24 – Season 7 – 11 am to 12 noon

Previously on 24 happened 5 minutes ago

11:00 am – Janis immediately tells Walker that Tony and Jack got into a black panel van, which is interesting because they really got into a bright blue van. Sean tells Walker someone is still jamming cameras.

Agent Larry and Agent Walker talk, and they’re both pretty upset that Jack is a much, much better Agent than they are. A phone call comes for Larry, from the White House. Walker swears she’ll get Jack.

Janis brings up a profile on Tanner – he’s a Gulf vet, tried to sue the government, his momma can’t dance, and his daddy don’t rock and roll. Walker says she wants to talk to him when he wakes up.

11:01 – Larry’s phone call with the White House doesn’t go very well when he tells them that Tony and Jack are working together. Ethan tells Larry that he “royally screwed up”, and that he knows, because he’s made some pretty bad decisions himself. They tell him that getting Jack and Tony is his only priority.

Ethan says, “Bottom line, the Bureau is not going to be an answer to our prayers.” Allison says, “Yes, but a nice Futon might be. How much time does this leave us?” Ethan tells her a little less than two episodes, so they better get around to picking furniture right away. They rehash the plot line they talked about just a few minutes ago, and walk around, speaking in very concerned voices.

11:06 – For a bunch of guys on the run, Bill, Tony and Jack sure do take their own sweet time walking up the set of stairs in their own secret hideout – but that’s what they’re doing.

Jack asks Bill, “What do you call this place?” Bill says, “CTU, with light and wood paneling”. Chloe appears and says, “Hey.” Jack says, “Hey”.

Jack asks the burning question, “Tony, why the heck aren’t you dead?” Tony tells him that he was dead for 10 minutes, but Dr. Horrible brought him back to life by singing a song Joss Whedon wrote, and via a hypo needle that Emerson supplied. Rather than using this miracle drug to make millions, Emerson decided to recruit a bunch of ex-operatives to hire out to clients.

Tony says he really was working for Emerson, at was a very naughty boy. The last straw was the module, and that Dubaku was planning on killing innocent Americans. Tony couldn’t go to the authorities because the plot line for this season would be a lot shorter, and wouldn’t have involved Jack at all. Besides, there were agents within the government that Dubaku was paying off, so it wouldn’t have worked anyway.

Tony says he needs to get back undercover right away. Jack points out that everybody is going to know that Tony escaped, and might have made a deal with Monty Hall, and possibly the US attorney. Jack realizes he might be able to help, and asks how many people are involved in this very complex operation. Bill says counting himself, Tony and Chloe – Three. He says, “Three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.” Chloe says, “Skip a bit, Bill”. Bill starts to continue, but Jack interrupts to ask if they have proof. Bill says, they do, but only at the lowest level, and that they need more quarters to make it to a higher level. Jack says he’ll help, but only because they’re the only people he can trust right now.

11:10 – A thug meets with Emerson to tell him that he has a couple of fresh thugs to replenish the supply, since the last thugs were shot. Emerson is surprised to receive a phone call from Tony, who says that everything is fine because Jack is on-board with the plan, is ready to synergize the strategy, and is generally a hoopy frood who knows where his towel is. Emerson tells Tony to bring Jack with him when he comes back.


11:16 – Henry writes a note, puts it in his pocket, and tells Agent Named-By-Dr-Seuss that he needs to go see Samantha. The Agent agrees to get a car so they can go. President Allison tells Henry that she has to meet with the Prime Minister, but she isn’t sure what to do. Henry says that she’ll do the right thing, and she asks him not to quote movie titles.

11:19 – Sean tells Walker that they have 17 units in the field. Walker wants Sean to widen a perimeter, which isn’t a euphemism, so he does. They want to find Jack.

Sean’s wife calls Sean from a plane, directly into the middle of the top secret FBI analyst room, using an airline phone that can’t possibly be hacked. Sean admits that there’s a problem with the planes up in the air right now, and that she shouldn’t worry. Surprisingly, she’s not at all worried by this news, but is in fact relieved, indicating she must have some kind of “I react completely the opposite of the way most people would react” syndrome. She promises to call Sean as soon as possible.

Turns out that Janis isn’t the only nosey person in the analyst room: Erika asks Sean about his wife’s plane. Sean seems really irritated by the fact this this plot line seems a lot more like Die Hard 2 as time goes on.

Janis runs over to Walker to let her know that The Sniper is now awake, and ready to not answer any questions. Walker promotes Janis to Field Agent Janis, and they leave to go talk to Tanner (The Sniper).

11:21 – Jack asks Tony about Emerson. Tony says, he’s British, former SAS, urban warfare, sniping, close quarter combat, and a really good dancer. Tony tells Jack that Emerson treated him like a brother when nobody else would. Jack says, “What, do you mean like… noogies? Is this going to be a problem?” Tony assures Jack that he’ll do what has to be done.

11;22 – They pull up to a building on yet another completely deserted DC street. Tony rings the doorbell, and says, “Candygram”. A thug answers, and lets them in. Emerson tells Thug One and Thug Two to take Jack downstairs, because he needs to talk to Tony alone. They do. Emerson tells Tony that Jack isn’t worth the risk.

11:23 – Jack has a seat downstairs, while Emerson and Tony talk things over. Emerson gets all Hollywood on Tony saying, “I’m going a different way.” Tony pleads Jack’s case, but Emerson won’t listen. He decides it would be better to get rid of Jack, and that Tony should be the one to do it.

11:24 – This doesn’t sit well with Chloe AT ALL. She and Bill have been listening in on one of Chloe’s listening devices, which she has access to, even after CTU disbanded. I can only guess she grabbed a handful on her way out of the building, or bought them at a CTU garage sale. Bill says that if Jack dies, Tony’s position will be complete, which sounds a little too “Emperor Palpatine” for Chloe. Chloe says that Bill must have known this was going to happen, and Bill admits he read ahead in the script, but Jack knew it too.

11:25 – Jack realizes what’s about to happen, so he decides to change things up and beats the hell out of both Thug One and Thug Two before they know what’s happening.

Emerson comes downstairs. Jack tells him that he’s much better than both Thug One and Thug Two put together, so Emerson should hire him instead. Emerson throws all logic out the window, and agrees. Even Thug Two thinks he’s crazy, and tells Emerson he’s going to leave if he doesn’t kill Jack. Emerson walks over to Jack, points his gun, turns and kills Thug Two with one shot. Emerson shoots him a couple of times more, because he remembered that even though Tony was dead, he came back, so he’s going to make EXTRA sure Thug Two won’t come back.


11:30 – Sean calls an air traffic controller, impersonates Agent Larry, GIVES HIS LEVEL 5 SECURITY CODE CORRECTLY, and has his wife’s plane re-routed. I’m guessing that Sean might have packed his wife’s bags this morning, and things aren’t going to end well.

11:31 – Dubaku has sent another message to the White House, which President Allison and the Prime Minister listen too. She rehashes her dilemma AGAIN, just to be sure that everyone watching fully understands. The Prime Minister throws in an extra problem: Juma’s about to attack a refugee camp. The PM pleads with her not to abandon his country, and leaves.

She turns to tell Ethan that she’s not happy with not knowing the slight “detail” about the refugee camp, and that if he knows anything else, like who the fifth cylon is, who’s going to win American Idol, or what the heck is going on Lost, she wants to know right now. Ethan wants her to back down, but she’s not so sure. She tells Ethan to check with the FBI about Tony and Jack.

11:35 – Emerson tells Jack, “No hard feelings”. Jack’s changed clothes, and is now wearing black like all the bad guys. They go into a big long dialog, about why Jack came back. Jack says things like, “I wanted to know what it felt like to walk into a propeller” and “I wanted to start a dialog”. The conversation was confusing enough that Emerson buys the whole thing. It also sets him off guard enough that he forgets to speak in his British accent. Emerson gets a phone call, and takes it.

11:39 – Tony walks over to Jack to ask what’s going on, and plants some kind of security bug near Jack, presumably Chloe and Bill can listen in. He tells Jack to watch himself around Emerson, but not in that way. Emerson isn’t to be trusted.

Emerson gets off the phone call, and says they have to get a package to a client. It turns out the “package” is the Prime Minister.

Chloe hears this and realizes they’re going to torture and probably kill the Prime Minister, possibly not even that order, and she’s upset. She wants to call someone. Bill says if they do that now, the show will end early, and they’ll never find out about the greater conspiracy. Chloe reluctantly goes along.


11:43 – Henry and his Secret Service Agent arrive at a park in yet another completely deserted street. Henry convinces the agent to leave, and goes off to talk to Samantha.

11:44 – Samantha meets with Henry and says that Roger’s death wasn’t an accident. Roger found out about some illegal trading going on, which even by the SEC’s recent standards couldn’t be ignored. Roger found out about a lot of offshore accounts that were trading with Sangala, which is weird since as we all know, it’s a fictional country. The evidence lead to a senior member of President Allison’s staff, but Samantha doesn’t know who it is. She gives Henry some evidence, and asks to be left out of it. We see that Henry’s Secret Service Agent was watching them from the bridge, probably taking video that’ll be posted to YouTube later.

11:48 – Walker and Janis arrive at the hospital, and tell the agent there to watch out for Tanner’s lawyers. Walker and Janis enter the room, and she starts questioning him. He must have been following tonight’s “action”, because he’s nearly asleep while he answers questions. He finally tells Walker to go away, she grabs him in the face and makes him do a fish imitation, but that doesn’t convince him to wake up or talk. The agent calls, and says the lawyers are on the way.

Walker and Janis leave the room. Walker tells Janis to stall the lawyers. Janis is pretty upset that Walker isn’t following federal guidelines, but finally goes along.

11:49 – Walker goes back in to talk to Tanner. Janis distracts the lawyers by saying she’s pretty sure she has reasonable grounds for a personal injury case, which gets them very excited.

In the hospital room, Tanner won’t talk to Walker so she pulls a gun on him and presses it into his gut. He doesn’t talk, and she starts to leave. He laughs, which causes her to turn around and cut off his air supply. He starts to choke just as they go to commercial.


11:55 – Janis keeps moving the lawyers around, who finally stop to ask a nurse. She looks him up and realizes there’s been a ventilator malfunction. The lawyers AND Janis quickly write down the name of the hospital on their hands, with the note: “In case of emergency, do NOT take me here”. The nurse runs to the room, which is jammed. Walker finally leaves the room, calls Agent Larry and lets him know about the plot to kidnap the Prime Minister. Larry tells her not to go alone, so she gets in the car to go alone.

11:57 – At the Sangalan embassy, a Sangalan agent who looks exactly like Eko’s brother Yemi from LOST, gets a phone call with a very similar ringtone to American ringtones. Agent Larry tells him that the Prime Minister is in danger. The agent hangs up and starts telling all the other agents that an interesting plot twist might just happen in a few minutes. They don’t even have to wait that long, because Emerson and crew blow up a glass window they were able to hide behind without anyone noticing. They run in and start shooting people.

11:58 – The agent gets the Prime Minister and his wife to a safe room, and they lock themselves inside, with the agent outside. The door looks secure, so Jack goes into a room right next to it and uses a golf club to tear a whole in the wall to get to the prime minster.

11:59 – The Prime Minister tries to make a phone call, but can’t. Jack realizes that he’s going to need a bigger golf club, because the one he has won’t go through the reinforced concrete.

12:00 noon – Time’s up!


4 thoughts on “24 – Season 7 – 11 am to 12 noon”

  1. Awesome, as usual! Very pleased to see the Jack Sack make a comeback, but it also sparked a minor debate at home. Mom thinks Jack had a thigh-shooting outfit in the Sack (the preferred fashion accessory of the counter-terrorist). I think it’s more about respect. If you are going to join a gang — especially one run by Methos from Highlander — you really should start off right by wearing their colors. What do you think?

  2. First of all, this was an exceptionally funny take on the episode- you had me laughing throughout.

    As for The Jack Sack, as the resident expert on counter-terror manpurses, I can say that what Jack was toting around was not the manbag we all know and love. It was a leather uptown version that we’re calling The Kiefcase. That being said, the preview to next week’s episode leads me to believe that Jack and the bad guys are wearing Black Sacks, which are an officially-endorsed variation of the traditional olive-drab Jack Sack (v. 1.0). Long story short- there will be Sacks!

  3. Wait, I thought the Kiefcase was the briefcase Jack had while facing off with Red Foreman?

  4. Hey why everyone forget about me?

    Its hard driving these days with only one hand so i take the train a lot.

    But i could go online alot and i love your Blog!

    So damn funny, i nearly cried from laughing.

    wiping the tears with one hand was almost as hard as pleasing myself thinking of Kim

    Keep up the good work

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