Category: Television

Summary of “24”: Episode 15 – 8 pm to 9 pm

Previously on “24”, we learned that: AUDREY IS DEAD! Well, she might be dead. Right now Jack thinks she’s dead, but it probably just means she faked her own death to get back at Jack for faking HIS death last season. It would just be like Audrey to get the nation’s hopes up like that, and turn around and show up just to torment us later.
In addition to that news, we also learned that Jack thought it would be Big Trouble if he blew up a nuclear weapon in San Francisco Bay, so he crash landed it instead. Oh, and Noah is a crazy person.

The following summary occurred between 8 pm and 9 pm:

8:00 pm – Jack tells the emergency crew working on the remote control drone pilot to be sure that he stays alive. Mike tells Jack about the teensy tiny problem of nuclear fallout, warns him not to step in anything that’s glowing, and runs off to see about the computers that were shot. One of the EMT guys tells Jack that the drone pilot was exposed to large amounts of PowerPoint slides on the computer he was using, and before he died he wanted to thank Jack for shooting him to end that misery. Jack calls Bill, and Bill tells him about Noah’s big plans to drop a nuclear weapon within the hour. They both decide it would be a good idea to find Gredenko before then.

8:02 pm – Gredenko works on his “Can You Hear Me Now” impression using his phone, but doesn’t have a phone plan that reaches the underworld, so he can’t reach the remote control drone pilot. Fayed is really upset that San Francisco is still San Francisco, and not the Nuclear Wasteland Formerly Know As San Francisco.

8:05 pm – Gredenko calls Mark, the guy he got the security codes from. Gredenko says that the last security codes just made all the garage doors in the neighborhood go up at the same time, and what he really needed was the access codes for the weapons. Mark hangs up, and feeds his mentally-challenged brother, Brady, who Mark is taking care of. It turns out that Brady has a rider in his contract just like rock bands, and he refuses to eat any red food. It turns out that he’s a real computer wiz too, since that’s how Mark got the security codes. Mark is one swell guy.

8:07 pm – Gredenko and Fayed leave in a completely inconspicuous dark car, and completely conspicuous U-Haul van.

8:08 pm – Milo is watching Nadia’s videos on YouTube, plotting how she can be TraitorGirl15, the next big viral video on the Internet. Bill says that Nadia is going to be tried as an enemy combatant. Bill says the proof is that she’s the only one in the whole world that could have possibly used her computer to stream information to Gredenko because everyone else in the entire world is completely aware of every single thing their computers do while they’re being used.

8:08 pm – Chloe calls Bill over and tells him that in an amazing plot development, that surprises everyone at CTU, they’ve already figured out that Mark is a traitorous weasel who has been helping Gredenko.

8:09 pm – One of Mike’s guys, Kyle, finding only a small plot device that was on remote drone pilot’s computer, figures out that Nadia is completely innocent of all charges against her. He springs into action and uses it to even the score with Mike for the mysterious “Denver” incident, whatever that is, and gives Mike the small plot device! Jack walks in, and it turns out the next guy they’re going to get to shoot is just a few miles away! This makes the second really, really bad guy very close to CTU in just two shows. Jack invites Mike to come along for all the shooting that’s about to happen, but Mike decides to stay behind, and gives that small plot device a great big squeeze.

Commercial

8:14 pm – In an effort to scare Wayne completely awake, Sandra is standing right by the window in case he wakes up even a little bit. Karen walks in and gives Sandra a big hug, frisking her for any long speeches she might have written for this occasion. Karen cuts the small talk, lets Sandra know about Noah’s crazy nuclear bomb ideas, and asks her to wake up Wayne. Sandra says that if she does that, they won’t know what state Wayne will be in when he wakes up. Karen says that she just wants him woken up, and that Wayne doesn’t have Hiro Nakamura’s abilities anyway, so there’s no chance he would just show up in a different state. Karen insists that Sandra needs to wake up Wayne, and asks WWWD? Sandra agrees to talk to the doctors.

8:16 pm – Back in the Planning Room of Death, Noah is getting a briefing on how to bomb a country that’s basically in the stone age back to the pre-stone age, and boy he’s excited about it. Lennox expresses his displeasure about that by making lots of faces and chewing on his pen, which everyone ignores. Evil Lisa comes in to hand Noah a note. Evil Lisa looks like she could be part of some weird invasion, so it’s probably good that Assad is dead, because he might have recognized her as an alien, since he had previous experience with that sort of thing. Anyway, the note says that Sandra’s about to wake up Wayne. Noah points at the note and says, “This is Karen Hayes”. Evil Lisa says, no, that’s a piece of paper. Noah calls the doctor.

8:18 pm – In Wayne’s room, the doctor gives Sandra and Karen the big news: Wayne’s condition is completely unchanged. The doctor takes a call from Noah. Noah’s gone completely paranoid and accuses the doctor of being in on “the plot” to subvert his policies. The doctor says that with all due respect, there hasn’t been a coherent plot for many hours now, and he doesn’t see that changing any time soon. The doctor finally tells Noah, “You’re not the boss of me”. Noah responds to this by telling the doctor he’s going to nail something unmentionable here on a family blog to a wall, and hangs up.

8:21 pm – Outside Mark’s House of Espionage, Jack’s got a positive ID on Mark, so they go in shooting. This completely freaks Brady out. Jack’s seen Rain Man fifty-seven times, so he’s the one that goes in to talk to Brady. Brady tells Jack that he’s trying to get through a firewall and setup a proxy server port. Jack’s reaction is EXACTLY the same as when Chloe tells him that sort of thing: He gets a glazed look on his face and says, “Oh”. Jack goes over to talk to Mike. Mike says he’s been selling security specs on a nuclear power plant to Gredenko.

8:23 pm – Mike and his second in command arrive at CTU, where they tell Bill that all the computers were “all complicated and stuff”. Mike asks about Nadia, and Bill tells him that she’s in a holding facility. Bill asks Mike why he wanted to know that, and Mike makes up an excuse that he might want to ask Nadia out for a date, but Bill ignores this. Milo comes up to tell Bill that Jack is on the phone. Jack informs Bill they’re going to use Brady to try and catch Gredenko when he comes to get the information about the power plant.

Commercial

8:28 pm – Jack brings Brady to Mark. Mark tells Brady to do whatever Jack wants him to do, and that Jack will take care of him. Mark calls Gredenko and tells him that Brady will have the security specs in the parking lot across the street, but neglects to tell him that Jack will be there with him with a large gun.

8:32 pm – Mike’s second in command who we learn is named Kyle. Kyle turns out to be an especially sleazy weasel, because he tells Milo that Mike has evidence that Nadia is completely innocent! Milo tears off his own arm sling, which he has been using to get sympathy from everyone, and pushes Milo around. In several plot twists that take place within about 10 seconds, it turns out that Mike gave Morris the small plot device. Bill says this is all very confusing, and finds it weird that there are so many people here that have names that start with letters in the middle of the alphabet. He suggests that people with names at the beginning of the alphabet are cool too, but everyone ignores him when Morris points out that the small plot device is real. Bill tells everyone to get back to work, and Milo apologizes to Mike for nearly letting Mike kill him with his bare hands.

Commercial

8:38 pm – Bill has Nadia uncuffed. He tells her that they found evidence that her workstation had been breached, and that she’s clear. She says that she’s actually opaque, and gets up to leave. Bill immediately starts using his mind powers to tell her what she’s thinking: That she’s going to quit and take legal action, but that she wants her to stay because they really need people to stay until the end of the season.

8:40 pm – Milo’s working on Nadia’s workstation when Chloe comes over to point that that Milo has a crush on Nadia. Nadia comes over and tries to point out that CTU isn’t the best place to start a relationship, what with all the gas canisters and shootings that tend to happen around there. Milo counters this with a very awkward to watch kiss. Even the camera guys had to pull back and show them from across the room. It was that awkward.

8:42 pm – Back at Wayne manor, Karen found the time to go get a half double decaffeinated half-caf with a twist of lemon for herself and Sandra. Sandra says she doesn’t like waiting, but recognizes that a lot of exciting stuff happens near the top of the hour, so she says she’ll have to wait. Sandra says that David Palmer had the patience of Job, and Karen tells her that she didn’t realize Job was a doctor. Sandra says, “Patience, not patients!”, but Karen ignores this when the doctor comes in. The doctor says that there has been some intracranial swelling, and if this continues, Wayne will get brain damage, and become a writer for “The Simple Life”. Sandra decides to take a chance and tells him that they need to wait, to see if they can keep Noah from carrying out his evil plan. In some impeccable timing, Wayne makes his machine go ping, which causes the doctor and nursing staff start looking around for some junior mints to see if that will help. One of the nurses makes a phone call to get a team of doctors into Wayne’s room, because they’re occupied with other REALLY important patients elsewhere.

8:44 pm – Jack consults with one of his tactical guys about what to do with Brady. Jack gives Brady one of the new microscopic iPods and puts it into Brady’s ear so that he and Brady can communicate. They go outside to meet with Gredenko. Jack sets up a perimeter with lots of tactical guys, but doesn’t have to call it a perimeter, because he’s Jack.

8:46 pm – Brady waits across the street from his house, and one of the tactical guys has his radio on MUCH too loudly. Jack looks like he wants to shoot him, but Gredenko drives up, so that’ll have to wait. Gredenko gets out of the car, and suddenly everyone realizes they’ve set up all the tactical guys on the wrong side of the street because no one has a clear shot at Gredenko. Brady gives Gredenko a USB drive. While Gredenko downloads the information into his laptop, he proves he’s a complete jerk by telling his men to shoot Brady as soon as the information is done downloading. Jack hears this, and tells Brady to hit the ground as soon as he can. The information gets done downloading, and Gredenko gives the order to kill Brady. After a tense moment where Brady doesn’t immediately hit the ground, he finally does, just in time for Gredenko to receive a new feathery ornament right in the neck. Lots of people get shot, including someone that’s still in the car. (Jack called dibs on that one, and shot him as soon as he got out). Brady, fortunately, is OK. The tactical guys drag Gredenko inside the house.

Commercial

8:53 pm – Jack gets Brady into a car to go see Mark at the hospital. As Jack goes in to talk to Gredenko, one of the tactical guys asks “Do you need help with him?” Jack mumbles, “You must be new here”, and then declines.

8:54 pm – Jack asks Gredenko, “Do you know who I am?” Gredenko tells Jack that he knows all about him, because they get “24” in Russia too, only there it’s called “Man Who Will Shoot You in the Thigh”. Jack threatens to do some nasty interrogating and then send Gredenko back to Russia, so Gredenko readily admits where the next target is. In return, he wants amnesty, a promise he won’t be sent back to Russia, and guarantee that Sanjaya will be off American Idol this week. This apparently stuns Jack, because he’s starts to go into a one-sided staring contest with Gredenko, who continues to just babble away.

8:56 pm – Back in Noah’s planning room, Lennox brings Noah some very bad news: Jack has Gredenko in custody. At least, Noah considers this bad news, but decides, what the heck, since they’re already in the neighborhood, the nuclear strike should continue. Lennox tries to argue with him, but Noah says that the special effects guys have been ready to go for a long time now, and he doesn’t want to disappoint them.

8:58 pm – Just as the commander calls to give the order, it turns out that the fleet already has orders… from President Wayne! The phone rings, and its Wayne calling for Noah! Wayne tells Noah that there is to be no launch today, and hangs up on Noah.

8:59 pm – Noah takes this opportunity to point out that Wayne must have been kidding about the “don’t bomb” thing, doesn’t want Wayne to remain in power, and asks to talk to the attorney general! Noah’s going to try and get Wayne out of the way!

9:00 pm – Time’s up!

NEXT TIME: WAYNE IS BACK, FIGHTING FOR HIS JOB! EVIL LISA ADVISES NOAH! BILL STATES THE OBVIOUS ABOUT THE BOMBS! JACK IS ITCHING TO SHOOT GREDENKO! LOTS OF SHOOTING!

Smoke Monster vs. “The Box”

spoilers ahead

I’d been running under the assumption that The Smoke Monster is something that has been manifesting itself as various people and creatures this whole time, but now I have to wonder.

If Locke’s father really popped out of “The Box” Ben was talking about, did Kate’s horse too? What about Jack’s Dad, when Jack saw him? (I’m not sure I’m ready for Jack’s Dad, the Zombie version).

Or was this all the smoke monster? The episode where Eko died had his brother running around, and shortly afterward he ended up dying because of the smoke monster.

Any thoughts on this? Smoke monster? The Box? Something else?

Who is Ben’s father?

Spoilers ahead – if you’re not up-to-date with the shows, don’t read this!

“LOST” has established that just about every one of the characters on the show has “daddy issues”. Locke’s father took a kidney and threw him out of a window, Kate didn’t like her step-father, Jack had problems with his father, Sun and Jin had problems with her father, and Hurley didn’t get along with his father at all well either.

Every one of those fathers was manipulative to some degree, and probably at least one or two of them are involved in Dharma or the Hanso foundation in some way. I’ve long thought that Jack’s father was in on something to do with Dharma. All this talk of fathers, and one thing I’ve never seen mentioned is:

Who in the heck is Ben’s father?

Ben said he was born on the island. He looks like he’s in his late 40s, or early 50s, so he was on the island since the late 50s or early 60s. The DeGroots didn’t start doing their experiments (at least from what we can tell in the tape) until the late 60s. So…. Who was on the island before Ben arrived on the scene, so to speak? Who is Ben’s father?

Any ideas?

The Man From Tallahasee

SPOILERS AHEAD – Don’t read this if you haven’t see this episode of LOST yet!

All in all, a great episode. Way back in October, in a posting called Is This Why Locke Ended Up in a Wheelchair?, I wrote about my theory that it was Locke’s father that had John beaten so badly that he ended up in a wheelchair. That was pretty darn close but, as we found out tonight, Locke’s father didn’t have it done…. He did it himself! Pretty brutally too, and not the way I expected. I always imagined it was a bus for some reason, but since they already did that this season to a much different conclusion, I suppose I shouldn’t have kept thinking that. What ended up happening was more shocking, that’s for sure.

Now the second part of the theory is that it was Locke’s father that was the same con-man that Sawyer is looking for. We’ll see if that comes to pass.

They also addressed (but didn’t answer….of course….) the question of why Ben got sick in the first place, when the island has some healing properties, which I know is a question on a lot of people’s minds. It was good to see that the show acknowledged this.

Ben is obviously REALLY interested in John, I think more for finding out why Locke was cured than because of his father. Knowing the twists and turns this show takes, it’s entirely possible that The Others brought Locke’s father to the island only to manipulate Locke, and the whole “box” story is just a story.

Let’s say for a minute that there really is something that can grab things out of no where and bring them to the island. It’s almost certainly not a box, because … well, that would just be weird. What would it be? If that statue with the four toes is real, then maybe what they found is some sort of ancient temple, stadium, or something that focuses the island’s energy and makes things happen.

Or maybe it really is a box. It’d be a darned big box though.

Summary for “24”: Episode 14 – 7 pm to 8 pm

Previously on “24”: We learned that: Mike Doyle needs to work on his people skills when meeting new people; Jack can do some pretty cool kung-fu moves with his belt; VP Noah likes to threaten people; The Russian consulate is going to need a lot of new windows, and employees; Slicing up kiwi fruit makes Martha Logan homicidal, but it might get her a Ginsu knife endorsement.

The following summary occurred between 7:00 pm and 8:00 pm:

7:00 pm – Outside the Russian consulate, which you can tell is the Russian consulate because of all the flags, they’re having a body bag display, with many styles to choose from. Mike goes to see Jack, who is refusing the nonsensical “medical treatment”, since he’s Jack Bauer and it might slow him down from shooting more bad guys. Mike tells him that it’s in “CTU’s hands”, and that Jack shouldn’t be involved. Mike has apparently not been briefed about Jack.

7:01 pm – Bill’s on the phone with VP Noah, telling him about the drones that Gredenko has. Bill says that they’re repositioning satellites. Noah says that getting better TV reception is not going to make the plot any clearer, and that what Bill really needs to do is find out what’s going on where Gredenko is. Bill tells Noah that he has no idea how close Gredenko and Fayed are to launching the drones.

7:02 pm – Fayed is in a staring contest with the people trying to get the drones ready, as if he can command them with his mind alone, which he saw someone do on TV once. Gredenko wants to know how many of the drones have been armed. Fayed tells him that drones have wings, not arms, and that one is ready to fly. Gredenko isn’t very happy about this, because everyone knows where they are. Fayed starts to play the “Nah, Nah! It’s your fault!” game with Gredenko, which doesn’t go over very well. They start packing up. Gredenko makes a phone call to someone that’s adjusting the sensitivity of some big black packing crates. He tells the man to launch drone 0-7-0-9. This guy has been a pretty big slacker, because he didn’t have time to set the evasion vectors. He does seem pretty impressed with himself that he remembers how to use a gaming joystick from the 1990s.

7:05 pm – Nadia tells someone on the phone that they have people pushing satellites into position and that their real-time feeds will be ready soon. Milo, who doesn’t seem to have ANY work to do since he’s been shot, goes over to bother Nadia. Chloe comes over just in time to see Milo touching Nadia, and announces that Nadia has been using Milo’s security code. Milo tries to blow some technical mumbo jumbo by Chloe which (as expected) doesn’t even come CLOSE to working. Nadia explains the directive that came down from Homeland Security, and Chloe STILL isn’t buying it, but won’t tell on them and says to be careful.

7:06 pm – Bill calls Nadia to tell her that Morris has used his mad skillz to find out that Gredenko has released the hounds, only it’s not a hound it’s more like drones. And actually, only one drone.

7:07 pm – Bill goes into a conference call with General Walsh, and Morris relays the information about the drones to Walsh. Instead of just acting on it, Walsh starts reading the manual over the phone, describing to everyone at CTU what the drone is capable of.

7:08 pm – Morris suddenly announces that the drone is no longer on the screen that he’s watching. Bill immediately looks on the screen right next to it, but it didn’t fly over there either, so he’s stumped. Morris runs off to “readjust some vectors”. Walsh says that he’s going to have his F-16s in a holding pattern, because apparently all of the army’s satellites don’t work anymore and they have to rely entirely on CTU to find the drone.

7:09 pm – The terrorist guy with the joystick has accessed CTU’s computers! From there, he can readjust their screens to prevent them from seeing the drone. He also says that he’s going to play some KFed videos on all their screens to try and induce vomiting.

7:10 pm – Lennox gets off the phone with Bill, and has the pleasant task of telling Noah that CTU has lost the drone. Noah, not having been briefed about important things (since he’s only the VP), doesn’t understand why the military can’t find the drone using the satellites just like everyone else that’s watching. Lennox says they’re still positioned for the NCAA tournament from last weekend, and that the drone just slipped through. As he’s explaining this, Noah says something to his sidekick, the evil “Lisa”, to get the joint chiefs together. Lennox says he doesn’t understand what smoking and Indians have anything to do with what they’re talking about. Noah tells him that he’s warned the ambassador (from the still unnamed country) that there would be a lot of things smoking in his country soon. Lennox tries to argue with Noah, until he realizes that Noah REALLY REALLY wants to drop a nuclear bomb, and he’s not all that particular where he does it.

Commercial

7:15 pm – Chloe uses her amazing computer skills to determine that since they haven’t been blown up yet, the drone must be headed elsewhere. Bill does the manager thing and agrees with the obvious.

7:16 pm – Jack arrives at CTU, and no one seems to be the slightest bit surprised that every time they’ve seen him today his clothes are getting better and better. At this rate he’ll be dressed in a tuxedo by the end of the show, and no one will notice. Bill tells Jack all about the drone and the part about not getting blasted to smithereens, and gets Jack to go to medical. Bill tells Mike to go watch Milo, because there hasn’t been any real conflict inside CTU for a while now, and they really need some.

7:17 pm – Jack heads off the medical, and sees Marilyn who says she regrets everything that happened between them. She goes to kiss him and completely misses his face. Marilyn then drops a bomb of her own that AUDREY IS DEAD! (Note: If you had stepped outside at that exact moment, you would have heard the entire nation yell “YES!” in one voice. It was pretty impressive.) Audrey was killed in a Chinese car accident, which probably means she was really kidnapped in China, just to have leverage on Jack for later in the show. Jack doesn’t realize this, and goes to ask Chloe why no one told him about Audrey. Chloe nearly says that they were STILL having parties about the news, but decides instead to tell him that Bill thought it would be nicer if Jack went to his death at Fayed’s hands thinking that Audrey was still alive… and they forgot to tell him once he wasn’t going to his death at Fayed’s hands. Chloe explains that there’s a file on all this. Jack wants to see it NOW, and actually yells at Chloe. Under different circumstances, I think Chloe would have gone into the computers and wrecked his credit rating, but she says she’ll help Jack get the file. Jack sees Bill and Mike from across the room and puts on his “I’m Mad You Didn’t Tell Me About My Annoying Girlfriend’s Death” face and stalks off.

7:19 pm – Evil Lisa tells Noah that all the right people are going to attend the nuclear bomb meeting, and one wrong person: Karen Hayes (Madam Haig, for you long time “24” fans). Noah says that he doesn’t want to underestimate her. Or overestimate her. Or estimate her at all.

7:20 pm – Karen goes walking down the hall, sees Lennox and the cuts on his face, and asks if someone pushed him down the stairs. He says he tripped over her ineptitude. She says that wasn’t really a question, she just wanted to be the first in line to do it, if the need arose. That out of the way, she tells Lennox she intends to stay to represent President Wayne. They both go into the meeting.

7:21 pm – VP Noah runs a VERY strict meeting, since it appears that no one can sit down before he tells them to. When they finally all sit, Noah announces that there are efforts to find the drone, and that he’s just itching to drop a bomb on someone as soon as he can. Noah uses the logic that since there are a bunch of terrorists in that country, exploding a bomb there will just make them stop all their terrorist antics. Karen disagrees and thinks this could start another World War. Noah quickly says, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that”, to the alarm of Karen. Karen says that stakes are just too high. Noah says that they’re not vampire slayers so that won’t be a problem, but someone should get them down in case they need them later. Noah declares the debate over, which is pretty weird since no one else said a thing about Noah’s plan.

Commercial

7:28 pm – Milo asks for some SIM files from Nadia, which she says she gave to Morris. She leaves, so Milo goes over to bug Chloe. Chloe is annoyed by this and Milo’s sudden interest in Morris. Milo asks Chloe to go check Morris’ breath, so she goes to do it by kissing him, which explains why Milo didn’t do it.

7:29 pm – Karen talks to Lennox about the nuclear bomb thing, thinking that Lennox might be a little bit iffy about the whole nuclear bomb idea. Karen says that Wayne wouldn’t like this decision. Lennox points out that every decision Wayne made today was wrong: rejecting his security proposals, believing Assad, and being president on a show like “24”, which has a really bad track record for presidents.

7:31 pm – Chloe comes in and announces that one of their computers is leaking information. Bill immediately looks down at the floor, so he doesn’t step in any and get it all over his shoes. Chloe explains that the information they’re using at CTU is being intercepted by someone on the outside, and they are using that to make sure CTU doesn’t find the drone. Mike tells Chloe to check Nadia’s workstation. Milo doesn’t like this one bit because he thinks that Mike is doing it just because Nadia is Muslim, and Mike admits that yes, that’s why he’s doing it.

Chloe does a quick check, and what do you know, it is Nadia’s workstation alright. Only problem is they’re using REALLY old computers that don’t run parallel FSK, so it’ll take 20 minutes to reboot the mainframe. Mike goes out and arrests Nadia, which is a huge surprise to her. Milo looks at what’s happening, and acts suspicious.

7:33 pm – Gredenko calls to find out where the drone is, and Fayed says that it’s still up in the air the last time he saw it. And that it’s 130 miles away from its target, which is San Francisco. Gredenko says that no one will be able to use that Mark Twain quote ever again after this.

Commercial

7:39 pm – Karen watches Wayne through a window, who’s being cared for by doctors and his Borg feeding tubes. Karen asks the doctor whether Wayne can be woken up for national security reasons, and he says no, but his family can wake him up for whatever reason they want. Wayne might suffer brain damage if they do that though.

7:40 pm – Back at CTU, everyone’s watching closed circuit TV for Nadia’s audition on “America’s Funniest Interrogations”.

7:41 pm – Morris explains some completely bizarre computer lingo, and says that they can trace the source to back to a building that just happens to be nearby.

7:42 pm – Mike asks Nadia to cooperate, but she won’t say anything. He tries an incorrectly placed Vulcan Nerve Pinch on her, which doesn’t help either. Mike really seems to be trying to be Jack, but he’s just not the same since his Silver Spoons days. Milo interrupts some particularly vicious hair-pulling, and tells Mike about the location of the signal. Mike leaves the room.

7:44 pm – In the CTU medical center, Jack has changed clothes again, and is now wearing a white halter-top which just isn’t his style. He reads a scary picture book, which turns out to be the file on Audrey. There are pictures of her body. Jack looks at it pretty carefully to make sure it’s not staged, and to be sure Audrey might not turn up as a zombie soon. A passing tactical guy tells Jack that they’ve found the signal location, and that he’s all excited there will be “shooting and stuff”.

7:45 pm – In the main CTU room, Bill’s having another meeting. That makes about 57 meetings Bill has had in the last 14 hours or so. He orders a perimeter from some new person we’ve never seen, and you can tell Bill knows it won’t be nearly as good a perimeter as Curtis used to do.

7:46 pm – Jack goes to Chloe to get a spare JackPhone, and tells Bill that he’s going out with the tactical unit because he hasn’t shot anyone in over an hour. He also says that when everything is over, he’s going to take a trip to China, NOT BY BOAT, and that he’s going to track down the people that killed Audrey, and thank them. Then shoot them. So he has some closure on all this. (I’m not sure about the “thank them” part). I see another illegal embassy intrusion in Jack’s future.

Commercial

7:50 pm – The terrorist drone controller guy is still working on flying the drone using that vintage joystick, when Gredenko calls for a full report. The guy gives him a full report and says it’ll be about three minutes until detonation. Gredenko tells him to concentrate on the task at hand. This must be some kind of Russian test they give people, where people ask you questions, and you’re supposed to ignore what they ask and keep doing whatever you’re doing.

7:52 pm – After receiving instructions from Chloe, the tactical team (and Jack) start moving in. Someone walks around the corner, and Jack is giving the honor of shooting this guy first, since he’s the lead agent in charge. One of the terrorists goes to check the source of the noise and receives several bullets, which answers that question. Joystick terrorist hides behind the flimsy computer stand he’s been working at and starts taking shots at the first shadow he sees. Unfortunately for him, Jack throws a couple of bullets his way. He tries to get a grenade, but can’t. Jack gets to the computer, and they know it’s headed to San Francisco, which coincidently was having a protest march in support of the terrorists that evening. (Those kooky people!) Jack turns the plane just in time to miss the perimeter and lands it in an industrial park area, where it bursts into flames making this a nearly picture perfect Russian plane landing. Jack tells Mike to get the Joystick terrorist awake.

7:56 pm – At the crash site, one of the guy’s pacemakers starts to make weird noises, so he asks for a Geiger counter. Since they don’t have anyone that can count Geigers, one of the firemen brings him another type of radiation detector. Woops…. There’s radioactive material in the area, so they all back off.

7:57 pm – Evil Lisa tells Noah that Bill is on the phone, and he seems really disappointed that the bomb didn’t go off in San Francisco. When Bill tells him there’s a small leak when the plane landed, Noah twists this into it being a dirty bomb. Karen points out that it did land in an industrial area, so of course it got a little dirty. Noah ignores this, and asks if there are casualties. Bill says the first responders are going to glow for a very long time, but HAZMAT will get it cleaned up. Bill hangs up.

7:59 pm -Noah decides that never mind what he said before, he REALLY REALLY wants to drop a bomb. He makes all kinds of justifications to himself, and tells Secretary Kanin to move the submarine in position and go blow some things up.

8:00 pm – Time’s up!

NEXT TIME: FAYED AND GREDENKO FIGHT! SANDRA IS BACK! NOAH IS MAD THAT NOTHING HAS BLOWN UP YET! JACK STORMS SOMETHING AND SHOOTS SOMETHING ELSE!

The “24” Summaries I Write

With the number of “24” postings I write, I thought people knew that I write them first for Dave Barry’s 24 Blog and that the summary I write there is supposed to be funny.

Check the comments section of the summary of Episode 10….

I understand that not everyone likes all the jokes, and some people won’t understand any of the jokes…. But folks, it’s supposed to be snarky.

That’s the point!

LOST: Par Avion

We found out a few things in this episode, and there was a spoiler in the preview for next week (more on that later).

“Par Avion” means “By Plane” in French.

We found out that Claire is indeed Jack’s half-sister, as I previously predicted here (and as many others have also suggested. We can add Claire to the list of survivors that have issues with their fathers. The question now is, why was Christian in Australia trying to see Claire just before his death? What did he want to tell her? Why did he travel all that way? Was she in danger?

The people working with The Others have a submarine they used to get to the island. The conversation that Kate and Mikhail had was pretty interesting. Mikhail said, “Two week ago, our underwater beacon stopped emitting it’s locater signal. There was an event. An electromagnetic pulse. It would be impossible to come back.” That means that there probably won’t be any help coming from the outside any time soon.

Mikhail knew the first and last name of Sayid, Kate and John. He was even able to spill the beans about John being paralyzed.

That fence that killed Mikhail wasn’t just built in time to keep the Flight 815 survivors out. It was probably needed to keep the animals out, and quite possibly to keep the people that were “recruited” (like Juliette) inside the fenced area.

John Locke’s purpose for coming along is more than just getting Jack back. He wants to confront Ben. (That was in the preview). Why he’s carrying C-4 in this backpack, I’m not as sure, but it’s not something that’s a good thing to just be carrying around like that.

Sawyer was reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. The Amazon.com description of that says that some of the themes are the struggle of good and evil, and the strength of the individual. “The strength of the individual” is particularly interesting in light of why Mikhail said Kate, Sayid and John were not on the list. Mikhail said, “You’re not on the list because you are flawed, angry, weak and frightened.”

Mikhail was wearing the same sort of jumpsuit that “Roger the work man” (the skeleton Hurley found) was wearing.

Claire finally found out about Desmond’s ability to see the future, and that Desmond has again saved Charlie from dying.

Jack seems content, just throwing the football around with Tom, which really shocked Kate. Has he gone over to “The Others”? Or is he just waiting for the opportunity to get out of there? Is Jack, “On The List”?

I think Jack is going to discover why The Others are there, and will start to try and help them do whatever they’re doing.