24 – Live Another Day – Hour 10 recap

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Previously on “24” – We learned: Sometimes Internet Theories are right; You should never go close to an open window through which you saw Jack Bauer swing past; Gravity is still a harsh mistress; Steve is now less mole and more road runner; Chloe and Adrian have apparently friend-ed each other on Facebook.

The following takes place between 8pm and 9pm –

8pm – Jack calls Kate and tells her that Steve is the mole. Jack is in hot pursuit, by walking very briskly, which is kind of a London thing to do.

Steve calls Adrian, who really wanted a new PS4, but has to settle for the override device. Steve’s worried that Adrian won’t like it, what with the dead terrorist blood all over it it, but agrees to meet him.

As soon as Adrian hangs up, he turns around, and Chloe is standing right there, wanting to know what’s going on. At first it’s a little hard to tell if she’s upset or not because all the black makeup and her lopsided haircut makes it tough to read her facial expression. Adrian tries to justify it by saying that he’s going to break into the world’s arsenals and let everyone know the codes by making a quick post on Twitter. At first, Chloe is completely relieved, because Adrian, like most people, has only a couple of followers, and they’re spambots. But then, he says he’s going to post it on Facebook, and she realizes that since he friends everyone he can for about eight hours a day while he’s waiting for computers to break into, the arsenal info could get a little more spread around than it should be. He even brings up her dead husband and son, but she looks really worried. They have an awkward hacker hug.

Creepy Spy Guy back at CIA calls Jack, who says there are these things called “passwords” that have some how locked him out of all the cameras that are around London, the same ones that they usually spy on everyone with. And gosh darn it, he’s stumped. Jack tells him to work on it and send backup right away. Creepy Spy Guy says that sending tape backups won’t help Jack, but he’ll send some guys over to help Jack right away. Jack’s previous brisk walk has now changed into a slow trot. Jack looks like he really regrets that Chloe isn’t handling this.

8:06 pm – Steve emerges from an alley, and nearly gets hit by the ONE truck that’s we’ve seen on the streets since the beginning of the show… and what do you know, Jack just happens to be in the vicinity. Steve runs, pulls out a gun while he’s running and happens across an army guard with a machine gun talking to someone right there on the street. The guy talking to the guard doesn’t seem to think this is weird at all, a guy with a gun running in London, and he doesn’t tell the guard he’s about to get hit. Steve hits him, and grabs the machine gun the guard drops. Then, in fit of rage, Steve shoots some helpless beer kegs near Jack. Steve uses up all the bullets right away, throws the gun away and runs. Jack heads right after him, but not before saying a few words to the recently departed beer kegs.

More dark alley running. Steve and Jack pull their guns… Jack has Steve cornered! ….But no, Steve goes into Mole form and gets away.

Steve calls Adrian, while running at top speed. It’s very lucky that Steve was an Olympic athlete in the “Making Phone Calls While Running At Top Speed” event. Steve arrives at the rendezvous point. Adrian tells him there’s an envelope containing money, a passport, and a do not pass Go ticket waiting for him in a cement mixer. Adrian then instructs Steve to drop the override device in a slot in the wall behind him, which he does. When Steve asks where the getaway car is, he seems kind of surprised that Adrian has already hung up the phone.

We see Adrian and Chloe walk off at this point, but Chloe doesn’t look to happy about it. It looks like Chloe is going to change her relationship status to “it’s complicated”.

Steve runs, with Jack in hot pursuit. Steve runs the wrong way, and happens to go in the exact direction of the pursuit team that Creepy Spy Guy sent, even though he had no real good idea where to send them. Steve kneels down, and puts his hands up, hoping this means he’ll be off the show this week. When he doesn’t find the device on Steve, even after a brief massage, Jack takes off, leaving Steve to be arrested.

Jack runs to the nearby subway station, and looks around, but doesn’t see anyone suspicious, except for the tons of people there. For some reason there weren’t many people on the streets, because they all are down here, riding the escalators and subways. Jack sees Adrian head downstairs, and runs after him. Jack rushes down the escalator past all the people there just for the ride, and narrowly misses getting on the subway car that Adrian and Chloe are on. Jack tries to run down the subway station platform, thinking that matching the car’s speed will slow it down, but it doesn’t work. Adrian sees him, but Chloe is staring off at other people in the car, wondering what color makeup would feel like.

The train pulls away, and Jack calls CIA to have the train tracked to find out where the train tracks will lead the train so he can follow in its tracks.

COMMERCIAL

8:15 pm – It took five more minutes for Steve to be picked up from the ground off into one of the CIA cars. Meanwhile a walk-on extra tells Jack that the train he was chasing had the emergency break pulled. Jack is hopeful that the rest of the people on the subway car beat up Adrian for doing that, but since this is London, everyone was too polite to say anything. The extra tells Jack that two people left the train, and they have no way of tracking them.

Jack calls Kate to let her know Adrian has the device, and the Chloe is with him. Erik thinks that Chloe is a dirty stinking mole, but Jack isn’t sure.

Erik and Kate are actually at makeshift CIA headquarters, where Erik immediately gives a speech about he’s in charge, that Steve is a big doody-head, and that he’s going to finally get better coffee for the office.

Kate asks Creepy Spy Guy to figure out what Jordan was looking for, and to promise to run off and die the way Jordan did.

Back that the embassy, President Heller enjoys an alcoholic beverage just as Audrey walks in. She nags him that he can’t be taking his medication and alcohol because “believe me, it’ll make you loopy insane! Woooooo!” She tells him that Air Force One is on the tarmac, and ready to go. He’s unsure about this, and realizes she means the a copy of the movie on DVD, not the plane. Heller is disappointed that he didn’t get an agreement about the drone bases. And that he didn’t get to get blown up at the stadium, since no other president ever attempted that before. He tells her that he’s going to resign, and the vice-president is going to need to take over.

Mark walks in during the middle of Audrey’s scene with her father, and she almost breaks character because she’s so upset. It turns out that Mark has a phone call from Erik. Erik tells the President that the absolutely secure facility they have wasn’t absolutely secure enough to keep someone from stealing the override device. He also mentions that Jack happened to catch Steve, who was a mole. Also, that the override device has had its CPU overclocked, so now it can get past the basic firewall security that most countries have. Mainly because no one ever changes the default passwords. Jack’s headed back to “interrogate” Steve. Heller tells Mark he’s staying until they figure this out.

Creepy Spy Guy tells Kate and Erik that he found the information Jordan was looking for, which happens to completely clear Kate’s husband. The same husband everyone and their brother was telling us for scene after scene that he had sold secrets to the Chinese. Kate tries to run after Steve as he arrives, but Erik stops her from “interrogating” him. Erik sends her to a private office, which is completely private, except for all the glass walls.

Jack, who has arrived with Steve, asks what’s going on. Erik tells him, and Jack looks disappointed that Kate might actually get her husband back since he’s not really the spy everyone thought he was. Also, that Steve was the guy really selling the secrets.

Erik wants to use enhanced interrogation techniques on Steve, but Jack says it won’t work because Steve has a merit badge in interrogation resistance. Jack suggests using “Jack Bauer” interrogation techniques, which are much, much different – like the difference between Open Pit and Insanity Sauce. Jack’s pretty sure he can scare the snot out of Steve. Erik tells him, “If you cross the line, I’m pulling you.” Jack says, “Just so we’re clear, I wasn’t asking…that was me being courteous.”

Jack goes to Kate, who is still clearly upset about what Steve did. And it turns out that her husband won’t be getting out after all, since (yikes) he killed himself. Jack asks if she wants to step aside, since she’s still very upset.

Steve is in the interrogation room, not wearing a shirt, because there’s a “No-shirt, No-shoes, Interrogate” policy. We see that he’s got some black Tic-Tac boxes glued to his chest, wirelessly hooked up to a device they’re using to see if he’s a jerk or not. It’s registering that he is, so things are good to go as Kate and Jack walk into the observation room. Jack doesn’t appear to be interested in observing. He goes in to talk to Steve, and tells everyone else to leave the room.

Jack tells Steve he knows all about what Steve did in his previous life as a mole. He says, this is only going to end in one way – the death penalty! Wait…maybe two ways. If Steve tells where Adrian is, then they can probably not do the death penalty, so there are two ways this might end. Jack says he’ll keep it loose just in case there might be more ways this could end.

Steve is very unimpressed, and says he wants full immunity, a signed pardon, and a cheeseburger. He says he knows where Adrian is. Jack gives him one last chance, and Steve laughs this off. Jack decides to take matters into his own hands and … smacks Steve’s hand a bunch of times. Not exactly a “Jack Bauer” move, but in Jack’s defense it looked like he hit the hand really hard. A bunch of guards along with Erik, break up the fight. One of the guards clearly looks disappointed at Jack for not being more Jack-like. Kate is having none of this either, because she clearly wants to see Steve beaten up a lot more.

Erik tells Kate that he needs to make the case to the president that Steve might need immunity in order to find out where Adrian is. Kate looks extremely disappointed in Erik and Jack.

COMMERICAL

8:31pm – Mark tells his subordinate they’re going to need an immunity deal drawn up and signed by the president. Mark decides not to forge the president’s signature on this document, since the last time he did it the Russians found out about it. They continue down the hallway talking about this, until Mark realizes Audrey is at the other end. Too late! She saw them move. Mark does the brave thing and tells the subordinate to run and save himself. And also to get the document finished.

The first thing that Audrey says is, “I’m sorry I snapped at you.” She doesn’t say anything about the crying and barking. Mark’s upset for another reason… He’s still freaked out about Jack! All this hanging around Audrey has clearly rubbed off on Mark, and they spend a little while whining to each other… Even Audrey can’t take this, and walks out.

Mark calls the Russian consulate guy in frustration, and tells him where to get Jack Mark says he’ll send the secure code on Jack’s phone to the Russians, and in exchange the Russians will pretend that Mark never forged the president’s signature. They’ll also pretend he’s not a sleazy weasel, which will be tougher.

Adrian and Chloe get back in the car to head back to Adrian’s new hacker hideout. He puts the bag carrying the device in the back of the car. Chloe’s able to use the old “Put a coat over the bag and carry it away” combined with the “I have to pee” ruse to get the device out of the car, and herself away from Adrian.

This works so well, she can’t even believe it herself. She so stunned that she flags down a passing truck, which is not nearly far enough away from Adrian. After a few bullets in the truck, it drives off without her. Adrian grabs the bag from Chloe, and they argue briefly, and he makes her get back into the car.

At the makeshift CIA operating room, Steve already has his hand bandaged, and asks for something for the pain. The doctor replies that he has to put up with the pain of what’s going on in this story just like everyone else, and declines.

Kate, surprisingly walks right into the room, pulls a gun and smacks Steve around a little bit, and frankly a lot more effectively than Jack did earlier. She really looks like she wants to show how guns insert bullets into skulls, when Jack pulls a gun on her. Ordinarily, I’d say that this was Jack and Kate’s early courtship ritual, but it looks more serious than that. She keeps repeating that she doesn’t believe him, and scares him so badly he just blurts out that secret code he said he used in a tracking device he put on the override device. So, basically a secret device on another secret device.

She pulls away, and says, “Did you get that?” Creepy Spy Guy, in another room, runs a quick trace and…tada! Steve was telling the truth for once. Steve looks stunned that he was tricked like that. Kate tells him that she can’t wait until he’s executed for what he’s done, that she’ll be there, and she’ll bring some popcorn.

Commercial

8:42 pm –Erik, settling right into his new job as the head guy, runs to find out what happened just before we went to commercial a few minutes ago, but is too late to be there. Jack just informs him that Kate got the info. Kate walks by Erik without saying a word. Erik, who appears to have been a good agent before being put in charge, doesn’t seem to understand how he became so incompetent so quickly,

President Heller talks to some top military guys who also happen to be vacationing in the London area, but are here to brief him on what’s going on. They consider it a big mistake for Heller to post about the existence of the override device on his blog, so he decides not to. Mark enters the room and says that they did everything they could to get the immunity deal ready, and that Steve should be talking any time now.

Heller informs him that Steve’s already spilled his guts. Since Jack is involved, he had to say that he meant Steve told them everything, and there were no real guts involved. He also tells Mark that Jack is leading the team to get the override device, which really concerns Mark since he’s got Russians leading the team to get the Jack Bauer.

On the phone, Jack tells Creepy Spy Guy that they’re going to have to go into the Adrian perimeter from a bunch of different directions. Some will go in from the south, some from the east and west. Jack is considering coming in from underneath but might parachute in because it would add to the difficultly. Or he might just drive in with Kate.

Kate’s being pretty quiet in the car, and regrets not believing her husband. She feels she’s the one that caused his death. When she asks Jack how she’ll live with that, he tells her that “you just do”. Shooting a lot of bad people helps too. He tells her about his tale of revenge, and he seems to regret some of the shooting. He says then, you’ll be able to forgive yourself.

Adrian and Chloe arrive at an abandoned tech lab, labeled “Abandoned Tech Lab”. Chloe wants to know if everyone knows what he wants to do with the override device. He assures her that they’ll all be happy to see her. They walk in, and either they were REALLY upset the Chloe was coming back and killed themselves, or someone else was there and killed them all. Or they’re part of some weird override device cult.

Adrian’s really upset, because he’s never seen real, live, dead people before. One guy is still alive. Chloe tries to comfort him, but he doesn’t look very comfortable.

…And in walks CHENG … Chloe recognizes him as soon as he walks in, and that’s how we know who it is. Cheng brings a bunch of thugs, who all carry guns.

Cheng is very upset at Adrian for trying to sell the override device he was supposed to be developing for the him. Adrian swears it’ll be better than the PS4, but Cheng doesn’t believe him. Cheng recognizes Chloe, but Adrian is surprised Chloe knows him.

Chloe tells Adrian that Cheng is the previous head of Chinese security, who kidnapped Jack and Audrey, and tortured both of them. Chloe says this is probably fates way of letting Jack get even with Cheng, or it could just be an idea that the “24” writers came up with as a way to end the show in a satisfying way. Whatever it is, Cheng is one bad dude.

Cheng’s upset that the device has changed. Adrian explains that Yates changed the override device to play Xbox games. Cheng suggests that Chloe switch it back. She refuses and so Cheng shoots Adrian in the leg. Chloe then agrees, because a holy Adrian would be even more self satisfied about giving out secrets. Also, a holey Adrian would be a bad thing, especially one with a hole in his head. He’d talk less… a lot less.

Commercial

8:53 pm – Mark tries to talk to the Russian consul, but only gets his voice mail after pressing through the voice menus twice.

Jack is on the way to Adrian still, and gets the exact coordinates from Creepy Spy Guy.

Back at the previous hacker hideout, the hideout is still there, it’s just that the hackers are previous. Except for Chloe. She’s smart talking to Cheng while he stands over her shoulder trying to give her advice about how to program.

All of the sudden, they drag Chloe away from her terminal, and one of Cheng’s guys takes over. He’s a hacker too, and immediately deletes the virus Chloe sneezed into the firmware. They just need a way into the firmware, which, for anyone who knows anything about computers is as silly as having to ask how to get a memory dump. Ha Ha!…. anyway…

Adrian doesn’t think he’ll make it out alive, and confesses to Chloe that her husband and child’s death really was an accident… there was no one after Chloe in the first place.

Cheng’s hacker guy to quits playing Nethack on the device, and tells Cheng that he’s into Naval Command. Cheng says he’s into that too, and realizes that the guy mean the computer server. Cheng says “Draft the order”.

Cheng says they’re almost done, walks up and shoots Adrian. Chloe goes crazy.

Outside, Jack and Kate quietly make their way to the previous hacker hideout, when a truck broadsides them! The truck is either from Miami or from Russia, because it’s not following the rules of the road. Turns out, it’s the Russians, because of the Russian they speak. Also turns out that they’re ex-Russians because of the bullets Kate and Jack shoot. Another car arrives and shoots at Kate and Jack as they run off.

Inside, Cheng is ordering his hacker guy to send instructions to a nuclear submarine.

The nuclear sub gets a message to sink a Chinese carrier! They take no time at all carrying out the order, and firing the torpedoes. Someone’s going to need a new Chinese carrier.

TIME’S UP!

NEXT TIME ON “24” – TWO EPISODES LEFT! AUDREY GIVING JACK ORDERS! FIRE! GUN ON MARK! MARK UNDER ARREST! CHINESE THREATS! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

Gordon Ramsay to end Kitchen Nightmares

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Gordon Ramsay has announced on his blog that Kitchen Nightmares will end after filming finishes for upcoming episodes:

I’m currently filming 4 new episodes, Costa Del Nightmares, for Channel 4 which will be my last. I’ve had a phenomenal 10 years making 123 episodes, 12 seasons, shot across 2 continents, watched by tens of millions of people and sold to over 150 countries. It’s been a blast but it’s time to call it a day.

Starting in 2004 this was the show that really propelled my TV career and I’m very grateful for the amazing team behind the series and for the support from the viewers for almost over a decade! From the first episode which aired in April 2004 with over 5 million viewers we’re now 12 seasons later and it’s been an amazing journey. In 2007 we took the show to America on Fox and they’ve just finished airing series 7 this summer. During this time I’ve visited over 100 restaurants, meeting and trying to help or in some cases failing to help, some of the most weird and wonderful people. Of course Amy’s Baking Company is a standout along with Bonaparte’s but there were good times too; the lovely sisters at La Galleria and Momma Cherri’s to name but two.

Gordon Ramsay’s Announcement
via Variety.

24: Live Another Day – Hour 9 recap

PREVIOUSLY ON “24” – We saw the make-shift CIA headquarters make an operating room appear out of nowhere; Kate and Jack were into trepanning – Simone, not so much; A baseball cap makes a great disguise; Jordan was paying attention in spy school; If you fly a helicopter anywhere in London no one will give it a second thought; Audrey cried….AGAIN; Completely open soccer stadiums in England with their lights on are just bait – they lay land mines in them at night; Margot and Ian were kind of surprised their plan worked; President Heller finally cracked up and went to pieces.

The following takes place between 7pm and 8pm –

7:00pm – Some needs to turn off the no smoking sign at Wembley. The Prime Minister is overcome with grief as the soccer stadium is blown up. He’s also kind of upset about The President, and gives Audrey his condolences.

At make-shift CIA headquarters, everyone’s wondering why Margot hates soccer stadiums so much. Kate explains that The President went out for a stroll, and exploded. Steve and Erik can’t believe it. Creepy Stalker Guy reports that several explosions happened off the coast of Dover, and those probably weren’t accompanied by exploding presidents.

At Margot’s House of Stadium Hate, Ian and Margot decide to send the last drone in for a nose dive, since Heller kept his word. They both think Margot’s husband (and Ian’s Dad), would have loved what they did with the drones, since he always hated soccer too.

Ian decides to play the exploding Heller tape one more time, and notices it has a YouTube logo down in the bottom of the screen! It was fake! Heller probably wasn’t there! They try and get the drone back.

HELLER IS ALIVE… or at least a remarkable facsimile of alive. Heller wants to know why he wasn’t told about this whole plan. Jack starts to explain that he WAS told the plan, like about 50 times, but he finally gave up… So he tells Heller they couldn’t risk it.

Chloe calls! All the drones are down! Yeah! Except for one… that looks like it is turning back. Boo.

Heller argues that he should have died in the first place, since he really wanted off the show. Jack says that he considers it a “good thing” that Heller didn’t die. Heller seems confused by this whole “alive” and “dead” concept.

Belachek drives up in a car, and Heller goes to try and take his take-out order. Then he asks to be driven back to the Presidential Headquarters. Jack convinces Heller to “stay dark”, so Jack can DO WANT HE DOES… and he runs off to the helicopter.

Heller tries to pull the whole “I am the American President!” ploy on Belachek, so he’ll give him a phone to call the Secret Service. Belachek tells him, A) he’s not American, B) this is not America, and C) it’s a TV show. Heller looks confused.

Jack calls Kate and asks to be patched into the Presidential Suite. Kate says she can’t do that since Jack is far away, but can probably do it with the phone call. Jack tells everyone that Heller is still alive, and everyone remarks how easy it is to hear Jack, despite him being in a noisy helicopter. Mark looks particularly happy that he won’t be looking for a new job.

Jack tells everyone listening that Margot still has a drone and is probably a little ticked off and will attack London. Audrey says that she once had ticks, but everyone ignores her. Jack goes on to explain that Heller is with one of his guys, and they’re probably out drinking somewhere while he takes care of Margot.

Kate asks Jack what he needs, and he says “man power”. Everyone breaks into a chorus of “It’s Raining Men”, but then they go back to normal. Jack tells them he’s going to take his quiet helicopter to find Margot, and that everyone needs to help Chloe as best as they can, because she’s in a bar with dial-up and a Timex Sinclair.

Kate’s worried about Jordan. Steve is MORE worried about Jordan.

7:12pm – Margot isn’t worried about Jordan at all, she’s more worried about what Ian is telling her about the drone possibly getting shot down. Ian just happens across some footage from the “24” that was shown just a few minutes ago which shows Jack talking to Heller. And a Sprint commercial, which they both agree is annoying. Ian wants to switch to AT&T and “reach out and touch someone”, namely Heller, with the last missile. Margot has a better plan… she’s going to teach Heller a lesson… in acting! No, my mistake. She wants to blow some people up. That’ll teach him!

Commercial

7:17pm – Jack is taking his time flying to Margot, and gives traffic reports as Chloe tries to track where Margot is. She calls Adrian.

Adrian is sitting in his new hide out while people from Best Buy London set up all kinds of equipment behind him. Chloe asks Adrian for help tracing the signal from Margot, since she can’t triangulate it properly using the ancient bar technology she’s having to rely on. Adrian just happens to have a brand new version of hacking software, which triangulates really well. We can tell his because it draws an actual triangle on the map.

7:20 p – Chloe calls Jack and tells him that if he lands his helicopter on the dot on the triangle, she’s pretty sure that Margot will be dead because of a helicopter landing on her. Kate’s on the line too, and they’re both heading to Margot. Chloe suggests they shut off the power because that’ll make it easier to find Margot and it’ll tick her off at the same time, because no one likes losing their internet during 24.

Kate and Erik drive up, and she immediately knows this is the right place because people start shooting at her car. There’s lots of shooting, and Jack seems a little jealous that he’s not there. He tells Kate to take out a junction box that Chloe found while he lands on the roof. He hopes to land the helicopter on the roof too.

Meanwhile, the drone is headed to London, hoping to do some shooting of its own.

Jack lands the helicopter, and as a bonus gift, gets to shoot people right away.

Kate blows up the power box, and in a completely unbelievable display, the power company gets it back online within 30 seconds.

That’s just enough time for Chloe to pinpoint the exact floor, room and rental agreement of the location that Margot and Ian are in.

Margot and Ian set the target to Waterloo station. That information is relayed to everyone else, and the Prime Minister calls for an immediate evacuation, because if people don’t get out of there and they see that drone missile headed their way, there are going to be many immediate evacuations.

Back at the building where Margot is hiding out, Jack searches for other ways in, while Kate and Erik shoot as many people as possible.

The room where Margot and Ian are hiding out has really great glass because they appear not to have heard any of the shooting or explosions outside. Ian says now would be a great time to get away, since the drone is locked in. Margot really wants to stay, just in case the drone reboots or something. Ian thinks it would be a great time to become like a shepard and get the flock out of there, but after Margot pulls a gun on him, he decides to not get the flock out of there. Margot gives Ian a creepy hug.

On the roof, Jack pulls some electrical cable and ties it to a railing, because he’s always wanted to go wall climbing in London. Meanwhile, the CIA guys with armor get shot down in a hallway by some of Margot’s guys, while Kate, wearing no armor, doesn’t get close to getting shot.

Jack repels off the building, going “hut hut hut” all the way to the room where Margot is. He can tell that’s where Margot is because she finally hears a noise, and notices Jack dangling outside the window. Ian shoots the windows out, and foolishly goes to check to see what happened to Jack. Jack grabs Ian, and pulls him outside so Ian can get a better look at the ground, up close and personal. Ian takes this to an extreme and splats on the ground.

Jack climbs into the room. Margot, for some reason, has already put her gun back in her purse and can’t get it out in time, so Jack shoots her… for being a terrorist AND for being stupid. The missile fires!

Chloe tells Jack what to do on the computer while he holds Margot in one hand, and types in commands with the other. He grabs Ian’s video game joystick and diverts the missile to the water. The missile explodes exactly like the one at Wembley except with less dirt and more water. There are going to be a lot of swimmers that are angry about the hole in the water that’s….wait… never mind.

At the presidential suite, they realize Jack saved the people at Waterloo station, and start applauding, even though Jack isn’t there to hear it.

At Margot’s Hideout of Failed Drone Attacks, she tells Jack that literally tens of people got hurt because of him, with hangnails, and everything. Jack doesn’t take this very kindly, and decides to give Margot a flying lesson out the window, just like Ian’s flying lesson. It ends the same way, and it’s very messy.

COMMERICAL

7:33 pm – Belachek drives Heller back to the Presidential Headquarters, comparing his name to Madonna and Cher. Only as a guy.

The Prime Minister, Mark and Audrey all congratulate Heller on not dying and on ending the show about two and half hours earlier than anyone expected.

Jack is gathering up the equipment and wants to have the override device that Ian was using analyzed. Oh, and Margot and Ian are dead. Like dead, dead. Not like Heller “dead”.

Kate and Jack exchange a meaningful, “Wow, isn’t it great shooting people?” glances as Jack leaves and Kate gets a phone call.

It’s one of the policemen Kate works with “in the field”. He says, “I’m standing next to two bodies, and I think one of them is yours”. Kate’s pretty sure it’s not her body, since she’s standing in it right at that moment, so it must be someone else. She asks how the guy knows it’s someone from the CIA, and he says “he’s got CIA tattooed on the back of the neck”, just like the clergy do with their diocese in England. Also state credentials in his pocket, which is a dead giveaway. Much like Jordan, who is identified as the dead guy. Kate’s shaken up by this. Erik can’t believe it either.

Kate calls Steve and he acts surprised that Jordan is dead! And REALLY surprised that The Cleaner’s body is there too. People around him want to know what’s going on, but Steve acts strangely as he moves away. Steve immediately goes to a cabinet in his glass-enclosed office, takes out a phone in full view of everyone, which if they happened to be looking at him after he acted so strangely, they would have seen… but of course no one sees it.

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Steve calls Adrian in a panic, and asks Adrian for help getting out of there. All Adrian wants is the override the device. Steve just has to figure out a way to get it out of there.

COMMERCIAL

7:44 pm – Jack is having a good time flying the helicopter, while Erik and Kate have a much less good time identifying Jordan’s body. Using their powers of deduction, the policeman, Kate and Erik decide Jordan and unidentified guy killed each other. They’re pretty sure because of all the bullet holes, blood and wrench impressions in heads. Kate asks for Erik’s phone because he has a fingerprint-checking app on it, and she wants to know who the heck this unidentified guy is.

Chloe steps outside of the bar and receives a call from Jack. Jack wants her to look at the override device, but she refuses, and tells Jack goodbye. A car drives up, and proving that too much black makeup can do bad things to your brain, she gets in with Adrian, who thanks her for giving him a second chance.

7:46 pm – At make-shift CIA headquarters, Jack arrives with the device. Steve nervously looks on while the device is taken to a different room. Jack learns of Jordan’s death and thinks this is really weird, even for 24. Jack calls Kate who sends Jack the fingerprint scan. Steve feebly tries to dissuade Jack from sending the fingerprints to someone who can figure out who the dead body used to be, but Jack isn’t buying it. Steve looks REALLY nervous.

COMMERCIAL

7:53 pm – Jack talks to his contact back in Washington, who still hasn’t figured out who the guy is. He’s even searching Facebook and Twitter. He says he’ll call Jack as soon as he knows who the guy is.

The analyst who’s been looking at the device is so good that he doesn’t even have to touch the thing to realize it can break into any defense system, and it isn’t just for drones. Jack wonders if that was really the case, why didn’t Margot use it to control nuclear weapons. He’s about to say something about that when he gets a phone call from Audrey. Jack leaves Steve alone with the analyst. Audrey wants to talk about how grateful she is that her crying cat collection is safe. Oh, and she’s happy about her dad too. Jack receives a life-saving phone call, and is able to hang up on Audrey, because it’s his contact back in Washington. He goes off to take the call and hangs up on her.

Steve, meanwhile, decides to give the analyst a very unwanted hug around the throat, making him pass out. No one notices this, even though there are windows all around. Steve takes the device.

Jack’s contact tells Jack that the dead guy is really working for Steve Navarro. Jack goes after him.

Steve leaves the building and Jack follows. Steve very stupidly starts shooting at Jack, and we know it’s serious because they start using colored green lights everywhere while they chase each other. Steve’s a remarkably good runner for someone in dress shoes, and he outruns Jack.

Elsewhere, Chloe gets out of Adrian’s car at a gas station, probably to go to the little developer’s room. Adrian takes the opportunity to call Steve, who wants to know what Adrian wants to do with the secret “control any defense system” device. They plan to meet at a place nearby.

Chloe gets back into the car and KISSES ADRIAN. Thousands of heads of “24” fans all over the country explode. Adrian and Chloe drive off.

TIME’S UP!

NEXT TIME ON “24”! SHOOTING! ADRIAN HAS THE DEVICE! NUCLEAR SUBS! LAUNCHING MISSLES! CHLOE IS SEEING THE DOWNSIDE OF BEING ADRIAN’S GIRLFRIEND! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

24: Live Another Day – Hour 8 Recap

PREVIOUSLY ON “24”: Margot and Ian tried to use a drone to deliver something to Simone; Jack’s quick driving makes things explode behind him; Jordan learned being out in the field is a little tougher than it sounds; Mark wants to deliver Jack to the Russians; The President made a decision – but we’re not sure he remembers what the decision was.

The following takes place between 6pm and 7pm –

6pm – Hodor! Hodor, Hodor…. Hodor! …..Whoops. Sorry. That was last night.

6pm – Simone is a GREAT sleeper, because she slept all the way to the make-shift CIA headquarters, which just happens to have an operating room. They’re really prepared at the CIA. Just to check to see if she’s faking, they say they’re going to drill a hole in her head. She doesn’t budge.

Margot and Ian are packing an entire house in a van. Margot tells a very surprised Ian that President Heller might actually meet her demands, which include a pack of Jelly Babies, which she’s not been able to find anywhere in England.

At the US Embassy, Jack is sitting is either sitting in a big boy chair, or people in England are HUGE. He gets a phone call. It’s Kate. She tells him that Simone is going to be induced. Jack says he didn’t even know Simone was pregnant. Kate says she meant induce a coma. Jack says that she’s been in England too long, and it’s pronounced “comma”, and besides, he wants to make sure Simone wakes up, even if it kills her. He hangs up and gets a disapproving stare from Mr. Judgmental Secret Service Agent.

At CIA, Steve calls his “cleaner”, using a phone from his cabinet of Mole Phones. The cleaner is terrible at cleaning. Also at shooting, because Jordan is still alive. Steve is worried that Jordan might figure out that the people shooting at him want him dead.

The cleaner goes on a really intensive search, standing in place, and notices that Jordan left a blood trail. Jordan limps along, while holding his shoulder, which is what you do when your legs are OK, but your shoulder is shot. He checks his phone, and immediately regrets not buying the “in case you get shot” app.

Heller calls Jack into the room to meet with him, just to waste Jack’s time which would be better spent thigh shooting. Heller tells Jack that he’s going to ask him to do something he doesn’t want to do. Jack says it’s too late, he’s already agreed to be on another season of “24”. Heller tells him, “No, not that, I mean something else”. He explains that he spoke to Margot, and that he’s going to let Margot kill him at Wembley stadium. Heller doesn’t seem to see the problem with this.

Heller shows him a TV guide, and tells Jack it’s actually a resignation letter, effective in an hour. Jack doesn’t like this one bit, because he’s always been upset every time other presidents have died when he was nearby. Like President All State. But not President Manilow. Jack dons his Jack Pack and starts to leave, but stops when Heller admits he has Alzheimer’s. Heller starts yelling at Jack that it’s the only way to stop Margot from killing again. He’s pretty darn sure that a terrorist like that would keep her word, because he has no evidence that she would keep her word, which logically means she could probably almost sorta in a very likely way not not not keep her word. He thinks. Jack tries a Jack Stare but it doesn’t work.

Heller tells Jack, “If you were standing here in my shoes in my exact same position, you’d do the same thing.” Jack says, “If I were in your shoes in your exact same position, it would have been because of a transporter accident, and we both know that can’t happen.” Jack agrees to take Heller to Wembley stadium, but he’ll need another person to help, because if Audrey even sniffs that’s something up, she’ll start howling, and nobody wants that.

COMMERCIAL

6:13 pm – The best person that Heller can find is Mark, which must mean that there is no one else in the building. Heller convinces Mark to go along with this by suggesting that the VP will hire Mark… all he has to do is convince the VP that the whole “allowing the President to die” is something that would never in a bajillion years happen again. Mark seems a little worried because up until now, no one has seen the VP, and the VP might be a figment of Heller’s imagination.

Jack calls Kate. She tells him that Simone hasn’t woken up. This upsets Jack, who tells Kate that she should have pushed the doctor. Kate responds that the doctor isn’t a Weeble, and even the doctor was a Weeble, he’d pop right back up and say that Simone would be in grave danger. Jack reminds her that lots of people will be in graves if they don’t do something right away. Jack tells Heller’s plan and then uses a bad word, which convinces Kate.

Kate goes in and tries to convince the doctor to wake Simone up. When asking nicely doesn’t work, she switches to Bauer mode and pulls a gun on the doctor, who asks “Who do you think you are?” Kate rolls her eyes and asks him if everyone is getting Alzheimer’s around here. He comes to his senses and gives Simone the medical wake-up juice that ever doctor has on hand.

Simone wakes up. Kate tells Simone about how Margot is really bad person, and that she’d like to blow up a bunch of people, which doesn’t convince her until Kate reminds her of those giant explosions with Simone’s name written all over them. Simone finally gives Kate an address, but says that Margot won’t be there, and she has no idea where she could be. Kate asks if there’s anything else Simone can give her. Simone looks like she’d like to give Kate a lap full of barf, but instead tells her about the CD under the floorboards, and oh, by the way, she’ll have a heart attack. Which she does, since she knows the doctors are nearby and have nothing else to do at the moment. Kate’s so moved by this that she calls to have a team meet her at Margot’s house.

At the Embassy, Jack is shocked that Heller’s go-to guy is Mark. Heller tells them both that time, like Jack, is short, and they should work out a plan. He leaves.

6:18 pm – Mark asks what he can do to help Jack, and Jack gives him all kinds of information, which Mark somehow remembers. He says he’ll incapacitate everyone by holding a full building staff meeting, which should put everyone to sleep.

Kate calls, and tells Jack the information about the disk that Simone gave her. Jack tells her to upload it to Chloe when they find it. Kate tells him that she’ll upload it to Chloe’s computer instead, because despite being Chloe, she probably can’t have information directly uploaded to her yet.

Heller wanders down the hall, and enters a room where Audrey is busily banging a way at a keyboard. Bob Newhart is in the corner observing her progress: “To be or not to be, that is the gazorninblat…”.

Audrey notices Heller walk into the room. Heller asks to see a picture of Audrey, her mother, and himself at the beach, and notices a statue of liberty in the background of the picture. He looks at Audrey as she returns to what she was doing and realizes that statue explains a lot of things about Audrey.

COMMERCIAL

6:25 pm – Mark gives Jack some information about the Secret Service detail. Mark tells him that he’s going to have that meeting in a few minutes, and just to be sure everyone will be occupied, he’s going to have them fill out TPS reports.

Steve gets a phone call from Jordan! Jordan is really upset about this whole “getting shot at” thing, and doesn’t like field work ONE BIT. He wants to come out of the pool, RIGHT NOW. Jordan tells him exactly where he is, which is in a police box outside of a motorcycle shop. Jordan doesn’t realize it’s actually a phone booth, because if it were a police box, he’d be dodging Daleks by now. Jordan hangs up, and Steve immediately calls the cleaner to take Jordan out to the cleaners.

Back at the embassy, Jack does some surgery on the President to remove his secret decoder chip. As a reward, Heller gets a SpongeBob bandaid.
Heller dons a clever disguise so that no one will recognize him while they walk through the building: a HAT! I can’t even recognize him.

6:28 pm – Jack and the President walk through the hallway, having no issues as they walk through until they get to the fire exit. Heller points out that they’re not on fire, so they probably can’t exit that way. A Secret Service agent interrupts them, and Heller gets a first hand look at Jack using his first hand to knock the Secret Service agent out in one punch. They exit to the street, where Heller blends right in with all the other people in London that wear baseball caps.

COMMERCIAL

6:37 pm – Jack gets to a helicopter, and Heller immediately blows their cover by telling the guy who got the helicopter there who he is. Jack starts the helicopter, and plays classical music out the loudspeakers to throw everyone off the trail.

The cleaner doesn’t follow the directions that Steve gave him very well, because he can’t tell where the heck Jordan is. It turns out that Jordan is right behind him, and cleans the Cleaner of his weapons. Jordan tells him that he knows Steve is behind this whole thing, but he just wants to know: Is it because of that time he wasn’t asked out to lunch along with everyone else? The Cleaner tries to use the old “Hey, is the safety on or off” on Steve, which surprisingly, works. The cleaner pulls a little, tiny, but sharp knife out of the back of his head and attacks Jordan. They get into a hand-to-hand struggle, just as the phone rings. This distracts them both. Jordan gets knifed, and the Cleaner gets gunned. The Cleaner is dead. Jordan looks like he really regrets going into the field.

6:41 pm – Up in the helicopter, Jack’s switched from classical music to weird mood music.

At the Al-Harazi house, a bunch of guys that are completely invisible under the cover of darkness give themselves away by putting lights at the end of their guns. The guys pull up the floor boards, and obviously aren’t computer guys, because they THINK, that POSSIBLY the hard drive they just found hiding under there might be the computer drive they’ve been looking for. Kate keeps them busy by telling them to look for more, just in case. Meanwhile, one of the guys uploads the drive to make-shift CIA headquarters. And boy, has the wireless internet speed gotten a lot faster in the last hour, because that whole hard drive uploads in no time flat.

Kate looks for Jordan, and that creepy guy from last episode tells her he’s not sure where the heck Jordan is. Jordan’s been gone for about an hour, and he hasn’t had anyone to stalk for all that time. Kate has him send the drive data to Chloe, which probably got uploaded before you read the end of this sentence.

Kate goes to talk to Steve, who can’t possibly figure out where Jordan might be, but he’s darned sure that he should be at his workstation. She tells Steve that Margot got a 30 minute head start, which means they could be in a 500 square mile radius of the house by now, because people in England drive faster than a NASCAR racers.

Margot and Ian are finishing setting up in a non-descript building, which looks like the back of another building we’ve already seen, except it’s at night. Ian and Margot argue about whether or not they should use the rest of the drones, but Margot insists that a Stark always pays her debts. Ian tries to point out that it’s Lannisters, and that it’s not even the same show. Margot then insists that they’ll be all Even-Steven when Heller dies.

Outside of Wembley stadium, Jack announces they’re outside of Wembley stadium. London has remarkably lax airspace laws, so no one bothers them at all.

Chloe calls Jack as they land. Chloe’s using the data from the drive to hack into the drone system from a bar. She hasn’t had a drink, so it’s making it tougher. Jack tells her to do the best she can. But figure out the drone thing first, and then get a beer. Heller and Jack go into the stadium, which just happens to have all the lights turned on, and is wide open.

COMMERCIAL

6:51pm – Adrian calls Steve to confirm Jordan is dead, and Steve pinky swears he is.

Adrian then calls Chloe, and says that he has a snug little spot where they can deliver state secrets over the internet just like old times. Chloe says she’s a little busy and can’t help right now and hangs up on him. She never stops typing.

Back at the Embassy, Mark is surprised that he’s looking for Audrey. But he is. A nearby Secret Service agent points at the door and warns Mark that Audrey is in there, but he goes in anyway.

Someone taught Audrey how to read! She’s really freaked out because she knows what Heller is going to do. Mark picks that time not to say anything at the wrong time, and Audrey goes into meltdown mode when she realizes Mark knew the whole time. Mark insists that they keep this quiet, because it’s what Heller wanted to do. Audrey tries to cry some more, but can’t remember how.

6:55pm – Heller tells Jack that he gave him a pardon, so he can go back to the US any time he wants. Jack is about to point out that people might not believe Heller is in his right mind, going out to get blown up in a completely unguarded stadium. Chloe calls. She insists on describing how hard it is to decode all the data she’s seeing, as Jack watches Heller walk out in to the middle of the soccer field. He takes off his disguise hat. And his glasses. Just to be sure he’s recognized.

Margot and Ian watch on the drone cam, and realize Heller is really there. Margot insists on pulling the trigger on the drone missile, even though she’s never played this game before, and fires the missile. Heller explodes. Soon, every soccer fan in England will be after Margot and Ian when they realize what happened to their stadium.

TIME’S UP!

NEXT TIME ON 24: DEAD PRESIDENT! MISSILES! DONES! THROWING PEOPLE OUT OF BUILDINGS! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

24: Live Another Day – Hour 7 Recap

24
PREVIOUSLY ON 24: Steve talked to his hat after he nearly exploded; Jack asked permission to take Kate out so they can go thigh shooting together; Jack then asked Kate to hang out with some of the friends he’s been around recently, but she misunderstood what “hang out” meant; Navid’s perfectly good cell phone was almost thrown away along with his body bag; The Prime Minister proved he has American instincts when it comes to trusting Jack; Rask misunderstood Kate’s request to be drilled on questions for an upcoming CIA test; Rask was so upset by this he pulled the pin on a grenade and exploded into a thousand pieces of confetti; Simone’s sister-in-law didn’t get the point, until she got the point; Simone looked like she got hit by a bus; Steve turned out to be a mole, and while I have this opportunity, I should remind people not all people named Steve are moles.

The following takes place between 5pm and 6pm:

5:00 pm – Simone is in the street being treated for her wounds after getting hit by a bus, so naturally the police continue to ride horses around right on top of her. Simone’s niece identifies her as the killer of her Mom.

Across town, Kate loses count of all the bodies they’re already taking out of the factory they just had a shoot out in, so she’s not sure who’s ahead on the scoreboard, but we think it’s Jack. Jack notices that his friend Belacheck is one of the people NOT killed during the raid, and releases him back into the wild, much to the chagrin of the MI-5 agent in charge. Chloe calls Jack to tell her the results of her “Where’s Simone” game, which turned out to be pretty easy because Simone was the only one wearing a red and white striped knit hat and matching sweater. Also, the only one that got hit by a bus.

While Chloe is on the phone, Chloe’s computer, which is always looking out for her, prints a “GET OUT OF THERE!” message. It’s clearly the computer used to win the Turing contest. She sees the police coming into the building, and gets the heck out of there, while Jack and Kate also get the heck out of where they are.

Back at the President’s office, Mark explains that a message he’s just given the president is coordinates for Margot. The President wants to know if they can trace the video stream back to her, and Mark points out that a piece of paper doesn’t have a video stream, since it is just a piece of paper.

Jack calls the President and tells him about Simone. Jack thinks Margot hasn’t figured out that Simone has been hit by a bus yet, which is a pretty good bet since Margot (for the time being) doesn’t have superpowers to allow her to find that out. The President, under the impression he can do whatever he wants in whatever country he’s in, says he’ll send someone to the hospital to guard Simone. Jack also complains that MI-5 was there, which really put a kink in his thigh shooting, since he couldn’t just shoot everyone in sight. The president says he’ll take care of that, and conveniently the Prime Minister arrives.

The Prime Minister and the President have a yelling match, complete with spit flying out of each others mouths, which is frankly yucky. The Prime Minister pulls out the “hey, tell me about your health” card. Heller says, “If you have a question about my health, you should have come and asked.” This confuses the Prime Minister since he JUST ASKED THAT. The President is really upset by this, enough to say that he’d resign from trying to sell gold to people, if that’s what it took.

The President goes on to explain that Jack has a line on Margot, but more like an idea of how to get to her, rather than something with Cartesian Coordinates. The Prime Minister promises he’ll do everything he can to help Jack.

Meanwhile, on the ambulance, the paramedics talk about all the various injuries Simone has, trying to make each other barf. They even get to the chopped off finger, but neither of them even come close to hurling. Just then, her phone rings! It’s Margot, calling from the House of Don’t Send Your Daughter Out To Kill Her Sister-In-Law Because She’ll Screw It Up. The paramedic explains that Simone challenged a bus to a fight, and lost. Margot says she’ll go to the hospital right away, and hangs up… just as the paramedic asks her name. For some reason, Simone has the only smart phone on earth that doesn’t display caller ID.

Margot, clearly upset that Simone is on her way to the hospital, tells her son, Ian, to send Karem to the hospital to see if anyone knows who Simone is. Ian looks worried that Margot may be catching Heller’s forgetfulness, but makes the call.

COMMERCIAL

5:15pm – At CIA HQ in London, Jordan is playing the ASCII game “Find the Missing Pieces” on the data file that Steve the Mole told him not to look at. He’s interrupted by a creepy guy named Gavin who stalked up behind him, to ask for some “files”.

Steve gets a phone call from “Unknown” which, in every single movie that’s ever happened, is not a good thing. Of course, Steve picks it up. It turns out it’s Husky Voice, who tells him Jordan is decrypting the files using a very recent version of Norton Utilities, so Steve better hurry before Jordan figures out the whole “Mole” thing. Husky Voice turns out to be Adrian! And Adrian really wants Steve to do something about Jordan right away.

At the hospital, Jack runs in with Kate and yells “Are you in charge?” The Agent there says no, her name is not “In Charge”, it’s Helen.

5:17pm – Helen explains that Simone can’t do much talking, being unconscious and all. Kate goes downstairs to talk to Simone’s niece, who they mistakenly name “In Shock”.

The doctor comes out and tells Jack that he won’t be able to talk to Simone, until Jack uses Jack Voice to explain that he will be able to speak with Simone and this is exactly the droid he’s looking for.

Karem shows up at the hospital, and doesn’t look the least bit suspicious looking all over the place, while he searches for a place to steal a hospital outfit.

Kate finds Jasmine, Simone’s niece, and offers her a butter beer. Jasmine explains everything that happened at her house, and sounds completely normal until she gets a sinister sound in her voice when she says that she hopes Simone dies. Kate relays this information to Jack, and tells him that since Simone was trying to warn her sister-in-law to get out of the city, there’s a good chance she could turn on her mother.

And what do you know, Karem is already finished changing clothes and just happens to overhear this whole thing. Margot gets crazy eyes when Karem tells her that Simone was trying to warn them to get out of London. She tells Ian to move a drone within range of the hospital. Ian thinking about pointing out that it’s more of a fly the drone thing, not move, but thinks better of it, when Margot tells him that Simone is not about to betray her again.

COMMERCIAL

While watching The Prime Minister Channel, Jordan gets called into Steve’s office to “pick up a package” at a houseboat. Jordan thinks this a little weird since he’s not technically a “field op” but more of a “sys op”. He’s pretty excited though, since anything would beat having Gavin sneak up on him again, so he thanks Steve and goes out into the field. He quickly returns and says he’ll head to the houseboat instead of the field, because fields don’t usually have boats in them.

At Mark’s office, he and Audrey watch The Prime Minister Channel too. We see that it has the caption “The Prime Minister Speaks”, which is apparently a new thing, so new that they have to point that out in a caption. The President enters the room and tells him that he faked his way through the whole “health” thing with the Prime Minister. He tells Audrey that it was “Arrogant, vain and stupid” to think that he could remain in office, while simultaneously pointing out that “Arrogant, vain and stupid” is Audrey’s nickname.

The President tells Mark to get the Vice President up to speed on turning over the presidency, which upsets Mark because he’s clearly been sucking up to the wrong person for a long time now.

At the Hospital, Jack looks at Simone’s chopped off finger and is clearly impressed by the blood clotting capabilities of her body. Kate entries the room as Jack wakes Simone. He asks if, since she tried to warn her sister-in-law about the London bombing, it’d just be darn swell if she would help him find Margot.

Simone doesn’t like this at all. Seems her attachment to her finger, or lack thereof, hasn’t made any difference, and she says she won’t betray Margot. Jack presses on what’s left of her finger, and asks if that’s the little finger that went “weeeeee! All the way home”. Simone says that her mother would never hurt her, it was only a flesh wound, and passes out. Kate goes out in the hallway to barf. She appears to be more upset that Jack pressed on the finger, than all the terrorists they shot less than an hour ago.

Out in the hallway, Jack immediately recognizes that a guy in the hallway, who happens to be Karem, shouldn’t be there. Helen, who is talking to a police officer, tries to get Karem to stop right there. Karem shoots! It must have been a heck of a shot too, because the police officer that Helen was just talking to completely disappears! Karem fires a few more times and runs!

Jack and Kate give a short chase, catch up to Karem just as two officers fire on him twice, killing him. Jack’s sure he’s dead because instead of just two bullet wounds, there are three, two in the chest and one in the arm and a gun by his elbow. The gun by the elbow is clearly physically impossible, unless Karem was one of those elbow sharpshooters. Jack finds Karem’s phone, and Margot has posted on Karem’s Facebook page that he has a very short time to get out of the hospital.

Jack uses his Jack Voice to tell Helen to clear the hospital because it’s about to be blown up. Kate runs off to the bathroom. Or maybe to get Jasmine. Maybe both.

COMMERCIAL

5:40 pm – Chloe’s at a place where anyone in their right mind, knowing what was about to happen, would go: a pub.

Back at Margot’s House of No Betrayals Allowed, Ian loves the fact that he spent all the time he did on Air Flight Simulator, because it makes this drone thing a LOT easier to fly. Which is a good thing, seeing how touchy Margot is being today.

At the Hospital, Jack races through while on the phone with Chloe. He runs into Simone’s room and tells her that Margot is about to blow up the place. Simone swears her Mom would never, ever do such a thing. Jack says, “Fine, you believe that? Stay here.” He drops her right there and walks off. Simone says, “Wait… by ‘never do such a thing’, I meant ‘of course she would do such a thing'”. Jack grabs her and gets her moving again.

Kate races through the hospital and can’t find Jasmine where she left her. This surprises Kate, because, for some reason, she expected a little girl to hear sirens and people evacuating the hospital to be right where she was before. Because only a really stupid kid wouldn’t leave. Well, it turns out Jasmine is a really stupid kid, because she’s just about where Kate left her. Kate grabs Jasmine and leaves.

Back at Margot’s House of the Incredible Drone Flying Gizmo, Ian is really excited to try out some of the new features in the program he’s been playing.

The hospital continues to be evacuated, while Margot and Ian launch a missile which hits the hospital. It turns out that Ian is REALLY good at the simulator. So good, in fact, that he and Margot get an image of Simone, Jack and Kate getting into Jack’s car, even though the image is in reverse black and white. This can easily be explained away by the reverse black and white images of her children that Margot has hanging up in her house.

Anyway, Margot tells Ian to fire a missile. Good thing it was one of those discount missiles without a homing mechanism too, because Jack’s car is able to get out of the way of the missile just at the last second. The explosions pretty much convince Simone that her mom is a little bit ticked off. Well, that and the horrific devastation that the missile just caused to everyone at the hospital.

Jack’s not sure where the drone is, so he drives like a maniac, which is to say, like an American driver, through the streets of London. Ian fires, but misses. It’s not a completely loss though, because it takes out a blood pudding factory, which is really gross anyway. The whole building explodes.

Jack turns the corner, right into a traffic jam. He tries to back up, and when he can’t, he does what anyone else would do: He gets out of his car, belts someone in the face, and takes off in THEIR car. Kate brings Simone along. They jump into this new car, and get away. Ian misses his opportunity because he’s more interested in narrating what he’s doing, instead of just doing it and firing the missile.

Jack drives to a tunnel. He jumps out of the car and tells Kate they need to get another car, which happens to drive by just at that moment. Jack orders the guy driving out of his car, which he does. Then Jack goes to a homeless guy, takes the guy’s favorite brick, tells the guy not to move, and uses the brick to press the gas on the first car they were driving. The car speeds out of the tunnel, and Ian takes the shot. The missile hit the car and it explodes. So does the car. The homeless guy is a little ticked off that 1) Jack didn’t even tell him to duck, and 2) that was his favorite brick.

Ian is really happy that the car exploded, and asks Margot how many points that was worth, because the score wasn’t coming up on the screen. These drones have very good cameras, because Margot notices that the car was empty.

As they drive away, Kate mentions that Simone is in rough shape. It was probably the black eyes, the cuts on her cheek and missing finger that tipped her off.

COMMERCIAL

5:52pm – Jordan is still on his way to the house boat, which is named Sophie. The doors, are strangely locked, which throws Jordan off. Then he’s hit in the arm by a bullet, which really throws him off… the boat. The guy who shot Jordan looks for him but doesn’t see a body.

Meanwhile, Mark meets up with the Russian Deputy Minister. The Minister wants “The Criminal Jack Bauer”. Mark tries to explain that Jack can’t really be turned over at the moment, because he’s busy saving the day. And besides his name is currently “The Hero Jack Bauer”. The Minister knows the real truth about the extradition papers though, and tells Mark he’s pretty sure that Heller never signed any papers to turn over Jack. He’s also aware of Jack’s previous relationship with Mark’s wife, Audrey. Then Mark says something we ALL wish would have happened to this season of 24: “Leave my wife out of this”.

Mark explains that he just can’t run out and get Jack to turn himself over. The Russian basically repeats this, and just can’t believe it. Mark says that he’ll turn Jack over as soon as Jack saves the day.

The President watches the report of the hospital attack and calls Jack. He wants to see Jack at his office ASAP, even though Jack is out in the field trying everything he can to save the day. Jack tells Kate that they’re going to a place to try and save Simone long enough to get her to talk, and that he has to go to talk to the president. They might actually slow down the car for one or both of these events.

A minion brings the President a paper on Margot with her channel information. It’s in cartoons so he can understand it. The minion drops off The President’s “good jacket”

5:57 pm – Jordan crawls out of the river! It’s a yucky river too.

The President calls Margot, and they talk pleasantly to each other. He asks Margot if he can trust her! He’s clearly insane. Margot says he can trust her to end this. He says he’s already made his decision about turning himself over.

TIME’S UP!

NEXT TIME ON 24 – SIMONE ISN’T GOOD! GUNS ON DOCTORS! THE PRESIDENT WANTS TO GO WATCH TENNIS! MISSILES! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

24: Live Another Day – Hour 6 Recap

Previously on “24” – Everyone ignored Jack’s warning, again; Simone really didn’t have Navid’s back; Audrey spoke in tongues to Jack, and tried to poke out his eye with her nose; I couldn’t tell whether that guy was named Navid or Navin; The Margot Channel is a new cable station in London; Downton Abbey exploded.

The following takes place between 4pm and 5pm:

4pm – Steve and Erik are explosive proof! President Heller is surprised that the bombing of Downton Abbey is an ambush! What a surprise. The Prime Minister is pretty upset about the bombs, but a little more upset that the President seems to be repeating himself.

On the way out, an assistant tells the Prime Minister that Heller might be getting a wee bit forgetful.

Heller meets with Jack. He tells Jack that Margot has commandeered a whole bunch of the drones, and intends to use them. He’d like to know if Jack’s “special friend” will help them, or if he’s imaginary, the way all the little people dancing in the room with them are “imaginary”. Jack says this guy is the only chance they’ve got, but he can’t be bought. Not even at a discount.

Outside at the bombed out site, Steve (no relation) is still a little woozy, and is talking to his hat. He recovers, and begins talking to the camera that’s on his hat, which is linked back to the CIA make-shift headquarters where Jordan is listening.

Heller calls Steve, and tells him that Jack is going to operate in the dark. No light bulbs or anything. It might scare the patient, but it will be completely worth it to see the look on their face after the surgery. They convince Jack that it would probably be a good idea to go out into the field instead. Heller says they should give Jack whatever he needs, plus silence, which means no Audrey. Jack says that he’ll need an unmarked car, a clean phone, field interrogation kit, a weapons package, and Kate. Mostly the guns.

Jordan tells Kate that she’s back in the field, with Jack! Jordan’s worried that Kate won’t have any backup, but forgets that Jack IS the back up.

Back at the House of Margot’s TV Station, Ian is taking a flight with the drones that looks a lot like a scene from the Neverending Story. Then he makes a serious mistake by telling Margot he’s worried about Simone, forgetting the last person that was worried about Simone is dead. Margot slaps him for it.

Upstairs, Simone just keeps staring at Navid. So much so that it creeps everyone out and they wrap Navid up in a tarp. And as it turns out, Navid gets a phone call. Seeing as he’s being in-disposed (ha! A pun!) right now, they decide to get it. They were going to throw out a perfectly good phone! Oh, and Navid’s sister is expecting a pick up at the airport, so they can get out of there.

Margot doesn’t like this one little bit, and tells Simone that she should go find out what Navid’s sister knows about The Operation. Margot really wants to know how to get that wrench without touching the sides.

COMMERCIAL

4:14 pm – Jack gets ready for a thigh shooting, when Mark comes into the room to give Jack something from the CIA. He picks this time to try and talk to Jack about Audrey, which is pretty impeccable timing. Jack tells him that if he makes it through today, it’s unlikely we’ll ever see Jack again, but the money was good so he’s on the show. But as he leaves, Jack tells Mark that Audrey thinks he’s a good man.

Jack calls Chloe and asks to be put on speaker with Belcheck. She seems to be having trouble because they immediately cut to…

…a briefing of the Prime Minster with the RAF. The Prime Minister has a knock down drag out argument with him, which consists of very polite conversation.

Heller calls the PM, and the PM points out that Jack is a wanted man, a major actor, and he shoots thighs a lot. The PM also says that if Heller is wrong, it’s England that will suffer if Jack is wrong. Heller points out that the US suffered even when Jack was right, but not nearly as much as if he’d not been there in the first place. He asks the Prime Minster not to deploy troops until the next episode. They hang up, and the PM decides to have MI-5 follow Jack.

Jack and Kate meet outside, just to prove they’re in London. Jack wants to know why she’s been told to leave London, and we’re reminded…AGAIN…that Kate’s husband is a bad, bad guy. Just in case we didn’t hear it during every one of the last few weeks. Jack tells her his plan: Shoot some thighs, do a little stunt, and get down tonight. And get Margot via Karl Rask. Kate asks how Jack knows him, and it turns out that during his down time for the last few years, Jack has been working for Karl, doing some thigh shooting. Jack points out that this might not go all that well, because Rask, just like just about everyone else around, would probably like to shoot Jack.

Chloe calls and uploads everything she has on Rask to Jack, and tells him she’ll infect his phone with Windows ME so they can trace him.

Mark finds Audrey at her desk where she’s busy with crayons. Mark asks about Jack, and Audrey says that wasn’t necessary because she’s less crazy than she used to be. Mark gets a phone call. The caller says he’s from the Moscow Papa John’s, which is code for the Russian Foreign Ministry. He leaves.

Mark tells him that Jack extradition order has been rescinded, which makes the minster upset enough to say that he won’t be delivering the pizza after all. He also asks very cryptically if there’s a reason Heller shouldn’t want to talk to Moscow. Mark points out that the last time Heller was in Moscow he did talk, but does NOT point out that Heller was actually trying to talk directly to the city itself. Mark suggested they meet privately later, in another episode.

Jack explains that he’s been acting freelance in cleaning up bad guys, and that we missed at least two days where he took out some bad guys, and they would have made great seasons of 24. Jack goes on to explain that the only way he can think of to convince Rask to go along with anything is to have Kate act as a hostage. And, oh, she’ll have to be drugged when brought in there. Kate looks as if she’s not to sure about this. Jack tries to reassure her that there’s a pretty good chance they’ll both end up dead. So, in that case, of course Kate says she’ll go along with the plan and injects herself! Good thing that wasn’t the poison vial.

COMMERCIAL
4:29 pm – At CIA make-shift headquarters, Steve gets back from the field and Jordan points out that the plot point they keep talking about over and over and over has a new twist! The hard drive that some evidence is on has something wrong with it. Steve says that they don’t have time to screw around with it. He seems worried about his browser history.

Out on the street, Simone meets Navid’s sister, who seems super suspicious about Navid’s last message, and the fact that Simone looks really weird in a head scarf. Just then, Navid’s sister’s daughter comes out of the store, which is supposed to look like a school, but doesn’t.

At the Prime Minster’s headquarters, his assistants show how badly their television coverage of London is by showing a crayon drawing video of Jack putting Kate in the truck of the car. The PM points out that this might be some kind of weird American dating ritual, but then tells his assistants they should go get their Legos and assemble a team: They’re going after Jack!

At what appears to be an abandoned garage where Rask is hiding, Jack is fortunate enough that that A) they’re still there and B) they haven’t changed the security code. Jack punches up the code, drives in and promptly gets shot at. They get him out of the car, and he gets kicked a few times. Jack says he even has a CIA Christmas present, and convinces them that he’s telling the “truth”. One unexpected twist: They have some drugs that’ll wake Kate up, which is not according to plan.

What do the thugs do? They drag Kate out of the back, take off her shoes and socks, and shoot her up with the serum, because serum works better with your shoes and socks off.

On a nearby roof, Jack’s Checz buddy is watching through the only available scope, which is attached to a gun.

Commercial

4:39pm – Simone calls Margot’s House of Slapping, and tells Margot that Navid’s sister doesn’t know squat. Margot tells Simone she has two loose ends to take care of. Simone agrees while watching her scarf… and then she realizes she’s talking about Navid’s sister and daughter.

A thug tells Kate “Wakey-Wakey, Lemon-Shakey”, which doesn’t work until they chain her up. But she doesn’t talk.

Thug number two brings out a lot of evil-looking torture stuff, and cuts her leg, which will mean she will not be able to return those pants before she leaves London. Thug 1 throws water all over her, and electric shocks her!

Chloe tells Jack that Rask just needs log into his account, and that they’ll all be good.

Rask is a little suspicious of Jack. He says that if Jack opened an account, he must of dealt with Metzker and gotten a free toaster for opening the account. Rask just wants to know that brand of the toaster. Failing that, he wants Metzker’s first name.

Chloe does a quick Google search and can’t find the name. Jack takes a chance, and says there’s no Metzker at the bank. Rask nearly shoots him, but then admits that Metzker doesn’t exist! Jack hands over the login codes.

Meanwhile, Kate is going to get drilled for information, with a real drill. Belcheck gets nervous, wants to save her and just as he’s about to pull the trigger, a soldier comes up from behind and knocks him out! It’s MI-5, which for Kate, Jack and Chloe is very bad timing. But mostly bad for Kate.

Commercial

4:51pm – MI-5 goes jogging on a roof. Meanwhile Rask gets connected and uses his thumbprint to log in.

Kate lies and tells Thug 1 and Thug 2 that she knows this great Indian place to go eat, which stalls them for a minute.

Rask enters everything but the enter key, when MI-5 finishes their jog and crashes the party. All they need to do is hit the enter key!

Thug 1 and Thug 2 hear the commotion, and Thug 1 leaves. Kate takes this opportunity to do a double behind the back double leg strangle on Thug 2, which she got top honors in at CIA school. A knife drops to the floor as they both hit the ground. Kate is able to grab it with her hand still behind her back, and stabs Thug 2. The nearby judges award straight 10’s for style.

Meanwhile, MI-5 is shooting at anything that moves. This proves good for Jack because one of the things that was moving is a guy with a gun. Except he’s not moving anymore, right next to Jack. Jack grabs his gun, hits the “enter” key, and blows something up in one swoop.

Kate, not to be outdone, unties herself, dives across the floor and shoots a bad guy who looks like he’s never shot a machine gun before.

Jack catches up with Rask, and orders him to the ground, which surprises Rask quite a bit. The MI-5 troops come in. Jack announces to everyone that he’s really undercover for the President of the United States. Of America. Over in America. They take this at face value. Rask, seeing an opportunity, grabs a grenade from one of the soldiers, pulls the pin, and holds it against himself! He blows up…and what do you know, he’s made out of paper, because that’s all we see explode.

Chloe asks Jack how he’s doing, and he’s OK, just because he was only just almost blown up. They find a number on Rask’s bank account they can use to trace a phone, which Chloe starts to do.

Back at Navid’s sister’s place, Simone looks nervous about this whole “killing” thing, and finally just tells the sister to leave. The sister makes the wrong move and tries to call the police. Simone “accidentally” kills the sister, which the young daughter witnesses. The daughter escapes, runs through traffic. It’s been a while since Simone’s done that, and in an attempt to catch a bus, she catches a bus incorrectly.

At CIA headquarters in London, Steve (REALLY no relation…REALLY) calls a mysteriously disguised voice, and tells the voice that Jordan has found the missing sectors. The voice tells Steve that they better not recover those files.

Time’s up!

NEXT TIME ON 24 – Jack at the hospital! Simone’s not dead! A doctor at the hospital uses guns for surgery! Jack dodges missiles!

SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

24: Live Another Day – Hour 5 recap

24

Previously on 24 – Heller gave a speech to the Parliament, which we were thankfully not present for, because it might have turned us comatose; Embassies still make air ducts that are easy to get into and human-sized; Audrey – AAH! (Sorry, should have warned you); Chloe was frustrated by cable bandwidth uploads; Navid was convinced to fly the drones after Simone gave her mother the finger; Kate sat on Jack to save him from the Marines, which we’ve heard is a well-known CIA move.

The following takes place between 3pm and 4pm

3:00 pm – Cardaro has a complete hissy fit in front of Kate about not being able to shoot Jack like he wanted. Jack’s “in custody”, which for Jack means he’s just waiting to beat them up. The marines can’t find the flight key, and for some reason it doesn’t occur to them that Kate might have it. Jack dials his Jack Attack meter to 0.5, and wiggles around a bit creating a diversion. Cardaro tells Kate to leave. He very clearly needs to switch to decaf.

Kate exits, and calls Chloe even before she’s ten yards away from the rest of the marines, who are standing around not looking very marine-like. Chloe suggests that Kate get to a computer with a 4G network to upload the data. Kate thanks her for a very nice product placement, and hangs up.

Erik arrives, and as he and Kate walk out to the car, they discuss how the heck they’re going to prove that Jack is telling the truth about the drones being hijacked. Kate points out that even though they have these guys from the “24” show following them around filming their every move, no one would believe them. Instead, she says they’ll have to use the flight key to prove Tanner, and therefore Jack, is telling the truth. Erik says, “Tell me that’s not the flight key”. She makes a shadow puppet with it and says it’s actually a really old metal cigar. Erik looks relieved until he realizes she was telling the truth in the first place. Kate tells him that Chloe needs to get the data, and he says, “This is crazy!” Kate says, “This is ’24’.” Erik realizes she has a point.

As they drive away, Kate tells Chloe she has a computer. Chloe tells Kate to put the flight key in the USB port, and even though the flight key looks like completely ancient technology, it fits in the computer, and begins to upload the rest of the data to Chloe. Kate marvels at this, since even booting her computer takes 20 minutes.

Over at Margot’s House of Nine-Fingered Gloves, Navid attempts to wrap what’s left of the fingers of Simone’s hand with super gauze – super gauze because there’s not the hideous amount of blood you’d expect. He leaves, and Margot comes over to her. She tells Simone that she knows Simone is in pain and confused, much like every viewer of the show. It turns out that Margot does have a heart after all, and she tells Simone that she shouldn’t blame herself for having a guy cut off her finger. And besides, she’ll be able to count in base 9 a lot more easily now. Margot says it’s her fault, and if she’d known what Navid was planning, she would have acted sooner, which we can only interpret as cutting off Simone’s fingers even earlier than she did. Margot leaves, but she looks concerned that Simone might still be upset.

Margot comes downstairs. Navid tells her not to hurt Simone anymore. Margot asks, “Where are we?” Navid says, “We’re in your house!”, and then catches himself and tells her that four of the drones are right on schedule for some terror later on in the show.

Back at Chloe’s Hack-o-rama Hideout, she and Adrian stare at a hex dump scrolling on the screen, and she asks Adrian if he notices anything weird. Adrian says that he’s not really ever been part of The Matrix, so there’s no way he could read a scrolling hex dump that fast. He gets lucky and notices something that proves that Tanner wasn’t lying.

Kate gets the image from Chloe, and calls Jordan. She tells him to get Steve (no relation), so he can listen too. She uploads screen grabs from her phone to Jordan’s computer, using their mystical magical ultra-fast data connection, which most people would have to wait quite a while for.

Kate asks Jordan what he sees, and he tells her that it looks like an override code. Steve asks “What’s that? What are we talking about here?” It seems that whatever Heller has, it appears to be spreading to other people on the show. Kate explains that they’re trying to catch bad guys.

Kate goes on to explain that Tanner wasn’t lying and that Margot used the drone to kill the soldiers. Steve says, “Whoa! Whoa! Slow down!” She says it again, only slower, so he can understand. Steve puts her on hold, and tells Jordan that he’s about to put his ass on the line, and there can be no doubts about this. Jordan agrees. Steve is about to put his ass on the line. Steve calls the president.

3:10 – At the president’s place, they get the news that Jack wasn’t lying. Heller looks surprised, and asks to talk to Kate. Kate explains everything. Heller orders all the drones, world wide, to be grounded. And they’re to stay grounded until they do all their homework.

Margot watches Navid’s screen and sees that the drones are all altering course. She tells him to send the override, but he hesitates. She tells him not to “try her patience.” Navid is about to tell her he didn’t realize she was a doctor, and now that finger thing makes a whole lot more sense, but he stops himself. He types in the code.

At Heller’s place, they see a drone turn red, which is bad. Then they all disappear from the screen, and that’s really bad.

Commercial

3:17 pm – The general explains with a 3D graphic and a nice PowerPoint presentation that if the drone attacks, things will go boom. And if it attacks a nuclear plant, things will be even worse. But on the bright side, if it attacks where they’re standing, Audrey will be blown up.

Audrey, who for some reason is still there, despite this being a very high, national security, classified, and a few other adjectives I can’t think of right now, event. She asks if they have any idea where the drones are headed. Heller stops himself from telling her that if they knew, this wouldn’t be such a big issue. Instead, he makes a giant frog face while the general explains that the drones are headed to London and this Audrey blowing up thing might actually happen.

Heller wants to know if the drones can be shot down, and the general explains that the drones are equipped with the latest and greatest stealth technology, making them absolutely secure. Unless someone hacks them and takes them over.

Heller’s had enough. He wants to talk to their best secret drone that can’t be detected by anyone expert, Jack Bauer. For once in his life, Mark did the right thing and already ordered that Jack be brought to Heller. Jack will be there shortly. They’ll be able to tell when he arrives by the ceremonial thigh shootings that will take place outside before Jack enters the building.

Mark tries to apologize for being a butthead. Heller says they’ve all been buttheads, and that’s OK. What’s important now that the British be informed about the threat they’re facing. Audrey gets up to leave, to warn them, not realizing she’ll be the one that’s considered the threat. Heller calls after her that while it’s really important that they be told, only tell a small circle. Audrey looks confused, and tells him that she doesn’t know what geometry has to do with this, but she won’t tell many people, just in case.

Mark goes after her, and lamely takes some time that would be otherwise be better used to tell the British they’re going to get bombed. Audrey leaves.

3:20 – At make-shift CIA headquarters, Steve gives a nice PowerPoint presentation to all the extras who haven’t been on the show long enough to know what the heck is going on.

When Kate arrives, Steve informs her that he’s “taking her off the roster”, because Cordaro back at the embassy has his panties in a wad. Someone back home at CIA headquarters, found out that Kate was there, and couldn’t understand why someone who’d been ordered back home was still out in the field. Kate explains that she wasn’t in the field, she was at an embassy. One is big and grassy, and the other is big and gassy. Steve tells her that she has to fill out at TPS report, and Steve brings up her ex-husband AGAIN, just in case it hasn’t been pounded into our heads enough.

Jordan interrupts and tells Steve that he has something to show him. It turns out that Margot has her own YouTube channel! She issues a threat that thousands of people in London will die unless Heller is turned over in three hours. Heller drops to the ground, turns over, jumps up, yells “Ta Da!” and stands there expectantly, until someone tells him that’s not what Margot meant.

Commercial

3:28 pm – Back at Chloe’s Nerd camp, they’re also watching Margot’s channel. A visibly larger Ron Weasley is freaked out about the coming drone attack. Adrian explains to Jack’s thug friend that they’ve done everything they can do, and they’d really like to leave because everyone’s about to be blown up. Chloe doesn’t want to leave.

General Video Presentation gives another powerpoint presentation on the exact drone strike that killed Margot’s husband, proving that even from London he has some really special multi-media archive retrieval skills. They even have a picture of Margot crawling away from after her husband was killed. Heller wants to know why he was never told that civilians were killed, and Mark argues that they were trying to do surgical strikes. Heller tells him that he didn’t realize doctors walked out on work and onto a picket line. Heller also points out that half the world is going to blame him for the bombing that’s going to happen. They discuss that they’re all not very happy with their acting today, and then get back into character.

Some butlers announce that Jack’s arriving now. Heller goes to see him. Heller explains that Margot has six drones, and Jack points out that he was right. Just like every other person that doubts Jack, Heller completely ignores this. He wants to know if Jack happens to know any new plot twists that would help them stop Margot from bombing London back to the 1990s. Jack just so happens to have a guy in mind. He knows of an arms dealer who has stayed in some of the worst prisons on earth. Heller tells him that it would be a lot better if they dealt with someone who didn’t deal in body parts, and someone with a little better taste in hotels. But he doesn’t go along with the idea of Jack going out, even if Jack pinky promises that he’ll come back. Heller thinks that the Russians being mad will be worse than London blowing up.

3:34pm – At Margot’s drone shack, Margot proves she’s British by saying the word “schedule” in a weird way. Time to Drone: 14 minutes. Navid really wants to see Simone, because they have some time to kill before the drones come and do some killing of their own. She tells Navid go, while Ian monitors the flight path.

Navid goes to see Simone, whose bandage is still relatively blood-free. He then says that he’s put a tracer after the end credits of Margot’s video, just like in the Avengers movies. He tells Simone to fake out the authorities, and to tell them she doesn’t know a darn thing about those old drones.

At make-shift CIA headquarters: London, Jordon points out that he’s incredibly lucky, but they have an actual IP address, and they’ve found out where Margot is! Steve’s so happy that he’s going to go out to Margot’s estate with everyone else. This freaks out Erik a little bit because usually the captain stays aboard the ship. Erik points out that it’s a good thing Steve isn’t wearing a red shirt.

Commercial

3:42 pm – Audrey goes to the room where Jack is being held. First thing Jack says, “You shouldn’t be here!” It sounded more like a plea. She explains they have a lead, and that they’re going after Margot.

Audrey starts to cry, which makes Jack start to cry, probably because of whatever gas she gives off. We really can’t understand what Audrey is saying, and it gets hard to hear what Jack is saying because Audrey tries to stick her nose in Jack’s eye.

The Prime Minster arrives and Heller tells him that Margot has control of six drones that are headed for London. The PM says, “I don’t understand”, which again is not the first time people have had to have things re-explained in this episode. Heller says that he’s got a TV channel set up so they can watch Steve trying to act like an agent in the field.

3:46 p – Out in the field, four black SUVs race down the street. It’s Erik and Steve, and some other CIA people. The streets are completely empty, which makes it a lot easier to get around London.

Back at headquarters, Jordan sympathizes with Kate. Jordan thinks that Kate should really be out in the field, and it’s just like a high level manager to take credit for something a lower level person did.

Kate’s pretty suspicious of this whole “IP address” thing, so she calls Chloe and asks that Chloe take a look at the tape. Chloe doesn’t have access directly to their network, and admits she’s not good enough to (WHICH WE KNOW IS A LIE, BECAUSE CHLOE CAN DO ANYTHING….ahem….anyway…). Just to make it tough, Chloe decides to do this over her phone, rather than using a desktop computer.

At Margot’s House of the IP Address, Margot reveals that they know all about Navid’s plan! Ian found the buffer that Navid was using, and no one is actually going to the right place! Navid points out that they’ll still need him to pilot the drones, but it turns out that Ian was peaking over his should the whole time and he thinks he has a pretty good idea of how to pilot them. Kind of like watching a bunch of movies about shuttle launches would allow you to be able to pilot a space shuttle. A thug comes over and beats up Navid. Margot tells Ian that the Americans will be at the “other house” soon, and no one should get out alive.

Commercial

3:53pm – Adrian tries to get Chloe to stop helping Jack, but she won’t. Jack’s thug has to step in when it looks like Chloe might be stopped, so she stays. All the other nerds leave. Much larger looking Ron Weasly is the last to go.

The SUVs arrive near Margot’s House of the Fake IP Address. They all get out, acting really stealthy, except for all the car doors slamming. No one, including Steve, realizes they’re about to attack Downton Abbey. The agents circle the house and break in. Everyone goes inside, but it’s empty.

Chloe finds something wrong with the tape and calls Kate. She says that the buffer has an inserted redirect! (I hate it when that happens). That, logically, means that Steve has walked into a trap. Kate immediately calls Steve to get out of there. Steve has a bad connection on his headset, it’s a cheap Bluetooth, because he asks her to repeat what she said. She again tells them to get out of there. They start to leave just as Ian hits the missiles on a drone that’s arrived.

Downton Abbey blew up! Steve and Erik can’t be found!

Margot comes downstairs and tells Navid that Ian proved he knew how to use the drones. She tells Navid, “I treated you like a son!” Navid points out that she did, except for chopping off fingers, but don’t get him wrong, that’s just fine. He likes his fingers right where they are. He begs Margot not to kill him, and that if she loves Simone, she’d know that Simone wouldn’t want her to kill him. Simone happens to be on the stairs, and doesn’t say a thing. Margot kills Navid. For a second, Simone realizes that Navid finally doesn’t have to be on the show anymore, and she’s still stuck there with a crazy mom.

4:00pm – Time’s up!

NEXT TIME – Jack has a gun! And Kate! Margo has drones! Bad guys have a power drill! Kate looks like she’s having a Jack Bauer day!

SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

24: Live Another Day – Hour 4 recap

24
PREVIOUSLY ON 24: Kate interrogated the seven dwarves; Mark has started practicing for a career as a sports memorabilia forger; Erik brought up Kate’s husband AGAIN; Audrey continued to float around people like a dementor, only scarier; Margot and Simone practiced playing the game Operation; Heller was surprised to find out that Parliament talks back, just like the mirror he practices speeches in front of; Simone needs to learn that a stuffed animal with cameras for eyes is not an appropriate gift to accept from your mother, especially a mother that appears to have ambitions to be a security guard; Jack tries to sneak into the embassy to find Tanner and the flight key and is feeling a lot better now that he’s been able to yell, shoot a few thighs, and cause some havoc.

The following takes place between 2 pm and 3 pm:

2pm – Mass panic! Protests! It’s likely someone saw Audrey in an embassy window. Jack tells Chloe that he’s used that diversion to get inside the embassy. The only problem is Erik and Kate saw him outside, and are pretty sure he’s not there to take pictures with the guards outside. Jack says that he’s going to try and get the flight key from inside the embassy. Many people are running around, and after picking out a nice guard, Jack gives him a big old hug. A big Jack Bauer Hug that lasts just a little bit too long. (Jack’s been out in the field for a long time.) The guard passes out from the sheer joy of it. Chloe gives Jack the floor, room number, make, model and serial number of the door lock, plus the origin of the metal used to make the lock. This gives Jack enough information to find the right room. He grabs the guard’s security card as a souvenir and runs.

Chloe complains that Chell screwed up the ID that Jack was going to use to get into the embassy and that if she’d used a number instead of a Little Orphan Annie secret code none of this would be happening. Adrian is still upset that Chloe brought Jack to their secret location, which is the only secret Adrian actually doesn’t want the world to know about. Adrian tries to justify what he’s doing, but Chloe wants none of it. Chloe tells him to “get out of my sight” and she’s not talking about a website. Adrian just stares at her, but despite trying, staring at Chloe like that doesn’t turn her to stone.

Jack’s thug friend tells Chloe it’s going to be tough to get Jack out of an embassy full of marines. Chloe says she knows that, and that Embassy Full Of Marines was the name of her first band in college. Also, that she owes Jack her life, her sorry, and her monopoly. Jack’s thug friend says he owes Jack too, and that he’s pretty sure that Adrian isn’t doing anything that isn’t in his own self interest.

At the embassy, Erik and Kate meet a marine that magically figures out that when they identify themselves as “agents”, they mean CIA agents. They convince the marine that Jack is a threat and foolishly only bring eight other marines with them.

Tanner is being held in an absolute ultra mega low security room with absolutely nobody guarding him. This allows Jack to enter the room with one card swipe. This must be an absolutely new card key lock because it works so well.

Inside room, Tanner is just staring off into space when Jack arrives. Jack doesn’t realize there’s soldier in the room guarding Tanner. Jack makes up a story pretty quickly. He tells the soldier:

There once was a man named Jack,
Who came to move soldiers during an attack,
But when he got there,
The guard with short hair,
Turned to the phone and got a whack.

Not realizing Jack was predicting the future, the guard turns to answer a ringing phone and Jack whacks him in the back of the head.

Jack explains to a freaked out Tanner that he knows Tanner is innocent all about the drone that was taken over. Jack just wants the flight key so he can stop the pending attack. Tanner does what anyone would do in this situation: He asks Jack why he should believe him. Tanner thinks about this much too long, and finally tells Jack that the key is with Captain Denovo, who is the guy Jack just knocked out.

Back on Chloe’s new cable channel London Embassy TV, there’s a development: The herd of marines plus Kate and Erik are on the stairs headed Jack’s way. Jack quickly finds the flight key on Denovo, thanks Tanner, and leaves.

2:07 pm – Jack leaves just as the Marine herd arrives to find Tanner just sitting there in his room like nothing happened. Nothing except Captain Denovo seems to have mysteriously passed out for no apparent reason. Denovo wakes up and tells them about Jack’s coat that he’s wearing.

Jack tries to exit the building but the key card swiper is just not as new as the other one and it doesn’t work. Jack quickly realizes that the embassy has its own private network line. He asks Chloe to help him find it. Chloe tells him that a lot more marines are arriving and that there’s NO WAY he could possibly exit the building. Apparently Chloe has forgotten who she’s talking to. Jack tells her to find the communications room, and he runs down the hall. He finds what looks like a bathroom just in time for the commercial.

Commercial

2:13pm – Back at Margot’s House of Hidden Cameras, Margot has taken some time out of spying on her daughter and husband long enough to find out that the drone system will be ready to use in about an hour.

Simone and her husband are in bed. The husband says that he’s going to leave, because he’s getting a little creeped out by her mother. Also, he doesn’t feel good about killing people. He tells Simone that he’s waited for a week to carry through with his plan to leave. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and something tells me he’s going to get that wish, but it’s just not going to be as long as he hopes. She agrees to go with him.

Steve (no relation) Navarro calls and as usual, he’s right on top of things. He says that Flash came up on his web browser and it said that beside desperately needing an upgrade right away, it shows the embassy is on lock down for no reason he can fathom. Kate tells him it is, surprise, Jack Bauer. The marines with her crouch down with their guns drawn, just in case they see Jack. Kate, meanwhile doesn’t seem to have a care in the world as she walks behind them, completely upright, while talking to Steve.

2:17 pm – Jack heads downstairs to yet another basement, as Chloe directs him. He finds the communications room, which is filled with computer people dressed up like they’re all going to a job interview, because they sure are not dressed like computer people.

Chloe tells Jack how to use the computer, which is new for Jack because he’s always had Chloe do this sort of thing for him. The marines are closing in, now in an even bigger hurry because they think they’ll be able to get Jack to sign all their guns. While Jack is trying to upload the data to Chloe, he makes her promise that no matter what happens, she’ll get out of that eye makeup. Also, that she’ll get the data to Heller, if he’s still sane. Suddenly, the data connection drops! Adrian just happens to have a cool program that Jack can download in order to decrypt the data and get it uploaded back to them. It’s really lucky that Adrian knows the exact operating system, software libraries and version numbers that Jack is using, because otherwise this would never work.

The marines are right outside the door. Jack orders one of the computer people to open the door. After making sure that the marines are wearing the good, new body armor, he has the door opened and shoots a couple of them. The door slams shut. The marines, in frustration, shoot the door, because they really, really want that door dead.

Commercial

2:23pm – Margot asks Simone if she wants a tea, earl grey, hot. Margot confronts her about her husband, Navin, while someone plays a weird little gong sound in the background. Simone tells Margot everything that Navin said, and then appears to be worried that Margot will hurt him in some way. Margot says that he’s already been hurt enough by all the rejection he used to get on That 70’s show, and she’ll do what ever it takes to make sure he pilots those drones.

Heller’s in Parliament, still talking for the last 25 minutes. He says that he wishes he could cast a spell “like in that Hogwarts you have here” and make the bodies come back to life. He tells them he wants them to move forward together. And then to the side. And back. And then to shake it all about.

Mark gets a phone call from Steve (no relation) who tells him that Jack is in the communications room with hostages. He tells them that it’s not looking good because Jack has ordered pizza so it might be a while.

Mark tells Steve that he’s disappointed in his performance. Most of the audience agrees with him, but that’s not important now. What’s important is that the marines are there. Mark tells him that “I need to know what you know.” That should take about five seconds.

Adrian and Chloe argue about the size of Jack’s core processor, which is not a euphemism. The encryption program is just not working very fast.

Since Jack has nothing to do but wait, he decides to take a phone call from the audience. First caller: Captain Kevin Cordaro. The captains tries to threaten Jack by saying he’d like to work together, which works just about as well as anyone to expect, since Jack barely works with people he DOES like. Jack threatens to kill the hostages, but at the same time shakes his head as if to say, “no no, I’m just saying that” and hangs up. Several of the hostages look like they’re going to need new underwear. Meanwhile, the Cordaro is more concerned about the marines getting shot than the hostages.

Up in Tanner’s room, Erik and Kate arrive. Erik tells Tanner that Jack is downstairs surrounded by marines, so Tanner shouldn’t expect any help. This obviously means that Erik has never read Jack’s CTU personnel file.

Kate asks Tanner what his relationship is with Jack. Tanner says he doesn’t swing that way, and he and Jack just met. Erik says he doesn’t believe him. Tanner SWEARS he doesn’t swing that way. Kate asks a lot nicer, and Tanner finally tells them what Jack said: That the key holds the key to the key of the drone attack and that is key. Plus, that the drone was taken over and is going to be used in an attempted attack later this season. Kate and Erik leave.

As they walk down the hall, Erik says “We should have pushed him harder!” Kate says that wouldn’t have worked because he looked really stable in that chair he was sitting in. And besides, Kate believes him. She tells Erik she wants to talk to Bauer about this drone threat.

Heller is STILL talking to Parliament but finally seems to be wrapping up. They all applaud because he’s finally finished, and it’s getting closer to tea time. Heller, Audrey and Mark move to another room after the speech.

Mark explains that the protests outside aren’t going like usual protests go, and not only did people break in, but there are hostages. Oh, and Jack Bauer.

Audrey and Heller are surprised that Jack’s in town, because he’s usually not in town during this time of year. Mark tries to enforce the fact that while Jack hasn’t fatally shot anyone, the way you’d expect, it’s really important that the marines go in after him right away. Heller says to not make any moves until he’s had a chance to talk to Jack about this great opportunity to buy gold coins.

Commercial
2:37 pm – Navin is packing his bag as Simone and Margot enter the room. He says it’s just a backpack with his Dungeon and Dragon’s stuff. Margot doesn’t believe him, and says that he’s got a stain on him. Seeing how surprised he looks, I’m not surprised.

Margot gives Navin a chance to pilot the drones. He picks this time to stand up to Margot. He tells her that those drones are going to be used for evil delivery purposes, probably by big companies with huge warehouses and discount prices. Margot says that she’s very disappointed, and that her dead husband, even though he’s dead, is also very disappointed, but in a way that only the dead can be. She says she knows a thing or two about dead relatives because one of the last ones she had was beheaded at a castle.

Navin swears on a stack of his D&D books that he’ll never pilot the drones, no matter what Margot does to him. She says she believes him.

Margot tells her thugs to bring Simone over and to take her ring off. Well, these guys aren’t too bright and actually chop off one of her fingers. Margot tells the thug to do it again, but correctly. This really freaks out Navin (not the mention Simone) and he agrees to pilot the drone.

Back in the third sub-basement of the embassy, Kate tells Cardovo that she really needs to talk to Jack, just in case this whole drone attack is real, and not some mega-website publicity stunt. He says, “I’m not introducing any more variables into this equation. This conversation is over,” which leads both Erik and Kate to believe this Cardovo might be a robot.

Kate calls Steve (no relation) Navaro, and Navaro wants to know if she debriefed Tanner. She says no, he still has his underwear, but she did get to talk to him. She goes on to explain what Jack has been saying.

Navaro tells her that Jack will be receiving a phone call from Heller any minute now. He hangs up. Jordan, who is there with Navaro, says that if they’d all just listened to Kate in the first place, none of this would be going on. Navaro doesn’t take this very well and accuses Jordan of having a crush on Kate, which is exactly the kind of high school gossip we come to expect from people in his position. And then he goes on to say that Kate doesn’t have good judgment because she not only didn’t realize her husband would betray the country, but that she also dated a guy named Bryce who once downloaded a whole bunch of classified pictures which got uploaded to someone’s head. These people really need to re-enforce this plot point because we haven’t heard it in nearly an hour.

The phone rings. Jack answers. The voice says, “It’s me.” Jack says, “Donald Sutherland?” No, it’s just President Heller. He’s very disappointed that Jack shot people. Jack points out that it was only a flesh wound. Besides, he’s Jack Bauer so if he wanted them dead, they’d be off to visit the choir invisible.
Jack goes on to say that he believes that drone system is vulnerable, and that any minute now packages could start raining down from the sky. Heller says, “Explain that, Jack.” Jack goes into great detail about planes, helicopters, and flying things, using small words so the President, and everyone else on the line can understand.

He finally explains the takeover of Tanner’s drone by Yates, and that Margot is going to use it in a very bad way.

Heller asks why Jack didn’t just come to him in the first place. Jack explains that the White House only has limited visiting hours, and usually the president is no where to be seen on any of these tours. Plus, he’s been labeled as terrorist, still had the label, and it will just not come off. He’s also never been able to tell his side of the story, so he’s a little miffed about that. Jack tells Heller he’s never lied to him, about him, near him, under him, over him, at him, or through him, so he should believe him now. Heller tells Jack to stay by the phone, which is kind of silly because with a room that small Jack has no choice.

Audrey believes Jack, which proves that even in her current state, she can be somewhat lucid. Mark is completely against believing Jack. He points out that Jack broke Chloe out of CIA custody, and that Jack is much more manly than he is. Also that Open Cell, the group Jack is working with, uploaded 30,000 documents of web page histories of everyone in Congress, which lead to a lot of embarrassing stories.

To drive home is point, he points out that Jack killed a lot of people before, and that’s why he shouldn’t be trusted. Heller loses his mind, not realizing that Jack did this quite a bit in the old days, and gives the order that the marines can go in when they’re ready.

Commercial

2:51pm – Chloe shows Adrian some old Youtube videos of America’s Funniest Drone attacks and points out that the missiles on the new drones are a lot bigger. They’re going to do a lot more damage, and frankly, she really doesn’t want to see London destroyed, which would dash her hopes of being able to see the Monty Python reunion.

Adrian, who still hasn’t cleared his throat of phlegm, points out that he has been trying to help. Kind of. Adrian makes a big mistake, and asks Chloe why she just can’t let Jack go. You can tell Chloe didn’t like this at all.

Back at sub-basement three, Cardovo makes a little speech about how if they sense Jack is a threat at all, they should shoot him.. He dismisses everyone and then calls a guy who looks about 15 over, and tells him to shoot Jack on sight no matter what happens. Like in Call of Duty.

Kate’s on the phone with Navaro as Jordan brings up Margot’s home page on the web, which confirms that Jack didn’t just make up her name.

Kate realizes something that no one else, even the people with plans to the building, has thought – that they might able to get into the room with Jack using the giant human-size air ducts.

2:54 pm – Kate goes into the air duct, even with that brand new sweater she’s wearing.

Mark and Audrey argue. Audrey’s really upset with Mark, and she knows that Mark is really scared of Jack.

Chloe realizes that cable company is on to her, because her cable feed goes out, and she can’t watch what the marines are doing anymore.

The marines are about to go in, so Jack starts rearranging the furniture.

One of the marines sees that there’s a symbol on his Candy Crush game he can’t explain, because it’s all “Kate-shaped” and headed to the room where Jack is. Erik tells Cordovo about Kate’s plan, but he won’t listen.

Kate breaks into the room, and pinky swears that she believes Jack.

The marines blow up the door, and Kate saves Jack by sitting on him. The marines don’t fire on Jack.

The upload doesn’t make it.

At Margot’s House of One Less Finger, the drone takeover system is online!

3:00 pm – Time’s up!

NEXT TIME: Missing flight key! Margot has six drones! Margot gets her own TV channel! Jack wants to be outstanding in his field! Drone missiles!

24: Live Another Day – Hour 3 recap

24

PREVIOUSLY ON 24: Jack lead a bunch of CIA agents in a “Running of the Bauer” event through London; A cohort of Jack’s did some street demolition; Chloe, who might have gone Goth or Emo, or a combination of the two, was saved by Jack and is now helping him; Heller has become President, but keeps forgetting where he left Audrey; Audrey has been assigned to torture duty and got married to chief of staff Mark; Yates learned that people in blonde wigs who speak with Russian accents think ears are actually pencil sharpeners; Catelyn Stark is now Margo and has taken up amateur drone flying.

The following takes place between 1pm and 2pm:

1 pm – Jack and Chloe drive up to the only pub in London with nearly no one in it at lunchtime. Jack uncharacteristically runs into the Little Bauer Room, only to find Yates dead on the ground. Jack pulls his gun and threatens several bathroom stall doors, but they don’t tell him anything, despite being stomped.

Chloe doesn’t see anything on any cameras near the pub because the Blonde Ex-Russian left by the one exit in London not covered by cameras. Jack finds a wig, and realizes that it is very unlikely that a dumpster would be wearing a wig, especially a blonde one. It has to be the girl, so they decide to start looking for any woman not wearing a wig.

There’s a subway near there, and not the sandwich kind. Chloe finds the woman nearly instantly because of the silver suitcase she’s carrying. The subway train she’s headed out on is Waterloo, which is sure to excite not only Bill and Ted, but also Napolean – that is, if they can get back in time for their school report. Jack heads for the subway, just as we see the woman inside a subway car as it moves away.

Meanwhile, Kate is either interrogating the seven dwarves, or men on their knees. She shows a guy with a Bauer hickey a picture of Jack she’s got on probably the only black and white camera phone on earth. She tries to trick that guy into talking, but one of the others, probably Doc, speaks up. Kate realizes this guy is in charge, because extras don’t usually speak on shows like this.

Erik gets a phone call – it’s Steve (no relation). Steve’s upset because he’s gotten reports that Americans are running around shooting things, and the British know that, because that’s what Americans usually do when they’re in London. Steve tells Erik to get out of there, because they’re having a crisis. And he means more of a crisis than Americans running around shooting things. He finally tells Erik that Kate shouldn’t even be there.

Doc tells Kate to naughty-word off, since they’re not the real police. He can tell this because they don’t have those funny round hats and whistles. Erik tells Kate that Steve is really mad, and that everyone has to be let go. She starts to argue that she has a contract until the end of the show, until she realizes that Erik means the dwarven prisoners. The dwarves all look very relieved that they’ll soon be doing something safer – traveling to Smaug.

Kate doesn’t like this at all, and plays Duck, Duck, Solid Bar To The Back Of The Head with Doc, who promptly falls over, not face first, but back of the head first which is pretty impressive since he was instantly knocked out. Kate wants to take Doc with them. Erik complains that the police won’t like it they find CIA agents there, until he realizes HE’S a CIA agent, and he better get out of there soon. They carry Doc to the car.

Elsewhere, Jack does some typical American tourist thing, driving on the correct side of the road, which is the wrong side in London. They reach the subway station ahead of the subway train, because London has no traffic, just like LA.

The train arrives at stop 9 and 3 quarters, and Jack jumps on. Jack makes his way towards the woman who just happens to notice that Jack is wearing all black and has an ear piece. So, she does something unbelievable – she cuts her own fish net stockings! She’s so frazzled that she accidentally cuts her leg too. As she exits, she smears blood on her face, thinking a rouge disguise might throw him off the track, but Jack spots the ploy right away.

She yells for help, and instantly two guys try to stop Jack. They’ve never heard of Jack before, so they don’t realize how foolish this was to try until .3 seconds later when they’re down on the ground incapacitated.

This is long enough for the woman to get away, even tough she’s the only one with red hair in the whole place. The woman finds a open gate, and jumps down into another part of the subway system, losing Jack!

On the street, Chloe continues to look for the woman, but gets sidetracked because she sees a man, woman and child that look a heck of a lot like her ex-husband Morris, her son, and the way she looks. Well, if the husband was 20 pounds lighter, if the son was 4 years older, and if Chloe grew her hair out and actually dressed in colors.

While she’s distracted, the woman walks right by Chloe and gets into a taxi, which thinks nothing of people with blood on their face getting rides. The taxi drives off.

Jack can’t believe she’s gone. Jack says, “You missed her? How?” Chloe tells him that it is very insensitive to do Indian impressions, and besides she just wants to go back. She’s really upset and explains that Morris and her son are both dead because of a car accident. She thinks it is her fault because she should have been driving, and thinks that she was target because she knows what really happened the last day she saw Jack.

Jack tells her “You can’t bring back the ones you love”. Chloe tells him that’s not how that Spike Jones song goes, and he should listen to more Dr. Demento. Jack says he doesn’t want to make Chloe do anything (like that would work, even for Jack), but he needs her help.

Commercial

1:18 pm – Back in his office, Mark stares at his computer screen, pondering his next app purchase. There’s a knock and Mark uses his x-ray vision to invite Ron into the room.

Ron tells him he has a rendition order all ready to go. Ron says that they really can’t turn Jack over to the Russians because of all these “legal” things, and besides they’ll need the President’s signature. Mark says he’s pretty sure that all he’d have to do is tell Heller that he’s signing an autograph, and it’ll all be OK.

Suddenly, they are both scared to death by the entrance of … AUDREY. They both scoot away as she enters the room, cornering them. She wants to know what they’re talking about. Mark lies and tells her that they were talking about the soldier who is really bad at video games. Ron narrowly escapes as he eases past Audrey.

Audrey is out of her mind upset that Mark would actually try and prep her father for actual hard trivia questions that Parliament is likely to ask. She’s particularly upset about the double Jeopardy category and the fact that Alex Trebec wasn’t even there.

Mark says that Heller is in a compromised state and it would be foolish for him to try and get Parliament to go along with the lease extension. Audrey says this has nothing to do with Illinois, and she will not put up with having her father put on a leash, even with an extension.

Mark thinks they should go home, and try and work out things from there using “back channels”. Audrey asks if that means channels above 13 on the dial. Mark convinces Audrey that she should be the one that gets Heller to go along with this idea. Audrey leaves, leaving Mark unharmed. To celebrate, Mark decides to commit a federal offense and forge the President’s signature on the rendition order that Ron brought in.

Elsewhere, Jack and Chloe are doing the tourist thing and driving around London. Chloe spends her time looking up the woman, and discovers her real name is Simone Al-Harazi, which they both agree doesn’t sound very Russian. Jack realizes that Margot is her Mom. Margot is likely to be upset because her al-Qaida husband was beheaded in a drone attack when they were together. It turns out these drones are REALLY precise and Margot got away, even though she was right next to her husband at the time.

1:22 pm – Turns out that Margot has been doing pretty well for herself after the drone strike, because she’s got a nice house with a lot of flowers in the back. Margot notices Simone’s leg, and Simone assures her that she has no idea who the American who was follow her is, because she doesn’t read live blogs or watch American television. They give each other an awkward hug.

Simone goes inside and greets her brother, completing the terrorist family reunion. The brother says that Yates used a “non-standard” bus, and is very upset it’s not SCSI or even IEEE-488. Margot asks how long it’ll take, and he gives an engineer’s answer “about an hour, maybe more”. Margot gives a manager’s answer and says “Make it less”.

Simone notices the words on the video monitors with red background and that can only mean that the targeting is done! She’s so excited. Then she gets even more excited when someone that looks like a older version of Fez from That 70’s Show walks into the room. She starts speaking Arabic to him (Nadeen), because they haven’t done subtitles in a while. Margot looks none too pleased by their display of affection. In fact, either does Fez.

Margot sends out Simone to get a new pair of fishnet stockings. And to clean up the gash that has already stopped bleeding. Margot explains to Nadeen that sometimes even she had to do disgusting things, like be in this season of 24, and no one should hold that against Simone. Besides, it’s not like they were all invited to a wedding where people locked the doors behind them. Margot explains that she used to cut her fishnet stockings in the past too, but it was necessary because they’re all at war.

Commercial

1:30pm – Chloe and Jack arrive back at Nerd camp. Adrian asks why they’re back, and Jack explains that they need to carry out further plot points. Jack goes on to explain that Yates has taken 10 prototype Amazon drones, armed them with Hellfire missiles and Amazon Prime. That means that at the very least, the missiles will cause havoc all over London several days earlier than if they went through the normal delivery methods. Adrian tries to point out that if America hadn’t invented Amazon Prime than there wouldn’t be an issue. Chloe looks disgusted that these boys are arguing like that, and re-writes Windows 8 to be more stable while they carry on.

Adrian, Jack and Chloe discuss that what they really need is proof that Tanner’s drone was taken over, and they’ll need a flight plan. One of the up until now silent background nerds goes into a little speech about how the pilot’s name is Tanner and that it’s been all over the news. Chloe shoots him a look as if to say, “We just said his name, right over there! This is the second time I’ve been right next to someone and they can’t hear me!”. Other nerds in the room find out that Tanner is going to be handed over to the British embassy soon, so Jack and Chloe are going to need some help. Adrian agrees.

Kate is using Google Maps to continue to search for Pokemon from last April Fool’s day while she and Erik drive with Doc in the back of the car. Doc has fixed himself somehow with a gauze bandage. Doc will not shut up.

1:33 – Erik drives into a tunnel that just happens to be where a dangerous gang of thugs that Doc has previous experience with are standing around. You can tell they’re dangerous because there’s graffiti everywhere. Kate threatens Doc with an ejection seat unless he talks. He won’t talk, so Kate hits the button… which lets down the window a little. This completely freaks out Doc, and he says that Yates has been talking about Tanner, and several episodes of Breaking Bad. That makes Erik and Kate mad because they’re a season behind on Netflix. Fortunately for Doc, even though he’s freaking out and yelling, the thugs have extremely bad vision and can’t tell who’s in the car. They drive off before the thugs can even do a thing.

Meanwhile, at a very violent looking peace protest outside of the U.S. Embassy, Tanner arrives by limo. Everyone’s yelling at the limo like Lou is holding up a sign for Springsteen.

Commercial

1:39pm – Margot attempts to stitch up her fishnet stockings, accidentally stitching up Simone instead. Margot tells Simone that she should be careful, because the American, whomever he was, found her once, when he shouldn’t have at all. Margot finishes and leaves, while Simone looks mysteriously around the room.

In the Erik/Kate car, they’re STILL driving around, meaning that they’re taking the very long way around back to headquarters despite driving very quickly. Kate says that the DOD app on her iPad says that Tanner claims someone took over his video game, probably using screen sharing technology. Kate says, “There’s something that makes all these pieces fit together…what are we not seeing?” Erik says, “A Plot?” Erik goes on to point out, yet again, that even though Kate is pretty sharp, she was still the one that was married to an agent for the Chinese, and didn’t even know it! Also, “Neener-Neerer”.

Kate’s phone rings: It’s Steve (again, no relation). Turns out that Kate’s team tattled on her, and she shouldn’t be doing anything. That is until Kate tells him that they were able to get some info. Then Steve says, “Well, then that’s OK then.”

Heller watches TV which announces that the crowd outside has nearly tripled, which means there’s probably about 10 people out there now, but they’re making a lot of noises due to enhanced special effects. Oh, and he’s in his bathrobe.

Audrey enters the room, and while they watch TV, Heller says, “They want blood”, which gets Audrey very excited, until she realized he doesn’t mean that literally. They want justice for what Tanner did.

Audrey mutes the TV. Heller picks up the remote to mute Audrey, but it doesn’t work. She says that she wants to talk to him about his appearance and Parliament. He says he’s perfectly comfortable in a bathrobe, and will wear it if he wants to, despite what Mark is worried about.

Heller insists that the treaty is going to have to happen here and now. Audrey points out that would be silly because there’s no one else here, and Mark wouldn’t like that. She tells Heller that he should continue to get dressed because it turns out the robe he’s wearing is a lot shorter than she realized.

Meanwhile, outside the U.S. Embassy, the mob continues to carry on. So, logically, Jack is in the street headed right for it and easily walks through the crowd. Except for one guy who pushes Jack. Luckily for him, Jack is in a hurry, so Jack doesn’t shoot him. Jack walks up to the non-angry line outside the embassy.

Back at Nerd Camp, Adrian changes the fake id code that Jack is going to try to use to get into the embassy with 8675309. The Nerd girl points out that not only is his name not Jenny, but it will also get Jack flagged by security.

Commercial

1:51 – Nadeen is still trying to come to terms with Simone being with another guy and takes a drink of alcohol, which would make Margot furious, not only because it’s against her religion, but also because it’s her super expensive stash. Simone is concerned that Nadeen still hasn’t come to terms with what she had to do, to get the drone controller. Simone says that she HAD to kiss the nerd, but she swears he tasted terrible.

It turns out that Nadeen is having second thoughts about this whole “killing” thing. And “victims” and “blood”, and “nightmares”. This just isn’t working out the way it always does in the video games he plays, so he’s disillusioned. Simone says all the killing is perfectly AOK, because that’s what psychotic people do. She starts to kiss him while Margot watches on the ultra-creepy cam.

1:54 pm – The Prime Minister greets the President when he arrives, strangely out of site of any protestors. The PM suggests the President not address the Parliament, mainly because they’re not an envelope, but also because they are a really surly bunch like a pack of rabid congresspeople. Heller says he’s “with Churchill on this one”, forgetting that Churchill has been dead for quite some time but walks off before the PM can point this out.

Meanwhile Mark and Audrey argue about Heller, until she reveals that Mark keeps her in a box like a fragile keepsake. Mark points out that he only does this for his safety and the safety of all those around him, and that he has a key for that box.

The PM enters Parliament and introduces Heller, who’s going to speak to them. He gets out the words “Ladies and Gentlemen” and people start yelling, really confusing Heller, at least for now.

There’s a whole montage of scenes, which is mainly in place to waste a bit of time until the last scene.

Erik and Kate arrive where they were headed to so fast: The U.S. Embassy, which Jack arrived at long, long ago.

Jack, meanwhile, finally gets to the front of the line. The guard asks why Jack is there, and he says “To kick ass and take names. And visa versa”. The ID tag doesn’t match! There’s a tense moment back at Nerd Camp, and Chloe realizes Jack is in deep trouble. Jack walks away, beats up a policeman, grabs his gun and thigh shoots the guy that pushed him before! And someone else for good measure, causing mass panic. Jack runs into along with the crowd into the embassy with Kate and Erik hot in pursuit. Kate yells “Bauer” a couple of times, thinking that might stop Jack.

NEXT TIME: Elbow hits! Jack talks to Tanner! Hostages! Exploding doors!