Category: Humor

Here’s my latest posting from tonight’s round of Dave Barry 24 blogging
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The following takes place between 4 am and 5 am

4:00am – Haig and Jack talk about the recording, while Creepy attempts to stun them using an evil eye. Chloe and Bill have called congress to start impeachment, and have ordered party favors all around.

4:01 – They find out the chip has been been replaced with a recording of the Creepy singing “The Hokey Pokey

Update, May 9, 2006: A kind quote from Dave Barry at Dave Barry over at his blog:

Thanks to the commenters who cleared this up, and to all the rest of you who made such a valiant effort to analyze the “plot,” especially the amazing Steve. I’m thinking that even after the season ends, we could have Steve continue posting summaries on Monday nights. I’m sure they’d make just as much sense as they do now.

Thanks, Dave!

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I’m one of the folks that participates over on Dave Barry’s blog in a kind of Mystery Science Theater treatment of “24”. Here’s what I posted this week:

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Summary

3 am – Jack broke the co-pilot’s nose. He’s lucky he didn’t get shot in the thigh. He calls Haig and lets her know that he has the recording of Manilow. Bill talks extra loud into the phone.

3:01 – Curtis tells Audrey he has great news… He’s going to save a ton of money on his car insurance, and he that Secretary of Defense Devane used his super defense car to actually survive that 200 foot drop into the water we saw a couple of episodes ago. Aside from being EXTREMELY waterlogged after being in the water for two weeks, he’s OK.

3:02 – Haig calls Curtis and tells him that Jack needs a ride from an airport. Since Curtis is a REALLY good friend, he’ll pick him up….but Jack owes him. Also, Jack has this evidence that can bring down Manilow. Curtis says that if that’s true, Jack won’t owe him anything.

3:03 – The Evil Genius Think Tank (EGTT) has figured out a way out of Manilow’s dilemma and the guy who looks like a hollywood writer calls him. Hollywood says that Manilow needs to shoot down the plane. Manilow protests, saying he doesn’t have a gun nearly big enough, or with enough range. Besides, he can’t shoot straight anyway. Hollywood says they’re going to use a BCI distress signal, which will make it look like the entire plane is full of American Idol fans, so no one will question Manilow’s motives. Manilow protests because he likes American Idol, and then agrees by saying “May Ryan Seacrest have mercy on my soul!

I post over on Dave Barry’s weekly 24 blog, along with a lot of other folks.

Here’s what I posted this week:

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Summary

2:00 am – Bill’s on the phone with Haig, and tells her that Jack’s on an airplane. She’s horrifed that Jack didn’t use his frequent stow away miles. She tells Bill that Chloe needs to contact her after she leaves.

2:01 am – Really slow homeland security guys walk up to Bill’s house. They look behind the TV briefly, move a keyboard, and in all of five seconds, declare that Chloe is not here. They were obviously expecting her to be dressed as a personal computer, like she was last Halloween. One of them notices that Bill’s Commodore 64 has a MAJOR upgrade, and that only Chloe could have done it.

2:04 – Creepy says he’ll make it really bad for Bill if he doesn’t tell him where Chloe is. Bill points out that Chloe was able to walk right out of CTU after pickpocketing Creepy’s id, his cell phone, and his underwear. I think he’s threatening that he’ll talk to Bill even more than he already has… Bill looks a little creeped out by that, but refuses to talk. Haig tells Secret Agent Ed to bring him in. Creepy doesn’t like how Haig is handling things.

2:06 – Chloe walks into a hotel bar with really bad lounge music, figuring that no one would bother her there. She calls Haig and asks for info about the plane.

2:07 – Chloe calls Jack, who’s on the plane, in the cargo hold with some dogs in cages. The cargo hold is quiet now, and he looks relieved that he doesn’t have to put up with any more of that yipping he’s been hearing. From Audrey, not the dogs.

2:08 – Leisure Suit Larry is hitting on women at the bar.

2:09 – Jack, who still hasn’t turned off the ringer his phone, gets a call from Chloe who tells him where the air marshal, Christopher Outt, is sitting on the plane. Jack lifts a floor tile in the back of the plane, and no one is there to see him. Jack wonders for a second what an air marshal would be doing on a diplomatic flight, but then decides to completely ignore this plot point.

2:10 – Jack grabs a seat next to the air marshal, elbows the air marshal in the HEAD, and grabs the air marshal’s peanuts. Jack really, really likes peanuts.

Commercial

2:15 – Jack STILL hasn’t turned off his phone, and gets a phone call from Chloe. She knows where the Guy Who’s Got The Recording (GWGTR) is, and Jack gets that guy to come to the back of the plane. I think this guy’s name is Mr. Unger.

2:16 – Jack closes the curtains in the back galley, which is NOT a good sign for Mr. Unger. Jack asks for Unger’s ticket stub, and then punches it. Unger passes out in a choke hold, and Jack drops him into the baggage compartment right onto a poodle, which makes a whining noise that sounds a lot like Audrey.

2:16 – Mrs. Manilow can’t find her medication. A secret service guy (who I think is a robot, because he has a telephone hookup in his ear), won’t let her.

2:17 – Mrs. Manilow calls Cheney Looking Guy and says she wants to see him. CLG looks hopeful this might be his big chance.
2:18 – Mrs. Manilow REALLY REALLY wants her medication. She starts speaking in riddles to CLG, who looks puzzled, even for this show. She convinces him to get her meds, and he leaves.

2:20 – Graham, one of Manilow’s secret guys that looks like a really uptight writer, calls Manilow to discuss the run-away episode that’s happening. He states the obvious that it would be REALLY REALLY bad if Jack got that recording, because because if Jack got it to Chloe, it would be all over the Internet like a flash, and they’d get no royalties.

2:21 – CLG goes to Manilow telling him that Mrs. Manilow is really upset, CLG presses the point, and Manilow tells him that the reason Mrs. Manilow is upset is that she’s married to a handbag. CLG completely agrees.

2:22 – Back to the cargo hold in the plane, Jack tries to find out what Unger know about Robocop.

2:23 – Leisure Suit Larry starts to bother Chloe, and offers her a drink. She calls the airport.

2:24 – Back on the plane, the stewardess tells everyone there is massive turbulence in the area. In reality, Jack is just kicking Mr. Unger’s butt all over the cargo area. The stewardess notices that someone’s missing and that the air marshal is down.

2:25 – Call to the cockpit, and the steward on the phone tells the pilot, Captain Oveur, that the air marshal has been assaulted. The pilot says “Assaulted what? Peanut?

I take part in the “24” posting madness over on Dave Barry’s Blog. Here’s what I posted tonight:

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Summary

1 am – Jack’s with Audrey and she’s going to have one heck of a dry cleaning bill. Secretary Devane calls his agent’s phone, gets Jack instead and tells Jack to get the recording. Jack says “Duh!

Summary

12:00 am – Manilow’s watching the world’s smallest wide screen TVs, and gets call from Robocop about trying to get Jack. Manilow calls Madam Haig.

12:01 – Madam Haig is talking to Creepy about the Audrey, and that the Cry-Baby tracking device they use to track Audrey is not working.

12:02 – Creepy thinks that Chloe is in on the whole Audrey/Jack connection, volunteers that he’s got special cameras that he uses to spy on women, so it’ll be no problem tracking Chloe.

12:04 – Jack brings in Bill to help him! They fill in Bill on the Manilow being a handbag, and that he’s in on the President Allstate assassination. Bill agrees. Manilow is a handbag.

12:05 – Audrey’s hanging out in Hanger 112 at the airport, which apparently was her secret rendezvous spot with Jack.

12:06 – The plane carrying Secretary of Defense William Devane (undercover as Audrey’s Dad “Secretary Heller

One of the other shows I watch is “24”. Over on Dave Barry’s Blog, a bunch of folks (and Dave!) make “Mystery Science Theater”-like comments about the show. A while ago, when Dave couldn’t watch the show one night, he asked for a summary of the show. Well, I started do that. People seemed to like it, so I continue to do it. The following is what I posted tonight.

Excuse the grammar and spelling mistakes….. I write this in real-time (well, minus TiVo stops here and there) while I’m watching the show, and I post it as soon as I’m done. I hope you enjoy it!

Oh, and if you have NO idea who I’m talking about, here are some of the names we’ve been using on the blog:

Madam Haig – Karen Hayes (new head of CTU)
Robocop – Christopher Henderson
Manilow – President Logan
President Allstate – ex-President David Palmer

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Summary

11pm – The finest roadblock ever is on the street. It has military guys, search lights, and I swear I saw a humvee with a Starbucks installed in the back.

11:00 – Jack is finding out where the money that Manilow is paying Robocop, while Wayne drives to a motel parking lot which is completely empty, except for some guy waving has a yellow piece of paper talking about his “list” and how he has to help them so he can cross them off.

11:01 – Jack calls Audrey to tell her that Manilow is in on the whole thing, and that Jack’s on his way to the bank to get to the safety deposit box. Jack wants Audrey’s father involved. Jack can’t trust anyone but Jack!

11:05 – They get Evelyn into the motel, and Jack checks her thigh because he’s got tons of experience with bullet wounds in the thigh. He wants to clean it, but she doesn’t want him anywhere her leg for fear he’ll shoot that one too.

11:06 – Robocop’s on the phone downloading new instructions from Manilow. They were on the phone with each other just 6 minutes ago! Manilow’s starting to freak out that everyone is freaking out.

11:07 – Madam Haig is talking to Creepy Homeland Guy and she’s having second thoughts about this whole “I’m in charge thing”. Creepy doesn’t like this ONE BIT.

11:08 – Manilow calls Madam Haig to order the arrest of Jack, but in true Manilow style doesn’t want anyone to know who gave the order. Creepy’s all over this and helpfully suggests that the military can use some of those near rocket lauchers, humvee’s, and hand grenades if that would help at all. Haig doesn’t like what’s happening, but Creepy’s all over the whole “let’s catch Jack” thing.

11:09 – Audrey goes to Chloe and shows her the latest Computer catalog to cover the fact they’re talking about Jack. Chloe thinks it’ll take an hour. Audrey wants a secure line so that no one will find out she’s making teary-eyed phone calls to Jack. Chloe says that’ll take about TWO hours.

11:10 – Madam Haig comes down to talk to Audrey, and they don’t like that Jack has an arrest warrant. They know that if he’s arrested, the season’s going to end quick, and they have about 6 more shows to go.

11:12 – Madam Haig is having a Lo-Jack installed on Audrey’s car, so it’ll lead right to Jack.

Commercial

11:17 – Jack’s driving Wayne to the bank manager’s house, and Jack wants to go in and scare the bank manager into letting them into the bank. He pulls out the handy dandy Jack Bauer lock pick set and breaks into the house.

11:18 – Wife and husband upstairs. The wife is wearing NO bullet proof vest on her thighs.

11:19 – Bank manager goes downstairs and Jack clobbers him. The guy tries to talk his way out of it, and finally relents when Jack aims at his wife’s legs.

11:20 – Road block let’s Audrey through, and she’s on the phone with her dad, Secretary Heller. She needs his help, and she wants his plane re-routed to LA.

11:21 – Audrey’s at a gas station, and it using her cell phone while she’s pumping gas. Despite the sparks flying off the cell phone, she’s able to keep the car from exploding. Chloe gave her a special Lo-Jack locator, which Audrey uses to find the Lo-Jack on the car.

11:23 – A curfew immune truck pulls into the gas station, and Audrey plants to Lo-Jack on the truck! There’s NO chance this truck will be pulled over because it’s filled with undocumented visitors.

11:24 – Manilow looks nervous that he hasn’t talked to Robocop in nearly 20 minutes, and Secret Service guy comes to get him. Scary VP asks about Jack, and Manilow tells Secret Service to leave. Scary can’t understand why Bauer isn’t being treated like a hero, and Manilow does the old “because I said so!” ploy on him, and leaves. Scary looks like he suspects that Manilow has been substituted with an alien, because it’s the first time Manilow has talked to him that way.

11:27 – Evelyn’s asleep on the bed, and her daughter’s crying. Evelyn tries to go to her and hits her head on the table. The daughter calls 911, and Robocop instantly gets a phone call from an evil co-hort.

Commercial

11:32 – Press conference. Manilow is telling everyone that the terrorist threat is over, the Russian’s are OK, and Jack has signed a three year contract with Fox.

11:33 – Mrs. Manilow is happy about Manilow saving the day, and Secret Service guy looks like he wants to tell her that Manilow is still acting like a lady’s purse.

11:33 – Jack drives up to parking lot, saying they’ll have to go the rest of the way on foot because it’s more dramatic that way, and they still have half an hour until the top of the hour.

11:33 – Jack gets a call from Secret Service Guy on the Jack Phone, which also tells Jack his blood pressure, his heart rate, and the number of bullets he has left in his gun. Secret Service Guy tells Jack about the warrant.

11:34 – They’re on their way to the bank and the humvee with the Starbucks and the machine gun drives by, so they have to hide.

11:34 – Phone call to Madam Haig. The Homeland Security People Who Follow Audrey (HSPWFA) are now known as the Homeland Security People Who Lost Audrey (HSPWLA).

11:35 – Haig calls Creepy, telling him that she wants satellites redirected to find Audrey. He gives a Creepy Stare to Chloe.

11:35 – Outside the bank. They’ve been able to hide, elude patrols and get to the bank in 2 minutes. And they didn’t even run.

11:35 – Jack goes up to the bank’s doors, which I’m sure have no security cameras anywhere near them, and looks in. He grabs Bank Manager and threatens his wife’s non-bullet proof thighs again.

11:36 – Inside the bank, Bank Manager gives Jack the code, 4 8 15 16 23 42, and Jack goes to enter the code. Bank Manager recognizes Wayne! Bank Manager says that he’s sure he’s seen Wayne on this show named “24” last year. Wayne tells him to trust him, but that Bank Manager would never believe him if he told him the real truth. Bank Manager yells, “AM I ON CANDID CAMERA”, and immediately starts looking for Allen Funt. Wayne tells him that he doesn’t really want to know the truth….that he’s on a show with outrageous (but fun to watch) plot lines, and that they’ve come for proof of who killed President Allstate.

11:38 – Bank Manager asks Jack if it’s all true. Jack says yes, and Bank Manager gets all excited until he realized they didn’t mean he really was Candid Camera, it was that other thing about the President.

11:39 – Evalyn’s with the paramedics, who promptly get shot by Robocop, making them much more Edgar-like and a lot less able to fix bullet wounds.

Commercial

11:43 – Manilow’s on the phone again someone when Mrs. Manilow walks in, and tells him that he’s dealt with more crisis today that any other president, unless you count President Allstate getting shot, which to be fair was a pretty big crisis for him. She calls him magnificent, she kisses him. They kiss far too long, and about half a million viewers had to switch the channels.

11:45 – Phone call, and Manilow asks Mrs. Manilow to leave. She doesn’t like that, so she stays. He takes the call from Robocop. Evelyn told Robocop where Jack is, and Robocop is sending Robothungs there to intercept Jack. Mrs. Manilow asks what the phone call was about, but she doesn’t look like she believes him.

11:46 – Creepy runs upstairs to tell Haig they found Audrey, and man, he’s excited. Haig calls the HSPWLA to intercept Audrey.

11:47 – Crazy Shari finds out that something is wrong with one of the satellites and tells Chloe. Shari can’t get in because it has a massive security grade one override and she’s locked out. She leaves. Chloe presses ONE key on her keyboard and the security is overridden and she sees Audrey’s car.

11:48 – Robothugs at the bank. Robocop says if they see any change, withdraw from the Bank, and deposit the rest of the people with extreme force. One of the Robothugs passes out from the over use of puns in the last sentence.

11:49 – In the vault, they get the recording and they her Manilow and Robocop discussing the whole plot to kill the President, and Bank Manager recognizes Manilow’s voice.

11:50 – Jack spots the Robothugs outside trying to act like he’s just there to use the ATM, but the guns in both hands give him away. They get back away from the door and back into the vault. It’s the only way out….but Jack goes to look for another way!

11:51 – Jack uses the Jackscope to scope the Robothugs outside. Jack tells Bank Manager to trip the bank alarm to get the police there, hoping for a gun fight because there hasn’t been one in over a hour.

Commercial

11:55 – Chloe walks back to one of her servers and logs into the system, and corrupts the signal they’ve been using to watch Audrey. Creepy goes to investigate, and thinks it’s Chloe. They start playing 1960’s secret agent music. (Really!) Creepy gets there, and Chloe is gone.

11:56 – Creepy finds Chloe coming out the bathroom, and asks what she was doing and Chloe promises to write a report.

11:57 – Back at the bank, same secret agent music. The police arrive, and Bank Manager decides to go with Jack Gun fight with the police!

11:58 – Jack leaves the bank, and takes out a few of the people Robothugs. The military show up and take out a few more! Jack escapes in a police car with Wayne and Bank Manager…who dies in the car.

11:59 – Jack calls Audrey, who tells Jack it’ll be next week until they can give the evidence to her father. Jack says that they’ll be taking down Manilow!

12:00 – Times up!

I participate in the weekly blog of the TV show “24” over on Dave Barry’s blog. Here’s my weekly summary; it’s slightly different than what was posted over there. Typepad’s message filtering system didn’t let me post the original. I had to change a few words to get it to post.

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Oh oh, we get local channels on the dish… Apparently the local channels on the dish are on strike (including 24!) because 167 hours of SpongeBob per week, and the local channels feel neglected. Either that, or it was that storm last night.

I called the provider, whose initials are D.I.S.H., and they said that the local channels weren’t on yet because of clouds. Or a bird. Maybe even the wind. I’m still thinking it’s SpongeBob. I’m gonna have to watch this over-the-air without TiVo.

Anyway. this is my really long-winded way of saying that I’m going to be summarizing without a net tonight, so if this is a bit inaccurate, if I miss a few people that get shot, or if it’s got really really lame jokes, then everything is normal.

10pm – CTU. Everyone’s panicking. Without Jack, there’s no CTU, and worse, no season next year.

10:01 – Jack’s OK! That was the scariest minute of their lives. Jack is carrying IEST. Audrey looks like she’s going to cry.

10:02 – Interrogation of IEST begins, which involves Jack yelling really really loudly, because that always works. They’re taking IEST to the top place to treat the injuried….CTU.

10:03 – Jack wants to know where Robocop went, and Bill doesn’t know. Jack thinks Robocop is working on a bigger subplot.

10:04 – Scary’s on the phone with Madam Haig, and wants her to jump through hoops. He realizes it’s Haig…he thought he dialed 1-800-HOT-HOOP

10:05 – Creepy Home Security Guy thinks he can work his Creepy magic on Audrey to turn her against CTU. Probably the same magic he worked on Shari.

10:06 – Robocop has henchmen too!

10:07 – Secret Service guy got Wayne back to retreat, and he wants to know what’s going on too. Evelyn (Mrs. Manilow’s assistant) was giving out information that got President All-State killed!

10:08 – Mrs. Manilow wants to chit-chat while Evelyn just wants to get the heck out of there.

10:09 – Wayne catches up with her, and confronts her about the e-mail. He tells her that unless she lets him know what was in those e-mails, he’ll tell everyone she’s the biggest spammer on the East coast, which is sure to get her in BIG trouble.

10:09 – Yikes! They kidnapped Evelyn’s little girl!

10:11 – She’ll give up the evidence if Wayne can get her daughter back. Someone better tell Jack. He’s good at this sort of thing.

Commercial.

10:16 – Insane Shari and Chloe see the Homeland Security people walking in, as if they were those girls from Deal or No Deal. Without the money. Or Howie.

10:17 – They’re taking over CTU! Madam Haig invoked with Backslash Protocol! Which is much worse than the Frontslash Protocol.

10:18 – Creepy Home Security guy invites Audrey into another room.

10:19 – Jack’s on the phone with Wayne. Wayne gives him the story…..and tells Jack! Woo hoo! That kid is as good as saved.

10:20 – They go to leave, but decide to separate…after all, the bad guys wouldn’t suspect that the woman they’re black mailing and the guy they were just trying to kill would be talking to each other….noooooo.

10:21 – Creepy is talking to Audrey, and he wants her to sign something that blames CTU for everything that happened. Creepy tries to tell Audrey that her career is on the line, if she doesn’t sign that thing. She goes to sign it….and NO…Creepy is denied.

10:22 – Jack calls Audrey, and Jack gives her Wayne’s story. Audrey tells him about the CTU take over. Audrey reminds him that Madam Haig is “in charge here”. Jack thinks Creepy and his padwans are in on the plot. He wants Audrey to get Chloe back on.

10:23 – Whoa! Audrey goes to Madam Haig to sign the papers! That’s how she’ll get Chloe back. Creepy doesn’t want to go along with it, but Haig goes for it. Foolish Mortals. They know nothing of Chloe and her leet haxor skillz.

10:24 – Robocop tells his henchmen that Evalyn will be leaving the presidential retreat soon, and that he’ll take care of the little girl.

Commercial

10:29 – Evalyn’s at her car. Secret Service guy and Wayne get caught by the Emperor..er, I mean Scary VP. They make up a story about picking something up at the retreat, and Scary tries to use his mind powers to find out why he’s there. Doesn’t look like Scary bought the story.

10:33 – Bill tells Chloe that everything will be OK. Creepy tells Bill and Chloe about the paper, and Audrey tells Bill that she agreed with what she signed. Bill looks at her like he just found out that he could have been paying less for his car insurance.

10:34 – Wayne and Evelyn are driving on the road. She probably wouldn’t be in the car if she knew about Wayne’s LAST ride in a car. She’s upset about President All-State still. She gets a phone call from Robocop, and Jack’s on the line listening.

10:35 – Robocop knew that Wayne was there, but lets Amy (the daughter) talk to Evelyn. He wants her to go to 40615 Tarpen Street, stop at the local McDonald’s for a Happy Meal, a big Mac, and one of those yummy cherry pies….and to bring some information.

10:37 – Jack calls Audrey with the address. Audrey and Bill exchange looks, and Bill looks like he found out that he won’t be back next season and is almost in tears. This Audrey crying thing must be catching. Audrey goes to talk to Chloe who doesn’t EVEN look in the mood to talk. Audrey tells Chloe why she signed the paper (to get Chloe back near a CTU computer).

Commercial

10:41 – Creepy farm house exterior, with Wayne and Evelyn inside. Someone drives up….good thing they thought to hide in a barn in the middle of no where. They hide behind a board, because boards in barns are bullet proof. It’s just Jack…who enters from the back of the barn. Wayne looks like he feels silly for forgetting the old “Sneaking in the back entrance of the barn” trick.

10:43 – Jack makes a phone call on that “never looses a signal” phone, and calls Chloe. Chloe uploads real-time information to Jack’s super PDA.

10:44 – Wayne wants to go with Jack, and WAYNE looks like he’s going to cry when Jack says no. Audrey’s disease strikes again, so Jack changes his mind since Audrey has that effect on him.

10:45 – Scary VP sneaks up on President Manilow, who’s self congratulating himself about the day. Scary finds out that Evelyn and President All-State where buddies… oh oh… not good info to tell Emperor Scary.

10:46 – Jack tell’s Evelyn to be careful and she drives off for that McDonald’s happy meal.

10:47 – Chloe uploads MORE information to Jack’s super PDA (this thing must have 50gig on it), and pinpoints a bad guy for Jack to shoot. He looks happy, but disappointed that he’ll have to wait to do that until after the commercial.

Commercial

10:52 – Abandoned factory….Robocop is there with his henchmen. Wayne and Jack find someone to shoot, and Jack does so.

10:53 – Jack outsources one of his henchmen kills to Wayne, and Jack looks disappointed.

10:54 – Chloe’s on the phone with Wayne. Wayne shoots the guy he’s supposed to, but doesn’t look like he wanted to….

10:55 – Jack’s sneaks up on one of the henchmen and kills him. Jack screws around with the walkie-talkie they were using, and disguises his voice so he can talk to Robocop. He picks up the gun with the scope and aims it at Evelyn’s car that just pulled up.

10:56 – Robocop gives Evelyn instructions and heads out to meet Evelyn at the car. Evelyn ducks, and Jack starts shooting. Wayne and Jack shoot everyone else including Evelyn, but miss Robocop, who gets away.

10:59 – Evelyn tells Jack that it WASN’T Scary that was behind this whole plot. It was MANILOW!

11:00 – Time’s up!

If you like Dave Barry and the show “24”, you should head on over to his blog on the nights they show new episodes. On the nights Dave is home, he posts updates while watching the show, and people make comments while watching the show live.

A couple of weeks ago, Dave asked if folks could write summaries of the show, and I started posting some of my own. A few people over there liked ’em, so I thought that this week I’d post my entry here:

Super quick summary:

3:00-4:00 – Jack gets a phone call from The Guy Previously Known as the Guy in the Dark Room, through Audrey at CTU. Jack gets into a gun fight on the roof of a building, no one calls the police over the machine gun fire, or the helicopter that’s flying around with black smoke after someone shoots at it. After all, this is LA, and this happens every day here.

Audrey works with Chloe to get information from the chip Jack gets from The Guy Previously Known As The Guy in the Dark Room. The Hobbit goes CRAZY looking for the One Ring, and SWEARS that Chloe and Audrey are keeping the information from him. He goes so crazy, he locks up Bilbo…er….Bill, when he thinks Bill, Chloe, and Audrey are working against him. He looks threatheningly at Edgar, who was eating a ho-ho.

In the meantime, the terrorists get a hold of the President, because it’s SUPER easy to get ahold of the president, (well, at least President Manilow), and ask him if they can pretty please have the motorcade route the Russian President is taking back to the airport. Mrs. Manilow hears this and completely freaks out. She’s never been in a motorcade. She jumps into the limo at the end of the episode. As she drives away, it occurs to her she heard something about terrorists and a motorcade.

Body counts:
A number of people get shot, a living room in a video game commercial gets shot, Stylish gets knifed by yet ANOTHER terrorist (they must pay these actors per episode), who’s apparently the REAL bad guy, at least until next week. Jack shoots at least two people, and brings down a black helicopter by shooting at it.

Dave, in answer to your question about what “the twist we wouldn’t believe”…. I think it’s that Jack actually got to shoot at people this episode.

Be sure and check out this week’s “24” action on Dave Barry’s Blog.