Category: Humor

24 – Two Days Later – 8 pm to 9 pm

24 – Two Days Later – Hour 2

The following takes place between 8 pm and 9 pm

8:00 pm – Jack tells Cindy, “Honey, I need to know what happened to the archway at the end of the hall.”

Cindy gives him a funny look and says, “What’s an archway?” Meanwhile, Morris and Bill are banging on the wall, trying to figure out how an archway they just walked through could have been replaced with a wall so quickly. Cindy repeats her wish to go see her parents. Chloe tells Jack that they need to go outside anyway, because her cell phone isn’t getting any reception, as she puts the remote control she was holding away in her purse. Jack says that as soon as they figure out how to get out of the warehouse, it should be OK. Chloe gives him a dirty look and tells him that she knows how it works, since she wrote a lot of software to do that before coming to CTU.

8:03 pm – Cindy leads them out of the room, and to a wide staircase leading down to a living room. Morris comments, “I’ve heard of people building retro apartments inside of warehouses before, but this is amazing! Very authentic.” They all go down into the living room.

Jack tells Cindy that they want to leave the warehouse, not go downstairs into the basement. Cindy gives him a funny look. She points to a door and tells them they can leave that way, or they can leave through the family room, which is beyond the kitchen.

8:05 pm – Jack tells Bill, Morris and Chloe that they have to follow Cheng to see if they can figure out where he went. A man and two women, followed by five other children, come into the living room from the kitchen. They’re all dressed in 70’s style clothing. The man says, “Cindy! Are you OK? What’s going on here? Who are all these people?”

Cindy says, “Daddy, these people are with the police! They say they’re following bad guys!”

The father says, “Wait a minute. The FBI was already here for my clearance, and we cleared up that whole mix up with Sam. What’s this about?”

Jack says, “We’re not with the FBI. We’re with CTU.”

The father replies, “Oh! Well! Then that sounds like a completely reasonable explanation!” He turns to one of the women, who is dressed like a housekeeper, and says, “Alice, can you go check the house to see if everything is OK? If you see a burglar, make sure and yell!” The family all laughs as if that’s some sort of joke.

The father says, “I’m sure we would have heard something if there had been anyone in the house. Why don’t you come out back for a quick bite to eat before you go?”

8:08 pm – Chloe, Morris, Bill and Jack are all lead through the kitchen and family room into a backyard. They all look back and realize that they’ve walked out of a house, and not the warehouse they had run into. They see that they’re in a residential neighborhood.

The father says, “Where are my manners? I’m Mike Brady, this is my wife Carol. These are our kids, Greg, Marcia, Jan, Peter, Bobby, and you’ve met Cindy.” He points in the direction of the woman that just left, “That was Alice”.

8:10 pm – Everyone grabs something to eat while Chloe, Morris, Bill and Jack try to get a connection on their cell phones, but they are having trouble. Jan and Peter are near a doghouse, arguing.

Jan says, “Look, I’m telling you, something weird is going on! Before Mom and Dad got married, we had pets! We had a cat named ‘Fluffy’, and you had a dog, named ‘Tiger’! Why would we have a dog house if we didn’t have a dog?”

Peter doesn’t believe her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Jan!”, Peter says.

8:10 pm – Greg walks up to Chloe and says, “You know, you’re one groovy lady. How’d you like a ride in my new convertible?” Chloe gives him a disgusted look and says, “I’m old enough to be your mo… older sister.”

8:11 pm – Morris walks over to Carol to ask whether she has ever had problems with cell phone reception. Carol tells him that since telephones are property of the telephone company, they would never try and sell them.

Commercial

8:17 pm – Bill takes a look at what looks like a vintage convertible in the driveway, and Greg tells him his pal Eddie sold it to him. There’s a scream from inside the house, “Buuuuuuuurglers!”

Jack pulls out his gun, and Carol asks, “Now, kids, I want you to look at that. Jack has a gun, but that’s only because it’s part of his job. Jack, Is that really necessary?” Jack ignores this and enters the house.

8:18 pm – Jack walks through the family room, through the kitchen and to the living room, but doesn’t see anything. Mike casually walks behind Jack. Jack nearly shoots him when Mike nearly trips and knocks over a vase. The front door is open. Jack runs to it, and doesn’t see anyone.

8:20 pm – Mike realizes that his office door is open, and calls Jack over. They enter Mike’s office, and it’s been ransacked. The rest of the family enters, followed by Bill, Chloe and Morris. Mike says, “Well, it looks like we’ll have to do some cleaning in here!” The family laughs, but it’s not clear why.

8:21 pm – Mike says, “Why would anyone do this to an architect?” Jack asks Mike what he has been working on lately that might have caused someone to do this. Mike thinks for a moment, and says, “Well, I’ve been looking at designing a city park, a library, and an office building…. Oh, and then there’s the nuclear power plant… Nothing out of the ordinary.”

8:22 pm – The rest of the family enters Mike’s office as Bill asks, “What are you doing designing a nuclear power plant, and why would anyone want to steal the plans for a nuclear power plant? Wouldn’t they be able to find something like that on the Internet?”

Mike tells Bill, “Oh, the design I had was very solid construction. No nets of any kind. It’s strictly concrete”. Bill gives Mike a strange look and says, “No, I meant ‘The Internet’… You know, ‘The Web’”?

Mike tells Bill, “Well, Alice takes care of all the webs around the house. Where is Alice anyway?”

Chloe blurts out, “Are you people stupid? Someone attacked her! They must have been surprised when she came into the office, checking to be sure that everything was OK! Aren’t you the least bit concerned?

Mike responds, “Oh, I don’t know. Alice is a pretty tough cookie. Besides, no matter what happens around here, it always works out in the end!” The whole family laughs again, and Morris leans over to Chloe to whisper that their constant laughing is starting to be a little creepy.

8:25 pm – Jack asks Mike to see the copy of the nuclear power plant plans, but they seem to be missing. Jan says, “Maybe Tiger took them.”

Everyone turns to Jan. Carol says, “Jan, honey, we’ve been over this before. There is no ‘Tiger’”. Jan clenches her teeth in frustration and storms out of the room.

8:26 pm – Chloe tells Jack that she even tried to get a Wi-Fi connection on her handheld, but can’t find any networks to connect to. Jack asks Mike if he can use the telephone. The phone has a rotary dial.

8:27 pm – Jack dials the CTU phone number and several others, but gets a recording that says, “The number you have dialed is not in service.”

Commercial

8:33 pm – Jack asks Mike if he has a car, and Mike brings him outside to show him the family station wagon. Jack asks, “Wow! I haven’t seen one of these in years! My father used to… Well, never mind that.”

Mike says, “What are you talking about? I just bought this new last week!”

8:34 pm – Carol comes outside to tell Mike that they’ve received a phone call. Carol tells them that a man with a weird accent said that Mike was supposed to bring his black notebook with him to the city’s civic center auditorium, and if he didn’t, Alice would be in trouble.

8:36 pm – Jack, Carol and Mike are in the front seat of the station wagon, while Chloe, Bill and Morris are in the back. Mike gives directions to the civic center. Mike asks, “Why would they want this old black notebook?” Jack says he has no idea, but it’s the only way to get Alice back and to track down the people he’s been chasing.

8:37 pm – As they stop at a light, Morris comments that there must be some sort of car show happening on this side of town, since all he’s seen on the road are vintage cars. Jack mumbles that this whole “stop at a light” thing is kind of freaking him out.

Commercial

8:42 pm – They arrive at the auditorium, which has a sign in front saying “Concert tomorrow night!” A car has been driven all the way up the front steps and is parked right next to the front door. Mike recognizes it as a car belonging to a next door neighbor. There’s also a large multi-colored school bus parked in front of the school. Jack stops the car and they all get out, and head for the front door.

8:43 pm – “What about us?” The adults turn around to see all of the kids piling out of the back of the station wagon. Mike and Carol look upset…but not all that upset. Jack tells Mike and Carol that they should keep the children outside, because it’s much too dangerous. Mike insists on going along, to make sure that Alice is OK. The kids start to whine as Jack enters the building with Mike and Bill. Jack tells Chloe and Morris to get the cell phones working while they try and track down Cheng.

8:44 pm – As they enter the lobby of the building, music can be heard from the auditorium where a band is practicing. Mike says that he thinks he recognizes that song, and goes straight for the doors. He swings the doors open, points at the band and yells, “Partridge! I should have known!”

8:45 pm – Jack reminds Bill to never take anyone along who hasn’t been trained in the whole concept of “surprise”, as they race to catch up with Mike. Mike is yelling at the top of his lungs at a woman on stage with her children, “I should have known you were behind this!” He makes his way down to the stage as Jack and Bill follow.

The woman says, “Look, Brady, we got this gig fair and square. I’m sorry if you’re having problems getting your children on stage to sing.”

Mike says, “You know that’s not what I mean! Where’s Alice, Shirley?”

Shirley says, “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

There’s a gunshot from the balcony area. A man yells, “ENOUGH!”

8:46 pm – Everyone looks up, and there are several men with machine guns in the balcony area. Shirley yells, “Keith, Laurie! Get Chris and Tracey out of here!” They run for the exit in the back of the auditorium. One of the men is holding Alice. He yells for Mike to throw him the black notebook.

Jack yells, “What assurance do we have that you won’t hurt Alice?” Mike throws the black notebook up to the man, who catches it and yells, “You don’t have any!” and pushes Alice off the balcony.

8:48 pm – Just as she goes tumbling over the side, Alice catches herself on the balcony railing. The men in the balcony run for the balcony exit. Jack is able to shoot one, but the rest escape. Alice screams while this is all going on, trying to drag herself back onto the balcony. Jack goes running for a side door labeled, “Balcony”.

Bill goes rushing over and tells Alice he’ll catch her. Alice drops, and Bill doesn’t so much catch Alice, as provide a nice landing target. She falls right on top of Bill, who is flattened to the ground. Mike and Shirley help Bill up.

8:49 pm – Jack runs to the upstairs corridor, but doesn’t see anyone in any of the balcony compartments. He reaches the balcony where Alice was hanging, and sees her on the ground with Bill. He yells for Bill to go back out to the front of the building and set up a perimeter.

Commercial

8:53 pm – Jack arrives in the front of the building, with Bill, Alice, Mike and Shirley right behind. Greg is talking to Laurie, and Keith is talking to Marcia. Both Mike and Shirley separate their respective children. Chloe comments about how there are much too many people here right now.

8:54 pm – Shirley is furious. “Of all the petty stunts I’ve seen pulled, this is the lowest. First you try and establish your children as a singing act, and when they weren’t as successful as you hoped, you come to sabotage our rehearsal!” Jack tries to explain to her what happened, but she won’t listen.

8:55 pm – Chloe calls Jack over, and Bill and Morris gather around too. She tells him, “Jack, I’ve been talking to Mrs. Brady. You’re not going to like this. We’re in 1974.”

Jack says, “What do you mean, ‘1974’? You mean the year 1974? That’s ridiculous!”

Chloe continues, “I know it’s ridiculous…. But is it as ridiculous as stopping a second atomic bomb explosion and then getting back your comatose girlfriend from a Chinese prison camp, while trying to destroy a Russian computer chip?”

Jack says, “You have a point…”

8:57 pm – Jack continues, “Well, what are we going to do about it? Find another archway to walk through and hope we make it back to our own time period?”

Chloe says, “I’ll think of something”.

8:58 pm – Several police cars drive up, and the officers get out, asking what the commotion is all about. There’s loud crack and a flash of light behind the crowd. They look to where Chloe, Morris, Bill and Jack were standing before…. And they’re gone.

8:59 pm – Chloe, Morris, Bill and Jack are now standing in the middle of a jungle. Jack says, “Um, this isn’t exactly what I meant.”

9:00 pm – Time’s up!

Any resemblence to “Bad Day” is purely…

Annie over on Dave Barry’s blog suggested “24 – The Musical”…

Apologies to …. well, everyone… for the following:

(Special apologies to Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day”)

This was the moment we needed you most
You hit the streets and the terrorists lost
Tony and Michelle, they passed away,
Even poor Edgar – he turned gray,
And everything seemed to be going wrong….

You’d stand in line just to hit Gredenko,
No bathroom in sight; when do you go?
One of the worst days in your life,
You’re shooting the thighs of everyone’s wife,
Jumping on planes with one carry on….

Cause you had a bad day,
You’re takin’ em down,
The streets are empty when you’re driving in town,
And Chloe will know,
You know she won’t lie,
But Curtis can’t drive when you go for a ride,
You had a bad day
Audrey might have died,
You could talk to Nadia,
But she’s got Milo on her mind,
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a CTU holiday,
The point is we’re happy you saved the day
And we don’t mean to carry on…

You had a bad day
You took ’em all down,
You called on your phone, and the bill weighs a pound,
You brought the drone in low,
Dropped it out of the sky,
You saved The Bay when you shot the bad guy,
You had a bad day,
Fayed will lie
But he’s really creepy and not a nice guy,
You had a bad day,

Sometimes the computers go on the blink and the plans just turn out wrong
But you know Chloe can get them back and beam right to your phone,
And we’re not wrong

We know you’ll be there when we need you the most
Even Edgar believes that, and he’s just a ghost

‘Cause you had a bad day,
You’re taking ‘em down,
Lennox says he doesn’t know,
Karen says that’s a lie,
They say you’re all done,
We hope that’s a lie,
You helped us a lot, and you’re our kinda guy,
You had a bad day,
We’ll call you again
And ask you to help one more time,
You had a bad day
But you saved the day

Summary of “24”: Episode 15 – 8 pm to 9 pm

Previously on “24”, we learned that: AUDREY IS DEAD! Well, she might be dead. Right now Jack thinks she’s dead, but it probably just means she faked her own death to get back at Jack for faking HIS death last season. It would just be like Audrey to get the nation’s hopes up like that, and turn around and show up just to torment us later.
In addition to that news, we also learned that Jack thought it would be Big Trouble if he blew up a nuclear weapon in San Francisco Bay, so he crash landed it instead. Oh, and Noah is a crazy person.

The following summary occurred between 8 pm and 9 pm:

8:00 pm – Jack tells the emergency crew working on the remote control drone pilot to be sure that he stays alive. Mike tells Jack about the teensy tiny problem of nuclear fallout, warns him not to step in anything that’s glowing, and runs off to see about the computers that were shot. One of the EMT guys tells Jack that the drone pilot was exposed to large amounts of PowerPoint slides on the computer he was using, and before he died he wanted to thank Jack for shooting him to end that misery. Jack calls Bill, and Bill tells him about Noah’s big plans to drop a nuclear weapon within the hour. They both decide it would be a good idea to find Gredenko before then.

8:02 pm – Gredenko works on his “Can You Hear Me Now” impression using his phone, but doesn’t have a phone plan that reaches the underworld, so he can’t reach the remote control drone pilot. Fayed is really upset that San Francisco is still San Francisco, and not the Nuclear Wasteland Formerly Know As San Francisco.

8:05 pm – Gredenko calls Mark, the guy he got the security codes from. Gredenko says that the last security codes just made all the garage doors in the neighborhood go up at the same time, and what he really needed was the access codes for the weapons. Mark hangs up, and feeds his mentally-challenged brother, Brady, who Mark is taking care of. It turns out that Brady has a rider in his contract just like rock bands, and he refuses to eat any red food. It turns out that he’s a real computer wiz too, since that’s how Mark got the security codes. Mark is one swell guy.

8:07 pm – Gredenko and Fayed leave in a completely inconspicuous dark car, and completely conspicuous U-Haul van.

8:08 pm – Milo is watching Nadia’s videos on YouTube, plotting how she can be TraitorGirl15, the next big viral video on the Internet. Bill says that Nadia is going to be tried as an enemy combatant. Bill says the proof is that she’s the only one in the whole world that could have possibly used her computer to stream information to Gredenko because everyone else in the entire world is completely aware of every single thing their computers do while they’re being used.

8:08 pm – Chloe calls Bill over and tells him that in an amazing plot development, that surprises everyone at CTU, they’ve already figured out that Mark is a traitorous weasel who has been helping Gredenko.

8:09 pm – One of Mike’s guys, Kyle, finding only a small plot device that was on remote drone pilot’s computer, figures out that Nadia is completely innocent of all charges against her. He springs into action and uses it to even the score with Mike for the mysterious “Denver” incident, whatever that is, and gives Mike the small plot device! Jack walks in, and it turns out the next guy they’re going to get to shoot is just a few miles away! This makes the second really, really bad guy very close to CTU in just two shows. Jack invites Mike to come along for all the shooting that’s about to happen, but Mike decides to stay behind, and gives that small plot device a great big squeeze.

Commercial

8:14 pm – In an effort to scare Wayne completely awake, Sandra is standing right by the window in case he wakes up even a little bit. Karen walks in and gives Sandra a big hug, frisking her for any long speeches she might have written for this occasion. Karen cuts the small talk, lets Sandra know about Noah’s crazy nuclear bomb ideas, and asks her to wake up Wayne. Sandra says that if she does that, they won’t know what state Wayne will be in when he wakes up. Karen says that she just wants him woken up, and that Wayne doesn’t have Hiro Nakamura’s abilities anyway, so there’s no chance he would just show up in a different state. Karen insists that Sandra needs to wake up Wayne, and asks WWWD? Sandra agrees to talk to the doctors.

8:16 pm – Back in the Planning Room of Death, Noah is getting a briefing on how to bomb a country that’s basically in the stone age back to the pre-stone age, and boy he’s excited about it. Lennox expresses his displeasure about that by making lots of faces and chewing on his pen, which everyone ignores. Evil Lisa comes in to hand Noah a note. Evil Lisa looks like she could be part of some weird invasion, so it’s probably good that Assad is dead, because he might have recognized her as an alien, since he had previous experience with that sort of thing. Anyway, the note says that Sandra’s about to wake up Wayne. Noah points at the note and says, “This is Karen Hayes”. Evil Lisa says, no, that’s a piece of paper. Noah calls the doctor.

8:18 pm – In Wayne’s room, the doctor gives Sandra and Karen the big news: Wayne’s condition is completely unchanged. The doctor takes a call from Noah. Noah’s gone completely paranoid and accuses the doctor of being in on “the plot” to subvert his policies. The doctor says that with all due respect, there hasn’t been a coherent plot for many hours now, and he doesn’t see that changing any time soon. The doctor finally tells Noah, “You’re not the boss of me”. Noah responds to this by telling the doctor he’s going to nail something unmentionable here on a family blog to a wall, and hangs up.

8:21 pm – Outside Mark’s House of Espionage, Jack’s got a positive ID on Mark, so they go in shooting. This completely freaks Brady out. Jack’s seen Rain Man fifty-seven times, so he’s the one that goes in to talk to Brady. Brady tells Jack that he’s trying to get through a firewall and setup a proxy server port. Jack’s reaction is EXACTLY the same as when Chloe tells him that sort of thing: He gets a glazed look on his face and says, “Oh”. Jack goes over to talk to Mike. Mike says he’s been selling security specs on a nuclear power plant to Gredenko.

8:23 pm – Mike and his second in command arrive at CTU, where they tell Bill that all the computers were “all complicated and stuff”. Mike asks about Nadia, and Bill tells him that she’s in a holding facility. Bill asks Mike why he wanted to know that, and Mike makes up an excuse that he might want to ask Nadia out for a date, but Bill ignores this. Milo comes up to tell Bill that Jack is on the phone. Jack informs Bill they’re going to use Brady to try and catch Gredenko when he comes to get the information about the power plant.

Commercial

8:28 pm – Jack brings Brady to Mark. Mark tells Brady to do whatever Jack wants him to do, and that Jack will take care of him. Mark calls Gredenko and tells him that Brady will have the security specs in the parking lot across the street, but neglects to tell him that Jack will be there with him with a large gun.

8:32 pm – Mike’s second in command who we learn is named Kyle. Kyle turns out to be an especially sleazy weasel, because he tells Milo that Mike has evidence that Nadia is completely innocent! Milo tears off his own arm sling, which he has been using to get sympathy from everyone, and pushes Milo around. In several plot twists that take place within about 10 seconds, it turns out that Mike gave Morris the small plot device. Bill says this is all very confusing, and finds it weird that there are so many people here that have names that start with letters in the middle of the alphabet. He suggests that people with names at the beginning of the alphabet are cool too, but everyone ignores him when Morris points out that the small plot device is real. Bill tells everyone to get back to work, and Milo apologizes to Mike for nearly letting Mike kill him with his bare hands.

Commercial

8:38 pm – Bill has Nadia uncuffed. He tells her that they found evidence that her workstation had been breached, and that she’s clear. She says that she’s actually opaque, and gets up to leave. Bill immediately starts using his mind powers to tell her what she’s thinking: That she’s going to quit and take legal action, but that she wants her to stay because they really need people to stay until the end of the season.

8:40 pm – Milo’s working on Nadia’s workstation when Chloe comes over to point that that Milo has a crush on Nadia. Nadia comes over and tries to point out that CTU isn’t the best place to start a relationship, what with all the gas canisters and shootings that tend to happen around there. Milo counters this with a very awkward to watch kiss. Even the camera guys had to pull back and show them from across the room. It was that awkward.

8:42 pm – Back at Wayne manor, Karen found the time to go get a half double decaffeinated half-caf with a twist of lemon for herself and Sandra. Sandra says she doesn’t like waiting, but recognizes that a lot of exciting stuff happens near the top of the hour, so she says she’ll have to wait. Sandra says that David Palmer had the patience of Job, and Karen tells her that she didn’t realize Job was a doctor. Sandra says, “Patience, not patients!”, but Karen ignores this when the doctor comes in. The doctor says that there has been some intracranial swelling, and if this continues, Wayne will get brain damage, and become a writer for “The Simple Life”. Sandra decides to take a chance and tells him that they need to wait, to see if they can keep Noah from carrying out his evil plan. In some impeccable timing, Wayne makes his machine go ping, which causes the doctor and nursing staff start looking around for some junior mints to see if that will help. One of the nurses makes a phone call to get a team of doctors into Wayne’s room, because they’re occupied with other REALLY important patients elsewhere.

8:44 pm – Jack consults with one of his tactical guys about what to do with Brady. Jack gives Brady one of the new microscopic iPods and puts it into Brady’s ear so that he and Brady can communicate. They go outside to meet with Gredenko. Jack sets up a perimeter with lots of tactical guys, but doesn’t have to call it a perimeter, because he’s Jack.

8:46 pm – Brady waits across the street from his house, and one of the tactical guys has his radio on MUCH too loudly. Jack looks like he wants to shoot him, but Gredenko drives up, so that’ll have to wait. Gredenko gets out of the car, and suddenly everyone realizes they’ve set up all the tactical guys on the wrong side of the street because no one has a clear shot at Gredenko. Brady gives Gredenko a USB drive. While Gredenko downloads the information into his laptop, he proves he’s a complete jerk by telling his men to shoot Brady as soon as the information is done downloading. Jack hears this, and tells Brady to hit the ground as soon as he can. The information gets done downloading, and Gredenko gives the order to kill Brady. After a tense moment where Brady doesn’t immediately hit the ground, he finally does, just in time for Gredenko to receive a new feathery ornament right in the neck. Lots of people get shot, including someone that’s still in the car. (Jack called dibs on that one, and shot him as soon as he got out). Brady, fortunately, is OK. The tactical guys drag Gredenko inside the house.

Commercial

8:53 pm – Jack gets Brady into a car to go see Mark at the hospital. As Jack goes in to talk to Gredenko, one of the tactical guys asks “Do you need help with him?” Jack mumbles, “You must be new here”, and then declines.

8:54 pm – Jack asks Gredenko, “Do you know who I am?” Gredenko tells Jack that he knows all about him, because they get “24” in Russia too, only there it’s called “Man Who Will Shoot You in the Thigh”. Jack threatens to do some nasty interrogating and then send Gredenko back to Russia, so Gredenko readily admits where the next target is. In return, he wants amnesty, a promise he won’t be sent back to Russia, and guarantee that Sanjaya will be off American Idol this week. This apparently stuns Jack, because he’s starts to go into a one-sided staring contest with Gredenko, who continues to just babble away.

8:56 pm – Back in Noah’s planning room, Lennox brings Noah some very bad news: Jack has Gredenko in custody. At least, Noah considers this bad news, but decides, what the heck, since they’re already in the neighborhood, the nuclear strike should continue. Lennox tries to argue with him, but Noah says that the special effects guys have been ready to go for a long time now, and he doesn’t want to disappoint them.

8:58 pm – Just as the commander calls to give the order, it turns out that the fleet already has orders… from President Wayne! The phone rings, and its Wayne calling for Noah! Wayne tells Noah that there is to be no launch today, and hangs up on Noah.

8:59 pm – Noah takes this opportunity to point out that Wayne must have been kidding about the “don’t bomb” thing, doesn’t want Wayne to remain in power, and asks to talk to the attorney general! Noah’s going to try and get Wayne out of the way!

9:00 pm – Time’s up!

NEXT TIME: WAYNE IS BACK, FIGHTING FOR HIS JOB! EVIL LISA ADVISES NOAH! BILL STATES THE OBVIOUS ABOUT THE BOMBS! JACK IS ITCHING TO SHOOT GREDENKO! LOTS OF SHOOTING!

24 Season 6 – Episode 7 – 12 pm to 1 pm Synopsis

Previously on 24: We found out that: Lennox keeps skeletons in his closet; Jack can yell at Gray so much that he can make him cry; people that can arm nuclear devices can be found in less than an hour in southern California; if you pick pocket a phone from someone, it’s probably a good idea to just toss it on the ground after you use it; Jack and his father are about to sing “Unchained Melody” in the back of a van.

The following summary occurs between 12 pm and 1 pm:

12:00 pm – It looks like hazmat ice cream trucks take longer to get to scenes of tragedy than perky news crews. Perky news crews also don’t understand the concept of being down wind of nuclear explosions.

12:01 pm – Lennox puts on his sad eyes and goes to tell President Wayne that he’s really sorry that Haig resigned, and comes up with a lame excuse to try to get Wayne to sign his autograph on some authorizations to declare everyone in the United States as illegal. Lennox seems to think that getting Wayne to sign a piece of paper is going to get Fayed to stop exploding things. Wayne tells Lennox to pass out copies to the cabinet, and Lennox is REALLY excited about it.

12:02 pm – Haig gets a phone call from Bill, and tells him that she resigned. Bill says that this is a really bad day to resign, because if she takes a plane back to LA, she’ll be off camera for at least a few hours, hampering her chances to get an Emmy for “Most Overly Dramatic Actress In a Nuclear Crisis”. Bill tries to call her back, but she can’t afford the air-time minutes, and doesn’t answer the call. A door slides open, and she enters a little green elevator with a very bored looking CIA guy inside who looks like he wants to say “I joined the CIA for this?”

12:03 pm – At CTU, Chloe tells Bill that she can’t reach Jack by satellite, phone, or smoke signal. She says she’ll keep trying.

12:03 pm – In the van, a thug is on the phone with Gray, who is dumping hard drives… probably on Ebay. Jack’s father starts to tell Jack that everything he’s worked for has been for Jack, but Jack looks unconvinced since he still has a government job. A government job that lets him shoot people, sure, but still….

12:07 pm – The van stops at a junk hard, and the thugs make the mistake of 1) unchaining Jack, and 2) carrying guns. They move to a hole in the ground right next to a cement truck, and a struggle ensues! There’s shooting! YEAH! It’s been WAY too long, and Jack, while relieved he finally got to shoot someone, forgot to tell his Dad not to join the fun because now they have no one to question.

12:10 pm – Jack, with his hands still handcuffed calls Bill, and tells him that Gray has been a naughty nuclear collaborating monkey.

12:11 pm – McCarthy calls to tell Fayed that he found a guy to do the nuclear arming, and actually sends his resume to Fayed! They have very strict hiring laws in California.

Commercial

12:15 pm – Nadia plays a recording for Bill of a podcast she downloaded featuring Fayed’s and McCarthy’s phone call. Morris has a weird screen saver that he hopes can reconstruct the resume, in about 10 minutes, so we’ll check back then.

12:16 pm – Jack stops off to meet one of the CTU guys in the field, Hal Turner, outside of Gray’s house. Jack tells Hal that he wants Gray taken alive, but it’s OK to shoot just about anything else. Jack’s dad wants to know “What are you going to do to him?” and Jack answers, “His hair and nails”, and leaves before his father remembers that Gray is bald.

12:17 pm – Gray, his wife Marilyn, and his son Josh, all start arguing with each other when Jack bursts into the room with some CTU guys. Gray pulls a gun, which really surprises his wife and son. It seems that Gray hasn’t quite told the truth about his real job.

12:18 pm – Jack tells Marilyn that Gray is involved with the nuclear blast, and she doesn’t seem all that surprised that Gray is a weasel. Marilyn stops Jack cold when she tells him, “I’ve seen what happens when you try and protect people”. Ouch.

12:19 pm – The tactical commando guys at CTU must have gone through the Chloe Computer Training Course because they know how to upload whole hard drives up to CTU. Jack tells the commando to take Marilyn and Josh to CTU for safe keeping, because we all know NOTHING can go wrong there. Except Tony. And Edgar. And a Hobbit.

12:20 pm – Josh and Marilyn see Jack’s dad, and Marilyn tells him to tell Jack to “Keep Josh out of this”… She seems to be under the impression that Josh might be the mastermind behind this whole thing.

12:21 pm – Gray tries the “penguin on top of the television” defense and tells Jack that he panicked. Jack yells at Gray, and when that doesn’t work, Jack yells louder, which doesn’t work either. Then Jack tells the interrogation guy, “Set up the Interrogation Package”, which is an upgrade from the “Yelling At” package”. The Interrogation Package comes in a silver suitcase.

Commercial

12:27 pm – Milo gets Chloe and shows her information about Morris’ brother, who either stood way to close to a microwave oven, or got hit with the nuclear blast. He’s in critical condition. Milo takes a page from Management 101 and says he wants to keep Morris from knowing about this because he’s still got several hours of work to do. Chloe ignores this and tells Morris, who can’t understand why his brother was in Valencia. Morris tries to leave, but Chloe convinces him to stay and help.

12:29 pm – Back at the Bauer House of Impending Torture, Jack is on the phone with Bill, who tells Jack about the nuclear engineer and the resume. Gray is having the finishing touches of duct tape applied when Jack walks in and tells Gray about McCarthy’s plan to find an engineer. Gray tells him that since nearly every engineer in California works for Google now, he doesn’t believe it. Meanwhile, Jack’s father just wanders into Gray’s house, despite the large number of CTU commandos all over the place. One of the commandos is video taping the talk Jack and Gray are having for a DVD called “Bauers Gone Wild”, while Jack’s father watches.

12:30 pm – Jack wants to inject Gray with some rather nasty stuff that will cause pain and induce overacting in Gray, and it really works. Gray starts overacting all over the place, but won’t tell Jack anything. They really crank up the CCs of the stuff, and Gray finally starts to confess that it’s not McCarthy but it’s really about everything from LAST season, including David Palmer, Tony, Michelle, but he SWEARS he has nothing to do with Manilow. He tells Jack that he also set Jack up to be killed before, not just what’s happened today. Gray says he’s doing all this “because he loves his country”. Why killing Jack would help the country, I have no idea. I can only think that Gray hasn’t been watching Jack’s fine handiwork for the last few seasons. Gray makes the mistake of telling Jack the cliché “We’re just the same”, which must be a trigger word for Jack because it makes him REALLY mad, and he does the unthinkable. He pushes Gray’s chair over backwards and starts yelling at everyone that he wants to Gray dead right now. The only thing that stops his rampage is when Jack sees his father, who has a VERY disappointed look on his face. Gray looks angry. I mean really angry. I mean, if he were near the nuclear blast earlier, he’d be Bruce Banner angry.

Commercial

12:40 pm – Sandra’s in the hospital with Walid. Walid must be one tough guy, because all he has is a band-aid on his face after that beating he took in the courtyard. Sandra tries to comfort him by telling him that there’s a BIG lawsuit in this for him.

12:41 pm – President Wayne calls Sandra to ask about Walid, and she starts telling him that the men in the courtyard were “innocent bystanders” who just happened to pull down information from the Internet about the additional nuclear weapons, forgetting that the police might have been a bit interested in that.

12:42 pm – Morris downloads an open source application to try to help descramble what he’s working on, but it nearly doesn’t work because he just installed Vista.

12:42 pm – Jack is on the phone with Bill. Jack tells Bill all about Gray’s activities last season, going to Enron-like lengths to protect the company. Gray’s going to CTU, and CTU is setting up at a middle school for what I can only guess will be a gruesome show and tell later.

12:43 pm – Back inside the house, Jack tries to tell his Dad that Gray made “bad choices”, and that’s why he’s in the time out chair. Jack’s father says Jack deserved a “better family”. Jacks wants his father to go to CTU, which will just be about at maximum Bauer capacity by the time he gets there with Gray, Marilyn and Josh.

Commercial

12:50 pm – Morris’ Eclipse plug-in is working, so they should have the picture soon.

12:51 pm – A very scary looking vice president, even scarier looking than last year’s, is on Air Force 2 and confers with Lennox about “the plan”. The cabinet convenes, and Wayne wants to know if everyone’s read “Executive Order 1066”. Everyone looks as though they’re already sick of the other 1065 Executive orders, so one more is just more of the same. They all pretend they’ve read it.

12:52 pm – Wayne drops his own bomb that he’s NOT going to use Lennox’s plan, and launches into a political speech. He and Tom argue back and forth in the same format that Sandra uses to monologue. We also find out that the vice president’s name is “Noah”.

12:53 pm – At CTU everyone is running around urgently. They’re really dragging out the picture Morris is trying to reconstruct. The picture finally reassembles, and TA DA! It’s Morris! They’re going to try and get Morris to set the nuclear weapons! Morris, of course, has left the building, and is now in extreme danger of becoming the focus of the next several hours of the show. The whole thing with Morris’ brother at the hospital was a set up just to get Morris outside of CTU.

12:55 pm – CTU gets Morris on the phone, and just as he’s talking to Jack, McCarthy shows up, gets angry at the passenger seat of Morris’ car, shoots it, and steals Morris, all with everyone listening in on the phone. Bet that makes the Christmas blooper reel.

12:56 pm – Back at Gray’s house, Gray is still tied up, and Jack’s father asks to talk to Gray alone, which no one considers even the slightest bit suspicious.

12:57 pm – Well, well, well… Jack’s father and Gray are still in on the whole thing together. They’ve planned everything! They really, really want the company to survive, and Gray says he’s going to be a tough monkey to protect the company.

12:59 pm – Jack’s dad doesn’t believe him, shoots chemicals into Gray’s IV drip, and kills him! They just left a syringe lying around?? Wonder if that video tape was still going in the other room?

1:00 pm – Time’s up!

NEXT TIME: TWO HOUR SHOW! A SUPER FAST PLANE HAS GOTTEN ASSAD TO WASHINGTON ALREADY! SHOOTING! EXPLOSIONS! JACK HAS TO DISARM A TICKING BRIEFCASE!

Be sure and catch all of Steve’s summaries of Season 6 of “24”!