementor, only scarier; Margot and Simone practiced playing the game Operation; Heller was surprised to find out that Parliament talks back, just like the mirror he practices speeches in front of; Simone needs to learn that a stuffed animal with cameras for eyes is not an appropriate gift to accept from your mother, especially a mother that appears to have ambitions to be a security guard; Jack tries to sneak into the embassy to find Tanner and the flight key and is feeling a lot better now that he’s been able to yell, shoot a few thighs, and cause some havoc.

The following takes place between 2 pm and 3 pm:

2pm – Mass panic! Protests! It’s likely someone saw Audrey in an embassy window. Jack tells Chloe that he’s used that diversion to get inside the embassy. The only problem is Erik and Kate saw him outside, and are pretty sure he’s not there to take pictures with the guards outside. Jack says that he’s going to try and get the flight key from inside the embassy. Many people are running around, and after picking out a nice guard, Jack gives him a big old hug. A big Jack Bauer Hug that lasts just a little bit too long. (Jack’s been out in the field for a long time.) The guard passes out from the sheer joy of it. Chloe gives Jack the floor, room number, make, model and serial number of the door lock, plus the origin of the metal used to make the lock. This gives Jack enough information to find the right room. He grabs the guard’s security card as a souvenir and runs.

Chloe complains that Chell screwed up the ID that Jack was going to use to get into the embassy and that if she’d used a number instead of a Little Orphan Annie secret code none of this would be happening. Adrian is still upset that Chloe brought Jack to their secret location, which is the only secret Adrian actually doesn’t want the world to know about. Adrian tries to justify what he’s doing, but Chloe wants none of it. Chloe tells him to “get out of my sight” and she’s not talking about a website. Adrian just stares at her, but despite trying, staring at Chloe like that doesn’t turn her to stone.

Jack’s thug friend tells Chloe it’s going to be tough to get Jack out of an embassy full of marines. Chloe says she knows that, and that Embassy Full Of Marines was the name of her first band in college. Also, that she owes Jack her life, her sorry, and her monopoly. Jack’s thug friend says he owes Jack too, and that he’s pretty sure that Adrian isn’t doing anything that isn’t in his own self interest.

At the embassy, Erik and Kate meet a marine that magically figures out that when they identify themselves as “agents”, they mean CIA agents. They convince the marine that Jack is a threat and foolishly only bring eight other marines with them.

Tanner is being held in an absolute ultra mega low security room with absolutely nobody guarding him. This allows Jack to enter the room with one card swipe. This must be an absolutely new card key lock because it works so well.

Inside room, Tanner is just staring off into space when Jack arrives. Jack doesn’t realize there’s soldier in the room guarding Tanner. Jack makes up a story pretty quickly. He tells the soldier:

There once was a man named Jack,
Who came to move soldiers during an attack,
But when he got there,
The guard with short hair,
Turned to the phone and got a whack.

Not realizing Jack was predicting the future, the guard turns to answer a ringing phone and Jack whacks him in the back of the head.

Jack explains to a freaked out Tanner that he knows Tanner is innocent all about the drone that was taken over. Jack just wants the flight key so he can stop the pending attack. Tanner does what anyone would do in this situation: He asks Jack why he should believe him. Tanner thinks about this much too long, and finally tells Jack that the key is with Captain Denovo, who is the guy Jack just knocked out.

Back on Chloe’s new cable channel London Embassy TV, there’s a development: The herd of marines plus Kate and Erik are on the stairs headed Jack’s way. Jack quickly finds the flight key on Denovo, thanks Tanner, and leaves.

2:07 pm – Jack leaves just as the Marine herd arrives to find Tanner just sitting there in his room like nothing happened. Nothing except Captain Denovo seems to have mysteriously passed out for no apparent reason. Denovo wakes up and tells them about Jack’s coat that he’s wearing.

Jack tries to exit the building but the key card swiper is just not as new as the other one and it doesn’t work. Jack quickly realizes that the embassy has its own private network line. He asks Chloe to help him find it. Chloe tells him that a lot more marines are arriving and that there’s NO WAY he could possibly exit the building. Apparently Chloe has forgotten who she’s talking to. Jack tells her to find the communications room, and he runs down the hall. He finds what looks like a bathroom just in time for the commercial.


2:13pm – Back at Margot’s House of Hidden Cameras, Margot has taken some time out of spying on her daughter and husband long enough to find out that the drone system will be ready to use in about an hour.

Simone and her husband are in bed. The husband says that he’s going to leave, because he’s getting a little creeped out by her mother. Also, he doesn’t feel good about killing people. He tells Simone that he’s waited for a week to carry through with his plan to leave. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and something tells me he’s going to get that wish, but it’s just not going to be as long as he hopes. She agrees to go with him.

Steve (no relation) Navarro calls and as usual, he’s right on top of things. He says that Flash came up on his web browser and it said that beside desperately needing an upgrade right away, it shows the embassy is on lock down for no reason he can fathom. Kate tells him it is, surprise, Jack Bauer. The marines with her crouch down with their guns drawn, just in case they see Jack. Kate, meanwhile doesn’t seem to have a care in the world as she walks behind them, completely upright, while talking to Steve.

2:17 pm – Jack heads downstairs to yet another basement, as Chloe directs him. He finds the communications room, which is filled with computer people dressed up like they’re all going to a job interview, because they sure are not dressed like computer people.

Chloe tells Jack how to use the computer, which is new for Jack because he’s always had Chloe do this sort of thing for him. The marines are closing in, now in an even bigger hurry because they think they’ll be able to get Jack to sign all their guns. While Jack is trying to upload the data to Chloe, he makes her promise that no matter what happens, she’ll get out of that eye makeup. Also, that she’ll get the data to Heller, if he’s still sane. Suddenly, the data connection drops! Adrian just happens to have a cool program that Jack can download in order to decrypt the data and get it uploaded back to them. It’s really lucky that Adrian knows the exact operating system, software libraries and version numbers that Jack is using, because otherwise this would never work.

The marines are right outside the door. Jack orders one of the computer people to open the door. After making sure that the marines are wearing the good, new body armor, he has the door opened and shoots a couple of them. The door slams shut. The marines, in frustration, shoot the door, because they really, really want that door dead.


2:23pm – Margot asks Simone if she wants a tea, earl grey, hot. Margot confronts her about her husband, Navin, while someone plays a weird little gong sound in the background. Simone tells Margot everything that Navin said, and then appears to be worried that Margot will hurt him in some way. Margot says that he’s already been hurt enough by all the rejection he used to get on That 70’s show, and she’ll do what ever it takes to make sure he pilots those drones.

Heller’s in Parliament, still talking for the last 25 minutes. He says that he wishes he could cast a spell “like in that Hogwarts you have here” and make the bodies come back to life. He tells them he wants them to move forward together. And then to the side. And back. And then to shake it all about.

Mark gets a phone call from Steve (no relation) who tells him that Jack is in the communications room with hostages. He tells them that it’s not looking good because Jack has ordered pizza so it might be a while.

Mark tells Steve that he’s disappointed in his performance. Most of the audience agrees with him, but that’s not important now. What’s important is that the marines are there. Mark tells him that “I need to know what you know.” That should take about five seconds.

Adrian and Chloe argue about the size of Jack’s core processor, which is not a euphemism. The encryption program is just not working very fast.

Since Jack has nothing to do but wait, he decides to take a phone call from the audience. First caller: Captain Kevin Cordaro. The captains tries to threaten Jack by saying he’d like to work together, which works just about as well as anyone to expect, since Jack barely works with people he DOES like. Jack threatens to kill the hostages, but at the same time shakes his head as if to say, “no no, I’m just saying that” and hangs up. Several of the hostages look like they’re going to need new underwear. Meanwhile, the Cordaro is more concerned about the marines getting shot than the hostages.

Up in Tanner’s room, Erik and Kate arrive. Erik tells Tanner that Jack is downstairs surrounded by marines, so Tanner shouldn’t expect any help. This obviously means that Erik has never read Jack’s CTU personnel file.

Kate asks Tanner what his relationship is with Jack. Tanner says he doesn’t swing that way, and he and Jack just met. Erik says he doesn’t believe him. Tanner SWEARS he doesn’t swing that way. Kate asks a lot nicer, and Tanner finally tells them what Jack said: That the key holds the key to the key of the drone attack and that is key. Plus, that the drone was taken over and is going to be used in an attempted attack later this season. Kate and Erik leave.

As they walk down the hall, Erik says “We should have pushed him harder!” Kate says that wouldn’t have worked because he looked really stable in that chair he was sitting in. And besides, Kate believes him. She tells Erik she wants to talk to Bauer about this drone threat.

Heller is STILL talking to Parliament but finally seems to be wrapping up. They all applaud because he’s finally finished, and it’s getting closer to tea time. Heller, Audrey and Mark move to another room after the speech.

Mark explains that the protests outside aren’t going like usual protests go, and not only did people break in, but there are hostages. Oh, and Jack Bauer.

Audrey and Heller are surprised that Jack’s in town, because he’s usually not in town during this time of year. Mark tries to enforce the fact that while Jack hasn’t fatally shot anyone, the way you’d expect, it’s really important that the marines go in after him right away. Heller says to not make any moves until he’s had a chance to talk to Jack about this great opportunity to buy gold coins.

2:37 pm – Navin is packing his bag as Simone and Margot enter the room. He says it’s just a backpack with his Dungeon and Dragon’s stuff. Margot doesn’t believe him, and says that he’s got a stain on him. Seeing how surprised he looks, I’m not surprised.

Margot gives Navin a chance to pilot the drones. He picks this time to stand up to Margot. He tells her that those drones are going to be used for evil delivery purposes, probably by big companies with huge warehouses and discount prices. Margot says that she’s very disappointed, and that her dead husband, even though he’s dead, is also very disappointed, but in a way that only the dead can be. She says she knows a thing or two about dead relatives because one of the last ones she had was beheaded at a castle.

Navin swears on a stack of his D&D books that he’ll never pilot the drones, no matter what Margot does to him. She says she believes him.

Margot tells her thugs to bring Simone over and to take her ring off. Well, these guys aren’t too bright and actually chop off one of her fingers. Margot tells the thug to do it again, but correctly. This really freaks out Navin (not the mention Simone) and he agrees to pilot the drone.

Back in the third sub-basement of the embassy, Kate tells Cardovo that she really needs to talk to Jack, just in case this whole drone attack is real, and not some mega-website publicity stunt. He says, “I’m not introducing any more variables into this equation. This conversation is over,” which leads both Erik and Kate to believe this Cardovo might be a robot.

Kate calls Steve (no relation) Navaro, and Navaro wants to know if she debriefed Tanner. She says no, he still has his underwear, but she did get to talk to him. She goes on to explain what Jack has been saying.

Navaro tells her that Jack will be receiving a phone call from Heller any minute now. He hangs up. Jordan, who is there with Navaro, says that if they’d all just listened to Kate in the first place, none of this would be going on. Navaro doesn’t take this very well and accuses Jordan of having a crush on Kate, which is exactly the kind of high school gossip we come to expect from people in his position. And then he goes on to say that Kate doesn’t have good judgment because she not only didn’t realize her husband would betray the country, but that she also dated a guy named Bryce who once downloaded a whole bunch of classified pictures which got uploaded to someone’s head. These people really need to re-enforce this plot point because we haven’t heard it in nearly an hour.

The phone rings. Jack answers. The voice says, “It’s me.” Jack says, “Donald Sutherland?” No, it’s just President Heller. He’s very disappointed that Jack shot people. Jack points out that it was only a flesh wound. Besides, he’s Jack Bauer so if he wanted them dead, they’d be off to visit the choir invisible.
Jack goes on to say that he believes that drone system is vulnerable, and that any minute now packages could start raining down from the sky. Heller says, “Explain that, Jack.” Jack goes into great detail about planes, helicopters, and flying things, using small words so the President, and everyone else on the line can understand.

He finally explains the takeover of Tanner’s drone by Yates, and that Margot is going to use it in a very bad way.

Heller asks why Jack didn’t just come to him in the first place. Jack explains that the White House only has limited visiting hours, and usually the president is no where to be seen on any of these tours. Plus, he’s been labeled as terrorist, still had the label, and it will just not come off. He’s also never been able to tell his side of the story, so he’s a little miffed about that. Jack tells Heller he’s never lied to him, about him, near him, under him, over him, at him, or through him, so he should believe him now. Heller tells Jack to stay by the phone, which is kind of silly because with a room that small Jack has no choice.

Audrey believes Jack, which proves that even in her current state, she can be somewhat lucid. Mark is completely against believing Jack. He points out that Jack broke Chloe out of CIA custody, and that Jack is much more manly than he is. Also that Open Cell, the group Jack is working with, uploaded 30,000 documents of web page histories of everyone in Congress, which lead to a lot of embarrassing stories.

To drive home is point, he points out that Jack killed a lot of people before, and that’s why he shouldn’t be trusted. Heller loses his mind, not realizing that Jack did this quite a bit in the old days, and gives the order that the marines can go in when they’re ready.


2:51pm – Chloe shows Adrian some old Youtube videos of America’s Funniest Drone attacks and points out that the missiles on the new drones are a lot bigger. They’re going to do a lot more damage, and frankly, she really doesn’t want to see London destroyed, which would dash her hopes of being able to see the Monty Python reunion.

Adrian, who still hasn’t cleared his throat of phlegm, points out that he has been trying to help. Kind of. Adrian makes a big mistake, and asks Chloe why she just can’t let Jack go. You can tell Chloe didn’t like this at all.

Back at sub-basement three, Cardovo makes a little speech about how if they sense Jack is a threat at all, they should shoot him.. He dismisses everyone and then calls a guy who looks about 15 over, and tells him to shoot Jack on sight no matter what happens. Like in Call of Duty.

Kate’s on the phone with Navaro as Jordan brings up Margot’s home page on the web, which confirms that Jack didn’t just make up her name.

Kate realizes something that no one else, even the people with plans to the building, has thought – that they might able to get into the room with Jack using the giant human-size air ducts.

2:54 pm – Kate goes into the air duct, even with that brand new sweater she’s wearing.

Mark and Audrey argue. Audrey’s really upset with Mark, and she knows that Mark is really scared of Jack.

Chloe realizes that cable company is on to her, because her cable feed goes out, and she can’t watch what the marines are doing anymore.

The marines are about to go in, so Jack starts rearranging the furniture.

One of the marines sees that there’s a symbol on his Candy Crush game he can’t explain, because it’s all “Kate-shaped” and headed to the room where Jack is. Erik tells Cordovo about Kate’s plan, but he won’t listen.

Kate breaks into the room, and pinky swears that she believes Jack.

The marines blow up the door, and Kate saves Jack by sitting on him. The marines don’t fire on Jack.

The upload doesn’t make it.

At Margot’s House of One Less Finger, the drone takeover system is online!

3:00 pm – Time’s up!

NEXT TIME: Missing flight key! Margot has six drones! Margot gets her own TV channel! Jack wants to be outstanding in his field! Drone missiles!

24: Live Another Day – Hour 3 recap


PREVIOUSLY ON 24: Jack lead a bunch of CIA agents in a “Running of the Bauer” event through London; A cohort of Jack’s did some street demolition; Chloe, who might have gone Goth or Emo, or a combination of the two, was saved by Jack and is now helping him; Heller has become President, but keeps forgetting where he left Audrey; Audrey has been assigned to torture duty and got married to chief of staff Mark; Yates learned that people in blonde wigs who speak with Russian accents think ears are actually pencil sharpeners; Catelyn Stark is now Margo and has taken up amateur drone flying.

The following takes place between 1pm and 2pm:

1 pm – Jack and Chloe drive up to the only pub in London with nearly no one in it at lunchtime. Jack uncharacteristically runs into the Little Bauer Room, only to find Yates dead on the ground. Jack pulls his gun and threatens several bathroom stall doors, but they don’t tell him anything, despite being stomped.

Chloe doesn’t see anything on any cameras near the pub because the Blonde Ex-Russian left by the one exit in London not covered by cameras. Jack finds a wig, and realizes that it is very unlikely that a dumpster would be wearing a wig, especially a blonde one. It has to be the girl, so they decide to start looking for any woman not wearing a wig.

There’s a subway near there, and not the sandwich kind. Chloe finds the woman nearly instantly because of the silver suitcase she’s carrying. The subway train she’s headed out on is Waterloo, which is sure to excite not only Bill and Ted, but also Napolean – that is, if they can get back in time for their school report. Jack heads for the subway, just as we see the woman inside a subway car as it moves away.

Meanwhile, Kate is either interrogating the seven dwarves, or men on their knees. She shows a guy with a Bauer hickey a picture of Jack she’s got on probably the only black and white camera phone on earth. She tries to trick that guy into talking, but one of the others, probably Doc, speaks up. Kate realizes this guy is in charge, because extras don’t usually speak on shows like this.

Erik gets a phone call – it’s Steve (no relation). Steve’s upset because he’s gotten reports that Americans are running around shooting things, and the British know that, because that’s what Americans usually do when they’re in London. Steve tells Erik to get out of there, because they’re having a crisis. And he means more of a crisis than Americans running around shooting things. He finally tells Erik that Kate shouldn’t even be there.

Doc tells Kate to naughty-word off, since they’re not the real police. He can tell this because they don’t have those funny round hats and whistles. Erik tells Kate that Steve is really mad, and that everyone has to be let go. She starts to argue that she has a contract until the end of the show, until she realizes that Erik means the dwarven prisoners. The dwarves all look very relieved that they’ll soon be doing something safer – traveling to Smaug.

Kate doesn’t like this at all, and plays Duck, Duck, Solid Bar To The Back Of The Head with Doc, who promptly falls over, not face first, but back of the head first which is pretty impressive since he was instantly knocked out. Kate wants to take Doc with them. Erik complains that the police won’t like it they find CIA agents there, until he realizes HE’S a CIA agent, and he better get out of there soon. They carry Doc to the car.

Elsewhere, Jack does some typical American tourist thing, driving on the correct side of the road, which is the wrong side in London. They reach the subway station ahead of the subway train, because London has no traffic, just like LA.

The train arrives at stop 9 and 3 quarters, and Jack jumps on. Jack makes his way towards the woman who just happens to notice that Jack is wearing all black and has an ear piece. So, she does something unbelievable – she cuts her own fish net stockings! She’s so frazzled that she accidentally cuts her leg too. As she exits, she smears blood on her face, thinking a rouge disguise might throw him off the track, but Jack spots the ploy right away.

She yells for help, and instantly two guys try to stop Jack. They’ve never heard of Jack before, so they don’t realize how foolish this was to try until .3 seconds later when they’re down on the ground incapacitated.

This is long enough for the woman to get away, even tough she’s the only one with red hair in the whole place. The woman finds a open gate, and jumps down into another part of the subway system, losing Jack!

On the street, Chloe continues to look for the woman, but gets sidetracked because she sees a man, woman and child that look a heck of a lot like her ex-husband Morris, her son, and the way she looks. Well, if the husband was 20 pounds lighter, if the son was 4 years older, and if Chloe grew her hair out and actually dressed in colors.

While she’s distracted, the woman walks right by Chloe and gets into a taxi, which thinks nothing of people with blood on their face getting rides. The taxi drives off.

Jack can’t believe she’s gone. Jack says, “You missed her? How?” Chloe tells him that it is very insensitive to do Indian impressions, and besides she just wants to go back. She’s really upset and explains that Morris and her son are both dead because of a car accident. She thinks it is her fault because she should have been driving, and thinks that she was target because she knows what really happened the last day she saw Jack.

Jack tells her “You can’t bring back the ones you love”. Chloe tells him that’s not how that Spike Jones song goes, and he should listen to more Dr. Demento. Jack says he doesn’t want to make Chloe do anything (like that would work, even for Jack), but he needs her help.


1:18 pm – Back in his office, Mark stares at his computer screen, pondering his next app purchase. There’s a knock and Mark uses his x-ray vision to invite Ron into the room.

Ron tells him he has a rendition order all ready to go. Ron says that they really can’t turn Jack over to the Russians because of all these “legal” things, and besides they’ll need the President’s signature. Mark says he’s pretty sure that all he’d have to do is tell Heller that he’s signing an autograph, and it’ll all be OK.

Suddenly, they are both scared to death by the entrance of … AUDREY. They both scoot away as she enters the room, cornering them. She wants to know what they’re talking about. Mark lies and tells her that they were talking about the soldier who is really bad at video games. Ron narrowly escapes as he eases past Audrey.

Audrey is out of her mind upset that Mark would actually try and prep her father for actual hard trivia questions that Parliament is likely to ask. She’s particularly upset about the double Jeopardy category and the fact that Alex Trebec wasn’t even there.

Mark says that Heller is in a compromised state and it would be foolish for him to try and get Parliament to go along with the lease extension. Audrey says this has nothing to do with Illinois, and she will not put up with having her father put on a leash, even with an extension.

Mark thinks they should go home, and try and work out things from there using “back channels”. Audrey asks if that means channels above 13 on the dial. Mark convinces Audrey that she should be the one that gets Heller to go along with this idea. Audrey leaves, leaving Mark unharmed. To celebrate, Mark decides to commit a federal offense and forge the President’s signature on the rendition order that Ron brought in.

Elsewhere, Jack and Chloe are doing the tourist thing and driving around London. Chloe spends her time looking up the woman, and discovers her real name is Simone Al-Harazi, which they both agree doesn’t sound very Russian. Jack realizes that Margot is her Mom. Margot is likely to be upset because her al-Qaida husband was beheaded in a drone attack when they were together. It turns out these drones are REALLY precise and Margot got away, even though she was right next to her husband at the time.

1:22 pm – Turns out that Margot has been doing pretty well for herself after the drone strike, because she’s got a nice house with a lot of flowers in the back. Margot notices Simone’s leg, and Simone assures her that she has no idea who the American who was follow her is, because she doesn’t read live blogs or watch American television. They give each other an awkward hug.

Simone goes inside and greets her brother, completing the terrorist family reunion. The brother says that Yates used a “non-standard” bus, and is very upset it’s not SCSI or even IEEE-488. Margot asks how long it’ll take, and he gives an engineer’s answer “about an hour, maybe more”. Margot gives a manager’s answer and says “Make it less”.

Simone notices the words on the video monitors with red background and that can only mean that the targeting is done! She’s so excited. Then she gets even more excited when someone that looks like a older version of Fez from That 70’s Show walks into the room. She starts speaking Arabic to him (Nadeen), because they haven’t done subtitles in a while. Margot looks none too pleased by their display of affection. In fact, either does Fez.

Margot sends out Simone to get a new pair of fishnet stockings. And to clean up the gash that has already stopped bleeding. Margot explains to Nadeen that sometimes even she had to do disgusting things, like be in this season of 24, and no one should hold that against Simone. Besides, it’s not like they were all invited to a wedding where people locked the doors behind them. Margot explains that she used to cut her fishnet stockings in the past too, but it was necessary because they’re all at war.


1:30pm – Chloe and Jack arrive back at Nerd camp. Adrian asks why they’re back, and Jack explains that they need to carry out further plot points. Jack goes on to explain that Yates has taken 10 prototype Amazon drones, armed them with Hellfire missiles and Amazon Prime. That means that at the very least, the missiles will cause havoc all over London several days earlier than if they went through the normal delivery methods. Adrian tries to point out that if America hadn’t invented Amazon Prime than there wouldn’t be an issue. Chloe looks disgusted that these boys are arguing like that, and re-writes Windows 8 to be more stable while they carry on.

Adrian, Jack and Chloe discuss that what they really need is proof that Tanner’s drone was taken over, and they’ll need a flight plan. One of the up until now silent background nerds goes into a little speech about how the pilot’s name is Tanner and that it’s been all over the news. Chloe shoots him a look as if to say, “We just said his name, right over there! This is the second time I’ve been right next to someone and they can’t hear me!”. Other nerds in the room find out that Tanner is going to be handed over to the British embassy soon, so Jack and Chloe are going to need some help. Adrian agrees.

Kate is using Google Maps to continue to search for Pokemon from last April Fool’s day while she and Erik drive with Doc in the back of the car. Doc has fixed himself somehow with a gauze bandage. Doc will not shut up.

1:33 – Erik drives into a tunnel that just happens to be where a dangerous gang of thugs that Doc has previous experience with are standing around. You can tell they’re dangerous because there’s graffiti everywhere. Kate threatens Doc with an ejection seat unless he talks. He won’t talk, so Kate hits the button… which lets down the window a little. This completely freaks out Doc, and he says that Yates has been talking about Tanner, and several episodes of Breaking Bad. That makes Erik and Kate mad because they’re a season behind on Netflix. Fortunately for Doc, even though he’s freaking out and yelling, the thugs have extremely bad vision and can’t tell who’s in the car. They drive off before the thugs can even do a thing.

Meanwhile, at a very violent looking peace protest outside of the U.S. Embassy, Tanner arrives by limo. Everyone’s yelling at the limo like Lou is holding up a sign for Springsteen.


1:39pm – Margot attempts to stitch up her fishnet stockings, accidentally stitching up Simone instead. Margot tells Simone that she should be careful, because the American, whomever he was, found her once, when he shouldn’t have at all. Margot finishes and leaves, while Simone looks mysteriously around the room.

In the Erik/Kate car, they’re STILL driving around, meaning that they’re taking the very long way around back to headquarters despite driving very quickly. Kate says that the DOD app on her iPad says that Tanner claims someone took over his video game, probably using screen sharing technology. Kate says, “There’s something that makes all these pieces fit together…what are we not seeing?” Erik says, “A Plot?” Erik goes on to point out, yet again, that even though Kate is pretty sharp, she was still the one that was married to an agent for the Chinese, and didn’t even know it! Also, “Neener-Neerer”.

Kate’s phone rings: It’s Steve (again, no relation). Turns out that Kate’s team tattled on her, and she shouldn’t be doing anything. That is until Kate tells him that they were able to get some info. Then Steve says, “Well, then that’s OK then.”

Heller watches TV which announces that the crowd outside has nearly tripled, which means there’s probably about 10 people out there now, but they’re making a lot of noises due to enhanced special effects. Oh, and he’s in his bathrobe.

Audrey enters the room, and while they watch TV, Heller says, “They want blood”, which gets Audrey very excited, until she realized he doesn’t mean that literally. They want justice for what Tanner did.

Audrey mutes the TV. Heller picks up the remote to mute Audrey, but it doesn’t work. She says that she wants to talk to him about his appearance and Parliament. He says he’s perfectly comfortable in a bathrobe, and will wear it if he wants to, despite what Mark is worried about.

Heller insists that the treaty is going to have to happen here and now. Audrey points out that would be silly because there’s no one else here, and Mark wouldn’t like that. She tells Heller that he should continue to get dressed because it turns out the robe he’s wearing is a lot shorter than she realized.

Meanwhile, outside the U.S. Embassy, the mob continues to carry on. So, logically, Jack is in the street headed right for it and easily walks through the crowd. Except for one guy who pushes Jack. Luckily for him, Jack is in a hurry, so Jack doesn’t shoot him. Jack walks up to the non-angry line outside the embassy.

Back at Nerd Camp, Adrian changes the fake id code that Jack is going to try to use to get into the embassy with 8675309. The Nerd girl points out that not only is his name not Jenny, but it will also get Jack flagged by security.


1:51 – Nadeen is still trying to come to terms with Simone being with another guy and takes a drink of alcohol, which would make Margot furious, not only because it’s against her religion, but also because it’s her super expensive stash. Simone is concerned that Nadeen still hasn’t come to terms with what she had to do, to get the drone controller. Simone says that she HAD to kiss the nerd, but she swears he tasted terrible.

It turns out that Nadeen is having second thoughts about this whole “killing” thing. And “victims” and “blood”, and “nightmares”. This just isn’t working out the way it always does in the video games he plays, so he’s disillusioned. Simone says all the killing is perfectly AOK, because that’s what psychotic people do. She starts to kiss him while Margot watches on the ultra-creepy cam.

1:54 pm – The Prime Minister greets the President when he arrives, strangely out of site of any protestors. The PM suggests the President not address the Parliament, mainly because they’re not an envelope, but also because they are a really surly bunch like a pack of rabid congresspeople. Heller says he’s “with Churchill on this one”, forgetting that Churchill has been dead for quite some time but walks off before the PM can point this out.

Meanwhile Mark and Audrey argue about Heller, until she reveals that Mark keeps her in a box like a fragile keepsake. Mark points out that he only does this for his safety and the safety of all those around him, and that he has a key for that box.

The PM enters Parliament and introduces Heller, who’s going to speak to them. He gets out the words “Ladies and Gentlemen” and people start yelling, really confusing Heller, at least for now.

There’s a whole montage of scenes, which is mainly in place to waste a bit of time until the last scene.

Erik and Kate arrive where they were headed to so fast: The U.S. Embassy, which Jack arrived at long, long ago.

Jack, meanwhile, finally gets to the front of the line. The guard asks why Jack is there, and he says “To kick ass and take names. And visa versa”. The ID tag doesn’t match! There’s a tense moment back at Nerd Camp, and Chloe realizes Jack is in deep trouble. Jack walks away, beats up a policeman, grabs his gun and thigh shoots the guy that pushed him before! And someone else for good measure, causing mass panic. Jack runs into along with the crowd into the embassy with Kate and Erik hot in pursuit. Kate yells “Bauer” a couple of times, thinking that might stop Jack.

NEXT TIME: Elbow hits! Jack talks to Tanner! Hostages! Exploding doors!

Season 7 – 24 – 5 am to 6 am

If you’re new to the blog, here’s what’s going on:

Each week that “24” airs, Dave Barry hosts a “live blog” of what’s happening on the show. Dave and the readers of the blog post funny comments about things they see in the show. While this is going on, I write a summary of the show with all my comments. I post that over on Dave’s blog, and here on my own.

Hope you like this week’s summary!

Previously on “24”, We found out that: Jonas forgot the first rule of witness protection – Never get into a car that’s wired for explosives, probably “accidentally” set there by Olivia; Jibraan gave a speech to a video camera that rivaled Janice’s acting ability; Tony must hate Subway sandwiches, because he wants to blow one up; Chloe discovered the S&H green stamps on the bank deposits looked fake; Jack was given forgiveness, but didn’t want it, so he’s about to trade it in for some revenge instead.

5:00 am – Evil woman is talking on the phone while a guy in an Intel Bunny Suit plays around with the canister. He tests it, even letting the smoke get all over him, and even though Evil woman isn’t wearing a bunny suit and anyone else would be running around screaming like a maniac, she doesn’t look very concerned.

5:02 am – Tony wires up Jibraan with a microphone. Jibraan gets his hopes up that he might be getting punked, but Tony pretty much shoots that down by being extra scary and threatening Jibraan’s brother. Tony tells Jibraan to go down into the subway while he watches from the van.

Meanwhile, Evil Woman is getting ready for a costume party by putting on 1960s hair, which makes her look like that great half of Sonny and Cher… yes, I’m speaking of Sonny Bono. She takes the canister, which probably hasn’t even been washed off, and puts it into a bag.

5:04 am – Jack questions Jibraan’s brother, who hasn’t read far enough into the script to know what’s going on, so that’s a dead end. The guy that got stabbed with the mirror shard still isn’t dead, but he looks like he’d be ready for a bit part in a remake of Dawn of the Dead. He won’t say anything about it, but Jack convinces him by pressing on his neck, which has to be the least violent thing Jack has ever done. The guy with the massive neck wound agrees to call Tony after Jack “convinces” him.
Continue reading “Season 7 – 24 – 5 am to 6 am”

Season 7 – 24 – 4 am to 5 am

If you’re new to the blog, here’s what’s going on:

Each week that “24” airs, Dave Barry hosts a “live blog” of what’s happening on the show. Dave and the readers of the blog post funny comments about things they see in the show. While this is going on, I write a summary of the show with all my comments. I post that over on Dave’s blog, and here on my own.

Hope you like this week’s summary!

Previously on “24”: Tony found a new way to use a shower curtain and he will use it, in case the canister doesn’t work out; Olivia continued to think that just because her mom is President, her opinion actually counts for something; Chloe came back to fix the computers that Janis can’t figure out; Jack yelled at Janis which made millions of people really happy, but from the look on her face, none of what Jack said sank into her thick skull.

4:00 am – At the Pakistani home, Tony and his evil woman have broken in, and finally got their free Internet access. They also uploaded a lot of propaganda to the Jibraan’s computers, trying to make it look like he spends way, way too much time on Facebook, and to make him look like a terrorist.

Tony wants Jibraan to read a statement to a camera, which Jibraan is hesitant to do because it declares that his favorite website is Geocities. He’s pretty upset about it.

4:05 am – At FBI, Chloe tells Jack that they’ve gone through everything on Twitter, and have seen no mention of an attack anywhere in the DC area. Jack wants to expand this to Muslim extremists since Jonas Hodges said he was going to use them as a cover. When Janice objects, Jack asks if she has a better idea. Janice suggests they look at everyone that isn’t an extremist, and then when they have all of them eliminated, look at everyone who’s left over. Jack thinks it would be quicker if they did things his way, and Janice finally agrees.

Jack has a brief memory lapse and walks away. This surprises Chloe, since Jack can recite nearly as many digits of PI as she can. She confronts Janice and Renee, who tell him that Jack got the wrong end of the deadly gas, and Jack exposed himself.

Chloe’s pretty upset, and confronts Jack, telling him that he needs to be at the hospital. Jack says that it would make for a much more boring show if he did that. Chloe makes a very, very sad face. Sadder even than when Edgar died. Jack tells her that they need to find Tony, and she’s the only one that can help him, other than everyone else in the FBI.
Continue reading “Season 7 – 24 – 4 am to 5 am”

Season 7 – 24 – 3 am to 4 am

If you’re new to the blog, here’s what’s going on:

Each week that “24” airs, Dave Barry hosts a “live blog” of what’s happening on the show. Dave and the readers of the blog post funny comments about things they see in the show. While this is going on, I write a summary of the show with all my comments. I post that over on Dave’s blog, and here on my own.

Hope you like this week’s summary!

Previously on “24”: Jonas was offered a red pill, but instead of freeing himself from the 24 Matrix, it nearly killed him; Tony shot himself, since there wasn’t anyone else around to shoot and he got bored; Renee was very distraught about Larry’s death, and stared off into space to emphasize her grief; Jack figured out that Tony isn’t acting in the government’s best interest, mainly because Tony told him so; Kim listened to Jack, for once, but at exactly the wrong time; Jack’s reaction to Tony’s revelation is to fall down to the ground and try to break dance, which wasn’t nearly as cool as Jack had hoped.

3:00 am – Jack’s in an ambulance, getting some medication for the seriously bad break dancing he was doing, and is able to mumble enough to tell Renee that Tony has to be stopped. Renee thinks he said, “Tony has the mops”. After calling Home Depot, she realizes he means, “be stopped”.

Renee radios agent about Tony. Agents near Tony misinterpret this and play “catch the bullet” with Tony, and lose. Since they’re unlikely to rise from the dead (and even if they did, they’d just shamble), Tony takes their car.

At this point, Jack is awake enough to tell Renee that he made a big mistake about Tony: He’s Evil Tony, not Good Tony. Jack tells her they need to call Mrs. President, so she can worry about what’s going to happen too.

3:06 am – Tony, fresh from his confession to Jack and mini killing spree, is tired, so he goes to a motel for some rest. Unfortunately, there’s a guy in the room who wants to talk to Tony about the canister and money, and Tony just wants to rest. The guy asks for proof that Tony wired the money to his account, and Tony gives him a small piece of paper with a fortune on one side, and the account number on the other. He throws Tony a bag, after checking the account has the money in it.
Tony sees that the bag contains a phone book that is completely unlike a canister, and turns around to see the guy pointing a gun at him.

If the guy had only read the fortune: “Things aren’t going to work out well for you”, he would have realized his double cross wasn’t going to work. Tony uses his slick Phonebook-Fu moves, gets the gun away, and chokes him with a handy shower curtain, which will likely be an extra charge when he checks out in the morning.
Continue reading “Season 7 – 24 – 3 am to 4 am”

Season 7 – 24 – 2 am to 3 am

Previously on “24”: Jonas went to the White House, made a nice speech and got arrested; Kim Bauer dropped by to give Jack some hugs and possibly some stem cells, which Jack hopes to use to save his life, and to grow a couple more arms so he can shoot four guns at a time; Tony found some explosives to blow up, and in a fit of enthusiasm choked Larry to death, or at least to unconsciousness, much like the audience. He sure is up to something.

2:00 am – Someone named Tricia gets a phone call to get to the White House right away, since so many people have already been killed off this episode. So, she heads outside and immediately gets gassed by a man and woman that take her identity. The woman not the man. Anyway, Tricia gets the award for the quickest character introduction and probably death in 24 history. Bravo, Tricia! Anyway, the man and woman figure out how to make fingerprints out of cellophane tape, and grab one from Tricia’s thumb.

2:01 am – Renee and Janice have no idea where their suspect is, so they set up a perimeter, because that’s what you do when you look for people on “24”. Also, they haven’t heard from Larry, but they don’t seem too concerned.

2:02 am – Tony is next to Larry, who appears to be quite dead. Tony is so upset about this, he shoots himself . The guy Renee and Janis are looking for calls Tony AFTER Tony shoots himself, which was pretty inconsiderate, since Tony did just shoot himself. Tony tells the guy that the canister is worth a lot of money, so it’s likely not a script for next season’s 24. Cars arrive and find Tony and Larry.

2:04 am – Kim stops by to tell Renee “Goodbye”. Renee is surprised that Kim’s already leaving, since she was supposed to give Jack some stem cells.

2:05 am – Agent Park, who has ZERO bedside manner, tells Renee that Larry is dead. Renee, in some of her best acting ever, stares straight ahead long enough to make her eyes water. Turns out that Renee is now in charge.

Janice’s reaction is to pull her earplug out of here ear and look worried, since she’s pretty sure that she’s been sucking up to the wrong person all this time.

Renee wants to go out and help find who killed Larry.

2:09 am – Elsewhere in FBI headquarters, Jack is being tortured by having to answer a lot of questions about what’s happened in the plot so far, including some very pointed questions about Tony’s interrogation “techniques”.

2:10 am – Jack takes a break after being lured into the hallway by the sight of guns and SWAT uniforms, which are two things Jack can’t resist. Renee informs Jack that the bioweapon is completely, 100% contained, so there’s nothing to worry about, since the 90% containment they have is sure to be just AOK. She’s at least sure that the 80% containment is nothing for anyone to worry about, even if it is more like 70% or more likely 60%. She finally tells Jack that she’s 50% sure everything will be OK if they get the stolen canister back. Oh, and Larry’s dead. Renee just walks off. Jack is pretty surprised by this, so he goes for a run down the hallway in the opposite direction.
Continue reading “Season 7 – 24 – 2 am to 3 am”

Season 7 – “24” – 12 am to 1 am

Last time on 24: Jack took off his clothes in the middle of the street, stopping traffic for miles; Jack’s also infected, and it’s not from previously touching Audrey; Olivia is Head Staff Weasel; Tony raided an empty warehouse.

12:00 am – Tony and Larry talk out of the corner of their mouths, as if the guys pointing guns at them don’t see them talking. Three Humvees drive up, because that’s how many it takes to bring Hodges to talk to Larry.

Jonas yells a lot and pretends that he’s innocent of doing all kinds of bad things. He tells Larry that he wants Greg back, because Greg chafes a lot if he’s kept captive too long.

12:03 am – Out of no where, Jack realizes that someone might be able to help – a guy named Deus Ex Machina, going under the alias Douglas Knowles, the chairman of Starkwood.

Jack gives him a call, and it turns out that Douglas was hoping Jack would call. He’s probably a big 24 fan. They rehash the current state of the plot for a little while, just in case everyone happened to forget what occurred last week. This is a regular feature on the show, usually with different people talking about what happened the week before.

Douglas thinks he might know where a bio-weapon might be hidden – in the Bio-Weapon hanger on the Starkwood compound.
Continue reading “Season 7 – “24” – 12 am to 1 am”

Season 7 – 24 – 4pm to 5 pm

Previously on 24, we found out that: People STILL don’t know Jack’s reputation so he has them “ask around” about it; Dubaku disliked Henry’s finger so much he asked to have it removed; Dubaku is good at bamboozling American women; Larry likes meeting people at the Forrest Gump Reflecting Pool; When people walk on set while Jack Bauer is working, people get killed; Renee is great at scaring little children; Jack has no regard for shooting innocent beer; Henry’s dream of a circus career catching bullets has taken a very serious turn.

The following takes place between 4:00pm and 5:00pm.

4:00pm – In some incredible driving, ambulances are already with Henry. Jack appears to be ready to operate on Henry when the drivers take their own lives in their hands by telling Jack to “get out of the way” which is usually code for “shoot me”. Jack lets them take over, so he can make a phone call to the Mrs. President. She is surprisingly unemotional about Henry getting shot, and lets Bill take over her security. He also manages to get Chloe a job as a “stay-at-home-mom-who-plays-with-computers-at-the-FBI”. Fortunately, she has that on her resume.

4:06 – Dubaku finds his girlfriend at work, and gives her an unbelievable story about the INS actually shipping him out of the country. He appears to be the first one they’re going to test this “shipping out of the country” thing on. He asks Marika to NOT tell her sister, since she’s the one that came up with the INS scheme in the first place.

4:08 – Dubaku calls an evil travel agent to arrange a flight out of the country. Dubaku wants to meet at the Roosevelt Continental hotel, presumably because it has a lobby with no lights in it, since he’s used to hanging out in those places.

4:10 – Renee makes one attempt to boot one of the Evil Dubaku laptops, but gets scared off when it says, “Abort/Retry/Kill”, so she tells Jack the computer won’t boot. Unfortunately for Jack, Chloe isn’t there. She’d be able to LOOK at the disk and tell him what’s on it. Since Chloe isn’t there, they start looking through the dead bodies to see if any of them know anything about booting computers. Just as Renee is about to call Geek Squad, Larry calls, which is pretty much the same thing.

Larry tells Renee he’s heard from Bill, and knows what’s been going on. She brags about taking down six of Dubaku’s men and countless bottles of beer. Larry then takes the time to complain about Jack, and his tactics that got Renee scaring Mrs. Vosseler and her kid. Renee says she doesn’t like the fact that she had to scare the bejeebies out of Mrs. Vosseler, but the little kid really had it coming.

Jack overhears part of the conversation, whispers “rookies”, and then interrupts the phone call to mention that he found a couple of PDAs, cross-referenced them by downloading the “iCrossReference’ app from the Apple store, and found some banking transactions registered to an address. They’re heading to the apartment in hopes there are some things to shoot.


4:16 pm – Marika arrives at her apartment, where her sister has fallen asleep from, coincidently, “24”. She goes to pack.

4:17 pm – Morris, Chloe and their CHILD participate briefly in a XM Genesis product placement. Chloe says she’s going in to work on the computers. She tells Morris to watch their son “Prescott” because with a name like that he’s already getting beaten up by other four year olds, and she doesn’t want to take any chances.

4:18 – Janis argues with Larry after realizing that getting through all the levels in Spider Solitaire might just be busy work he has her doing. Chloe arrives, and immediately gives Janis the evil eye. We’ve all missed Chloe.

In a separate room, Chloe gets to use Macintoshes, the universal “good guy” computer. She’s a little worried that people might figure out what she’s doing. Larry tells her not to worry, and explains how the computers are set up. Chloe tells him that whoever set things up doesn’t know a breakpoint from a hole in the ground, and it turns out LARRY has been dinking around with the computers in his spare time.

4:19 – Larry starts to try and get in some digs on Jack, and Chloe will have none of it – She points out that Larry should spend a little more time figuring out his mole problem, and a little less time envying Jack so much.

4:20 – Moments later, after Larry assured Chloe that she would be able to work without anyone catching on that she’s there, Shaun’s in-office girlfriend tells Janis all about Chloe, and wonders out loud what she’s doing there. Janis moves an eyebrow, which is apparently her way of acting suspicious… or maybe constipated.

4:21 – Dubaku meets with Evil Travel Agent at the hotel and immediately spots all of Evil Travel Agent’s cohorts scattered around the lobby. Dubaku says if anything bad happens, like an accident, an exploding plane, or an in-flight movie of “Home Alone 4: Not This Again”, he’s going to wire all the information he has to the Justice Department, and knowing them, they’ll be able to figure out what’s going on in a few months, so Evil Travel Agent could be in pretty big trouble. Dubaku leaves.

Evil Travel Agent calls someone to let them know Dubaku has figured everything out, and to cancel the in-flight movie. They need to get Dubaku out of the country.

4:22 – Marika’s sister, Rosa, wakes up, and uses her powers of deduction to figure out that Marika’s suitcase means she’s leaving. Rosa tells her that “Samuel” isn’t to be trusted, Marika doesn’t believe him and goes to leave – Just as Jack kicks the door open! They ask for Dubaku, and neither Rosa or Marika know who Jack is talking about. Jack shows them the screensaver on his phone, and Rosa realizes Samuel is this “Dubaku” Jack is looking for. Marika doesn’t take this very well, and Rosa looks completely vindicated, but still pretty scared at the strange man yelling at them.


4:30 pm – Mrs. President arrives with a secret detail of guys dressed up in complete Army gear. She meets with a doctor who tells her all kinds of scary medical stuff he learned by watching House, and that Henry is in very serious condition. He then excuses himself, saying he has to wash his hands, which is doctor code for “I didn’t vote for you”.

She sees Henry being rolled down the hallway to surgery, and tells Henry that he was right about their son all along. She then goes to watch the surgery through a window, because she’s a big fan of House too. She asks Bill to get her daughter Olivia, but to only use someone Bill trusts, and who hasn’t made a cameo yet this season.

4:35 pm – Back at Marika’s apartment, Renee goes through all her picture phone photos of Dubaku, and the one with Dubaku dressed up as an evil clown is the one that finally convinces her. She was going to meet Dubaku to leave the country, so Jack wants her to talk to him. She’s really freaked out about this, because Dubaku might be dressed up like that clown again. She takes the call, and lies to Dubaku that Rosa understands everything. Dubaku is sending a car with a driver to pick up Marika. She’s relieved to get off the phone, and Jack asks for a “favor”, of going to Dubaku so they can try and grab him. She agrees. Jack asks for her phone, installs some cool “iTrackYou” software, and they’re all set. Rosa doesn’t like this and hugs Marika through an entire phone call Jack makes to Chloe. Chloe tells him that she can set up the tracking, but Larry installed Windows 3.1 on all the rest of the computers in her office, so instead of a couple of seconds, it’s going to take her a couple of minutes.

Meanwhile, Janis tries to break in to see what Chloe is trying to do. She again looks frustrated, or at least what passes for her acting frustrated.


4:44 pm – Presidential daughter Olivia turns out to be a lobbyist, but since they have a contract, she’s not really a lobbyist. The person picking up Olivia is….Secret Service Agent Aaron, the most trusted Secret Service Agent on 24! She gives him a hard time until he tells her that her father is in surgery, and that she’s acting like a spoiled brat.

4:46 pm – Janis asks Shaun for the “digital data key”, because she’s paranoid about Chloe. Shaun is hesitant about this until Janis tells him that she’ll show him “The Difference Between Cats and Dogs”, and he agrees, after calling her a naughty word.

Chloe calls Jack and says they’re all set to go.

4:48 pm – They go to leave, and Rosa tells Renee to keep Marika safe. Renee starts to give Marika instructions to keep her safe, and Jack stops her. Jack says that’s the “sissy” way of covert operations. Renee says she’s not comfortable about letting Marika out there “naked”. Jack asks if she’s wearing X-Ray specs, because it sure looks to him like she’s wearing clothes. The car arrives, Marika gets in, and it drives off.

Since Renee has an old piece of equipment from several months ago, Chloe says it’s too old to use and decides to talk Jack trough the whole surveillance.

Janis goes into the computer room, gets access to the high score list for Bejeweled for the office computers, and finds out what Chloe is working on.


4:55 – Wort on Forehead Thug drives Marika, while Jack and Renee follow, while Janis watches – Janis does something and it breaks Chloe’s screen. It comes back, and Chloe nearly instantly realizes her terminal is being spied on. Larry is baffled about what might be happening.

Suddenly, Jack’s car is surrounded by a lot of police cars, but not so many it would make an excellent car chase, so he lets them stop him. Larry gets on the phone and tells the police to let Jack go before he starts shooting people in the thigh. Chloe finds a warrant for Jack and Renee’s arrest, which says they’re armed, dangerous, and very, very covert. Larry argues some more with the police.

Janis brings back her “data key” to Shawn and spills her guts about what she saw. Shawn seems slightly surprised about this, and Janis says she doesn’t like what’s happening.

Shawn must be auditioning for a contestant spot on “The Mole”, because he calls Evil Travel Agent, and lets him know what’s happening. Shawn seems very upset that Dubaku is still alive, and is even more upset that his name is in an actual database! He’s going to be really freaked out when he finds out what they do with e-mail lists on the Internet. As much as we all hate Janis, it turns out she’s merely stupid, and not The Mole Of The Day So Far.

4:59 – Evil Travel Agent calls Dubaku and lets him know Marika is helping Jack. Dubaku looks really upset about this news, and says he’ll “take care of” Marika.

Time’s up!


24 – Season 7 – 12 pm to 1 pm

Previously on 24, we found out that: Chloe, Bill and Tony miss CTU so much that they’re doing CTU pro bono work; Chloe can probably use a toaster to break into a computer system if she really wanted to; Thugs should never tell their boss “It’s either me or him”; If you’re on the bad guys team, they issue you a standard set of dark clothes; Jack’s golf game has a mean slice, even when trying to break through dry wall.

12:00 pm – Agent Larry talks with a SWAT commander who says he’s afraid of exposing his men when they go try and get the Prime Minister. Larry tells them to wear coats, and to watch out for bullets from Tony and Jack’s new BFFs.

Over at the prime minster’s place, Emerson can’t get into the room, so he decides to punch one of the body guards who looks like Yemi from Lost. They don’t appear to know about Yemi’s friendship with a certain Smoke Monster, because they really beat him up.

While this is going on, Jack decides to do a bit of freelance handyman work, and crawls up into the ceiling for a plot device to exploit. Tony and Jack discuss their plans to make sure and get the Prime Minister so they can get to who they REALLY want to (Dubaku), completely unafraid of being overheard by the bad guys who are just eight feet away.

12:04 pm – Agent Larry gets an urgent message from the Attorney General, and calls Agent Renee Walker, who is driving in the completely empty streets of Washington, D.C. Agent Larry is quite upset about Renee using what she learned on America’s Funniest Interrogation Videos, and knows what she did to Tanner The Sniper. They argue about Renee going to the Prime Minster’s house, and she wins by hanging up on Larry.

Shaun is on the phone with his wife having an incredibly creepy conversation during a pretty big FBI operation. Shaun seems to have a lot of extra time on his hands, but successfully fills a few minutes of valuable air-time before the show moves on to a more interesting plot point.

12:06 – Back in the Prime Minster’s safe room, he inserts a few more quarters into the machine to make sure it stays locked for another thirty minutes. He’s pretty worried they’re going to run out of quarters soon.

His wife asks what Jack and Tony want, because she’s running out of different ways to says “Who is it?” to stall them. The Prime Minister says that they want the names of his allies in Sangala. She says that even though it’s a fake country, she knows that he would never expose them. (What’s with everyone exposing themselves tonight?) She realizes that she’s the real person he’s protecting, and she looks worried.

12:07 – It took a while, but Emerson finally figured out how to use the webcam that leads into the safe room. Emerson threatens to shoot the guy who looks like Yemi, if the Prime Minister doesn’t come out soon. Yemi’s not afraid, because he knows he’s got an “in” with the island. Emerson counts down, is about to shoot Yemi when Yemi’s phone gets a call from the FBI! Those guys have the BEST timing.

Turns out it’s Shaun on the phone, but he hangs up after nobody answers. Emerson uses his powers of deduction to realize that since the FBI called, they might know what’s happening at the Prime Minster’s place. He’s still not sure, so he asks Yemi. Yemi doesn’t answer, so Emerson hits him for the umpteenth time.

Tony, Emerson and a Miscellaneous Thug argue about what to do next. Jack walks in and says he has a plan to “flush them out” with “gas”, which disgusts everyone until he explains what he means. Miscellaneous Thug still doesn’t believe the FBI isn’t right around the corner, even after Jack explains the magic of “24” traffic rules to him – The FBI office 21 miles away will take least 15 minutes to get to them (with traffic!). They finally quit arguing after Jack says he can make some gas that he learned about by watching MacGyver. Tony and Jack are pretty sure of themselves, because they discuss their plan AGAIN, thinking that no one is within listening range of them.


12:15 – Back at the Prime Minister’s residence, Jack works on his MacGyver gas in the air ducks. It doesn’t look at all like baking soda, vinegar and dry ice. Emerson gets back on his webcam to let the Prime Minister know about the gas, saying it isn’t laughing gas that’s pouring into the room. The Prime Minister and his wife take a chance and decide to cough and choke a bit while they think about it.

12:16 – Agent Janis is completely shocked to find that someone from the Attorney General’s office wants to talk to her about a letter he received from The Snipe’s lawyers about something that happened less than half an hour ago. Things like this usually take a lot longer than that. She, of course, denies every thing, and Agent Larry grabs her away. She seems completely fine with that.

12:18 – Renee is outside of the Prime Minster’s residence, which is still a completely police officer free zone.

Inside, Miscellaneous Thug wants Jack to “put more gas” in. Jack tells him that would “kill them instantly”. It appears that whatever gas Jack uses moves more quickly the more you make of it, and knowing Jack something like that is completely possible. Since Miscellaneous Thug doesn’t understand chemistry, he leaves.

Meanwhile, the safe room has turned into the unsafe room, what with all the poison gas and all. Mrs. Prime Minister decides to hit the “deal” button, and the door opens. Tony and Jack help them out of the unsafe room, and out of the house.

They move the prisoners to an inconspicuous large yellow ice cream truck while Renee watches. She calls Agent Larry, lets him know what is happening, and is promptly caught by Miscellaneous Thug. Larry tells Janis to get Renee back. Janis nearly leaves, but realizes Larry met to get Renee back on the phone. Larry trips one of the FBI extras in the room, and leaves.

Miscellaneous Thug brings Renee over. She swears at Jack using some naughty words, and they lock her into the yellow ice cream truck. The truck leaves without turning on the bells, which disappoints all the children in the area.

12:22 – Emerson calls Nichols to let him know that Renee knows the FBI knows that nearly everyone knows they want to know what the Prime Minster knows. What they don’t know is what Renee might know about what’s REALLY going on, so they have to check their source at the FBI. Renee takes this opportunity to call Jack a naughty word.


12:28 – Henry’s Secret Service Agent Brian gets off the phone with a friend, who says he’ll help break the encryption on the thumb drive. These guys are obviously computer experts because they were able to determine the drive was encrypted even without having a computer with them to check it. They chit-chat a bit, going over what they’re doing, in case we’ve all forgotten last week’s show when we fell asleep.

Brian’s idea is to meet this “friend” in an apartment in about 20 minutes, which sounds completely safe to Henry. Henry says that he knew Roger was murdered all along, and he can’t wait to go “neener-neener-neener!” to everyone that didn’t believe him. He also wants to find the people that killed Roger and make them pay. Brian wants to tell the President, but Henry says it’ll be more exciting if he waits until later in the show.

12:29 –Ethan comes in to talk to the President, and doesn’t even bother knocking first, which in past administrations was a big “no-no”. It was safe though, because all the President was doing was looking at her script to make sure she got her lines right. The President wants to do a military strike in Sangala, and cites many good reasons to do so, not the least of which is that it is a fictional country.

The Secretary of State comes in and tells everyone about the Prime Minister’s abduction and that Tony and Jack are with them. She just can’t believe it, and paces around to prove that. The President wants to find the Prime Minster, and tells Stevens to bring in “every relevant agency”, forgetting that CTU isn’t around anymore.

12:32 – At the FBI, Shaun walks around and acts generally creepy around Blonde Female Agent… And then we find out why: They’re having an affair.

Janis interrupts just in time to spare us any further creepy talk, and asks Shaun to “babysit her downloads”, which sounds even creepier than what Shaun was just talking about with Blonde Female Agent.

Larry takes a phone call from the head SWAT Guy, who just got done sweeping up at the Prime Minister’s residence. SWAT really is a full service outfit nowadays, if they’re housecleaning too! After SWAT Guy tells Larry about Renee, Larry FINALLY tells Janis that everybody in the office should making finding Renee a top priority. That’s probably good, because so far it seems like it’s just been Larry, Janis, Shawn on the job.

12:34 – The yellow ice cream van drives down the road. Renee decides that it’s a great time to apologize to the Prime Minister, even though she’s never met him before. The Prime Minister thinks this is a little creepy, but tells her not to worry about it.

Emerson gets a phone call from Nichols and nearly takes an ice cream order before realizing who it really is. The news is, Renee found out about the abduction because of The Sniper, and as far as everyone knows, nobody knows anything else. He tells Emerson to kill Renee.

Emerson tells the driver to drive to an abandoned construction site. Jack seems interested in the fact that Washington must have a lot of those, just like LA does.

Tony suggests that they find out what Renee knows. Emerson disagrees. Tony wants to suggest that they really, REALLY try to find out what Renee knows, but creepy music starts playing and the discussion ends.


12:40 – Agent Larry is still really upset that Renee is missing. Shaun is shocked that Larry’s acting this way and is really shocked when Janis tells him that Larry has “feelings” for Renee. Shaun says that bad 1970s songs were banned from the office, when Janis tells him she’s sure Larry and Renee have a relationship. She says she knows this because of her “instinct”. Shaun looks a little worried this “instinct” will reveal not only that he and Blonde Female Agent have an affair going, but also that Janis is about to figure out she’s the only one in the office not seeing someone else at the office.

12:41 – Dubaku gets off a phone call from Juma, who tells him that the President hasn’t moved any troops anywhere. Nichols tells him to look on the bright side, and that an invasion hasn’t started either and that just means more screen time for all the actors who aren’t in that other subplot. Dubaku wants to use the module again, and Nichols convinces him not to do so.

12:42 – Brian and Henry get to the apartment, which is completely secure since they hid the key under the doormat. Brian re-secures the room by putting the key back under the mat after Henry enters.

Henry looks around. He realizes that they’re in Samantha’s apartment, just in time to see Brian putting on some rubber gloves. Henry protests and says that he didn’t mean THAT kind of investigation. Brian explains everything to Henry, and Henry keels over from the muscle poison he slipped into Henry’s drink. Brian promises to make Henry’s death quick.

Brian goes into the next room to pick out some cutlery, and uses his “phone a friend” to tell Agent Vossler to get Samantha and bring her there. Their plan is to frame Henry for the murder, and stage a suicide. Brian explains Henry that he’s REALLY sorry about the whole “killing you” thing.

12:46 – Agent Vossler tells Samantha that she needs to be put into “protective custody”, which should be less creepy than it sounds, but won’t be. She agrees.


12:51 – Shaun and Janis take some time to stall some more by rehashing even more of the “Renee and The Sniper” plot we saw last week.

The guy from the Attorney General’s office goes to talk to Agent Larry and informs him that he knows that Renee is missing. Larry explains the situation, but the guy decides to be a jerk and presses the point that he would just love to have an investigation as soon as he possibly could. Agent Larry stands up to the guy for being a jerk.

Janis calls Larry, using the same ringtone they used to use in CTU. She tells him that Renee was referenced during an NSA intercepted phone conversation, and it wasn’t a telemarketer. She tells Larry to come and listen to the conversation.

While Larry is on his way over, Janis tries to impress Shaun with her elite minesweeper skills, but he isn’t impressed. Larry finally gets there and they play the clip: They’re going to kill Renee.

12:55 – The yellow van stops at the abandoned construction site, and Emerson gives Jack a gun to kill Renee. He and Tony get Renee. Emerson and Miscellaneous Thug watch while she and Jack talk. Jack fake kills her, grazing her neck.

12:59 – Jack covers her with a giant sheet of plastic wrap, and walks back. Emerson tells Jack and Tony to bury her, which Tony and Jack start to do, even though Renee is really still alive.

1:00 pm – TIME’S UP!


24 – Season 7 – 11 am to 12 noon

Previously on 24 happened 5 minutes ago

11:00 am – Janis immediately tells Walker that Tony and Jack got into a black panel van, which is interesting because they really got into a bright blue van. Sean tells Walker someone is still jamming cameras.

Agent Larry and Agent Walker talk, and they’re both pretty upset that Jack is a much, much better Agent than they are. A phone call comes for Larry, from the White House. Walker swears she’ll get Jack.

Janis brings up a profile on Tanner – he’s a Gulf vet, tried to sue the government, his momma can’t dance, and his daddy don’t rock and roll. Walker says she wants to talk to him when he wakes up.

11:01 – Larry’s phone call with the White House doesn’t go very well when he tells them that Tony and Jack are working together. Ethan tells Larry that he “royally screwed up”, and that he knows, because he’s made some pretty bad decisions himself. They tell him that getting Jack and Tony is his only priority.

Ethan says, “Bottom line, the Bureau is not going to be an answer to our prayers.” Allison says, “Yes, but a nice Futon might be. How much time does this leave us?” Ethan tells her a little less than two episodes, so they better get around to picking furniture right away. They rehash the plot line they talked about just a few minutes ago, and walk around, speaking in very concerned voices.

11:06 – For a bunch of guys on the run, Bill, Tony and Jack sure do take their own sweet time walking up the set of stairs in their own secret hideout – but that’s what they’re doing.

Jack asks Bill, “What do you call this place?” Bill says, “CTU, with light and wood paneling”. Chloe appears and says, “Hey.” Jack says, “Hey”.

Jack asks the burning question, “Tony, why the heck aren’t you dead?” Tony tells him that he was dead for 10 minutes, but Dr. Horrible brought him back to life by singing a song Joss Whedon wrote, and via a hypo needle that Emerson supplied. Rather than using this miracle drug to make millions, Emerson decided to recruit a bunch of ex-operatives to hire out to clients.

Tony says he really was working for Emerson, at was a very naughty boy. The last straw was the module, and that Dubaku was planning on killing innocent Americans. Tony couldn’t go to the authorities because the plot line for this season would be a lot shorter, and wouldn’t have involved Jack at all. Besides, there were agents within the government that Dubaku was paying off, so it wouldn’t have worked anyway.

Tony says he needs to get back undercover right away. Jack points out that everybody is going to know that Tony escaped, and might have made a deal with Monty Hall, and possibly the US attorney. Jack realizes he might be able to help, and asks how many people are involved in this very complex operation. Bill says counting himself, Tony and Chloe – Three. He says, “Three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.” Chloe says, “Skip a bit, Bill”. Bill starts to continue, but Jack interrupts to ask if they have proof. Bill says, they do, but only at the lowest level, and that they need more quarters to make it to a higher level. Jack says he’ll help, but only because they’re the only people he can trust right now.

11:10 – A thug meets with Emerson to tell him that he has a couple of fresh thugs to replenish the supply, since the last thugs were shot. Emerson is surprised to receive a phone call from Tony, who says that everything is fine because Jack is on-board with the plan, is ready to synergize the strategy, and is generally a hoopy frood who knows where his towel is. Emerson tells Tony to bring Jack with him when he comes back.


11:16 – Henry writes a note, puts it in his pocket, and tells Agent Named-By-Dr-Seuss that he needs to go see Samantha. The Agent agrees to get a car so they can go. President Allison tells Henry that she has to meet with the Prime Minister, but she isn’t sure what to do. Henry says that she’ll do the right thing, and she asks him not to quote movie titles.

11:19 – Sean tells Walker that they have 17 units in the field. Walker wants Sean to widen a perimeter, which isn’t a euphemism, so he does. They want to find Jack.

Sean’s wife calls Sean from a plane, directly into the middle of the top secret FBI analyst room, using an airline phone that can’t possibly be hacked. Sean admits that there’s a problem with the planes up in the air right now, and that she shouldn’t worry. Surprisingly, she’s not at all worried by this news, but is in fact relieved, indicating she must have some kind of “I react completely the opposite of the way most people would react” syndrome. She promises to call Sean as soon as possible.

Turns out that Janis isn’t the only nosey person in the analyst room: Erika asks Sean about his wife’s plane. Sean seems really irritated by the fact this this plot line seems a lot more like Die Hard 2 as time goes on.

Janis runs over to Walker to let her know that The Sniper is now awake, and ready to not answer any questions. Walker promotes Janis to Field Agent Janis, and they leave to go talk to Tanner (The Sniper).

11:21 – Jack asks Tony about Emerson. Tony says, he’s British, former SAS, urban warfare, sniping, close quarter combat, and a really good dancer. Tony tells Jack that Emerson treated him like a brother when nobody else would. Jack says, “What, do you mean like… noogies? Is this going to be a problem?” Tony assures Jack that he’ll do what has to be done.

11;22 – They pull up to a building on yet another completely deserted DC street. Tony rings the doorbell, and says, “Candygram”. A thug answers, and lets them in. Emerson tells Thug One and Thug Two to take Jack downstairs, because he needs to talk to Tony alone. They do. Emerson tells Tony that Jack isn’t worth the risk.

11:23 – Jack has a seat downstairs, while Emerson and Tony talk things over. Emerson gets all Hollywood on Tony saying, “I’m going a different way.” Tony pleads Jack’s case, but Emerson won’t listen. He decides it would be better to get rid of Jack, and that Tony should be the one to do it.

11:24 – This doesn’t sit well with Chloe AT ALL. She and Bill have been listening in on one of Chloe’s listening devices, which she has access to, even after CTU disbanded. I can only guess she grabbed a handful on her way out of the building, or bought them at a CTU garage sale. Bill says that if Jack dies, Tony’s position will be complete, which sounds a little too “Emperor Palpatine” for Chloe. Chloe says that Bill must have known this was going to happen, and Bill admits he read ahead in the script, but Jack knew it too.

11:25 – Jack realizes what’s about to happen, so he decides to change things up and beats the hell out of both Thug One and Thug Two before they know what’s happening.

Emerson comes downstairs. Jack tells him that he’s much better than both Thug One and Thug Two put together, so Emerson should hire him instead. Emerson throws all logic out the window, and agrees. Even Thug Two thinks he’s crazy, and tells Emerson he’s going to leave if he doesn’t kill Jack. Emerson walks over to Jack, points his gun, turns and kills Thug Two with one shot. Emerson shoots him a couple of times more, because he remembered that even though Tony was dead, he came back, so he’s going to make EXTRA sure Thug Two won’t come back.


11:30 – Sean calls an air traffic controller, impersonates Agent Larry, GIVES HIS LEVEL 5 SECURITY CODE CORRECTLY, and has his wife’s plane re-routed. I’m guessing that Sean might have packed his wife’s bags this morning, and things aren’t going to end well.

11:31 – Dubaku has sent another message to the White House, which President Allison and the Prime Minister listen too. She rehashes her dilemma AGAIN, just to be sure that everyone watching fully understands. The Prime Minister throws in an extra problem: Juma’s about to attack a refugee camp. The PM pleads with her not to abandon his country, and leaves.

She turns to tell Ethan that she’s not happy with not knowing the slight “detail” about the refugee camp, and that if he knows anything else, like who the fifth cylon is, who’s going to win American Idol, or what the heck is going on Lost, she wants to know right now. Ethan wants her to back down, but she’s not so sure. She tells Ethan to check with the FBI about Tony and Jack.

11:35 – Emerson tells Jack, “No hard feelings”. Jack’s changed clothes, and is now wearing black like all the bad guys. They go into a big long dialog, about why Jack came back. Jack says things like, “I wanted to know what it felt like to walk into a propeller” and “I wanted to start a dialog”. The conversation was confusing enough that Emerson buys the whole thing. It also sets him off guard enough that he forgets to speak in his British accent. Emerson gets a phone call, and takes it.

11:39 – Tony walks over to Jack to ask what’s going on, and plants some kind of security bug near Jack, presumably Chloe and Bill can listen in. He tells Jack to watch himself around Emerson, but not in that way. Emerson isn’t to be trusted.

Emerson gets off the phone call, and says they have to get a package to a client. It turns out the “package” is the Prime Minister.

Chloe hears this and realizes they’re going to torture and probably kill the Prime Minister, possibly not even that order, and she’s upset. She wants to call someone. Bill says if they do that now, the show will end early, and they’ll never find out about the greater conspiracy. Chloe reluctantly goes along.


11:43 – Henry and his Secret Service Agent arrive at a park in yet another completely deserted street. Henry convinces the agent to leave, and goes off to talk to Samantha.

11:44 – Samantha meets with Henry and says that Roger’s death wasn’t an accident. Roger found out about some illegal trading going on, which even by the SEC’s recent standards couldn’t be ignored. Roger found out about a lot of offshore accounts that were trading with Sangala, which is weird since as we all know, it’s a fictional country. The evidence lead to a senior member of President Allison’s staff, but Samantha doesn’t know who it is. She gives Henry some evidence, and asks to be left out of it. We see that Henry’s Secret Service Agent was watching them from the bridge, probably taking video that’ll be posted to YouTube later.

11:48 – Walker and Janis arrive at the hospital, and tell the agent there to watch out for Tanner’s lawyers. Walker and Janis enter the room, and she starts questioning him. He must have been following tonight’s “action”, because he’s nearly asleep while he answers questions. He finally tells Walker to go away, she grabs him in the face and makes him do a fish imitation, but that doesn’t convince him to wake up or talk. The agent calls, and says the lawyers are on the way.

Walker and Janis leave the room. Walker tells Janis to stall the lawyers. Janis is pretty upset that Walker isn’t following federal guidelines, but finally goes along.

11:49 – Walker goes back in to talk to Tanner. Janis distracts the lawyers by saying she’s pretty sure she has reasonable grounds for a personal injury case, which gets them very excited.

In the hospital room, Tanner won’t talk to Walker so she pulls a gun on him and presses it into his gut. He doesn’t talk, and she starts to leave. He laughs, which causes her to turn around and cut off his air supply. He starts to choke just as they go to commercial.


11:55 – Janis keeps moving the lawyers around, who finally stop to ask a nurse. She looks him up and realizes there’s been a ventilator malfunction. The lawyers AND Janis quickly write down the name of the hospital on their hands, with the note: “In case of emergency, do NOT take me here”. The nurse runs to the room, which is jammed. Walker finally leaves the room, calls Agent Larry and lets him know about the plot to kidnap the Prime Minister. Larry tells her not to go alone, so she gets in the car to go alone.

11:57 – At the Sangalan embassy, a Sangalan agent who looks exactly like Eko’s brother Yemi from LOST, gets a phone call with a very similar ringtone to American ringtones. Agent Larry tells him that the Prime Minister is in danger. The agent hangs up and starts telling all the other agents that an interesting plot twist might just happen in a few minutes. They don’t even have to wait that long, because Emerson and crew blow up a glass window they were able to hide behind without anyone noticing. They run in and start shooting people.

11:58 – The agent gets the Prime Minister and his wife to a safe room, and they lock themselves inside, with the agent outside. The door looks secure, so Jack goes into a room right next to it and uses a golf club to tear a whole in the wall to get to the prime minster.

11:59 – The Prime Minister tries to make a phone call, but can’t. Jack realizes that he’s going to need a bigger golf club, because the one he has won’t go through the reinforced concrete.

12:00 noon – Time’s up!