Month: February 2009

Previously on 24, we learned: While Jack has special powers to get through traffic at the blink of an eye, others (like Samantha) take 45 minutes to cross the street; Chloe is a stay-at-home dentist; The longer a psycho killer takes to kill someone, the greater the chances their victim will kick their butt; If you’re low on special effects cash, a bottle rocker explosion can be substituted as a mid-air plane crash; After spending the last hour on the bridge of what looked like a Klingon Bird of Prey, “Ike” Dubaku’s Klingon isn’t as good as he thinks it is because incorrectly translated “Kaplah” as “Begin” at the end of last hour.

The following takes place between 2pm and 3pm

2 pm – At the FBI, Shaun is trying to figure out how to track a BIG YELLOW VAN, and is having problems. Janis tries to impress Larry by showing him code fragments, which are probably “Hello, World”. Janis asks Shaun to open a “fresh socket”. She says, “Fresh Socket! Not Fresca!”

2:01 – At the White House, things are tense because Ethan has a cell phone pressed to his ear, which is never a good sign. He’s trying to call Agent Gedge, but Gedge is busying being dead. Henry doesn’t answer the phone because he’s too busy being paralyzed.

Larry calls Ethan, and starts to complain about not finding Dubaku. Larry says he knows what’s at stake, and its not rib-eyes, it’s real people. He says that some of those people are impersonating dead parrots. Ethan apologizes.

2:03 – Bill, Chloe, Tony, Renee and Jack all go for a ride in Bill’s huge computer van, which has so many computers in it, it could double as a Geek Squad truck, except with bullets. They easily track the Prime Minster’s tooth and his wife.

2:05 – Hey! Dubaku turned on a light, so you can actually see him a bit better in his evil lair. Nichols arrives with Matobo. Dubaku tells him that to celebrate, they’re going to use the completely amazing SHAM-CIP-WOW device to make a chemical plant’s safety valves to fail. (Is there ANYTHING that CIP device can’t do? First planes, and now this! Amazing! Order now, and you’ll get TWO for the same price….. Oh…ahem…sorry, got carried away…)

Turns out that the reason Dubaku is so mad at the Prime Minister is that they didn’t shake hands at dinner once. The Prime Minister says that’s because Dubaku had a huge wad of tartar sauce on his fingers, and that he didn’t want to be part of a puppet government – He’s seen “The Muppet Movie”, and from what he can tell of where they put their hands, it looked MIGHTY uncomfortable. Matobo calls Dubaku a traitor. Dubaku tells him that he wants the name of his fellow traitors in Sangala, and Matobo tells him he stopped doing the stock market years ago.

Nichols asks whether they’ve heard from the President yet, and are surprised they haven’t. Dubaku thinks that if he can get enough people lying in the streets, it’ll make the president listen, what with all the traffic problems it’ll cause. (Not that it would cause any problems for Jack.)

2:08 pm – Bill’s van stops, and Jack starts climbing a ladder while Renee enters the front door. (Jack doesn’t like front doors). Bill and Tony follow. Renee sweet talks her way past the guards by showing her official Ovaltine badge.

She head to the third floor at Chloe’s direction, and up a stair case, where she let’s Jack, Bill and Tony in. They walk around pointing their guns at the carpet, just in case it does anything dangerous. Chloe leads them to an ex-computer room, and to a couple of panels in the floor, where they climb in. Chloe’s got GREAT software in her laptop.

2:10 – The Matobo’s are lead into a room, and are completely confident that Jack will help them…. Which is true, because he’s Jack. Meanwhile Chloe gives Jack very complicated instructions on how to re-do most of the duct work in the building to get to the bad guys, the Matobo’s, and obtain his contracting license, all simultaneously.

2:11 – Back at the FBI, Janis is still trying to do her Chloe impression. Shaun tells her that they’ve been combing the firewall for a breach. They haven’t found anything, but the hair on the firewall looks GREAT. Janis uses Google Earth to figure out that the words “Kidron, Ohio” on the screen must mean “Kidron, Ohio”, and realizes that the big insecticide plant on the outskirts of town is a likely target. Dubaku either wants to rid Sangala of those HUGE mosquitoes, or they’re about to release something toxic into the greater Kidron area.

2:12 – Janis calls John Brunner at the insecticide plant and tells him that there might be some bad things happening. Brunner is pretty surprised to get a call from the FBI, and even more surprised to realize that his plant is about to release toxic gas into the atmosphere. Stuff like this just doesn’t happen in Kidron every day, and something like this probably going to make it into the local papers.

Commercial

2:19 – Larry calls Ethan, Agent Tim talks to Ethan, and they all know about the chemical plant. They wonder why Henry or Gedge haven’t called back yet, not realizing that Henry is as stiff as a board, and Gedge is as dead as a doornail (and is quickly becoming as stiff as a board as well).

The President works on a speech, arguing over the word “outrage”, and whether they should just use the words “super dooper mad” instead.

Ethan and Tim come into the room to let the President know that they each know how to pronounce methyl isocyanate, and do so several times. They’re pretty upset that Kidron might lose half of the voters that voted for her for President if that gas cloud is really released.

2:21 – Chloe is still giving Jack his contractor correspondence course while he looks for Matobo and Dubaku. Just to put a little more pressure on Jack, she lets him know about the attack on the plant in Kidron in 12 minutes. He reminds her that even with they way they know how to drive, they would be in Kidron about 3 minutes late to stop it, so they’ll have to try and stop it from here.

Jack points his camera into Dubaku’s room, using the night vision capabilities of the device. This is unsurprising since Dubaku finally just gave up looking for a light switch. Chloe seems very impressed with the Evil Computer Dubaku is using.

2:23 – Shaun at the FBI tries to explain how they really should have upgraded ipchains in the firewall before this all happened, but Larry doesn’t want to hear it. Meanwhile, Janis is on the phone with Brunner asking him if he’s tried “flashing his drives”, which isn’t what it sounds like. She also asks him to reboot, because that’s always the first thing any computer support person wants you to do. Janis picks this time to tell him not to call her “honey”.

Brunner is about to release the gas into the room that he’s in, because he wants to reenact the scene from several seasons ago when The Hobbit died from poison gas. Janis has all the instructions to help him do this, which is likely because he called her “honey” earlier.

2:25 – Back at Bad Guy Central, Nichols decides they need a LOT better internet connection, because the web cams on top of the building are showing video of Jack and company on the roof…. From 20 minutes ago! Dabaku smacks him in the back of the head and reminds him that they shouldn’t have gone with dial-up. Dubaku is pretty freaked out about it, so he decides they better get out of there, and he unplugs the CIP device.

2:26 – Shaun realizes at this point that the firewall is back to normal. Janis is going to have to try and explain this to Brunner, which might be tough because he’s probably as dead as Gedge, only more toxically.

2:27 – Jack gets tired of waiting, and tells Tony and Bill to start going. Bill and Tony kill some guys (don’t worry, they were all bad). Dubaku must have bought the explosive computers, because of a few of them demonstrate that capability. There’s a LOT of shooting. The CIP device is destroyed, Dubako is missing, and the security guard downstairs is probably rethinking that whole idea of letting Renee go upstairs right about now.

Commercial

2:32 – Hey! Brunner is still alive at the plant! It just took Janis about five extra minutes to tell him to get out of there… she must have had to go out to the bathroom or something. Boy is she going to be embarrassed trying to explain that to him later.

2:33 – Renee’s leading the Matobo’s out of the building and into Bill’s van, where Chloe has been busy re-writing the FBI firewall software just in case anyone ever asks her for it. She’s also looking for Dubaku.

Dubaku finds Latham (the CIP engineer) hiding in a corner, hoping his part in the story was already over. Dubaku threatens to kill Latham’s wife and daughter unless Latham spontaneously explodes when Jack enters the room. Latham explodes, but Jack is safe. Dubaku leaves the building.

2:35 – Larry and Shaun at the FBI are just baffled about why Dubaku suddenly stopped the attack on the plant in Kidron. The best they can come up with is that Dubaku thinks that Kidron might be a fictional city, wasn’t sure, and stopped just in case. Larry tells Shaun that he has to work with Renee and the NSA to find Dubaku.

Shaun goes to tell Janis about their fun new assignment. Janis informs him that everything at the plant is fine, except for Brunner who isn’t so much fine as dead. She wants to talk to Brunner’s family for some reason. Most likely because she feels like a moron for not trying to stop John from saving the plant when all she had to do was read a few pages further into the script. Shaun has to remind her that they’re still on the whole “trying to keep thousands of people safe” mission, and that there will be more than enough time later to show how badly she feels. Janis is really upset. You can tell because she has a wrinkle in her forehead.

Commercial

2:42 – At the White House, Agent Tim briefs the President that somehow, magically, the firewall breach stopped. She really wants to know how this trick was accomplished, because it’ll be a great conversation starter at the next White House dinner party.

Ethan calls Secret Service to find Gedge and tells the president that Henry is still on the “conspiracy” about Roger’s death, and that Henry is missing. The president doesn’t look pleased.

2:46 – Vossler hears the Secret Service dispatcher, and tries to call Gedge. That phone call wakes up Henry, who realizes he can start moving around and acting again, instead of just grunting like a caveman like he did last hour. He goes to leave the apartment, just in time to see Vossler. Vossler chases Henry into Samantha’s apartment. Vossler gets a phone call… Hey! It’s Dubaku! This time, he wants Henry to come over to be a hostage for a while.

Commercial

2:52 – At Bill’s safe house, Bill starts the effort to find Dubaku, but Jack stops him. Jack says it’ll be a lot more dramatic and exciting if they could get other agencies involved, because that way they’d never really be sure who was a bad guy or not. Much more exciting that way, plus there are so many hours left to go. Chloe agrees. Matobo really wants to go back to the White House again, and Bill finally agrees.

2:54 – At the White House, the news shows the Kidron plant is in a state of disarray, with some people wearing chemical outfits. Others are just going into neighboring towns which must have some kind of anti-insecticide shielding (but really HUGE bugs).

The president receives a phone call from Matobo. Matobo explains that he can only tell her how he escaped in person and it must happen in private – so of course the first thing she does is call Ethan to tell him she just talked to Matobo, and that he should escort him upstairs with as few people seeing him as possible, which can only mean they are going to broadcast it on the WB network.

2:56 – Jack leaves with everyone, but Tony decides to stay to try and get Dubaku. Jack makes him promise to turn himself in after this is all over.

Meanwhile, Vossler puts Henry in his car, in the trunk.

2:58 – Dubaku is back at his apartment when a woman named Maria comes to the door to remind him about dinner that night.

2:59 – Dubaku calls Vossler, and tells him to bring Taylor to his apartment. I seriously doubt he’ll be inviting Henry to that dinner.

3:00 pm – Time’s up!

NEXT TIME ON 24: PHONE CALL TO THE PRESIDENT FROM HENRY! RENEE PULLS A GUN ON A BABY! SHOOTING! YELLING! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!