Season 8 – 24 – 11 pm to 12 am

Previously on “24”, we discovered:

Renee is pretty handy with a knife. She tried to help Jack get rid of a kidney stone, but missed; Despite making bad decisions in the past, Dana still hasn’t learned to NOT make bad decisions; Arlo is still a stalker; Jack can take a knife to the gut, and will just walk it off; if you take Jack hostage, it’s only because he let you do it, and because he wants the chance to kill as many bad guys as possible.

The following occurs between 11 pm and 12am:

11:00 pm – Dana leaves to make a phone call to Kevin, who is hiding out in a strip bar, not understanding that nobody can hide anything in a place like that. Dana figures that this is a great time to say goodbye to Kevin and Nick while they’re busy drooling, but the boys have other ideas. They want to continue their operation. Dana tells them she’s not interested in playing Doctor, and they explain what they really mean is to continue stealing with Dana’s help. Otherwise they’ll tell everyone she used to be a bad Cylon. Arlo arrives to stalk Dana, but when she sees him, he improvises and tells her that she shouldn’t be sneaking off making private phone calls, or he’ll tell Cole about Kevin. Arlo has no idea who Kevin really is, since he’s only heard his name, but he’s pretty sure it’s that bird from the movie “Up.”

With that out of the way, Arlo lets Dana know that Jack has taken the Russians hostage – they just don’t know that yet.

11:05 pm – Cole explains to Hastings that they haven’t figured out where Jack is. Hastings is upset that Renee used Vlad as a pin cushion. Hastings starts to question Dana about her absence, but Chloe steps and tells Hastings that Dana was helping implement a TCP/IP protocol completely in Flash. Hastings accepts this and leaves. When Dana tries to thank Chloe, Chloe tells her that she just wants help finding Jack before he kills all the hostages he’s taken.

11:06 pm – Bazhaev, fresh from killing his youngest son, does what any father would do: He’s working on replicating something he saw Gordon Ramsay make on “Kitchen Nightmares.” A bunch of Jack’s hostages bring Jack into the basement kitchen where Bazhaev is working, and he tells them to put Jack in a room down the hall. He’s surprised to learn that Vlad is dead, and want’s to know how Jack knows about the nuclear fuel rods. (They still don’t realize that FOX has been running commercials mentioning them for weeks).

11:08 pm – Bazhaev goes to meet with Jack, who is still pretending to be Harry Potter, only without the glasses. Jack is now is now tied to a chair. Jack tells him that he’s been looking for a horcrux, and some nuclear fuel rods. Bazhaev wants to know how Jack knows about the fuel rods, and Jack tells him that they intercepted some owls, and found out that Fahrad wanted to buy the fuel rods, but Jack’s people want to do the deal instead. Bazhaev looks skeptical, and Jack won’t tell him whom he’s working for. Jack offers him $250 million dollars in small unmarked bills, or in change if he really wants it that way. Bazhaev doesn’t believe that Jack isn’t really a cop, so he orders one of his men to “make Jack talk”, which probably isn’t going to end well for the bad guys.

Josef arrives telling his father that he buried his younger brother. Bazhaev explains his skepticism, and won’t tell Fahrad what’s going on until Dmitry has a chance to “talk” with Jack.

Apparently Dmitry is a car mechanic, because he just happens to have a portable car starter with him. He zaps Jack right in the area where Renee wounded him. Knowing Jack, that only sealed the wound and has made him stronger.


11:16 pm – Hasting is on the phone with Mrs. President, and gives her all the information he has on the situation, which means nothing.

Fahrad is on the phone with one of his lackeys. The lackey tells him that at the rate Hasan is cracking down on the opposition, they won’t be able to reconstitute their nuclear program. Fahrad tells him it should be as easy as adding water because that is how he reconstitutes all kinds of other things. Fahrad tells him that the nuclear material should be there within the hour.

Bazhaev enters the room and tells Fahrad that some guy dressed like Harry Potter is downstairs working on his Electric Boogaloo, and wants to outbid him for the nuclear fuel rods. Bazhaev tells Fahrad he has halted the shipments, because he doesn’t want to expose himself. Fahrad agrees that nobody wants to see something like that, but unless he gets those fuel rods, they’ll be worthless to him because of Hasan’s crackdown. Fahrad starts to complain at Bazhaev about the whole Hasan assassination screw up, which ticks Josef off enough to pull a gun on Fahrad. Bazhaev tells Josef to take Fahrad to the rendezvous point to wait.

11:19 pm – Renee arrives at CTU with Cole. She starts to question Hastings about whether or not he’s got a lead, and that he should be using all the great CTU technology they have. Hastings counters by telling her that they did have a good lead, but Renee stabbed it in the eye. Hastings then tells Chloe to debrief Renee and to have her get a psych eval, but to make sure she doesn’t have anything sharp at her disposal. Chloe tells Hastings that there’s nothing sharp about anything at CTU, but he ignores this and leaves.

Renee is upset that Jack’s been taken, but Chloe convinces her that she needs to write a statement.

11:20 pm – Dana tells Cole that she needs to talk to him. She tells him that she wants to tell him why she’s been acting weird for the last couple of days, which is especially weird since she’s only heard from Kevin within the last few HOURS. There’s no telling what else has been making her act weird before that.

She tells him that there are things about per past that she hasn’t told him. She looks very concerned that he’s not going to believe anything about her Battlestar Galactica days, but suddenly seems convinced she knows how to handle the whole situation.

11:22 pm – Meanwhile, back in the torture room where Jack is hanging from one of the rafters, Jack is still being tortured. This time, Dmitry pulls off Jack’s bandage really quickly, but even THAT doesn’t seem to faze Jack. Dmitry asks Jack who he’s working for, and then presses Jack’s wound, in the mistaken belief that either this is will make Jack say a pre-recorded message, or that it will turn him off like it would Data. Dmitry continues to torture Jack until Jack pretends to fall asleep. Jack, deciding that he’s questioned Dmitry long enough grabs the electrical grip from him with his FEET and uses it to shock Dmitry until Dmitry passes out. Or is dead. Whatever.

Jack notices that the pipe he’s hanging from is leaking, and climbs over to the leaking area to try clean his feet. He also tries to release himself.


11:30 pm – Hasan’s daughter goes to talk to Hasan, and she’s pretty upset at Tarin’s arrest. She also tells him that she’s seeing Tarin on the side, and that they both hope to be on a couple’s version of Survivor. Hasan is very upset by this, since that show is on another network, and tells her that he doesn’t want her to see him again.

11:33 pm – Jack struggles with the pipe a bit more, but his feet are completely clean now, so all is well. Dmitry, who wasn’t quite dead yet, wakes up just as Jack causes the pipe to come crashing down to the floor. Dmitry makes the classic mistake of bringing a knife to a Jack fight, and after a brief struggle gets killed by Jack, even though Jack is completely tied up. Jack frees himself. He goes through Dmitry’s pockets for a breath mint, but only finds a cell phone. The cell phone doesn’t work. Jack decides a better option might be to just leave. He sees that Bazhaev is still in the building, and that he happens to be near the fuse box. The next thing you know, the entire place goes dark. Bazhaev is smart enough to realize it might be “Muir”, and tells them to look for him.

Now, despite the rest of the place being completely dark, there is still light near the fuse box. The lackey that went to check on it tries to turn the power back on, but Jack jumps down from the ceiling where he was hiding using his Spiderman powers. It takes Jack about two seconds to kill this guy, and he finds a cell phone on this guy. He calls Chloe to talk about how great it has been to FINALLY take out some bad guys, and asks her to trace the phone call to get some CTU agents over there right away. He puts down the phone and starts hunting more bad guys.

He finds one to shoot, and does so. Bazhaev sees this, and kicking it old school, shoots at Jack with a shotgun. Jack, being the more modern guy that he is, dives for a machine gun, and shoots that. He completely misses Bazhaev and dives under a table. Bazhaev takes this opportunity to shoot some of the glassware on the tables, which he didn’t like anyway and misses Jack by a mile. Bazhaev moves in close to see if he’s killed Jack. Jack uses this to his advantage and knocks out Bazhaev by pushing the table on him, chalking up one of the few times that Jack has knocked out someone using a table that had been set for a formal occasion.


11:42 pm – Cole explains to Hastings that they’re sending a team to Jack. Hastings wants to know where Dana is, and Arlo completely tattletales on her, saying that she left 15 minutes ago, or in Jack terms, two dead bodies go.

Renee is relieved to hear that Jack is OK, and wants to talk to him. Chloe tells her that she needs to go to the infirmary to have her head examined, and takes her there.

11:43 pm – CTU finally makes it to Jack, who takes this opportunity to do a nice product placement with his Sprint phone. Jack asks to speak to Bazhaev alone, and promises not to kill him very much while he questions him. Jack tries to cut a deal to get information about the rods, telling Bazhaev that Josef and Oleg will be part of the deal too. Bazhaev tells Jack that he shot Oleg, because he only had a bit part in the storyline. Bazhaev wants full immunity.

Jack calls Chloe, and gets conferenced in to the conversation with Hastings and Mrs. President. Jack convinces them that Bazhaev won’t talk without a deal, and Mrs. President tells Jack that she’ll tell Bazhaev that personally.

11:46 pm – Back at CTU, Cole confronts Arlo about Dana and wants to know what Arlo was implying. He tells Cole, “I don’t want to be the one that tells you this”, when you can see it in his eyes that he TOTALLY wants to be the one that tells Cole this: Dana went to meet “some guy”. Cole thinks that Arlo must have misunderstood, because “Sum Gai” is one of her favorite Chinese meals. As proof, Arlo shows Cole the picture of Kevin up close and personal with Dana.

Hastings interrupts and tells Cole to go to a helipad to meet with his team. Cole leaves, but not before telling Arlo to trace where Dana is. He calls her.

Dana gets the call, but doesn’t answer. She’s spying on Kevin in that club he’s in.

Cole leaves a message, and enters an elevator. In the elevator, he helps one of his men buckle a strap. Unfortunately for this man, whenever someone helps someone else with a strap, the person who gets help is sure to die soon.


11:55 pm – Kayla tries to see Tarin and guilts the guard into telling her when Tarin will be transported out of the area.

11:56 pm – Hastings paces back and forth while giving Cole instructions. The helicopter approaches, but there aren’t any hostiles in sight, probably due to the fact that a HELICOPTER IS RIGHT THERE. The helicopter lands. They use a radiation detector to find the truck with the fuel rods, and open the door.

Instead of fuel rods, they discover the body of someone whose last act on earth was to try and stare at the hole someone put into his forehead. The person he was with is dead too, and the fuel rods are gone! One of the CTU agents notices that a necklace, the same necklace that Josef took from Oleg was hanging on the door. Josef took the rods, and forgot the necklace! Boy, his father is going to be mad.

Jack gets the call about the missing rods, and confronts Bazhaev. Bazhaev tells Jack they must have gone to the wrong truck that contained nuclear fuel rods, since they are so easy to mix up. Hastings tells Jack that they also found Oleg’s necklace, and Bazhaev realizes it was Josef who took the fuel rods.

Meanwhile, Josef makes a phone call to Fahrad and tells him that he’ll have the fuel rods to their location in a few minutes. Josef must be very strong, because somehow he got that huge box with the fuel rods in the back of his truck.

12:00 am – Time’s up!

NEXT TIME ON “24”: Jack yells! Lots of phone calls! Dana has a silencer! Someone tries to pull a gun on Jack!


Season 8 – 24 – 10 pm to 11 pm

Previously on “24”, we discovered: Jack speaks German like he’s gargling with marbles while having his foot stamped at the same time; Josef should have never kept his brother out late, because his Dad, Sergei is really, really strict about curfew; Arlo needs better pickup lines; Dana needs to remember that her boyfriend, Cole, has a gun and would probably be willing to practice his sniper skills on her old boyfriend, Kevin.

The following takes place between 10pm and 11 pm:

10:00 pm – Fortunately for us, they didn’t televise the vote, but President Taylor got the treaty ratified by everyone, including Jamaica, who mistakenly voted for it because they thought someone said “rad”. Her assistant tells her that most of the delegates are up past their bedtime, which likely means most of the delegates are eight years old.

The delegate from England asks Taylor what’s REALLY going on. Since there are only 30 delegates still left in the room, she feels like this is a perfect place to tell a secret. She explains the entire ending of LOST, which she’s been briefed on. He can’t believe the ending has anything to do with giant inflatable balloons, but takes her word for it. She also tells him about Hassan’s crackdown in his own country, and about the nuclear materials. He is surprised that someone would make a bolt of material out of something so dangerous. She also tells him that CTU is running an undercover operation.

10:03 pm – Jack, still in his cunning Harry Potter disguise, is in a car being driven to Vlad by one of Vlad’s henchmen – or it might be a lackey – or perhaps a cohort – it is hard to tell at this time of night. Jack gets a phone call from Cole, who lost satellite reception, so instead of waiting for BBC America to come back on the dish, he’s headed out of the building to try and figure out where Jack is going. Jack is still upset about not shooting anyone for a while, and declines the help.

10:04 pm- Arlo, using one of the bazillion cameras spread all over the city that CTU just happens to know how to tap into, is able to find Jack holding a gun on the cohort driving the car. Dana gets a phone call from Kevin, who has driven up to the building he’s going to break into with his friend. Dana tells him that they’re going to have to wait, because she’s a little busy. He tells her that they’re exposed out in the alley, and feeling uncomfortable about it. She tells him to not do that sort of thing, and she’ll get back to them as soon as she can.

10:05 pm – Chloe enters and tells Arlo that Hastings wants a field update. Arlo tells her that the field is nice and grassy this time of year, and asks Chloe if he can ask her a hypothetical question. She says that she doesn’t speak “hypothetical” and that she knows he’s talking about Dana. Arlo asks Chloe if she would want to know if her fiancé were cheating on her. Chloe says that she’d inform Jack and when he was done “interrogating” the fiancé, she would tazer him. Oh, and that Arlo is a creepy stalker. She tells him it’s none of his business. She goes to Dana and tells her about the meeting.

10:06 pm – Jack and his driver arrive at their destination, and Jack asks for the keys. He gets the driver out of the car, and they both go in to see Vlad. Jack asks if this is the way Vlad does business, sending in a Danny Bonaduce impersonator in to try and kill him. Jack says he wants to talk to Vlad. He stares at Vlad really closely, and then decides what he really wants is to talk to Renee. Jack takes off his Harry Potter glasses as he moves off to the side to talk to her, which he does to be sure she can recognize him through the disguise.

Jack tells Renee that he has authorization to pull her out of the undercover operation. Renee says it’s not a big deal. Vlad gets impatient, and wants to leave.

10:08 pm – Dana calls Kevin back as she enters a completely private CTU room, which in CTU terms means that it’s got a weird grid over the glass behind her. She tells him that the security code is 1668. He tries it, but it doesn’t work because he’s not very good with numbers. His partner tries it, and they’re in. Dana tells him that if they’re out of there in less than 20 minutes, they’ll have $120,000.

The next door also has a code: 4660. He tries his luck on this door, and this time it works for him. They’re in. They look for 3101. The code for that door is 2824. They go up to door 3110, which they can’t figure out is the wrong one until she tells them. They complain about all the numbers, but finally grab the money. Dana hangs up. Kevin wants to leave, but his partner thinks it’ll be a good time to go shopping, because after all, what POSSIBLY could go wrong?


10:16 pm – Jack and Renee wait while Vlad makes a phone call about the nuclear material. The Walmart he called didn’t have any in stock. He hangs up and asks Renee to make hor’dourves for everyone. He complains about the thickness of the bread she’s cutting, which in terms of “24” exciting scenes, this ranks pretty darn low. Vlad tries to get Jack upset by talking about Renee, but Jack doesn’t bite. Vlad asks Jack to leave while he makes more phone calls, so Jack waits outside.

10:18 pm – Sergei walks to his priest, Father Gregor, and tells him that he wants his son buried. Father Gregor says that he should be dead first. Sergei tells him his younger son, not Josef. Sergei volunteers his men to act as gravediggers.

Josef is still upset about his younger brother, and as a result, is hiding in a food storage closet. His father finds him, and tries to remind him that he’s doing all this so that Josef has a nice inheritance with wealth and consequence. Josef asks if that was an old TV show, and Sergei tells him he’s thinking of “Truth or Consequences”.

One of Sergei’s men knocks on the food storage closet door, and asks Sergei to come out of the closet – Vlad is on the phone.

10:22 pm – Vlad calls him “Sergei Petrovich”, which is suspiciously close to Steve The 24 Guy’s real name. Vlad asks about the nuclear rods, but Sergei tells him he doesn’t know anything about it. He tells Vlad not to call him again, and hangs up.

Renee tells Vlad that Sergei is just jealous he’s not in on the deal, and asks him to call the next person on his “nuclear material supplier list”. Vlad thinks it’s a better time to start trying to make out with Renee. She tells him that he can do that once he’s made more calls.

10:24 pm – Sergei calls a guy who’s riding in the back of a truck to tell him that he “knows what to do”, creating a mini-mystery in the style of LOST, without the interesting story line. We have NO idea what he means, unless it means finding Vlad and killing him. Sergei gets off the phone. The guy in the truck picks up a two-way radio, and tells the driver they have to stop, because he really, REALLY has to go to the bathroom. And he has to do whatever cryptic thing Sergei just told him about.


10:29 pm – Hassan, using a similar Harry Potter disguise as Jack’s, sits at a table full of black and white photographs. He gets out his touch screen cell phone, and writes on the screen with a pen. He’s obviously very distracted.

President Taylor calls him and asks about the treaty. She asks for his word about the letter and spirit about the agreement he’s supposed to sign. He says he’ll agree, and within the next few hours the arrests are going to stop. He says he’s going to take measures to make sure they stop, not telling her this likely means he’s going to just have everyone shot. He might just have them watch reruns of the Grammys, which might kill them even more quickly. They hang up.

Taylor asks her assistant, “How do you think he sounded?” He says, “Not like himself.” Taylor agrees, saying that his Indeterminate Mideastern Accent didn’t sound quite right to her either.

10:30 – Hassan asks Tarin how the interrogation with JamalJamot went, and how forceful the interrogation was. The answer “very”, which is pretty darn specific, and but that isn’t good enough for Hassan. He wants JamalJamot’s children arrested, and to apply whatever pressure necessary to hear what he wants. Tarin tells him that the children probably don’t know much, not even the secret crabby patty formula, despite how much Spongebob they watch. Hassan tells him he means JamalJamot. Tarin convinces Hassan that he really doesn’t want to have the children taken into custody because it would probably mean the end of distribution rights to all Nickelodeon shows in their country, and nobody would want that. Hassan realizes his mistake, and tells Tarin to go recheck phone records, because it will stall for time until the writers can think up something that’s actually exciting.

The body guard leaves, but Hassan asks the guy that’s with him to stay behind to look after some files. As soon as the body guard is gone, Hassan tells the guy that he really DOES want the children and JamalJamots wife arrested. Oh, and he wants to have Tarin checked out too, because Hassan is still just a wee bit paranoid about almost getting blown up a few hours ago.

10:33 pm – Kevin and Nick are still at the warehouse, when Nick pulls a gun on Kevin! Nick accidentally fires the gun! Finally some excitement! Whoops….spoke too soon. It’s a squirt gun.

10:34 pm – Chloe goes to Dana to let her know about the nuclear material that was on Hassan’s foiled assassin. Dana says that Hassan’s Foiled Assassin would be a good name for a rock band. Chloe says that the material is likely of soviet origin. Dana gets a call. It’s Kevin, and he’s freaking out that someone is there. Dana sees that there’s a cop, and directs them to another exit. Dana tells him that he has to slip past the cop. Nick completely misunderstands what “slip past the cop” means, and beats the living daylights out of him before they leave.


10:40 pm – Tarin knocks on Dalia’s door, and they embrace. Tarin’s is concerned about Hassan’s instructions, which he somehow found out about. There’s a knock on the door, and guards are there to take Tarin into custody. Just when it looks like there’s about to be some excitement…. There’s a let down. Nothing happens and they take Tarin away.

10:43 pm – Jack finally is sick of sitting, and starts to walk around outside the room where Vlad is making phone calls. In another strange coincidence, Vlad is talking on the phone with someone named “Roman”, which is exactly Steve The 24 Guy’s middle name (really!).

Vlad tells Renee he’s called everyone he knows, and nobody knows a thing about nuclear materials. Renee doesn’t want to take “no” for an answer, and tells Vlad that he needs to call everyone in the phone book until he finds someone that knows where to get the nuclear materials. She tells him that she’s just there for the deal, which really ticks Vlad off. He slaps her and punches her. Renee counters with a knife to the eye, and a stab in the neck. All in all, Renee wins.

Jack, hearing the telltale sighs of someone being stabbed to death, runs into the room. Renee turns around at just the wrong moment, and stabs Jack in the gut, causing him to fall back on to a couch. The Danny Bonaduce lookalike guy comes into the room and nearly pulls his gun on Renee, when Jack pulls the knife out of his own gut, throws it, and hits Danny right in the middle of the neck. Jack sees someone running towards the door through the translucent wall, picks up a gun and shoots through the wall, killing the guy. That’s TWO bad guy deaths in less than ten seconds. Jack was WAY overdue. He gives Renee a big ol’ hug to celebrate.


10:50 pm – Jack makes a call back to CTU while he bandages himself up, explaining to Hastings that Vlad is dead. Jack tells him that they all knew Vlad was violent before the whole operation started. Hastings says, “Violent? He’s dead on the floor!” Jack tells him that he means before that, when Vlad was less dead. Jack wants to move on by going through all the files.

10:52 pm – Renee is upset that she almost killed Jack, not realizing he’s signed on for a least one more season. She’s also upset that she doesn’t have anyone to fall back on if she’s not doing undercover, killing operations anymore. Jack says that she always has him. A scene like this, with all the dead bodies around, is always so romantic.

There’s a noise outside, and Jack foreshadows a BIG problem by saying “Hey, they must have been really moving! They’re here already!”

10:55 pm – Jack goes outside to meet the CTU agents, which turn out not to be CTU agents, but more Russian gangsters. Fresh out of knives to throw into people’s throats, Jack starts piling up dead bodies like cordwood while he explains that the Russians’ are coming to Renee. She asks him, “Wasn’t that a movie?” He ignores this and shuts the door. He hides Renee and tells her that he’s going to give himself up so CTU can follow him.

The Russians enter the room, and Jack pretends to completely weak saying “I’m just here to do business!” They take him away.

10:58 pm – Cole arrives just in time to have completely missed finding the Russians anywhere. Renee comes out of hiding. Cole asks where Jack is. Renee is surprised to hear this, since Jack told her that CTU would be watching the building. Nobody saw a thing, and they have no idea where Jack went.

Jack, of course, is underground in a sewer with the Russians. They walk out to a waiting car. They picked the one area in all of New York that DIDN’T have a CTU camera nearby.

11:00 pm – TIME’S UP!



24 – Season 8 – 9 pm to 10 pm

Previously on “24”, we found out that: Dana had really bad taste in boyfriends; Ziya, who had previously gotten an Extreme Manicure from Renee, doesn’t have to worry about his thumb anymore; Renee is REALLY good at playing chicken – either that our she could tell by looking down that gun barrel that it wasn’t loaded.

The following takes place between 9pm and 10pm:

9:00 pm – Jack arrives in time to see that Renee is still talking with Vladimir. He makes a phone call to CTU, suggesting that Renee is trying to get off the show in any way possible, even by dying. Hastings doesn’t want to pull her, so Jack suggests that when he goes undercover as a buyer for what the Russians are selling, he’ll take Renee’s place. Hastings says that Jack wouldn’t be able to do that very easily, since he doesn’t have freckles and he won’t look good in a Renee’s pantsuit.

9:05 pm – Hastings tells Dana that he wants her to start talking to the nuclear team that will help with the rods as soon as they find them. He’s worried that since Jack has previous experience with nuclear bombs going off, that he might just try and put them in a backpack and bring them in himself.

Dana’s a little distracted because of what her ex-boyfriend Kevin wants, but she agrees. When Hastings leaves, she calls Kevin to tell him that she found $120,000 impounded at a police warehouse. Kevin, and his friend Mick, who are camping out at Dana’s place try and perform a “high-five”, but end up doing a “side-five” instead. Somehow Kevin puts enough brain cells together to realize that trying to break into a warehouse to steal the money might not work out that well. Dana assures him that she can talk him through it, and promises to meet him in 30 minutes.

Arlo, who is still hitting on Dana, comes over to ask whether she solved that “problem” she went out to fix. He makes his hourly really crude hit on Dana, but she doesn’t fall for this lame attempt. Chloe looks like she wants to taser him right now.

9:07 pm – Vlad and Renee arrive back at their hideout. Renee explains that a guy named “Ernst Muir” is looking for weapons-grade uranium. Vlad looks skeptical, saying that “Ernst Muir” sounds like a cross between a James Bond villain and a ghost from a 1960s TV show. Vlad finally agrees to try and find out where the nuclear material might be. He asks for $5 million dollars, coupons from last week’s McDonald’s circular ad, and some real Russian vodka. Renee said it might be a problem, but she’ll check with “Muir”. Vlad leaves.

Renee starts looking around for people, and then asks Jack when he’ll be ready. Jack’s still on his way, and the only thing he’s having a problem finding are those coupons, so it’ll take about 30 minutes.


Continue reading “24 – Season 8 – 9 pm to 10 pm”

24 – Season 8 – 8pm to 9 pm

LAST TIME ON “24”, we found out that: The Russian mafia requires tattoos; Russians turn radioactive when they die; Dana and Chloe have speedy PowerPoint skills; Jack is going to need to speak to someone about getting a refund on plane tickets to L.A.; Renee is on a one-woman mission to stop people from hitchhiking, one thumb at a time.

The following takes place between 8pm and 9 pm.

8:00 pm – In Fictional Middle Eastern Country, a man receives a phone call from Fahrad. The man tells Fahrad that lots of people suspected in the plot against Hassan have been getting free, all-expense-paid tickets to the local police headquarters. Fahrad says that once they have the uranium, everything will be fine. They’ll sneak into police headquarters and when everyone is distracted because their hair is falling out, they’ll get their supporters out.

8:02 pm – Bazhaev, the lead Russian bad guy, is with his son, who is still sick because he watched “Twilight” without protective goggles. Josef, his other son, tries convince his father he can take his brother to, “House”, since he’s just a few minutes before this show and he’s sure they’ll be right back. Bazhaev said that he’d rather his son be taken to the country house instead, so he can die in peace there.

8:03 pm – Fahrad tells Bazhaev that their money will be here within the next five episodes. While he’s waiting, Bazhaev offers him two women, and some coupons for penicillin, redeemable at the closest local hospital.

8:05 pm – Meanwhile, Renee realizes that her impromptu surgery skills, as well as her bedside manner, leave a lot to be desired. Jack’s making a phone call to headquarters, and telling Renee that she’s pretty unstable, even by Jack’s standards. Renee tells him that she’s the best chance they have to get to the Russians, and Jack finally agrees, just as long as she doesn’t start adding more thumbs to her collection.

8:06 pm – The guy wakes up screaming because he’s covered with Kool-Aid. Renee finally calms him down by telling him that she’ll cut him in on the deal for the money she’s going to make, making his cut (“ha ha”) worth quite a bit. She tells him that she’ll give him a hand getting up, which he doesn’t consider remotely funny.

Continue reading “24 – Season 8 – 8pm to 9 pm”

24 – Season 8 – 7 pm to 8 pm

PREVIOUSLY ON “24”: Just happened! Hey! Pay Attention!

7:00 pm – Hastings tries to explain to Rob (who is riding in Taylor’s limo), that there was a wee bit of a screw up, but boy, oh, boy, one of “his” agents was trying to stop Hassan from getting blown up.

Turns out that Cole isn’t quite done playing CTU yet, and runs over to Hassan’s car to get him evacuated. Davros is headed straight for them when a car blocks his path. Cole gets Hassan evacuated, and calls Dana. Dana admits that Chloe knew all about what’s happening, and boy she feels stupid for not listening. Then she starts explaining more of her wedding plans, which Cole tunes out because he sees Davros. Davros makes the classic mistakes of 1) walking slowly, 2) walking alone, and 3) staring right at Cole while he’s walking. Cole runs after him, while Davros escapes into a building that’s been wrapped up in brown paper, ready to be shipped via the US Postal Service, which will mail anything.

7:02 pm – Jack and the good cop race towards where the building that Cole phoned in.

Farhad pretends to call the security detail to find out what’s going on, at Mrs. Hassan’s insistence. He really calls Davros, and finds out that Hassan is still alive. Davros tells him that it’s only a matter of time before everyone figures out what happened, and that he better get out of there as quietly and discretely as possible. So, Farhad does what anyone from his fake country would do, he stabs an officer in the neck with a knife and runs away. Farhad really needs to learn the different between “quietly and discretely” and “loudly and with great attention”.
Continue reading “24 – Season 8 – 7 pm to 8 pm”

24 – Season 8 – 6 pm to 7 pm

Last time on “24”, we learned that that: Stupid people continued to ignore Jack and Chloe; Hassan’s gonna have to get a new inner circle, and like right away; Dana has a stalker; Someone shot a thigh, and it wasn’t Jack, and it’s likely he’s gonna be non-too please about that; CTU has some REALLY good cameras all over New York; Meredith is getting a really tough interrogation from Hastings, in which she was asked questions, and when she didn’t answer they way he wanted, he asked her again, using his “mad voice”.

6:00 pm – Rob is on the phone with Hastings, and he wants to be able to tell President Taylor they’re making progress. Hastings says that he’s pretty sure it’s not pronounced “progress”, it’s pronounced “Progresso”, and he’s fresh out. In the meantime, he’s going to work on getting more information out of Meredith. He’s also working with a perimeter, which may be the fastest we’ve ever seen a perimeter on the show.

6:01 pm – At CTU, Cole asks Dana if she’s been able to do anything with the encryption keys. She says it’s not like they were breaking into a WAP channel of a wireless router, and they both have a good (albeit geeky) laugh about that. They have a really cool decryption graphic, which is completely not the way decryption works. But it looks cool.

They also discuss Jack’s suspicion that Meredith isn’t the person they’re looking for, and Dana tells him that he sounds just like Obi Wan Kenobi when he talks like that. He lets her know that Jack is looking for the suspect on his own.
Continue reading “24 – Season 8 – 6 pm to 7 pm”

24 – Season 8 – 5pm to 6pm

Last time on “24”, we learned that: If you see a glass box with an axe missing, take a couple of steps back; if you’re out of technology, even for less than a year, and even if you’re Chloe, it takes a while to get up to speed; if you hear the name “Jack Bauer” in any sentence, pay attention to what it is, and what he’s saying.

The following takes place between 5 pm and 6 pm, Standard Jack Axe Swinging Time!

5:00 pm – Davros phones someone to let them know that Victor is now an ex-Victor, but they need to speed things up.

5:01 pm – Cole phones CTU and is pretty upset that his helicopter went BOOM, most likely because he hadn’t finished making payments on it yet. Jack asks to talk to Hastings, and lets him know what Victor said about “someone close to Hassan”. Hastings insists that Jack come back to CTU for a debrief, and Jack finally agrees.

5:02 pm – Dana tells Hastings that she might have a lead on the insider, and mumbles some almost convincing technical stuff about how they did it. He tells her to have Chloe work on it too, “if it won’t slow you down”. Luckily for him, Chloe didn’t hear this or she would have tasered him.

5:03 pm – At a presidential press conference with Hassan, they all declare victory, no matter what the question is. While this is going on, Rob gets a phone call from Hastings to warn about what’s going on with Hassan. Rob wants Hastings to “handle it”, without warning Hassan about what’s happening. Rob asks to talk to Taylor privately.

5:04 pm – Hassan gets a phone call from that blonde woman, and she wants to see him soon. He invites her to his “private office”, which isn’t a euphmism, he really has a private office.

5:07 pm – Arlo tells Hastings “I told you so” about the anti-missile system which might have saved the helicopter, which goes over just about as well as you might expect. Hastings starts to smart off to Chloe, and she’s starting to regain the old Chloe style we all loved. They find that Meredith is the one that got into the servers at the UN, which is a pretty good trick since she isn’t even using a smart phone right now.
Continue reading “24 – Season 8 – 5pm to 6pm”

24 – Season 8 – 4 pm to 5 pm

Last time on “24”: Was a long time ago, and Jack was left in a coma. Kim, Jack’s daughter, agreed to an experimental treatment that MAY (yeah, maybe… suuuuuure, “maybe”…) save Jack’s life. Even in a coma, Jack could kick everyone’s butts. We’re pretty sure he’s up and around, he just doesn’t know that he’s about to be up and kicking butts for the next 24 hours.

So, get ready and set up some perimeters! Jack’s in New York!

The following takes place between 4pm and 5pm, Coordinated Jack Bauer Thigh Shootin’ Time!

4:00 pm – In downtown New York, a sniper attempts to shoot a guy in a red coat that just got out of a cab without paying. They’re really strict about not paying fares in New York. The guy in the red coat goes into an apartment building and into an apartment only to find that an actor friend of his took his role in the new version of Psycho a little too seriously… his friend is dead in the shower. So, he does want anyone would do in that situation. He uses his “phone a friend”, and finds out this guy is dead too! He’s running out of lifelines quickly.

Red coat guy leaves the apartment… only it’s not him! It’s a junky he gave the coat to; the junky clearly hasn’t seen any shows where people get killed for exchanging coats. Meanwhile, the original owner of the coat steals a car, and drives away. He does get shot by the Taxi Cab Company Sniper, but he drives off.

4:04 pm – Up in another apartment, Jack is baby sitting his grand daughter. She’s bored with the generic non-copyrighted cartoon she’s watching, so Jack changes the channel to the news, which is sure to bore that poor little girl out of her mind. Kim calls Jack to check up on him, and to make sure Jack hasn’t shot any bears at the zoo.

4:05 pm – Kim and Stephen talk things over about Jack, and it turns out that Jack been given a clean bill of health and he’s free to inhale toxic gas to save the world whenever the need arises.

4:06 pm – Outside of the UN, a fake news reporter announces that President Hassan and President Taylor are going to make a very important speech about dismantling a nuclear weapons program and that everything is going to just be great.

4:07 pm – Inside, it’s not so great. Taylor, Hassan, Ethan Kanin, and Farhad Hassan (President’s Hassan’s brother) argue about who gets to watch the nuclear weapons program get dismantled, when they shouldn’t have been mantled in the first place. Taylor wants the US to do it, Hassan wants the IAEA to do it, and someone in the back of the negotiating room wants Paula Abdul to do it, since she’s not busy right now anyway. They adjourn the discussion. Taylor tells Ethan to try and get things to work out for Hassan, since he’s a “once in a lifetime leader”, much like the “once in a lifetime leader” from all the previous seasons of 24.
Continue reading “24 – Season 8 – 4 pm to 5 pm”