Season 7 – 24 – 2 am to 3 am

Previously on “24”: Jonas went to the White House, made a nice speech and got arrested; Kim Bauer dropped by to give Jack some hugs and possibly some stem cells, which Jack hopes to use to save his life, and to grow a couple more arms so he can shoot four guns at a time; Tony found some explosives to blow up, and in a fit of enthusiasm choked Larry to death, or at least to unconsciousness, much like the audience. He sure is up to something.

2:00 am – Someone named Tricia gets a phone call to get to the White House right away, since so many people have already been killed off this episode. So, she heads outside and immediately gets gassed by a man and woman that take her identity. The woman not the man. Anyway, Tricia gets the award for the quickest character introduction and probably death in 24 history. Bravo, Tricia! Anyway, the man and woman figure out how to make fingerprints out of cellophane tape, and grab one from Tricia’s thumb.

2:01 am – Renee and Janice have no idea where their suspect is, so they set up a perimeter, because that’s what you do when you look for people on “24”. Also, they haven’t heard from Larry, but they don’t seem too concerned.

2:02 am – Tony is next to Larry, who appears to be quite dead. Tony is so upset about this, he shoots himself . The guy Renee and Janis are looking for calls Tony AFTER Tony shoots himself, which was pretty inconsiderate, since Tony did just shoot himself. Tony tells the guy that the canister is worth a lot of money, so it’s likely not a script for next season’s 24. Cars arrive and find Tony and Larry.

2:04 am – Kim stops by to tell Renee “Goodbye”. Renee is surprised that Kim’s already leaving, since she was supposed to give Jack some stem cells.

2:05 am – Agent Park, who has ZERO bedside manner, tells Renee that Larry is dead. Renee, in some of her best acting ever, stares straight ahead long enough to make her eyes water. Turns out that Renee is now in charge.

Janice’s reaction is to pull her earplug out of here ear and look worried, since she’s pretty sure that she’s been sucking up to the wrong person all this time.

Renee wants to go out and help find who killed Larry.

2:09 am – Elsewhere in FBI headquarters, Jack is being tortured by having to answer a lot of questions about what’s happened in the plot so far, including some very pointed questions about Tony’s interrogation “techniques”.

2:10 am – Jack takes a break after being lured into the hallway by the sight of guns and SWAT uniforms, which are two things Jack can’t resist. Renee informs Jack that the bioweapon is completely, 100% contained, so there’s nothing to worry about, since the 90% containment they have is sure to be just AOK. She’s at least sure that the 80% containment is nothing for anyone to worry about, even if it is more like 70% or more likely 60%. She finally tells Jack that she’s 50% sure everything will be OK if they get the stolen canister back. Oh, and Larry’s dead. Renee just walks off. Jack is pretty surprised by this, so he goes for a run down the hallway in the opposite direction.

2:12 am – Tony’s getting some treatment by the FBI guys. He thanks them, and then goes off to call the bad guy he’s in cahoots with. Tony thinks it would be really cool if the guy can cause a distraction by dancing like David Brent, but they end up deciding that blowing up some FBI agents would be a better idea.

2:13 am – Renee tries to leave by helicopter and Jack, through a magic trick (since he did go the opposite direction) ends up at the same helicopter too. He wants to go with, since he has a frequent flyer card and would like to max out his points before he dies. Jack promises that if his condition worsens, he’ll keel over so Renee can continue with the investigation.


2:17 am – Impostor Tricia Ames shows up at Jonas’ holding area because they have crack security, by which I mean they must be smoking crack.

2:18 am – Mrs. President is just SHOCKED that deadly gas is still loose. But enough about Olivia. Mrs. President is SHOCKED about the canister that’s missing too. Olivia decides to brighten the day by also telling her that Larry is dead. Mrs. President wants to know what Jonas knows, and wants him over at FBI, where they can coddle him for a while.

2:19 am – The Impostor Tricia shows up, and Jonas recognizes her. Jonas realizes pretty quickly that he’s going to be off the show in a few minutes unless he can talk his way out of things pretty quickly. She even excuses Jonas for exposing himself, and tells Jonas to do the “right thing” – take the red pill she gives him. Jonas is pretty sure this won’t be sending him into “The Matrix”, but he takes it from her anyway. Olivia arrives just in time to get him transferred, before Jonas can taste that red pill.

Impostor Tricia calls another new guy and lets him know that Jonas will “do the right thing”, and they still have Tony as their “inside man”. He tells her to quit naming Spike Lee movies, and he hopes that everything is going to work out.

2:23 am – Tony gets a phone call from the thug that’s hiding and they talk for a while, to argue about how long it’s taking to set off explosives.

2:24 am – In the helicopter, Jack takes off his seat belt, and slides over to Renee. He tries to comfort her. She thinks he’s trying to put the moves on her and says, “Don’t tell me what to feel, or how to feel it”, until she realizes he’s trying to comfort her, and repeats the same phrase.

2:25 am – The helicopter lands. Tony does his best to look innocent, and is surprised to see Jack. Renee wants to see Larry’s body, which appears to be inside a mailbag. Larry looks pretty gruesome, even more so in death.

Tony explains that Larry was a “hero” after getting ambushed. Jack appears suspicious during this explanation, and questions the 45 casings, the weapon switching, and the guilty look on Tony’s face, but they go on anyway.


2:33 am – Kim calls Stephen and tells him that Jack is dying from a deadly biological agent. Stephen says, “Janis?”, but Kim says it’s not that, and it’s fatal. Stephen asks if Jack knows that he’s a grandpa, but Kim tells him he doesn’t know.

2:34 am – Jack notices that “grid 219” hasn’t been cleared. He’s clearly upset about it, so much so he goes for another dose of his medicine. Tony watches him do this, and tells Jack he needs to go back to FBI headquarters before he screws everything up.

Tony’s thug guy tries to call into the FBI folks, telling them he sees the guy with the canister, which is clearly true, since he’s the one with the canister. Jack gets on the radio, and asks if the guy is alone or not. He tells Jack that he’s alone, which is again clearly true. Renee wants to go. Jack’s Spidey Sense is up, and he decides to stay behind.


2:42 am – Impostor Tricia helps see Jonas out. Jonas gets loaded into the truck, and has a question or two about how well the “Starkwood” brand has been received in Pakistan, and is pleased with their marketing efforts there. Not so pleased that he doesn’t take the pill though, and he does. The “painless death” Impostor Tricia promised doesn’t look so painless, and the truck heads off to the hospital with Jonas making funny noises.

2:45 am – Renee arrives at the location where the thug wired the explosives, and continues to talk with him. She gives orders to enter the building so they can all blow up together.

Jack gets a phone call from Agent Mizelli, who wants to be supercalofragilisticexialidous-sure that the name of the guy who gave Tony the information about the White House attack was really “Vincent Cardiff”. While this is going on, Jack notices something weird about the signals from all the radios, and wants to see everyone’s location.

2:47 am – At the abandoned, about to be blown-up building, the agents kick in a lot of doors and generally walk around in the dark. Someone brings up the video, which at first looks like Pacman, except one of the dots is WAY out of the building. Jack realizes it’s a trap – dots would never be that far out of a Pacman grid. He tells them to get out as fast as they can, and as they run out the building blows up. Jack tells everyone to stay put, rather than evacuating, since there’s still a possibility of some good old-fashioned shooting.


2:53 am – The guy who blew everything up tries to blend in with the rest of the agents, just as Tony and Jack arrive. Tony runs into the building to “help”. Jack can’t get in touch with Renee. Tony finds the thug, gets the canister and leaves. The thug decides to do a Hannibal Lector impression and finds the nearest dead body and wipes his face and hands in the guy’s blood, so he’ll look more “blown up” than he does right now.

Jack finds Renee, who’s trying to help a guy that’s not breathing. They get medical guys over there, and they both leave while explaining what happened. Jack realizes something and heads outside.

Meanwhile, Jack phones Mizelli back, and finds out that Vincent Cardiff is still alive, not dead the way Tony said he was. Tony helps the unwounded thug get into an ambulance, which is clearly meant for people that are hurt… These guys are so low. Jack spots Tony and heads after him.

Jack confronts Tony, and asks to talk. This to Jack, means using a gun. Jack’s pretty sure that Tony’s lying, and Tony’s trying to talk his way out of it. This works long enough for Jack to have a seizure, and Tony admits everything. Jack tries to shoot death rays out of his eyes at Tony, but it doesn’t work. Tony leaves.

The thug in the ambulance knifes the guy trying to help him, which as far a places to get knifed go, is pretty lucky for him. The thug hijacks the ambulance.

3:00 am – Time’s up!


One thought on “Season 7 – 24 – 2 am to 3 am”

  1. 24: The Next Generation

    Gimme back my pacifier or I’ll stab you in the thigh with My Little Pony Magic Wand, DAMMIT!

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