24: 10pm to 11pm

I participate in the weekly blog of the TV show “24” over on Dave Barry’s blog. Here’s my weekly summary; it’s slightly different than what was posted over there. Typepad’s message filtering system didn’t let me post the original. I had to change a few words to get it to post.

————–

Oh oh, we get local channels on the dish… Apparently the local channels on the dish are on strike (including 24!) because 167 hours of SpongeBob per week, and the local channels feel neglected. Either that, or it was that storm last night.

I called the provider, whose initials are D.I.S.H., and they said that the local channels weren’t on yet because of clouds. Or a bird. Maybe even the wind. I’m still thinking it’s SpongeBob. I’m gonna have to watch this over-the-air without TiVo.

Anyway. this is my really long-winded way of saying that I’m going to be summarizing without a net tonight, so if this is a bit inaccurate, if I miss a few people that get shot, or if it’s got really really lame jokes, then everything is normal.

10pm – CTU. Everyone’s panicking. Without Jack, there’s no CTU, and worse, no season next year.

10:01 – Jack’s OK! That was the scariest minute of their lives. Jack is carrying IEST. Audrey looks like she’s going to cry.

10:02 – Interrogation of IEST begins, which involves Jack yelling really really loudly, because that always works. They’re taking IEST to the top place to treat the injuried….CTU.

10:03 – Jack wants to know where Robocop went, and Bill doesn’t know. Jack thinks Robocop is working on a bigger subplot.

10:04 – Scary’s on the phone with Madam Haig, and wants her to jump through hoops. He realizes it’s Haig…he thought he dialed 1-800-HOT-HOOP

10:05 – Creepy Home Security Guy thinks he can work his Creepy magic on Audrey to turn her against CTU. Probably the same magic he worked on Shari.

10:06 – Robocop has henchmen too!

10:07 – Secret Service guy got Wayne back to retreat, and he wants to know what’s going on too. Evelyn (Mrs. Manilow’s assistant) was giving out information that got President All-State killed!

10:08 – Mrs. Manilow wants to chit-chat while Evelyn just wants to get the heck out of there.

10:09 – Wayne catches up with her, and confronts her about the e-mail. He tells her that unless she lets him know what was in those e-mails, he’ll tell everyone she’s the biggest spammer on the East coast, which is sure to get her in BIG trouble.

10:09 – Yikes! They kidnapped Evelyn’s little girl!

10:11 – She’ll give up the evidence if Wayne can get her daughter back. Someone better tell Jack. He’s good at this sort of thing.

Commercial.

10:16 – Insane Shari and Chloe see the Homeland Security people walking in, as if they were those girls from Deal or No Deal. Without the money. Or Howie.

10:17 – They’re taking over CTU! Madam Haig invoked with Backslash Protocol! Which is much worse than the Frontslash Protocol.

10:18 – Creepy Home Security guy invites Audrey into another room.

10:19 – Jack’s on the phone with Wayne. Wayne gives him the story…..and tells Jack! Woo hoo! That kid is as good as saved.

10:20 – They go to leave, but decide to separate…after all, the bad guys wouldn’t suspect that the woman they’re black mailing and the guy they were just trying to kill would be talking to each other….noooooo.

10:21 – Creepy is talking to Audrey, and he wants her to sign something that blames CTU for everything that happened. Creepy tries to tell Audrey that her career is on the line, if she doesn’t sign that thing. She goes to sign it….and NO…Creepy is denied.

10:22 – Jack calls Audrey, and Jack gives her Wayne’s story. Audrey tells him about the CTU take over. Audrey reminds him that Madam Haig is “in charge here”. Jack thinks Creepy and his padwans are in on the plot. He wants Audrey to get Chloe back on.

10:23 – Whoa! Audrey goes to Madam Haig to sign the papers! That’s how she’ll get Chloe back. Creepy doesn’t want to go along with it, but Haig goes for it. Foolish Mortals. They know nothing of Chloe and her leet haxor skillz.

10:24 – Robocop tells his henchmen that Evalyn will be leaving the presidential retreat soon, and that he’ll take care of the little girl.

Commercial

10:29 – Evalyn’s at her car. Secret Service guy and Wayne get caught by the Emperor..er, I mean Scary VP. They make up a story about picking something up at the retreat, and Scary tries to use his mind powers to find out why he’s there. Doesn’t look like Scary bought the story.

10:33 – Bill tells Chloe that everything will be OK. Creepy tells Bill and Chloe about the paper, and Audrey tells Bill that she agreed with what she signed. Bill looks at her like he just found out that he could have been paying less for his car insurance.

10:34 – Wayne and Evelyn are driving on the road. She probably wouldn’t be in the car if she knew about Wayne’s LAST ride in a car. She’s upset about President All-State still. She gets a phone call from Robocop, and Jack’s on the line listening.

10:35 – Robocop knew that Wayne was there, but lets Amy (the daughter) talk to Evelyn. He wants her to go to 40615 Tarpen Street, stop at the local McDonald’s for a Happy Meal, a big Mac, and one of those yummy cherry pies….and to bring some information.

10:37 – Jack calls Audrey with the address. Audrey and Bill exchange looks, and Bill looks like he found out that he won’t be back next season and is almost in tears. This Audrey crying thing must be catching. Audrey goes to talk to Chloe who doesn’t EVEN look in the mood to talk. Audrey tells Chloe why she signed the paper (to get Chloe back near a CTU computer).

Commercial

10:41 – Creepy farm house exterior, with Wayne and Evelyn inside. Someone drives up….good thing they thought to hide in a barn in the middle of no where. They hide behind a board, because boards in barns are bullet proof. It’s just Jack…who enters from the back of the barn. Wayne looks like he feels silly for forgetting the old “Sneaking in the back entrance of the barn” trick.

10:43 – Jack makes a phone call on that “never looses a signal” phone, and calls Chloe. Chloe uploads real-time information to Jack’s super PDA.

10:44 – Wayne wants to go with Jack, and WAYNE looks like he’s going to cry when Jack says no. Audrey’s disease strikes again, so Jack changes his mind since Audrey has that effect on him.

10:45 – Scary VP sneaks up on President Manilow, who’s self congratulating himself about the day. Scary finds out that Evelyn and President All-State where buddies… oh oh… not good info to tell Emperor Scary.

10:46 – Jack tell’s Evelyn to be careful and she drives off for that McDonald’s happy meal.

10:47 – Chloe uploads MORE information to Jack’s super PDA (this thing must have 50gig on it), and pinpoints a bad guy for Jack to shoot. He looks happy, but disappointed that he’ll have to wait to do that until after the commercial.

Commercial

10:52 – Abandoned factory….Robocop is there with his henchmen. Wayne and Jack find someone to shoot, and Jack does so.

10:53 – Jack outsources one of his henchmen kills to Wayne, and Jack looks disappointed.

10:54 – Chloe’s on the phone with Wayne. Wayne shoots the guy he’s supposed to, but doesn’t look like he wanted to….

10:55 – Jack’s sneaks up on one of the henchmen and kills him. Jack screws around with the walkie-talkie they were using, and disguises his voice so he can talk to Robocop. He picks up the gun with the scope and aims it at Evelyn’s car that just pulled up.

10:56 – Robocop gives Evelyn instructions and heads out to meet Evelyn at the car. Evelyn ducks, and Jack starts shooting. Wayne and Jack shoot everyone else including Evelyn, but miss Robocop, who gets away.

10:59 – Evelyn tells Jack that it WASN’T Scary that was behind this whole plot. It was MANILOW!

11:00 – Time’s up!

24: 9pm to 10pm

Dave Barry has a blog where people post comments on the show “24”, and make comments on all the crazy things they see on the show. I post over there too. I write this entire thing while I’m watching the show, and post about 10 or 20 minutes after the show’s over.

—–

9:00 pm – Bill wants Chloe to check on Audrey about suspicious activity. Bill tells Audrey she’s being taken into custody, and she asks if she’s under arrest. That Audrey…She’s pretty quick on the uptake.

9:01 pm – Jack tells Terrorist Woman that he’ll make this the worst day of her life, and threatens to let Geraldo interview her.

9:02 pm – Madam Haig wants to use drugs to get the truth out of Audrey. Bill tells her that all she has to do is look at her cross-eyed, and she’ll burst into tears.

9:03 pm – Jack wants to talk to Audrey directly, and reminds Madam Haig that Audrey’s father eats people alive. Apparently he’s a troll of some sort. Doh! If only The Hobbit were around to verify.

9:04 pm – Bill tells Jack that Impeccable English Speaking Terrorist (IEST) is going to release the gas sometime during the next hour. Going by the “24” rule, that means it’ll be close to 10pm.

9:08 pm – Fight in a dark area in LA, the cops come in and get jumped by terrorists faking the fight. IEST did this to get a police escort.

9:09 pm – Chloe finds dirt on Audrey. Jack gives her a handiwipe to use, but Chloe says that’s not what she meant. Audrey is having an affair with Robocop! Jack doesn’t like this ONE bit.

9:10 pm – Audrey’s in the room, and hasn’t burst into tears yet….mighty suspicious.

Commercial – Jack Bauer is moonlighting as David Breckenridge in a movie called “The Sentinel”? Wasn’t that an old movie about a guardian at the gate of Hell? Does this mean that Jack’s going to take on Hell itself next? This is so confusing….

9:14 – Sherry from Section 5 reports to Chloe….as an Edgar replacement. Chloe tells her that she’s COMPLETELY the wrong shape and size. Sherry looks over at Edgar’s workstation, and asks how she’ll get rid of all the Ho-Ho wrappers. Sherry sees the creepy Homeland Security guy, and Creepy seems to recognize her.

9:15 – Jack goes to see Audrey, says “Hi”, asks how she is, and how long she’s been a crazy Russian terrorist. Audrey tries to talk her way out of it, and Jack pulls the pictures out of Weasel and Robocop. She tries to lie about Robocop, and Jack catches her at it. T-minus 1 minute to tears.

9:16 – Tears!

9:17 – Jack isn’t buying it, slides the table away and goes to choke her.

9:20 – Madam Haig wants to give Audrey those drugs, and sends in the drug guy.

9:21 – Chloe tells Sherry to upload information, and Sherry looks like she was asked to semaphore the lower level of a TCP/IP stack using Cobol.

9:21 – Creepy Homeland Security guy comes over and tells Sherry that she’s not qualified to replace Edgar because she’s not cleared, doesn’t have the training, and can’t eat nearly enough Twinkies.

9:22 – Turns out that Creepy harassed Sherry in the past. Color me shocked.

9:22 – Jack doesn’t want Audrey taken, and gets tasered AND hand-cuffed (after taking out a guard). Audrey tells them that’s NOT how to apply handcuffs properly, and then shuts up when she realizes she actually said that out loud.

Commercial

9:27 – Robocop gets a phone call from the guys that tried to take out Allstate’s brother Wayne.

9:28 – Secret Service guy wonders where Wayne is, and asks another agent if he’s seen Wayne or Garth. The agent tells him he wasn’t allowed up that late.

9:29 – Jack tries to patiently explain to Madam Haig that Robocop is probably lying, but Madam Haig REALLY wants to give Audrey those truth drugs. Jack wants Chloe to help him find info on Terrorist Woman.

9:30 – Creepy tries to get Sherry in trouble, and Chloe stands up to him by pointing out that she can probably dig up pictures of him from the Internet. He gets a scared look on his face and backs off.

9:31 – Terrorist Ice Cream truck drives up to a guard, and when the guard orders a Creamsicle, they shoot him. IEST strikes various modeling poses while waiting for the canisters to be unloaded from the truck. They enter the natural gas building.

9:34 – They find two guys, and ask who’s in charge. FIRST RULE: If someone scary looking asks to see a control room, don’t ask who they are, because this will get the other person with you shot. He lets them into the control room, where they promptly shoot another guy who tells the first unshot guy not do do what they say. SECOND RULE: Don’t tell people with guns things they don’t want to hear. Unshot guy runs off to reduce pressure in the lines.

Commercial – Visa ….A whole lot of people in conference rooms asking “What would so-and-so” do…..and NOT ONCE do they ask “What would Jack do”? Jack would know. I’m sure of it.

9:39 – Secret service guy in the woods looking for Allstate’s brother, and is snuck up on by….Allstates’ brother…who has a gun. Where did he get that?? It must have been one of those guns you get in storm drains… the ones marked “Break glass in case of getting car shot on the road by mysterious van”.

9:40 – Audrey’s sweating in the interrogation room, and the interrogation involves a LOT of yelling and more table pushing around. She’s making up for a LOT of time not crying, because she’s crying a lot now.

9:41 – Chloe finds out that Terrorist Woman has been talking to Robocop, and voila! The immunity agreement is voided! Jack looks excited he gets to interrogate Terrorist Woman.

9:42 – The guard who’s guarding Terrorist Woman must be a new guy, because he starts trying to pull rank on Jack. Jack knocks him out with one punch, and looks kinda surprised that’s all it took.

9:43 – Terrorist Woman admits she was lying about Audrey, and tells Jack they’re in a natural gas distribution center but doesn’t know which one.

9:44 – Jack runs in to save Audrey…and yells really loud to get rid of Interrogation Guy. Jack and Audrey kiss because there hasn’t been a tender moment in several episodes.

9: 45 – Bill calls Jack about the gaslines. Sherry speaks up and says that she just happens to be a chemistry major, and to check gas pressure in the tanks.

Then just after Bill left, she says “Did you notice that? The way he brushed up against my shoulder? He shouldn’t have done that.” Even Chloe has a “Oh my….Maybe Creepy was right!” They replaced our lovable Edgar with a psycho chemist!

9:46 – Secret Service Guy and Wayne return to Wayne’s car, because that’s the LAST place the van guys would look. Oh, whoops. These guys have stinger missiles too. Does every bad guy on the show have those? Fortunately, they don’t have many brains because Secret Service SUVs are bullet proof and Secret Service guy drives off.

Commercial

9:52 – Helicopter, and Jack’s in it. Chloe says Jack has 4 minutes because this hour of the show is almost over.

9:53 – Terrorists with gas masks are playing with the canisters…. the canisters now have flashing lights and make funny noises when you touch ’em. Just to be sure we know they’re RUSSIAN terrorists, IEST tells them to get back and one says “DA”.

9;54 – Jack is still headed to the natural gas terminal, and he looks ready to jump out. They’re using one of those silent helicopters so that Jack can sneak up on them….. and down a rope they go.

9:54 – PSI in the pipes is down to 54%, and Madam Haig still looks mad they’re done with Audrey.

9:55 – Inside the gas plant, Jack and Curtis shoot a couple of terrorists and then Jack tells everyone to take their silencers off because the guns will be louder that way.

9:56 – Gun fight! Canisters going off! Jack wants to blow up the plant to stop the gas! That’s our boy Jack!

9:57 – IEST looks a little nervous that he didn’t plan a better escape route. Jack sets an explosive device in the plant.

9:58 – Explosions and Jack looks pretty happy he was the one that got to do that.

9:59 – Fight with IEST! Explosions!! Jack pulls IEST into the police car!!! More Explosions!!!! I’m running out of exclamation points!!!!!

10: 00 – Cut to clock at “10:00:00”!

——————
After the show was over, someone pointed out that Audrey was with Weasel, not Robocop. Doh! That’s what I get for trying to watch and type at the same time.

This show would be so much easier to follow if they used nicknames.

24: The following occurred between 8pm to 9pm

I join the folks over on Dave Barry’s Blog on Monday nights to do a Mystery Science Theater style commentary about the TV show 24. People seem to like it there, so I’m reposting it here:

8:00 pm – A sheet over Tony. Yep…Tony’s dead. Either that or he’s going to be a ghost for Halloween.

8:01 – Audrey says Robocop got away. Chloe hacked Robocop’s computer, and found the name of the lady terrorist. Jack hitches a ride with Curtis.

8:02 – VP Scary has handed a speech to Manilow, and it looks like he’s going to shut down Los Angeles. He says that all he has to do is shut down the Hollywood sign, and everything will come to a stand-still.

8:03 – Manilow calls a curfew, and fortunately, everyone in LA being a law abiding citizen, there will be no problem implementing this plan.

8:04 – Madam Haig enters and tells her plan to take ahold of CTU. Bill greets her, and tells her that they’re still looking for a replacement Edgar.

8:05 – Homeland Security Guy (HSG) wants to take over Edgar’s station, and Chloe doesn’t think he can do it. I mean, this guy doesn’t look like he’s had a Ho-Ho in his life.

8:06 – Secret Service guy gets a call from President All-State’s brother, with a delivery. The secret service guy looks worried that it may be an insurance premium.

8:07 – Oh great. VP Scary just said “I’m in control”. Now he’s asking for Anakin.

8:09 – Bill tells Madam Haig that they’ll be back up to strength as soon as they get their replacement Edgar.

8:11 – Whoa! The guy in bed with Terrorist Woman is Desmond from “LOST”! So that’s where he went!

8:12 – Terrorist Woman is on the phone with Impeccable English Speaking Terrorist (IEST). She has the plans, schematics, and access codes for the hatch.

8:13 – IEST plans on gassing 200,000 people in LA by releasing the gas in the line for American Idol auditions.

Commercial

8:17 – Bill finally caught on that yet another person wants his job. Madam Haig tells Bill that she’s taking over. We all know how well it went the last time someone tried to take over Bill’s job. She’s messing with Bill’s computer’s and he looks nervous that she’ll find his “personal” folder.

8:18 – Audrey is catching on that something weird is going on in CTU. The HS guy gives her this weird “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” stare.

8:19 – Jack is in the Terrorist Woman’s apartment, but can’t find her. Curtis heads upstairs to the roof, since the roof of a 20-story building in LA makes for a good escape route.

8:20 – Desmond jumps Curtis! Desmond asks if Curtis knows the code word, and if he’s a replacement from the Dharma Initiative.

8:21 – Desmond says he’s a secret agent for the Germans, and if they don’t believe him, ask John Locke.

8:24 – Desmond tells Jack that Jack can’t touch him. Heh. He don’t know Jack!

Commercial

8:28 – Terrorist Woman arrives at Terrorist Headquarters.

8:29 – Audrey is arguing with someone on the phone, and threatens to cry.

8:30 – The Germans won’t let Desmond talk. Something about the Island, different networks, and giving away the ending. Jack asks Curtis to leave.

8:31 – Jack offers Desmond a “wet list”, in exchange for Terrorist Woman’s info. Desmond says that Jack shouldn’t try and be tricky, because he has a couple names from the passenger list already.

8:32 – Jack wants Chloe to hack the NSA. Chloe says she can’t do it because she doesn’t have a key card. As if that stopped her before! Chloe spills Homeland Security coffee on Homeland Security guy’s Homeland Security pants. He goes to the Homeland Security bathroom to clean up.

8:33 – Chloe grabs a keycard and starts typing. She’s on the phone with Jack while hacking into the NSA’s computer, and uploads it to Jack on the Jack phone. Chloe gets away with it…apparently. Homeland Security guy looks Homeland Security suspicious.

8:34 – Jack shows the list to Desmond, who says it looks like the right passenger list. He gives it back to Jack, and tells him to go to Oceanic Airlines at the airport in car lot C.

8:35 – Terrorist Woman asks to have money transferred from IEST, and she tells him the code is “4 8 15 16 23 42”. They enter the code, and IEST tells them to torch the place as Terrorist Woman leaves.

8:41 – VP Scary is in more trouble with one of the governors than with Manilow. One of VP Scary’s padawans tells him that Allstate’s brother is on the way. The road block lets him through.

8:42 – Desmond tells Jack that Terrorist Woman has spider sense and won’t show herself if she senses danger. Desmond still seems to have a crush on Terrorist Woman, probably because he’s been in that hatch for so long.

8:43 – Back at CTU, Bill asks to talk to Chloe. Madam Haig tries to confront Chloe, and they know they Chloe sent a document to Jack. Bill and Madam Haig completely freak out when they find out that Chloe sent the “wet list” to Jack. Homeland Security Guy is giving Chloe another one of his Invasion Stares.

8:44 – Jack, for some reason has his phone on RING. Desmond insists on hearing everything on speaker phone, mainly because if Jack just uses his ear piece to talk, Jack will look like a homeless guy carrying on a one-sided conversation.

8:44 – Madam Haig wants that “wet list” back, and Jack pulls a gun on Desmond. She tells Jack that she’ll get Curtis to take that card back, and Jack tells HER that she’ll be responsible for every live lost. (love-15, advantage Bauer). She tries to pull the “we need authorization” card on Jack, which doesn’t work (love-30, Bauer). Then when Jack says there’s a car coming with Terrorist Woman, she asks if he can guarantee that’s her. Jack says no, but does Madam Haig want to be responsible? (love-40, Bauer) Jack keeps standing up to her, and she finally gives in. (Game to Bauer!) Madam Haig says there will be “repercussions”. Jack tells her she can have all the cussions she wants, and hangs up.
Jack asks Desmond if they’re “alright”.

8:46 – Desmond gets out of the car, so does Terrorist Woman, and they move in. Desmond gets in a car and drives off.

8:48 – Terrorist Woman won’t talk, and as Desmond drives away, he tries to upload the “wet list” to his contacts. Apparently it’s not Windows compatible, because much like a strawberry Pop-Tart, it burst into flames for no apparent reason. He gets a phone call from Jack, who says he’ll help him install Windows. Desmond tells Jack he’s going to have to call technical support and now he’s REALLY mad at Jack.

Commercial

8:54 – Terrorist Woman still won’t talk. Jack keeps asking questions, and she whines about Desmond. For the second time tonight, Jack tells Curtis to leave. Terrorist Woman tells him that IEST is probably gone. She wants diplomatic immunity because she has a TON of parking tickets.

8:55 – Jack gets on the phone with CTU. Madam Haig says “for the record” for about the 10th time tonight. For the record.

8:57 – A car is following Allstate’s brother, and is speeding up. Van door opens up, and shoots the car which goes off into a ditch. Guys get out of the van headed to the car. Allstate’s brother gets out, and heads for a drainage tunnel to get away.

8:59 – Terrorist Woman’s on the phone with a Terrorist Lawyer. She gives Jack the location of IEST, and that AUDREY SOLD HER THE SCHEMATIC INFO.

Jack’s a little upset about that, because he knows Audrey is going to try and cry her way out of this.

24: 7pm to 8pm

I join the folks over on Dave Barry’s Blog on Monday nights to do a Mystery Science Theater” style commentary about the TV show . People seem to like it there, so I’m reposting it here:

7pm – Someone on a loud speaker is stating the completely obvious, which is don’t leave the sealed rooms. You’d think the dead bodies would be the first clue.

7:01 – The gas masks are completely safe in the gas filled rooms. No danger of human contamination.

7:02 – Jack wants Chloe to go back to her job, but she’s still upset about Edgar. The camera pans to Edgar who tries to get up, but someone off-stage pushes him back down.

7:03 – “Barry” to the rescue, to try and talk to Chloe. He starts singing “Mandy”.

7:04 – A red shirt guard starts to dress down The Hobbit for not reporting that he got beaten up. The Red Shirt guard can sympathize about getting beaten up, but is mad.

7:05 – Jack talks to the Doctor, and Tony finds out that Buckaroo is there. Tony jumps the doctor, and grabs a gun from the guy guarding Buckaroo.

7:06 – Tony tells Buckaroo – “My Name is Tony Almeda. You killed my wife. Prepare to die.”

7:08 – Jack talks Tony out of shooting Buckaroo, reminding him he really liked when Buckaroo was in Robocop.

7:09 – Jack asks about the truth serum, the guy who gave it to him said that more would kill him. Tony says he’s OK with that. Edgar peeks up from behind a desk.

7:10 – Vice President Scary and President Manilow is on the phone with Madam Alexandra Haig, who declares herself “in charge here”.

7:11 – VP Scary thinks it’s possible to clear the streets of LA all people. I suspect he’s planning on using the same system they used to get rid of the cars.

7:12 – A terrorist flunky asks IEST (Impecible English Speaking Terrorist) what he wants to do next, and IEST says “I’m going to Disney World!” When they remind him they’re in California, he decides to release all the rest of the gas instead.

Commercial

7:17 – Jack interrupts “Barry”, who tells Jack to back off of Chloe… And Jack starts to strangle him for going after Kim. Barry promises not to sing again.

7:18 – Warning message on the monitors say that the seals are breaking down! Chloe thinks it’s acid mixed with the gas, but if they look near the floor, they’d see Edgar has scooted up to the window and is trying to break back in, as if nothing happened.

7:19 – Cheney Looking Guy (CLG) is on the phone trying to convince VP Scary that he’s not interested in “usurping his position”, and that, no, he’s not interested in going to see Broke Back Mountain either. Mrs. Cleavage Manilow is surprised VP Scary is making policy….after all, that’s HER job. CLG tells Cleavage she needs to do something about it. She starts to have a nervous breakdown. CLG says that he meant that she should talk to President Manilow, not have a breakdown.

7:21 – Bill gets on the speaker system to let the other people in the other locked rooms that unless they’re very very careful, Edgar will break into one of their rooms to try and rejoin the cast. And also that the gas is in danger of getting through the seals. They’re going to have to help themselves. Edgar hears “help themselves” and starts rifling through the lunches people brought.

7:22 – Jack wants Chloe to access the ventilation system, and she refuses because there’s gas out there and stuff. Jack tells her to use her computer instead. She says there’s a computer in another part of CTU that can help vent the gas, and by an amazing coincidence, they have a way to get there through a false panel in the wall right behind her! Everyone turns to the camera and gives the “Do you believe that?” look.

7:24 – Jack takes a deep breath, and goes in!

Commercial

7:28 – Jack’s crawling around the insides of CTU, comes out somewhere and tapes the floor off, blocking Edgar who was right behind him.

7:30 – He’s going into the contaminated area, and prys open a wall panel, only to see that someone has been messing with the computers. It looks like someone installed Mac drivers on a Windows machine.

7:31 – Kim snaps at Chloe, and “Barry” says to “breathe”. Chloe says “What’s with your ‘breathing’? Is that your solution for everything?” I’m not sure what I can add to that.

7:32 – Jack gets to take a breath! Two minutes!

7:32 – They can’t get to the computer. They figure that The Hobbit is in Holding Room 4, and they want him to go to the computer to start the vents going. And, uh, whoops…. there’s no place to go after that, so he’ll, um….die.

7:33 – The Red Shirt guard realizes that they’ll BOTH die, and Jack tells him to look at the shirt color he’s got on, and think Star Trek. Edgar can be heard in the background…. “Don’t do it! It’s a bad career move! You’ll be out of the show!”. Red Shirt doesn’t understand until Edgar says “Think Tasha Yar!”.

7:34 – The Hobbit tells Red Shirt that they have to go to Mount Doom. Red Shirt doesn’t like this one bit.

Commercial

7:39 – Kim apologies to Chloe. Chloe is having a bad day. Edgar yells “So am I!”

7:41 – Red Shirt’s on the phone with his daughter to say his final goodbye. 🙁

7:42 – The Hobbit opens the door, starts running for the computer and restores the program. It’s going to take 15 minutes He made it back to the room.

7:43 – Jack thanks them both. Red Shirt thinks he’s OK…..but he dies. The Hobbit starts to shake and dies too.

7:46 – Buckaroo still isn’t talking. Jack wants Chloe to work on Buckaroo’s disk. Kim tells Jack that she doesn’t want to be around him. Kim says she noticed that people die when Jack’s around them. She runs to “Barry”. Audrey asks Jack if he’s OK, and he says “No”. Edgar yells “I’m not OK either!”

Commercial

7:51 – Manilow thinks that VP Scary’s idea is just great and sees to problem with telling the eleventy-bazillion people in LA that they can’t go outside, or try and leave, or anything like that. Nope, he’s thought it through, and he sees no problem. He’s sure everyone will cooperate. Mrs. Manilow tells him that VP Scary is pulling his strings. Manilow starts to tear up, and HE starts singing “Mandy”.

7:52 – Terrorist gets a phone call, and IEST calls a female terrorist, who hangs up on him because she still needs to get info. Oh, and she’s wearing a negligee and is with some guy in an apartment. Typical terrorists.

7:53 – Bill gets a phone call from Madam Haig in Homeland Security, who says she’s in charge. Bill looks pretty upset because first The Dead Hobbit wanted to take over his job, and now SHE does. Bill says he’ll need about 20 in comm, 35 in tactical, and one Edgar. She tells Bill he’ll be there in a minute.

7:54 – Madam Haig wants to take down CTU, and send everyone home! They’re reformating computers! Chloe’s gonna be mad about that! Offscreen, Edgar yelling “SEE! SEE! I TOLD YOU!”

7:57 – Jack tells “Barry” to get Kim out of the city, NOT turn back, and not to sing. Edgar tries to mix in with the crowd as everyone is leaving the rooms they were in, and a giant hook from stage left grabs him, but he doesn’t move. Then a second hook grabs him and he gets pulled off stage.

7:58 – Tony says Buckaroo looks dead and stuff. Jack tries to tell him not to kill Buckaroo, and that he’d regret it.

7:58 – Tony knocks out the other agent, and Tony pulls a hypo to stab Buckaroo, but he can’t do it. BUCKAROO RETURNS TO LIFE AS ROBOCOP AND STABS TONY WITH THE HYPO!

7:59 – Jack finds Tony and tries to call for help. Tony says that Michelle is gone, and dies in Jack’s arms.
—–

Are they going to kill EVERYONE?

24: 6pm to 7pm

I join the folks over on Dave Barry’s Blog on Monday nights to do a Mystery Science Theater” style commentary about the TV show . People seem to like it there, so I’m reposting it here:

6 pm – Terrorist car guy, having just shot The Hobbit’s sister and boyfriend, leaves the building to go reprogram the key card in his car, where all terrorist keep their computer equipment, and do a Michael Jackson “Black and White” morph.

6:02 – Manilow yells some more at Bill at CTU, wanting to know what’s going on. Bill says that, apparently, Manilow is actually President of the United States, but he has no explanation for this.

6:04 – Kim Bauer, Jack’s daughter is at CTU! Audrey sees her and almost cries.

6:05 – Audrey tells Jack that she almost cried when she saw him, and Jack tells Audrey she cries at everything. Jack gives her the OK. She starts crying, and Jack tells that’s not what he meant. She can go ahead and tell Kim.

6:06 – Kim introduces Audrey to “Barry”. Audrey says that if “Barry” comes in contact with President Manilow, the universe will implode, and that Jack is alive.

6:07 – Kim looks as if she just found out that she’s making less money than everyone else in the case.

6:08 – There’s a Scary looking guy in waiting for Manilow, and it turns out he’s the vice-president. Since he’s second in command, I have absolutely no expectations for this guy whatsoever. I’m surprised this guy is actually breathing. Cheney Looking Guy looks surprised too, because he thought HE was the vice-president.

6:09- The Scary Vice President (SVP) appears to have more guts that Manilow himself, although he’s already starting to do Scary things. Manilow will let ANYONE talk him into ANYTHING. I’m just waiting for Scary to tell Manilow to do the Riverdance, because in the state he’s in, Manilow might just do it.

6:11 – Buckaroo is trying to make a deal with Jack, but won’t tell Jack what he wants to know. Jack’s having none of it, because if he knew the whole plot the show would end early.

6:12 – Terrorist car guy is IN CTU! This can’t be good.

6:17 – Curtis is on his way back. Jack is back. Kim is back. Everyone’s back. Even “Barry”.

6:18 – Jack goes to see his daughter, Kim, because he always has time for touching moments during the middle of terrorists situations. Kim’s mad. And “Barry” mouths off to Jack. Baaaaaad idea, “Barry”.

6:20 – Kim doesn’t want to her Jack’s explanation, and wants to leave. Jack asks her to stay, but she needs to talk to “Barry”. Kim begins to do an Audrey impression, and starts to cry.

6:21 – Terrorist Car Guy has a gizmo with the layout of CTU, which is as accessible to terrorists as Manilow’s cell phone number. He goes into what looks like the server room, and looks fans that lead to the ventilation system. My guess is that he’s not going to be putting apple pies in there so everyone can get a nice whiff.

6:22 – Tony’s back in the hospital area of CTU. He confronts Bill and wants to know what’s going on, but Bill says he can’t tell him. Tony wants to know who killed Michelle. I think that if Tony spots Buckaroo, Buckaroo is going to go “Banzai” at the hands of Tony.

6:25 – Buckaroo is strapped into the chair in the interrogation room, and Jack finds out that Kim is dating her shrink. Jack thinks that Robocop is going to be a tough nut to crack. Edgar pops up and asks Jack if he means “Beer Nuts”.

6:27 – Robocop ain’t talking, so he lets a random CTU guy start pumping Robocop up with some CTU drugs that make Robo press his lips together really hard. Jack tells random CTU guy to use the drugs that loosen his lips, not tighten them.

6:32 – Mrs. Manilow’s outside for a smoke and Cheney Looking Guy says that Manilow needs her. Cheney Looking Guy wants Mrs. Manilow to stop Scary Vice President.

6:35 – Yup…server room. Terrorist guy just shut down the ventilation system. Kerry tries to warn Edgar, but since she has no food, he snaps at her. She goes to check out the problem with the vent system.

6:36 – Mrs. Manilow goes to see Manilow, who tries to look aloof, which is good, because he’s been acting like a Loof. He asks her to forgive him, and they share a tender moment. Edgar hears this, and calls to ask about “Tender Vittles”, but they tell him to get back to work.

6:38 – Kerry goes into the server room to check and sees the vents. She tries to make a phone call with her cell phone, and for the first time in the last hour and thirty-eight minutes, the cell signal doesn’t work because of the cement walls. Terrorist Guy kills her.

6:43 – Terrorist Guy places the canister to go off in 15 minutes, which again, is the top of the hour, the time for all critical plot twists.

6:44 – Kim goes to see Chloe, and Chloe confesses that she knew Jack was alive. Chloe tells Kim to cut Jack some slack, since President All-State and Michelle bought the farm, Tony nearly bought a small garden, and Chloe narrowly escaped buying a timeshare.

6:45 – Bill goes to see The Hobbit, and tells The Hobbit that LAPD found his sister dead. The Hobbit says that’s impossible. The LAPD would have taken weeks to find that out. The Hobbit seems pretty broken up, because Gandalf isn’t coming. The Hobbit admits that the CTU key card was taken.

6:47 – Bill calls Chloe to check the card, and Chloe finds that the card was used! IT’S LOCKDOWN TIME!

6:48 – Buckaroo is made of pretty tough stuff. (They haven’t figured out he’s really Robocop yet) A buzzer on the medical device, the CTU lockdown signal and Jack’s phone go off at the same time. No one thinks this is the least bit strange. I suspect Edgar’s messing the the computers to distract everyone while he raids the candy machine.

6:52 – Bill sends Jack into the North entrance. Red shirt guard, in grand Star Trek tradition, gets beaten up and taken hostage.

6:54 – Terrorist guy shoots him when an alarm goes off when they try and use a service entrance, which was clearly marked “SERVICE ENTRANCE. ALARM WILL SOUND”. Terrorist guy grabs a walkie-talkie for his kid.

6:55 – Jack finds the dead guard and notices that the walkie-talkie is missing. Jack sends a fake message to Audrey and Bill about where the terrorist is, and she sees him onscreen so she knows what he’s up to. Edgar behind Audrey and Bill, and is in the background shaking a candy machine.

6:56 – Terrorist Guy goes to leave, and Jack catches him. Terrorist Guy drops the gun, tries to shoot Jack with another gun (do NONE of these guys know about Jack?) and Jack kills him.

6:57 – Jack finds the device on Dead Terrorist Guy, and tells Bill about the little device that Dead Terrorist Guy had. Bill orders an immediate Code 6 evacuation. The phone rings, Chloe picks it up. Edgar is in the server room, finds Kerry dead, and leaves the room just as the canister starts passing gas.

6:58 – Gas is in CTU, and people are dying. Chloe does the lockdown.

6:59 – Robocop looks like he’s in stasis. People are dying all over the place.

Edgar runs back into the room, sees that he’s sealed off and dies.

Ah man! Not Edgar!

This stinks.

24: 5pm to 6pm

I join the folks over on Dave Barry’s Blog on Monday nights to do a Mystery Science Theater” style commentary about the TV show . People seem to like it there, so I’m reposting it here:

5 pm – Bill goes in to see Tony, and the Doctor doesn’t want to tell him about Michelle’s death. Tony has a silly straw up his nose, and Bill tries to keep a straight face while talking to him.

5:01 – The Secret Service agents decide it’d be just fine to let the Russians and Mrs. Manilow stand out in the wide open, because no one would attack them in the wide open.

5:05 – Impecible English Speaking Terrorist (IEST), who apparently has quite a few Terrorist Engineers at his disposal, talks to Terrorist car guy about the plan. You’d think by now that the governement would have screened for this

5:05 – Terrorist car guy calls the boyfriend of The Hobbits sister, and the boyfriend wants to sell the Terrorist guy the Hobbit’s access card. I see NO problem in store for them whatsoever.

5:06 – Manilow starts yelling at Cheney Looking Guy and starts acting manly. Apparently he’s been reading this blog

5:07 – Jack’s calling in on speaker phone, saying that the servers were blown up. Chloe hears this and looks really mad about the servers. Jack’s going after Robocop, who is disguised as a human named Buckaroo Banzai

5:08 – Buckaroo is on the phone, and gets voice mail when he calls. “Dial 1 if you’re a terrorist waiting for a money drop, Dial 2 if you’re a terrorist that just blew up someone he knows, Dial 3 if you’re a terrorist that needs plans for a weapon, Dial 0 to reach an operator”. He dials 2.

5:09 – Curtis is using his cell phone inside CTU, which, as you may have noticed, has cement walls specially constructed to allow cell phones to work right through them, unlike the rest of the country where cell phones can be blocked by a stiff wind.

5:12 – Tony talks to the doctor and pulls out the straw from his nose. He sees the giant cotton pad on his face, and rips it off. The cotton pad, not his face.
Tony goes to the computer, looks up Michelle, and the computer comes up with her record as deceased.

5:17 – A helicopter arrives with Mrs. Manilow and the Russians, and SHE’S MAD! She’s finally figured out that he’s a wimp.

5:18 – Manilow lets President Russian in on the whole plot, except that pesky part where he knew this was all going to happen. He tries to pass off the missle shot at the car and the flame thrower as an “American custom”, but it doesn’t look like President Russian is buying it.

5:20 – Bill goes to talk to The Hobbit, who looks MAD. (Everyone looks mad tonight!) The Hobbit wants to call his sister, who is secretly believes will call Gandalf for some help. He also wants the keycard for Mordor, but the boyfriend wants to sell it. I still see no problem with his plan.

5:22 – Manilow wants to go see Mrs. Manilow, and he backs down from Mrs. Manilow’s assistant, after calling her Ellen and Evalyn Good career move!

5:23 – Edgar has a match! And some cheese doodles! And the right place for where the terrorists might hit… It’s a grocery store! Edgar runs out in a panic, screaming at the top of his lungs, until Chloe points out that it’s a hospital that the terrorists might hit.

5:24 – A terrorist, dressed as an orderly, comes out of the hospital closet…..er, so to speak. He put a canister under gurney. He giggles as he says the word “gurney”.

5:29 – Jack’s outside Buckaroo’s house, talking to Audrey on the phone. She tells him about the hospital attack. He sees Buckaroo’s wife

5:30 – Curtis is on the phone to the hospital, telling him that the nerve gas will go off in about 30 minutes. The hospital guy on the phone tries to tell Curtis that it’s a big hospital, and it’ll take more time, and if he could please have more time to do it.

5:31 – Mrs. Buckaroo looks worried, but stands up to Jack better than President Manilow would.

5:32 – Mrs. Buckaroo looks at the Buckaroo’s Terrorist computer, which appears to be a Mac, which is suspicious, considering that most of them use Windows.

5:33 – Top Secret Service guy goes to see Mrs. Manilow, and she thanks him. He thanks her for the opportunity to shoot people. She squeezes his hand.

5:34 – Cheney Looking Guy interrupts, and she tells him that the president can go “convey” himself. Cheney Looking Guy is mad that Top Secret Service guy didn’t squeeze his hand too.

5:35 – The hospital. Apparently Michael Bolton has entered the building, because people are FLOODING out of it. The hospital admin says that the high risk newborns are stuck there, and Curtis looks concerned they might actually hear the Michael Bolton music.

5:36 – Terrorist guy at the hospital calls IEST guy, and tells him to go to the basement and call from there. Even the hospital has those amazing cell phone friendly cement walls!

5:41 – Audrey give the background on IEST guy to President Manilow.

5:42 – Chloe finds out that Buckaroo has been downloading illegal music files!

5:43 – Jack patiently tries to explain AGAIN to Mrs. Buckaroo that Buckaroo tried to kill him. By blowing him up. Mrs. Buckaroo says that Jack must have misunderstood the bombing, and that Buckaroo must have been joking! Ha! That card! Now she accuses Jack of being a hater.

5:44 – Chloe find a shadow drive on the computer, using that amazing networking software of hers. Mrs. Buckaroo doesn’t know the password.

5:44 – Hospital again, the security there is actually on the ball, having seen the Terrorist Hospital Guy on camera. Curtis takes a few security guards downstairs to find Terrorist Hospital Guy, while taking advantage of that amazing cell phone friendly cement.

5:45 – Terrorist Hospital Guy sets the bomb timer for 10 minutes, because he knows that all major plot twists occur near the top of the hour.

5:46 – Curtis tells Terrorist Hospital Guy to freeze, and when he doesn’t , Curtis uses some bullets to make him freeze. He’s frozen now.

5:47 – Curtis finds the canister on the gurney, and one of the guards tries to touch it because he’s clearly an idiot. Most people would see a scary looking mechanical device sitting on a gurney with blinking lights (the device, not the gurney), having been put there by a terrorist that just got shot and think “Oooo! Shiny!”

5:52 – Hospital again, and the Intel bunny suit guys are entering the building.

5:52 – Chloe won’t be able to analyze the encryption in time.

5:53 – Jack jumps Buckaroo! Mrs. Buckaroo still doesn’t believe Jack. Jack tells her to unlock the briefcase. It’s full of money! Buckaroo tries to convince her that there’s a perfectly innocent explanation.

5:54 – WHOA! Jack shoot MRS. BUCKAROO! Jack threatens to kill her, and Buckaroo tells her that he won’t do a thing. Jack calls an ambulence

5:58 – Remote timer says it’ll go off in 1:11, near the top of the hour, on schedule. They run through a heavily occupied area, and dump it into a glass tank just in time! Yeah, Curtis! I’m not sure I’d take the mask off as fast as Curtis.

5:59 – Hmm… I guess I was wrong about the Terrorist guy in the car and The Hobbit’s Girlfriend and her boyfriend. He shot them. I never saw that coming.

24: 4pm to 5pm

If you’re wondering what this post is about, it’s something a bunch of folks do every week over on Dave Barry’s blog of the show “24”, and here’s my contribution:


4:00 pm – The Russian terrorist, who inexplicably speaks better English that most Americans, gets a call from yet MORE terrorists in the field.

4:01 pm – Manilow finds out that Mrs Manilow is in the limo! Finally, a way out! …No wait…. He wants to stop the motorcade to get her back.

4:03 pm – Manilow calls Mrs. Manilow, and tries to convince her to come back. She hangs up on him! Well, he tried. Guess that’s it for her!

4:06 pm – Manilow realizes that the Russians might find out that Mrs. Manilow has never ridden in a limo. …Oh, and that he gave the terrorists their route so the terrorists could kill them all. Whoops!

4:07 pm – Audrey tells Edgar to meet her in the server room, but won’t tell him why. Edgar looks really hopeful, and pops a breath mint.

4:08 pm – The Hobbit is slowly decending into craziness, and starts asking about Lemba wafers.

4:09 pm – Audrey and Chloe are both in the server room. The Hobbit would never think of looking there. Meanwhile, if Edgar walked in that server room in his present state of mind, he’d probably faint at what he thinks is going to find there.

4:10 pm – Jack gets a phone call from Audrey, and we find out that Jack is going to meet his previous boss’s replacement boss’s boss, that Jack investigated for selling secrets. This is going to be a happy reunion.

4:11 pm – Edgar is shocked to find Audrey and Chloe there together, and immediately demands to know if they’ve already eaten the secret stash of Cheetos Audrey alluded too.

4:12 pm – Manilow keeps thinking of wacky scenarios to get his wife out of the limo. That kook!

4:12 pm – Mrs. Manilow asks about route changes, and says she’s just worried about heavy traffic. Doesn’t she watch this show? There IS no heavy traffic.

COMMERCIAL

4:17 pm – Back at CTU, The Hobbit, asks this new person “Cary” who she’s on the phone with, she says “Homeland Security”, and he fires her. I’m sure she’ll remember that the next time someone asks her that, she will NOT answer “Homeland Security”. I can only imagine what would have happened if she answered “FEMA”.

4:18 pm – Audrey and Chloe get caught by The Hobbit, and Audrey confronts him. Audrey argues long enough to let Chloe send a new security update to the computer system of the company that Jack’s going to. The Hobbit tells Audrey he needs “Precious” and Chloe goes with him.

4:19 pm – Jack bypasses the crack security guard, and gets Audrey to get an assistant to go away from her desk.

4:22 pm – ROBOCOP, CUNNINGLY DISGUISED AS A REGULAR HUMAN, TAZERS JACK!

4:23 pm – Jack tells Robocop that the terrorist have Centox gas, and Robocop swears he only shot a few people, and doesn’t know about the gas.

4:24 pm – Jack asks to see a bunker, and Robocop leads him out of the office.

Commercial – TWENTY FOUR THE GAME!

4:29 pm – Edgar tells Chloe about an intercept, and it appears to be some chatter about the exact situation they’re in on the website by a famous humorist who’s name rhymes with “Brave Dairy”. He’s going to do some further investigating.

4:30 pm – Edgar and Chloe go to The Hobbit to tell him about the chatter that was intercepted, and since it has nothing to do with “Precious”, he doesn’t want to hear about it. He says he’s been embarassed enough for one day. (He’s wrong. There’s PLENTY more to be embarassed about.) Curtis tries to tell him to put people on the threat assessment, and is told to go play with an elf.

4:31 pm – Impecible English Speaking Terrorist (IEST) calls to make sure that there’s still no traffic on any street in LA.

4:32 pm – Audrey goes to The Hobbit to tell him about the threat, and even threatens to cry, but The Hobbit STILL doesn’t want to hear about it, unless it involves The Ring. At this point, I think The Hobbit is in on the plot.

4:33 pm – Chloe instant messenges Edgar to meet in the hall. He sees Chloe and Audrey there, but still no Cheetos.

4:34 pm – Audrey wants Chloe to hack the Hobbits account, so she can send a secret message. Edgar doesn’t want to do it unless he sees some Cheetoes RIGHT NOW. They convince him to help them send the message.

4:34 pm – Audrey tells Curtis that she wants to invoke “Section 112” to get Bill back in charge of CTU. Curtis doesn’t understand how getting Bill to dress up like a circus clown is going to help anything, until he realizes that she said “Section 112”, not “Section 212”. He’s still not sure it will work, since a mad Hobbit is a bad Hobbit, not to mention it’ll be a LOT of paperwork.

4:35 pm – Meanwhile, there’s ZERO traffic on the freeway in LA. That ALONE should make the Russians suspicious.

4:35 pm – Manilow and Cheney-Looking-Guy (CLG) are talking about as much as the end of a scene in a soap opera, right before a commercial…lots of meaningful glances, but ZERO DIALOG. …Wait, Manilow tells a little story his father told him about a man named Jed, who was shooting at some food, and wants to know how this fits in with what the terrorists are doing. (I think it’s a race between The Hobbit and Manilow to see who goes completely berzerk first). Manilow starts blaming Mrs. Manilow for the situation she’s in. Now he wants to pray, and wants CLG to pray too. Apparently he doesn’t know that CLG is a Cthulu worshipper, and that would be a REALLY big problem.

4:38 pm – The jig is up! The Hobbit caught Edgar orange-handed! How could he not notice the Cheetoes dust all over his terminal! Chloe sticks up for him, and so does Audrey. The Hobbit has red-shirted security guards with him, so you know he’s kind of serious. The security guards have no idea what they’re in for, since apparently they’re not familiar with Star Trek theory of security guards wearing red shirts.

4:39 pm – Curtis goes against The Hobbit, invokes Section 112! He is one mad little Hobbit.

COMMERCIAL

4:45 pm – Bill is back! Everyone is back into the swing. Manilow finds out that CTU knows about the terrorist plot, and is speechless. Manilow looks mad. They’re about to save Mrs. Manilow.

4:47 pm – Terrorists are in position…. Secret Service goes into evasive manuvers, a missle is shot at the motorcade and top secret service guy looks like he’s dead. The terrorists machine gun the car, pull a flame thrower out, try that…nothing is doing anything to that car. The top secret service guy is alive, and he looks mad! He opens the door and fires on the terrorists, even blowing up the guy with the flame thrower! YEAH! And secret service guy is going to be OK! YEAH!

4:49 pm – Manilow gets the bad news. His wife is OK. The terrorists are going to be mad. Silly Manilow…. terrorists are ALWAYS mad.

More terrorism! Wait, that’s Amercian Idol, tomorrow. At least they warned us.

4:54 pm – Robocop and Jack finally get to where they’re going. That must be one BIG building. They go into a basement, Robocop says he doesn’t know who’s working on the Centox project, and as a senior VP, he is able to sit down at a terminal and actually use it, which is again…unrealistic.

4:57 pm – Robocop leaves, and when Jack goes to check the phones, they’re all dead. Jack checks the door, and it’s locked. He checks the notepad that Robocop left behind, and it’s got a bomb in it. Jack says he feels stupid. I’m guessing that’s an understatement.

4:58 pm – Robocop leaves, telling whoever is on the phone that CTU doesn’t have enough info on them. He goes out to the car, saying Jack will be dead in one minute.

4:58 pm – Jack puts the bomb in small room.

4:59 pm – Robocop remote detonates the bomb, but Jack was safe because he pulled a floor tile and hid there.. He walks out of the room with his gun drawn. That’s our Jack!

4:59 pm – Manilow and CLG are working on a cover story. Phone call from IEST direct to the president, saying that this time Americans are going to get it.

next time – TWO HOURS OF JACK BAUER! MRS. MANILOW TELLS SECRET SERVICE ABOUT THE PLOT! JACK’S DAUGHTER RETURNS! JACK CATCHES UP WITH ROBOCOP! I GET THE CAPS LOCK UNSTUCK FROM THIS KEYBOARD!

Dave Barry and “24”

If you like Dave Barry and the show “24”, you should head on over to his blog on the nights they show new episodes. On the nights Dave is home, he posts updates while watching the show, and people make comments while watching the show live.

A couple of weeks ago, Dave asked if folks could write summaries of the show, and I started posting some of my own. A few people over there liked ’em, so I thought that this week I’d post my entry here:

Super quick summary:

3:00-4:00 – Jack gets a phone call from The Guy Previously Known as the Guy in the Dark Room, through Audrey at CTU. Jack gets into a gun fight on the roof of a building, no one calls the police over the machine gun fire, or the helicopter that’s flying around with black smoke after someone shoots at it. After all, this is LA, and this happens every day here.

Audrey works with Chloe to get information from the chip Jack gets from The Guy Previously Known As The Guy in the Dark Room. The Hobbit goes CRAZY looking for the One Ring, and SWEARS that Chloe and Audrey are keeping the information from him. He goes so crazy, he locks up Bilbo…er….Bill, when he thinks Bill, Chloe, and Audrey are working against him. He looks threatheningly at Edgar, who was eating a ho-ho.

In the meantime, the terrorists get a hold of the President, because it’s SUPER easy to get ahold of the president, (well, at least President Manilow), and ask him if they can pretty please have the motorcade route the Russian President is taking back to the airport. Mrs. Manilow hears this and completely freaks out. She’s never been in a motorcade. She jumps into the limo at the end of the episode. As she drives away, it occurs to her she heard something about terrorists and a motorcade.

Body counts:
A number of people get shot, a living room in a video game commercial gets shot, Stylish gets knifed by yet ANOTHER terrorist (they must pay these actors per episode), who’s apparently the REAL bad guy, at least until next week. Jack shoots at least two people, and brings down a black helicopter by shooting at it.

Dave, in answer to your question about what “the twist we wouldn’t believe”…. I think it’s that Jack actually got to shoot at people this episode.

Be sure and check out this week’s “24” action on Dave Barry’s Blog.